The Chains That Bind Us
by Hank's Lady
Summary: 3RD PLACE IN THE 'TOP 10 FAVOURITE FICS' COMPLETED IN JULY 2013 ON TWIFANFICTIONRECS. Edward is a movie-star, born into a life of fame and fortune, but always wishing for something else. When his girlfriend Bella publicly humiliates him, he eventually finds the opportunity to look for something better; something that deep down he always wanted. Rated M for adult scenes (slash).
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in it.**

**A/N: This is an AH, AU story, rated for adult scenes and it will alternate between viewpoints. I'm not sure how fast I will update on this one as the final part of my United trilogy takes precedence, but I hope you'll enjoy it.**

CHAPTER ONE

**Edward's POV**

"It's a wrap!"

They were the words I had been longing to hear all week and I heaved a sigh of relief and fixed a warm smile on my face as several of the crew congratulated me. Then I slipped away as quietly as possible and made my way to my trailer, locking myself in while I showered and changed. It was over, finally - until the next time.

I had been born into acting, my father an 'A' list star and my mother a popular comedienne working mostly on sit-coms and the occasional movie. By the time I was five years old I had been cast in a decent sized role as one of Mom's six children in a romantic comedy and by age ten, I was a star in my own right. I had never known anything else - learning lines, rehearsals, filming, studying my school books on set with a private tutor. My Hollywood home had twelve bedrooms, two swimming pools and a staff of twenty; I had my own driver, a live-in baby sitter and I was well used to the constant visits of other stars. All of the big names were 'Uncle' or 'Aunt' to me and every time I stepped outside the property gates, I was surrounded by cameras.

I was used to all the attention from the press and the public, but it didn't mean I liked it. There wasn't much about my life that I did like, but somehow twenty years had passed since my first role and my future stretched interminably in front of me, exactly the same as my present. I had always been made to believe that I was lucky, that I could have anything I wanted and that I should be grateful for the fact that I had the opportunity most people could only dream of. I was reminded that I was adored by millions and would never have to worry about my future, but those things didn't mean to me what they did to my parents and many of the other people within the industry.

Dad moved on from acting into directing when I was in my early teens and from then on it was usually his movies that I starred in. I had never chosen my own roles, always being steered into those my parents considered suitable, except for one five years ago, which I had determinedly plunged into despite their protests. It had been a gritty thriller, completely different from my usual roles and the public had loved it, but my family insisted that it wasn't the type of image I should be portraying and that taking matters into my own hands in such a way wasn't appreciated. I never told them the real reason I'd been determined to have that role; it would only have made things worse and what I had hoped for when I signed up for it hadn't happened anyway. I didn't know why I had imagined it would have.

I sat down with a sigh and closed my eyes, remembering how excited I had been when I got the news I was to co-star in 'The Last Train', a story about a gang of thieves of which I was the new recruit, wet behind the ears and keen to do as the leader, played by Jacob Black, ordered. The story ended with my character stabbing a train guard and then being shot and killed, following which the rest of the gang fled the country. At the time I didn't care what actually happened to my character; I had just wanted to work with Jacob. He had been a friend of my parents for years, having starred with Dad a few times. Jacob was twelve years older than me and I had hero-worshipped him, looking forward to the times he would visit our house and hang out, sometimes staying days at a time - right up until my eighteenth birthday when my parents sent him away and told him they didn't want to see him on their property again, or within several miles of me. Hence their annoyance at me working with him two years later. They thought I had forgotten about him now, but I hadn't and probably wouldn't, although I wished things could have been different. Five years on and even more of my life was mapped out for me although at least part of it made me happy.

It had been on the set of Dad's most recent blockbusters that I had met my girlfriend, Bella Swan. The first movie had been eagerly awaited by public and critics alike, the father and son team of director and actor drawing even more attention than usual. Carlisle and Edward Cullen were known all over the world and when the movie was received well enough to encourage a sequel, my popularity only increased further, especially when the star of the show fell for his co-star. She was virtually unknown before she was cast opposite me, but quickly became a household name after we were photographed eating out together. Since then, every little detail of our relationship had been on the news, in the papers, all over the internet, a large portion of it being untrue as was always the case with the press. We were viewed as the golden couple and seen as a package rather than two individual stars.

I had my own home now, which I shared with Bella. It was a smaller, less pretentious house than that of my parents, but it still felt like a show home, decorated and furnished by a team of designers Bella had employed rather than filled with things I would have chosen for myself. Her attitude virtually mirrored my mother's in that they both considered having almost unlimited amounts of money meant everything purchased should be the absolute best and most expensive available, regardless of whether or not it appealed. I hadn't complained about any of it - she was happy and I loved her so I figured the place in which we lived didn't really matter.

Now I gathered up my belongings and left the trailer, eager to get to the hotel and relax for a while before the wrap party that evening. Bella was making a movie on location in Canada, but was probably already landing at LAX, on her way to spend the night with me and to be at my side during the party. It had been a month since we saw each other and I was filled with excitement at the thought of having her with me, slipping away from the party at the earliest opportunity to catch up on some love-making before she left again the next morning.

The evening passed way too quickly. I watched out of the hotel room window as Bella arrived in a limousine and spent several minutes allowing herself to be photographed before she disappeared into the lobby. I would have preferred to spend the night with her at home, but it was a thirty-mile drive to our house, while the hotel was close to the club where the party was being held and not too far from the airport.

We had only an hour before the car arrived to take us to the club which was barely enough time to catch up on each other's news and share a few kisses. I would have loved to be able to give the party a miss, just for once, but there was no chance it would happen. Bella was ready in some new designer's creation that looked as if several peacocks may have been plucked to provide the decorations and my parents would be waiting at the club along with the rest of the cast and guests. There would be plenty of complaints from all sides if the star didn't show and I pinned a smile to my face and got on with it, the same as always.

A lot of hand-shaking and smalltalk followed, interspersed with sips of champagne and nibbles of tiny bits of food that left me starving, while Dad and Bella lapped up the attention and I asked myself for the thousandth time why I continued to put myself through this. The simple answer was, it was easier; I didn't want to hurt anybody; it was all I knew and part of me was afraid to turn my back on it all and discover that I still wouldn't find what I wanted - if I could figure out what that really was.

Back at the hotel, I was quick to order room service - steak and fries for myself and a salmon dish for Bella. We ate and emptied the mini-bar of wine and at last I found I could relax and forget about the world outside. For a few hours it was just me and my girlfriend, talking, laughing, making love and soaking in the deep bathtub together. We spent the night wrapped around each other and when I woke she was still with me, on the phone ordering breakfast be brought to our room.

"Can't you stay for the day?" I sighed, rolling over to look up at her.

"Sorry, Ed, my flight's at noon." She pouted regretfully and bent to kiss me.

"What time is it?"

"Nine-thirty."

"Shit."

Our time together was well and truly over and I got up to use the bathroom while I waited for breakfast. This was the worst part of working on different movies; we barely saw each other and it was more than two months before she finished filming. By the time she came home, we would only have weeks before I was tied up again although I hoped to at least be involved in something that didn't require too much filming on location.

I didn't leave the hotel until I knew Bella's plane had taken off and then I slipped out of the rear entrance to find my driver, who was lurking in a nondescript Jeep amongst the staff vehicles after I had called him with instructions on where to find me. For once, my escape went unnoticed as I slumped down in the seat, my face hidden behind dark glasses and a baseball cap pulled low and the journey home was uneventful. It was only when we approached the tall electric gates at the end of my driveway that the photographers appeared and I ruefully told the driver to exchange the vehicle as soon as he could.

I kept four or five cheap cars for the purpose and switched them regularly in order to achieve anonymity when I could. Bella didn't understand me and always took her red Porsche if she felt like driving, or the limo if she didn't. She loved the attention, even if it meant a simple trip for groceries taking hours and involving photographs and autographs and probably several articles in the tabloids.

At last the gates swung closed behind me and the car swept up the drive to the front door. A couple more minutes and I was indoors, dumping my belongings in the hallway and heading for the kitchen to make coffee. I probably had a week or two of endless interviews and TV appearances to look forward to before the excitement over my recently-finished movie dwindled until it actually appeared in the theatres. Then my time would be my own, more or less, for a brief period until I had to sign the next contract.

Later I talked to Leah, my manager, publicist and surrogate big sister when I needed one and filled in my diary with the list of appointments she reeled off. Leah liked the limelight less than I did and would go to great lengths to keep her life out of the press. She managed only a handful of stars and made no secret of the fact that she was in the business for the money. Once she had enough to make sufficient investments for her future, she planned to simply walk away and live the way she wanted. I envied her.

This time more talk show hosts, news programmes, newspapers and magazines wanted a piece of me than usual. They were excited about the new movie and wanted to take every opportunity to grill me about it and about Bella. The question that came up repeatedly was, had I thought about proposing yet and as usual I skipped over it and changed the subject. In truth, I _had _thought about asking her to marry me. We loved each other and I knew she eventually wanted marriage and children, but so far I had shied away from it. The very thought of a huge event with hundreds of guests and probably a whole magazine issue devoted to it horrified me and I knew that Bella would never agree to slipping away somewhere exotic with no one to attend to us except a priest and a couple of witnesses. I knew that eventually I would ask her anyway; I _wanted_ to marry her and I would put up with the extravagant day for her and the rest of my family; I just wasn't ready yet.

I slumped back onto the couch with a sigh. The only person I ever revealed my real thoughts to was Leah and I always expected her to tell me to get hold of myself, grow a spine and tell everyone to go fuck themselves, but she never did; she sympathised and helped me deal.

Now a month had passed since I finished filming and I'd finally gotten through the stream of publicity. I had a stack of fourteen scripts awaiting my attention and a list of recommendations from my father as to which of them I should read and which should go straight into the trash. His next project was a children's animation, something Mom had specifically asked him to get involved in, which for once had no part for me, but as usual this made no difference to his intention to dictate what I worked on next. I had been putting off looking at the offers, but now I gathered up the pile from the coffee table in front of me and looked at the sheet of paper on the top.

Dad's list noted three out of the fourteen scripts which he deemed 'suitable' and I began to scowl as I moved the pile onto the cushion next to me and picked up the first one. Twenty-five years old and I was still doing exactly as my parents told me, but they had always been able to manipulate me well enough. Both of them were skilled at making me feel as if I owed them and making me feel guilty if I went against their wishes - like with 'The Last Train'. I hadn't heard the end of that for months afterwards.

By the time I had scanned through the opening pages of the three on Dad's list, I was bored and frustrated. The movies were undoubtedly going to be blockbusters, especially with my name at the top of the cast list, but they were all safe, unexciting plots - at least to me. If only Bella were home; perhaps we could have chosen one together, but she still had almost six weeks' filming in Canada and I would have to make a decision in the next week or two. Besides, Bella was much too close to my parents to want to go against them, even if it meant pleasing me.

"Fuck it," I muttered, picking up the next script from the pile. 'Claustrophobia' was a horror movie, but the summary indicated the title was all I needed to know and I cast it aside. The story was about a group of pot-holers trapped underground after a cave-in and I hated small spaces myself. The idea gave me the creeps.

I quickly discarded the latest remake of the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and Wes Craven's new gory and horrific tale before the next title sparked my interest. 'The Chains That Bind Us'. Hell, if that wasn't a title that could be applied to my own life. I began to read the first page.

_'Martin Fuller, spoiled rich kid, desperate to break away from the boundaries of his father's law firm and experience life. At the risk of upsetting the family and being cut off, he turns his back on his upbringing and meets...'_

My phone rang and I stared at it for a moment, wondering if somehow the paparazzi had managed to get hold of yet another new number, or if it was one of my parents or Bella. I scooted forward on the seat and snatched it up from the table, answering the unknown caller quickly.

"Yes?"

"Edward Cullen?"

"Who is this?" My thumb hovered over the 'end call' button and I pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand as I waited for a response, wondering why I had bothered to answer.

"This is Seth Clearwater from the 'Stars Weekly' newsdesk..."

"How did you get this number?" I growled.

The young journalist was a pain in the ass who somehow repeatedly succeeded in breaking through any amount of security in place intended to prevent his type from getting to me. Predictably he didn't answer the question.

"I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on the photograph in this morning's papers? Assuming you've seen them; it is quite early..."

"What photograph?" I asked before I could stop myself and then cursed inwardly. I should have simply hung up.

"Well, the one of Bella and...Sam Uley."

"They're in the papers practically every day. I'd appreciate it you wouldn't bother me in the future. I'll be having this number changed later." I cut the call and sat back with a sigh. "Jerk," I muttered and then picked up the phone again and turned it off. "What's he talking about, anyway?"

I hadn't picked up my morning paper from the mailbox by the gate yet, but my housekeeper was due to arrive some time within the next hour and she always checked on the way in. It could wait until then. Bella was in the papers lately even more than me, with stills from her movie, some alone and some with Sam, her co-star, or various other cast members.

"Good morning, Mr Cullen!"

Her cheery voice took me by surprise. I hadn't heard her car or the door and guessed I had been too engrossed in either the scripts or the phone call.

"Morning, Bridget. Did you get the mail?"

"It's right here; the paper too. Shall I make you coffee?"

"No, I'm good, thanks, I had some."

"I'll get on with the upstairs then."

The housekeeper left me quickly, closing the door behind her and I dropped 'The Chains That Bind Us' back onto the pile and sifted through the mail. Fan letters, a phone bill, something from my accountant...the usual. I pulled the plastic sleeve off of the newspaper and unrolled it.

Immediately I found myself faced with a photograph of Bella in the arms of Sam Uley. It was similar to the one shown last week - a shot of them getting it on in the studio surrounded by cameras, a boom mic practically in their faces. But in this one they weren't on set and it didn't look like part of the movie. They were in some kind of park, partly obscured by shrubs, the photograph a little blurry as if it had been taken from a distance with a telescopic lens, but not so blurry that you couldn't see the detail of them locking lips. I shivered, suddenly feeling cold all over and I put a hand over my mouth, unsure whether I would vomit as I began to read the description below.

_'Bella Swan and co-star, Sam Uley, grab some alone time in Stanley Park, Vancouver. Could the starlet be moving on from Edward Cullen to the little known actor from Forks, Washington?'_

It went on to speculate about our relationship, pointing out that we had barely spent any time together in the past few months and despite Bella flying to LA to be with me for the wrap party, she had only stayed one night, perhaps eager to get back to Sam.

"Bullshit," I muttered.

She had cried when she left me in the hotel; told me how much she loved me, how she couldn't wait to finish filming and come home. We talked on the phone, emailed, every day. I glanced at the photograph again, looking for something in it that said it wasn't what it looked like. Her hands were on his neck, his arm around her, the tips of his fingers hidden under the waistband of her jeans, their bodies pressed together, eyes closed.

I threw the paper aside and ran to the downstairs bathroom, throwing myself to my knees in front of the toilet and vomiting violently, continuously, until I was dry heaving, eyes watering. My chest hurt and I flushed the toilet and leaned back against the cold tiled wall. Tears spilled down my cheeks and I cried silently, snuffling and gasping, clenching my fists so hard that my nails cut into my palms.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there, but eventually Bridget knocked on the door to ask if I was alright and if she should call my doctor. I hauled myself up and turned on the cold water to wash my face and called out that I was fine, I probably ate something late last night that upset my stomach. I emerged reluctantly a few minutes later, retrieved my phone from the lounge and headed up to my room - _our _room. The only thing I could do was call her; find out for sure.

I called Bella's cellphone on the off chance that she might be in her hotel or her trailer rather than on set, but when she answered on the second ring, I didn't expect it and for a second I was speechless.

"Ed? This is a surprise."

"Yeah. I wasn't sure if you'd be on set, or..."

"We're taking a break, I'm in my trailer."

"Alone?"

"Of course."

"I thought you might have had company," I said. "Like Sam."

"What?"

"There's a picture of you on the front page of the Globe, Bella. Stanley Park?" I wanted to get it said as fast as possible, but I found myself holding my breath as I waited for her to say something. The photo told enough of a story, but I didn't want to believe it. I wanted her to say they were rehearsing; that it was part of the movie...anything.

"Edward...I'm sorry..."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

**Jacob's POV**

I walked out of the house with my laptop tucked under my arm, a towel draped over my shoulder and two bottles of beer in one hand, wearing only a pair of cargo shorts with the legs frayed up to my thighs and some dark glasses. Only eight o'clock and already the temperature was blistering. I spread the towel on a sunbed positioned beneath the large parasol at the edge of the sand, lowered myself onto it and opened up the laptop, taking a sip of one of the beers. Rather too early to be drinking, but I was out of soda and would have to wait for Oscar to come over and fetch groceries. The old guy had worked for me for almost five years since I'd bought the house on the west coast of Barbados, whether I was there or not. He cleaned, kept the yard, ran errands, took my car for servicing, fetched visitors from the airport on the rare occasions I had any - whatever I needed him to do. The amount I paid him kept him and his wife in a house they couldn't possibly have hoped to own otherwise and he was proud as punch that Adanna didn't have to work, but could spend as much time as she wanted with their grandchildren.

I had eventually sold my home in LA three years ago when it became clear I would never live in it again. Dad had passed away and there was no longer anything to make me want to return to the city. My villa on the island was idyllic and the life there was everything I wanted. The pace of everything was so laid back it almost came to a standstill, but I could spend as much time as I wanted working on the book I had decided to write - a thriller novel which I planned to publish under a pseudonym to maintain my anonymity. Most people here knew who I was, but they didn't care. I hadn't acted in five years and the paparazzi had long since given up bothering me. I didn't give them anything exciting to write about and after the scandal I had created by coming out and quitting acting all in the space of one press conference, they had moved onto pastures new.

"Good morning, Mr Black!" Oscar called out from his shiny almost-new truck as he pulled up beside the house.

"Morning, Oscar. You know, after five years, you can call me Jacob, or Jake, if you want," I said for the thousandth time.

"Mr Black, you're my employer," Oscar said, beaming a bright white grin from his dark face. "So, what can I do for you today?"

"I left a list of groceries I need by the kitchen sink with some money," I told him. "My car needs new tyres on too, if you could get that done."

"Sure, Mr Black. I'll get right to it."

He headed into the house and I switched on the laptop, deciding to check my emails and the day's news before I started writing. There was nothing in my Inbox other than junk that didn't interest me and a brief message from one of my exes who still seemed to be clinging to the hopes that I might have him back. It had been almost a year and all it had been to me was a holiday romance when the guy took a vacation on the island, but he had seen it as way more than that. He was asking if he could come over to visit for a few days. I ignored the message, deciding to think up a suitable response later.

I opened up one of the news websites next and coughed, spluttering beer onto the keyboard, as the first thing that popped up on the screen was the title 'Heartbroken' with a picture of Edward Cullen underneath.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, putting the beer down and wiping the keys quickly with the corner of my towel.

I scrolled down a little and peered more closely at the photograph. It was a head and shoulders shot. He was wearing an old sweatshirt and had several days' growth on his face. His eyes were shadowed, face strained and he looked like...he looked exactly like the title of the article. What the hell happened? I began to read.

_'Heartbroken Edward Cullen visited his parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, yesterday, presumably looking for comfort in the aftermath of girlfriend, Bella Swan's indiscretion. Bella, who is currently filming 'Foxed' with upcoming star, Sam Uley, was recently spied in a passionate embrace with Sam in Stanley Park, Vancouver, which was apparently not a rehearsal for their roles. Bella was clearly not thinking smart when she indulged in the kiss in public, risking both her relationship and her popularity. Fans of the Golden Couple are outraged over her behaviour and already threatening to boycott her movie upon its release._

_'Bella was seen at LAX two days ago and is thought to have flown home to talk to Edward in an effort to fix the situation, but the star is obviously crushed and not in a forgiving mood. Bella is already back in Vancouver and so far Edward has been unavailable for comment. Social media sites are flooded with supportive messages from his fans...'_

I stopped reading, wondering how much of this was true. The press was full of shit and made things up all the time, or exaggerated perfectly innocent situations, but as I scrolled further down the page, the incriminating photograph of Bella and Sam appeared, followed by a statement that Bella had apparently given to the noxious little journo, Seth Clearwater. He was the younger brother of Edward's manager, Leah, but the pair had been estranged for years since he joined the press despite her attempts to dissuade him. I went on to read Bella's supposed statement, which explained that the kiss had been a momentary lapse of judgement, that it meant nothing; she was ashamed and thoroughly regretted her actions. She loved Edward more than anything and was confident they would work things out.

"Fucking bitch," I said aloud.

I had never liked Bella. I hadn't even met her, but what I saw was an unknown, desperate to make it in the business, given a lucky break with Carlisle Cullen's blockbuster double and discovering that being seen on Edward's arm was her ticket to the red carpet more than her acting skills. I'd watched the movies when they became available on DVD and was unsure how she had landed the roles. She was wooden, emotionless, her face betraying nothing and yet somehow she had become the love of Edward's life and the apple of his parents' eyes - at least that was what the press said and it seemed that was true after her sudden rise to stardom.

I rolled the screen down again and took another look at the picture of Edward. It was too long since I had spoken to him - five years - and that had been my doing. I had thought I was doing him a favour, but walking away had hurt like hell. That had been one of the main reasons I left everything behind; I felt too much for him and I was sick of hiding my real self, pretending to be something I wasn't, putting on an act for the public whether I was on set or not. I had grown to hate it all and I ended it and left the States, then spent six months fighting off the constant attempts by the press to get more out of me. Edward hadn't tried to get in touch with me afterwards, but I hadn't really expected him to; I hadn't given him any reason to.

I sighed heavily and picked up the beer again, draining the bottle as I remembered the last movie I made. 'The Last Train' was a similar kind of story to the works I'd previously been involved in - an action thriller about a gang of train robbers. I was the leader and Edward had played the new recruit; the one everyone feared would be the cause of the gang being caught, but who had ended up dying. It was the only project we ever worked on together and Carlisle and Esme had made their displeasure obvious when Edward determinedly signed up for it and followed this by having Leah organise some interviews for him so that he could reveal his plans. After the first one it was too late for Carlisle to interfere and get him out of it. I grinned at the memory of his gleeful announcement to me that he was taking the role and his parents would just have to suck it up. It was the only time he had actively gone against their wishes and I had been more delighted than I should have been. We hadn't really spoken much in two years and I was happy about working with him.

The movie had taken six months to make. A good portion of it had been in the studio although some of it was shot on location in New York. In between filming, Edward hung out with me at every opportunity and he seemed happier than I'd ever seen him. He had confided in me years before that he hated being famous and wished he could go to school and college like a regular kid, have a normal career, a small house, friends. Those six months he was different and I wasn't oblivious to the fact that he hadn't forgotten what had caused Carlisle to end his friendship with me and send me packing two years before. I knew Edward had a crush on me and I should have discouraged it, but in truth, I didn't want to. He was too young, too hampered by expectations and had a brilliant career ahead of him, but somehow I fell for him anyway, despite telling myself it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to do anything that would mess with his future.

When the movie ended and the wrap party was over, Edward had come to my room before his parents could whisk him off home. I knew it was him, just from the timid-sounding knock on the door.

_"Hey," he said when I opened it. He had his hands in the pockets of his Armani suit pants, the jacket open and tucked back behind his wrists, the watch I had bought him for his eighteenth visible below his cuff._

_"You want to come in?" I offered._

_He followed me into the room and my heart pounded foolishly. I cursed myself for feeling like a love-sick kid. I was thirty-two and I shouldn't have let myself harbour feelings for a twenty-year-old that I could never have, but my head had never been able to rule my heart._

_"We're going home soon; I came to say goodbye," he said to me._

_"Yeah, I'll be taking off in the morning," I nodded._

_"Do you know what you're going to work on next? Maybe we could do something else, you know, similar."_

_"I haven't thought about it," I told him. "I think Carlisle might shoot me if we work together again, though."_

_"He can't tell me what to do any more."_

_"Edward, he just does what he thinks is best for you."_

_"Yeah, well I don't think it's best for me. You know much I hate this life. I think the only time I've ever enjoyed acting is this time, when I got to choose."_

_"It won't be the last time," I assured him. "You're just coming into your own. Let your Dad pick the next one; keep them happy and then choose what comes after that."_

_"I guess." He edged closer to me where we stood in the middle of the room. "So...um...I never got chance to talk to you about...what happened before."_

_"There's no need; it's in the past," I said quickly and a touch breathlessly._

_"It's not to me. I thought it might have meant something. I wanted it to." Suddenly his hands were resting on my chest and he must have been able to feel how fast my heart was banging against my ribs. "Do you still...like me?"_

_His eyes were lowered, his cheeks bright with colour. His lashes lifted slowly and his green eyes met mine, full of hope, before he leaned in to kiss me. I turned my head to the side and his lips brushed my jaw instead, but he didn't back away. I wanted so much right then. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, kiss him until he couldn't breathe, tell him how much I wanted him, how much I felt for him, pull him into that huge hotel bed with me. Instead I put my hands gently on his upper arms and stepped back._

_"Don't, babe," I whispered. "It's not going to happen. I'm sorry."_

_"But...I thought...fuck...um...I guess I was wrong...I...sorry..." he stammered._

_He flushed redder than ever and backed towards the door, his eyes darting about and avoiding my face. He was horribly embarrassed, hurt too, and I felt like a real shit._

_"Edward, wait, come here," I said._

_I wanted to explain why, but he already had the door open and in another second he was through it. It closed after him and that was that. It was done and although I was tempted to call him, I didn't do it. I needed to stay away from him. We saw each other once or twice during the promotions afterwards and at the premier, but he was awkward and did his best to avoid talking to me. I was angry with myself; for wanting him, for letting him hope, for hurting him and I took some time to think about where my life was at and what I wanted from it._

I had more money than I knew what to do with; there was no need for me to keep on making movies and I knew I would be better off taking a step back and doing something else, somewhere else, so that I didn't keep thinking about him. Even if I hadn't turned him down, nothing would ever have come of it. So far I had managed to keep my personal life to myself, but it was no small task and it would certainly be found out if I got close to Edward, regardless of what his parents thought about it. Only Dad, Edward and a handful of others knew I was gay, which was why I had managed to stay single for long. I'd had several brief interludes with guys, but I always worried later that I would see them on the front page of the tabloids with a 'kiss and tell' story. So far it hadn't happened, but I figured that was just luck.

Rather than try to slip away quietly, which would only result in me being hounded by relentless paparazzi, I arranged a press conference and stated firmly that 'The Last Train' had been exactly that - my last journey within acting. There had already been speculation about my blatant lack of girlfriends and I added that I was gay, but single and that my business was my own. I wanted to live the rest of my life out of the limelight, but I was tired of hiding who I was. I wanted to be proud of myself rather than deny myself to portray a certain image. I put up with the weeks of questions and articles in the press, a lot of which were full of shit and through it all Dad had supported me. He had never approved of me keeping quiet, thinking I wasn't being true to myself and would never be really happy; he had been right.

A few weeks later I bought the villa and lived there on and off while I spent as much time with Dad as I could until his heart condition got the better of him and now, here I was - alone, relieved to be uninterrupted and in peace, still single most of the time, but always missing something...someone. I still had feelings for him.

Those feelings had never really gone away, although they had faded considerably. At least I had thought that was the case until I saw his crushed face in that picture and instantly wanted to call to find out if he was ok; I _needed_to call, only I didn't have his number any more.

I put the laptop aside and went into the house to fetch my phone, which I had left in the kitchen. I still had Leah's number in there somewhere and I knew that hadn't changed. She hadn't managed me, but I'd had dealings with her through my own publicist before we made 'The Last Train' and talked to her directly quite a bit. We had gotten along well. It was still early, but I called her number anyway and she answered almost immediately.

"Who the hell is this? Do you know what time it is?"

"Shit. I'm sorry, Leah, it's Jacob Black," I groaned.

"You do realise you're three hours ahead of me."

"Yeah. I wasn't thinking. I'll call back."

"It's alright," she said more calmly. "I'm up. I run on the beach at six-thirty, most days. Why are you calling?"

"I wondered how much of the current news is true. You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm hardly going to gossip, am I?"

"Most of it's true for once, not that my little shit of a brother wants to stick to that. If it were down to him, Bella would be pregnant with Sam Uley's twins and Edward would have taken an overdose."

"He hasn't, has he?" I gasped in alarm.

"No. He's keeping his head down, avoiding saying anything."

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"Can I ask why you care?"

"We were close at one time, you know. Until I left."

"He told me," Leah said with a sigh. "And no, he's not ok. He's broken and embarrassed and Cullen Senior is doing his usual thing, dictating the best way to deal with it."

"Which is?"

"The tramp's tight with both of them. She's swearing it was one kiss and nothing more; co-stars thrown together while she's missing her sweetheart type of thing. They think Edward should overlook it to save face and make it blow over quicker."

"What the fuck?" I gasped.

"Yeah, there you go. I know you knew them pretty well, but it's even more about the image than it used to be. They don't give a shit how Edward feels about it, only what it looks like."

"Should I call him?" I asked.

"I wish you would. I think I must be the only one supporting him right now, except for millions of fans who all think they can step into Bella's shoes. Maybe don't call at six in the morning, though, ok? Hold on, I'll get his number."

I heard the click of the call being put on hold and I grabbed a pen quickly, scrawling the number she reeled off a moment later on the edge of the newspaper. She gave me an email address as well and went on to tell me that Edward was currently at home and staying there, while Bella was back in LA in a hotel trying to do some damage limitation, although he was refusing her calls so far.

"Between you and me, this has been a long time coming," Leah said wrily. "I never liked that gold-digging little bitch."

"You know, I always wished I hired you to look after my interests," I said with a grin before I ended the call.

I waited until eleven-thirty before I tried calling and the morning crawled by. Oscar returned with my car, new tyres on and several bags of groceries in his hands. He put the things away and then set about tending the yard and cleaning the house windows. He would find things to do all day if I didn't have enough to keep him occupied, reasoning that the amount I paid him was far too much for him to go home at lunch time.

I had already saved Edward's new number in my phone and stupidly my mouth was dry when I punched the call button. Thirty-seven years old and I felt like a nervous teenager calling for a date. I counted six rings and then the answer service kicked in. An electronic-sounding recorded voice indicated that a message could be left after the tone, not actually stating whose phone it was, but I knew it was the right number. A lot of the stars I had rubbed shoulders with had anonymous phone messages; not that it usually put anybody off.

"Edward, this is Jacob." I paused and then add, "Black". Five years; I wondered if he would even recognise my voice.

"I talked to Leah," I continued, but kept it short. "Maybe you don't want to hear from me, but if you do want somebody to talk to, give me a call any time you want." I finished by reciting my landline and cellphone numbers, then hung up and returned to my laptop, deciding to send him an email as well.

_'Edward,_

_'I left a message on your phone, but I guess I wanted to write as well. I realise this is pretty out of the blue, but I wanted to let you know I'm still here if you need somebody to talk to. I talked to Leah and she thought it'd be a good idea._

_'I'm sorry about what happened, but if I can do anything, if you want somewhere to hide out or just a friend, let me know._

_'Jacob.'_

I added my phone numbers to the bottom of the mail in case he didn't listen to the phone message and then clicked 'send.' Now all I could do was wait and hope he would get in touch.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

**Edward's POV**

I hadn't spoken to anyone in almost a week other than Leah and my housekeeper. Dear Bridget looked at me with sympathy and had clearly seen the press, but she never said a word, only went about her work the same as always. Leah had gotten me a new phone and so far she was the only one with the number, so I talked to her when I felt like it and ignored my existing cell and the landline. My answer machine was already full of messages and so far I hadn't listened to them.

I wasn't really sure how to proceed or what I wanted and I needed time to think about it, but everyone around me had been trying to pressure me into doing _something._ I had visited my parents and despite knowing they would want to try to calm things down for the sake of publicity, I had been shocked when they suggested Bella's kiss with Sam really had only been a momentary lapse and that my best course of action would be to move past it. If I ignored it, the press would get bored and move on to something else. Mom and Dad were less caring about how unhappy I was than how it looked and I was at first surprised and hurt and then just pissed. It was the same as anything I did - they supported me while I was heading smoothly down the path they had carved out for me, but the minute I took a step off to one side or the other, their response was of disappointment which invariably made me feel guilty.

In my opinion, Bella had only made things worse by talking to the press. She released an official statement, apologising for her actions and explaining that it hadn't meant anything and that it had in fact only been one kiss, which she sincerely regretted. She apologised for hurting me and said that she loved me and she then apologised to her fans and mine for behaving so badly and letting everybody down. I was infuriated. It had been just one photograph and a speculation, but now the whole world knew our business and I just wanted to hide away from it all.

Bella had managed to take some time out of filming two days after I called her and had arrived on the doorstep in tears, bombarding me with apologises and promises that I could trust her. She left a crowd of paparazzi at the gate and began her tirade of begging and crying while Bridget was working in the kitchen and only succeeded in making me feel worse. I told her more than once that I needed time alone and that forcing me into a corner was not going to help the situation. I was hurt and embarrassed and when she tried to wrap her arms around me and remind me how much we loved each other, it was the last straw. I asked her to leave, which she did, sobbing loudly enough for the press to hear her from the gate.

I felt completely wretched and as much as I struggled not to keep breaking down, I invariably woke with my pillow wet from my tears and my heart aching. I wanted to just ignore it all and forget it had ever happened the way Mom and Dad suggested; to go back to how things had been before, but every time I tried to picture us the way we had been, all I could see was Bella in Sam Uley's arms. I didn't know whether I could trust her or not. Had it really been only one kiss that meant nothing, or was it more to her? Had she slept with him? Did she have feelings for him? I couldn't stop thinking about it all, however hard I tried to give myself some peace. For the thousandth time I wished I was just a normal guy living a normal life where nobody knew me. Every move I made was broadcast and even if Bella hadn't made that statement, I knew that every paper and website would be talking about us and making up their own stories.

The landline telephone rang for the fourteenth time since I had crawled out of bed and the answer machine beeped impatiently, unable to take any more messages. I waited for it to stop and then pressed the 'delete' button, wiping the entire system before I unplugged the offending machine from the wall. My old cellphone battery had long since run out of power and finally I had silence. Leah was still able to reach me on the new phone and she was the only one I wanted to talk to. She called me that afternoon.

"Hey," I answered quietly.

"How are you feeling?"

"You need to ask?"

"No. This won't help either. Your Dad called me; they're pissed because they can't get in touch with you."

"Figures," I muttered.

"I'm not asking you to call them, I'm just passing the message on. He mentioned the scripts as well; something about the deadline for the Josh Lambert movie being tomorrow."

"I'm not doing the Josh Lambert movie," I said. It was one of the three Dad had highlighted, and the least appealing at that.

"You made a decision?"

"No, not yet. I'll let you know when I do."

"Edward, this is just my opinion, but I think you should do something for yourself. You don't owe them anything, you know. You've done what they wanted for twenty years except for that one time."

"I know." I hadn't actually thought very much about the movies at all. The scripts still sat in a pile on the table where I had left them and I hadn't looked at them since I saw that fateful photograph. I was sorely tempted to just throw away the lot and announce that I was taking a break, but I knew I would only sit at home wallowing and continuing to hide from the outside world. I would be better working.

"Edward, did you listen to your phone messages at all?" Leah asked then.

"No, I deleted them."

"Jacob Black called me, the day after the photo was in the papers. I forgot to tell you with everything else that's been going on."

"Why would he call?" My mouth went dry and my heart jumped, even after all this time. I hadn't thought about him much in months and I had assumed that by now he had forgotten me. He had left his life behind, the country included, and had lived permanently in the Caribbean for the past three years.

"He saw the picture; he was worried about you. I gave him your number and email. I'm sorry if that was wrong."

"No...it's ok, Leah." I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out the breath I had been holding. "I'm just surprised, that's all."

When I ended the call, I hesitated a little while before curiosity made me switch on my laptop to check my emails. If Jacob had called me and left a message, I had lost it, but maybe he emailed too. How did I feel about hearing from him after so long?

I thought about the last time I had seen him - well the last time we had any proper contact. We had been thrown together during the promotions for 'The Last Train' and at the premier, but we hadn't really talked, it was too awkward. It had been after the wrap party when it had all gone wrong; when I'd gotten the wrong idea about the way he'd treated me when we spent time together in between filming. We had fun; we talked, laughed, shared ideas we had for our futures. It had been the happiest six months of my life up to that point. The only thing he hadn't told me then was that he planned to quit acting and come out in front of the world and when he'd done it in a press conference, I'd been shocked and upset. I hadn't been anywhere near as upset as when he had rejected me, however.

I had been so young and inexperienced then. Most twenty-year-old guys had probably had several girlfriends, or boyfriends by that age, but I had only casually dated a few girls thrust upon me by my parents. I had imagined that since he kissed me on my eighteenth birthday, he must have had feelings for me and that two years later, when we spent so much time together, it seemed to me that maybe he still felt like that. I hadn't even thought to question my sexuality then. I knew I liked girls, but at the same time I knew I liked Jacob. It had only ever been him; I'd never had any interest in other guys, but then I hadn't paid any attention to them either. It had gone from hero-worship in my childhood and early teens, to attraction and desire from about sixteen and when he kissed me, I fell. Having my parents find out and ban me from seeing any more of him had crushed me.

I logged into my email account and watched as the screen scrolled automatically, loading over four hundred messages and I swore under my breath. The last thing I wanted to do was sort through all of those when most of them would be fan mail or junk, but I did it anyway, starting from the most recent. Every so often there would be another email from Bella and I moved these into a file, not wanting to just delete them, but not wanting to have to read any more of her begging and apologising yet. Mom had sent one just this morning and I opened this reluctantly.

_'Edward, we'd like you to come over for dinner tonight.'_

I didn't read the rest of the message, but closed it again and carried on looking. They would want to spend the evening talking about Bella and the press and my next project and it was the last thing I wanted. I knew I would probably go regardless, just to avoid my mother's disappointment the next day; after all, I'd been avoiding talking to them for days.

It took me several minutes of scanning through the endless stream of emails before I came to one from an address that began with 'jeb1975' and guessed it had to be Jacob and suddenly I realised I was keen to hear from him. It had been a long time and any residual awkwardness would be long gone. I clicked on the message.

_'Edward,_

_'I left a message on your phone, but I guess I wanted to write as well. I realise this is pretty out of the blue, but I wanted to let you know I'm still here if you need somebody to talk to. I talked to Leah and she thought it'd be a good idea._

_'I'm sorry about what happened, but if I can do anything, if you want somewhere to hide out or just a friend, let me know._

_'Jacob.'_

It was short and to the point, but it was an offer that I realised I needed at that moment; a friend who would be on my side, who was far enough removed from all of this to look at it objectively. Leah was amazing, but she couldn't focus all of her attention on me. She had other clients; she couldn't just hang out with me, give me her company and time and put our world aside. I read the message for a second time and then keyed the two numbers at the bottom into my new phone. I didn't answer the email, but I knew I would get in touch with him, maybe later or tomorrow.

I had Marcus, my driver, take me to my parents' house in the early evening. I knew they would assume I would be there, even though I hadn't answered, but I hadn't been prepared for the additional guest they had invited. Despite their advice that I should accept Bella's apology and put things behind us, I really hadn't imagined they would force me to come face to face with her, but there she was, sitting on the couch in the main living room, smiling apologetically as I was ushered into the room. My heart raced and plummeted at the same time and I froze in the doorway.

"Edward, we thought this would be the perfect opportunity for you two to sort things out," Mom said, pressing me forward. "Bella managed to take a couple of days out of filming to come to see you, so we'll give you some time to chat. Dinner will be a while yet." She backed out of the room again and closed the door.

"Edward..." Bella jumped to her feet. "Please, don't be mad. Your parents are only trying to help. We just need to talk. If you'll let me explain..."

"You explained when you came home before," I said. "I've told you I need some time."

"But this is only making things worse."

"I'm sorry, but that's not my doing," I responded stiffly. "You got caught and then you added to it with that drama at the house."

"I'm sorry about that, I was just so upset," she sighed.

"Don't you think I'm upset? Don't you think I deserve what I've asked for? I don't know what to do right now and constantly being hounded about it by you and my parents and the damned press isn't helping. I said I'd talk to you when I'm ready."

"I know, I'm sorry," she said again. "I just...I love you so much and I can't stand this, not knowing. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on work...that's why they gave me the time off. I'm hopeless right now."

"Don't try to make me feel sorry for you," I frowned. "I'm the one who's been hurt here and I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm just asking you to let me work out how I feel."

"I just want to know that there's a chance we can work this out. I'm hoping that you can forgive me. I know I've already said it, but it meant nothing. I don't even know what happened, I just..."

"Did you sleep with him?" I interrupted. I hadn't been able to bring myself to ask the question before. She had said it was just a kiss and I'd wanted so much to believe her that I kept my mouth shut, but I was always going to wonder. Now I watched as she lowered her eyes and flushed uncomfortably, chewing her lip.

"Edward..."

"Please, just tell me yes or no."

"Yes. I'm so sorry." Her voice shook and tears spilled over, smearing her mascara. "I've barely even spoken to him since apart from on set. I'm so ashamed, Edward, I...I..." She sniffed hard. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You're everything to me and I just hate myself right now for what I've done."

I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. It hadn't just been a kiss; he had touched her, made love to her, maybe spent the night wrapped around her the way I did. She was no longer mine and I was even more hurt, more sickened than when I'd seen that picture in the paper. She had not only cheated, but blatantly lied by saying it was only a kiss.

"How could you do that to me?!" I shouted suddenly.

"It was a stupid mistake..."

"One that I wouldn't make. It wouldn't matter how many co-stars I had throwing themselves at me or trying to seduce me! I love you and that means I'm loyal, I wouldn't dream of doing anything that would hurt you and it wouldn't matter what the circumstances were! If I'm with you, I'm yours and that's all there is to it! Do you think I can just forget about this? Forget that somebody else _fucked _you?"

Bella's eyes widened and then she covered them with her hands and began to sob. A moment later the door opened and my parents came in and I retreated to the far end of the room, grinding my teeth together and clenching my fists. I still couldn't really believe they had forced me to deal with this right now, in their house.

"Edward, there's no need to shout," Mom was saying.

"There's every need to shout!" I snapped. "Did she tell you what actually happened, or is she still pretending it was only a kiss? I don't deserve any of this. I behave like a decent human being and I try to be the dutiful son, do what you want - do either of you...?" I glanced from Mom to Dad and back again. "Do either of you ever wonder what I might want for myself?"

"We thought you were happy, Edward," Dad said. "You can have anything you want; you have a life most people can only dream of."

"I have a life you chose for me and I've always accepted it and done what you asked of me, but it doesn't make me happy most of the time. The only thing that did make me happy was Bella." I glanced at her again, sniffling and gazing at me pleadingly.

"Dad, how would you feel if Mom treated you like that, huh? Slept with a co-star? Got caught by the press and had the whole thing blow up into the biggest news item this year?"

"Bella, you said it was just a kiss..." I heard Mom say with some dismay.

"It wasn't just a kiss. Now, I've said I need some time alone to think about what I want to do and all of you have constantly forced me into communicating when I'm not ready to. I'm going home and I won't be in touch until I _am _ready."

"I'm sorry, Edward." Mom came to my side then and wrapped her hands around my arm, giving it a squeeze. "We really didn't know you felt like this; about everything, I mean."

"Would it have made any difference if you had? You and Dad have always wanted a certain image to be portrayed, even now, with all this going on it's more important to you than the fact that I feel like shi - I feel terrible."

"I think it's probably best if I go," Bella said in a small voice. "I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Cullen. I made a stupid, unforgivable mistake. I love Edward and I want more than anything to work this out, but I'll wait for him to get in touch with me. Edward...I'll go back to Vancouver in the morning to finish the movie. I hope you'll call me and that somehow you'll be able to forgive me."

"I'll call, I just need time," I said numbly.

"Thank you, Edward."

She picked up her coat and bag and left the room and I found I sagged with relief. The suspicions I had tried not to have had been confirmed and I couldn't bear to look at her, knowing she had slept with Sam. I wanted nothing more than to go home, take some sleeping pills and fall into bed.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I'm going to have to give dinner a miss," I said quietly. "I need to go home."

"Alright, honey."

"Edward..." Dad spoke up, his expression one of discomfort, no doubt brought on by my outburst and the realisation that Bella wasn't quite the angel he thought she was. "I'd appreciate it if you would pick one of the movies and get a contract signed, before it's too late. If you just send me a message to let me know which one, or tell Leah, you can forget it for a few weeks until filming starts."

I sighed heavily and nodded. "I'll deal with it when I get home."

I left ten minutes later and rode home in the back of the car in silence. Marcus didn't speak and I guessed he must have seen Bella leave and assumed I wanted to be left alone. He was as good as Bridget in that regard. He was well aware of the situation, but he said nothing, as if it were about as important as the choice of suit I made for a public appearance.

When I walked into the house, I switched on the downstairs lights and sat on the couch, eyeing the pile of scripts with distaste. If only I could just be like Jacob and have Leah set up a press conference, at which I would announce I didn't intend to act again. The idea sent a little thrill through me, but at the same time a feeling of dread. It would be a rash decision, a result only of my current pain and embarrassment and I wasn't sure I had the courage to do something like that anyway. I dismissed it quickly and picked up 'The Chains That Bind Us' from the top of the pile. The director was an unknown named Rosalie Hale and I knew she had actually co-written the story as well. That would give the press something to talk about and I couldn't help a small smile as I imagined the headlines.

_'Superstar Edward Cullen takes lead role with unknown director.'_

Rosalie would probably rocket to stardom, my fans would be intrigued and my parents and Bella would hate it. I picked up the phone. I was in a similar frame of mind to when I had signed up for 'The Last Train', only this time I knew there was an element of spite in there as well as determination.

"Hey, Edward," Leah answered. "How did it go?"

"Don't ask. They invited Bella too," I said.

"That's pretty harsh."

"She admitted she slept with him," I added bitterly.

"Fuck, Edward, I'm sorry. I'm not even going to ask. I'm guessing you don't want to discuss it."

"No. I'm just calling to tell you I made a decision on the movie. I want you to get me the contract over here first thing tomorrow."

"Which one? Something tells me it won't be one of Daddy's choices."

"The Chains That Bind Us," I said.

"Rose Hale's debut?" Leah sounded surprised. "You did read it, right?"

"Of course I read it," I lied. All I had read was half of the first paragraph in the summary. I knew my character was named Martin Fuller and that he rebelled against his rich family of lawyers, but that was all.

"Fair enough. I'll drop by in the morning. When are you going to tell the parents?"

"I don't know, in a day or two I guess. Do you know who else will be involved in it?"

"To be honest, I didn't think it would be something you'd go for," Leah said. "I don't know anything other than what I read about Rosalie. I can find out if they signed a co-star, but they're probably waiting to see if you say yes before they do anything. They're going to get a shock when they see your signature on the contract."

"A pleasant surprise, I would hope," I said wrily.

"Undoubtedly. I'll see you in the morning."

I ended the call and gathered up the remainder of the pile of manuscripts, taking them into the kitchen to add to the pile that Bridget would put through the shredding machine next time she undertook that task. I would read the script for 'The Chains That Bind Us' over the next couple of days.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

******Edward's POV**

Leah came over at nine-thirty the next morning with the contract for the movie. She had a face like thunder after having to fight her way through a horde of journalists, including her brother, who were practically camped out at my gate after the article in the morning papers. Bella and I had both been spotted leaving my parents' home and I had only briefly scanned the front page of the Globe before I trashed it. It stated that after spending some time chatting together, Bella and I were thought to be heading for a reconciliation and that she had reluctantly returned to Vancouver to finish her movie before she moved home to be with me.

I signed the contract quickly and Leah tucked it into her briefcase. I hadn't bothered to read the document, but I knew she would already have gone over it with a fine tooth comb. She promised to let me know as soon as she found out who I would be starring opposite and then left for a meeting with Rosalie Hale's office.

Bridget had finished cleaning the main lounge and I took a fresh cup of coffee, closed the door and sprawled out on the couch to read the manuscript. I had never signed anything before without discovering what I was letting myself in for, but just the first sentence of the summary had caught my attention. I had felt like I could identify with the character and now I flipped the first two pages to the beginning of the dialogue without continuing to read the introduction.

The first few pages weren't particularly interesting, but they set the scene. Martin Fuller working in his New York office, stressed over the number of clients that had been given to him, pressured by his father to do a good job, to not let down the family name, to do as he was expected to do and portray the right image. I smiled to myself; it could have been written about me.

Martin's girlfriend, Elizabeth, was very like his mother - materialistic, image-conscious and keen to get a ring on her finger at the earliest opportunity. More pressure for Martin, who wasn't really feeling the relationship. His parents had introduced him to the girl and he had dated her to please them, rather than because he wanted to. He longed for something else - something different.

Here a flashback was to be inserted into the movie, Martin's character being played by another actor. He would appear as a sixteen-year-old studying with a school friend, laughingly talking about girls, tentatively talking about guys, kissing...

"Shit," I muttered.

I could feel my face warming just from reading the script. I bit my lip and frowned, wondering just what I had gotten myself into. Obviously it was going to end up with Martin deciding he was gay and going against his family in order to be happy and this didn't really bother me. I was an actor - we had to pretend to be somebody we weren't, but I seemed to do that a lot in my real life and this movie had too many parallels with what I was going through for me to feel comfortable with it. Reading the scene between the boy and his friend brought back my eighteenth birthday party - seven years ago, but it could have been yesterday from how clearly I remembered it.

___I loathed parties, but my parents had invited the usual bunch, including various 'suitable' young girls that they hoped I would show an interest in and as usual Mom had picked out what she thought I should wear to make myself look the most attractive. I hated the whole thing and after playing the polite host for as long as I could manage, I had gone to my room to escape the noisy crowd for a few minutes. Jacob Black had been at the party too and he appeared in the doorway a minute later, pushing the almost closed door wider._

___"What are you hiding up here for?" he asked me._

___"I could say the same to you."_

___"I went to the bathroom; someone's in the downstairs one."_

___"You didn't bring me a gift," I teased cheekily and watch him grin and produce a cube-shaped wrapped box from behind his back. "Why didn't you give it to me earlier?"_

_"It's kind of similar to what your parents bought; I didn't want to piss them off." He winked and passed me the box, which I unwrapped and opened quickly to find a beautiful Omega wristwatch inside. It was subtle, not too chunky, much nicer than the Rolex I had received earlier. I knew immediately I would keep it for special occasions._

___"I love it, Jacob, thank you!"_

___I put the watch under my pillow and automatically went to give him a hug. My heart was racing as he hugged me back and then our lips touched; a brief caress before he pulled back an inch and hesitated. A small gasp left me and then he repeated the small kiss, his lips clinging a little longer, teasing mine apart to admit the tip of his tongue. I heard myself moan into the kiss and I clutched at his back, praying that he wouldn't stop or let go. I had had a few brief kisses with various girls in the past couple of years, but nothing like this. My heart banged against my ribs, heat filled me and my cock began to swell inside my pants, pushing upright and nudging against Jacob's thigh. I had dreamed of that moment, so many times; imagined that the looks he gave me meant more than they did; hoped that one day he might get closer to me, hold me in his arms, kiss me the way he was doing now._

___Jacob moved suddenly, leaning back against my bedroom wall, manoeuvring me so that my feet rested between his, our hips flush and I realised that he was as hard as I was and I moaned again at the feel of it. His thick shaft rubbed against mine through our clothes and I whimpered helplessly as his tongue thrust deeper into my mouth and the fingers of one hand raked through my hair. I had never felt like this, never wanted anything so much and I responded almost desperately to his mouth devouring mine until I could no longer draw in enough air through my nose and was forced to break it. My hot cheek rested against his and I leaned there, panting and hoping I wasn't going to disgrace myself by coming in my pants. I was so close, my cock leaking into my shorts, my balls tight against my body. Jacob's lips touched my ear and his strong arms tightened just a little. I gyrated my hips slightly, afraid to be too obvious, but desperate for just a little more friction._

___"Edward..."_

___It was all he said, but his soft, deep voice seemed to purr into my ear, his breath warm and I lost control of myself. I groaned in both pleasure and embarrassment as cum exploded from my throbbing cock into my shorts and Jacob chuckled softly, one hand stroking up and down my back and his lips planting another brief kiss on my burning cheek as he drew his head back to look at me._

___"You're so beautiful, you know that?"_

___"Jake..." I sounded breathy, husky, my shorts were soaked and sticky and I could still feel his erection nudging me._

___"Jacob Black! What the hell is going on here?" My mother's shrill voice came from the door and I jerked away from him in horror, thrusting my hands into my pockets to cover up the fact that I was still half erect._

"Fuck," I muttered.

It had been so long ago, but I could feel his breath in my ear, his heart pounding in his chest in time with mine, his hard, muscular body and his warm, strong hands. It had been the only time and I had longed for more, but I never saw him again until we made 'The Last Train'. I had dreamed, prayed that he would find a way around my parents to get to me, that he would tell me he wanted to see me, that he wanted us to be together, but he never did; not even after we finished the movie when I went to his room, imagining that it would give him the chance he had been waiting for, only to have to walk away and go home with my parents, knowing that he didn't want me after all. I had to accept that I had been wrong all along and that my birthday had just been a snatched moment that didn't mean anything. He had been thirty years old then - what would he have wanted with a kid like me anyway?

I reluctantly turned my attention back to the manuscript and continued reading. Martin met another young lawyer, Steven, who worked for a rival firm, an aggressive, intimidating character whom he initially disliked, until Martin decided to do something about the life he hated, breaking up with Elizabeth and venturing into a gay club. He was mortified to find Steven in there, drinking at the bar, but the pair talked and got over their differences. The rest of the story was their romance, Martin fighting with his parents, telling them he needed to live his own life and eventually admitting he wanted to be with another man.

So much of it was similar to my own life that the idea now horrified me. I wasn't about to fall into the arms of a guy and turn my back on my parents, but many of the sentiments were the same and I could just see the papers when the movie was released, comparing me to Martin, considering whether I might have gotten into character so much that I would do the same thing, maybe fall into the arms of my co-star. Jacob was the only man I had ever kissed and having to do it on set with cameras in my face, with somebody else would be impossible. I always found love scenes difficult anyway and struggled to overcome my embarrassment in front of the cameras and crew. I had shared kisses with various co-stars, but Bella had been the only one it had gone further with. The script in my hands indicated that things would get pretty heated between Martin and Steven and I couldn't imagine being able to pull off a scene like that without wishing the floor would open up and swallow me.

"God," I groaned. "I can't do this."

I picked up my phone and called Leah, catching her in her car.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked. "I just left Rosalie's office. They start filming in about six weeks."

"Um...I...I...do you know who my co-star is?" I asked. It was too late; I was in the movie whether I liked it or not and I was just going to have to deal with it, however difficult I might find it to control my emotions and get through the love scene. Dad probably could have gotten me out of it, but then I'd feel and look a complete fool and would only have proved my parents right in that I wasn't capable of choosing suitable roles for myself.

"Paul Lahote."

I groaned audibly. Paul had played a cop in 'The Last Train', a minor part, his time on-screen probably amounting to no more than five minutes. He had only ever had small roles and he made no secret of the fact that he didn't like me. Ironically what I had I wasn't happy with, while he was jealous and wanted the fame and fortune, the fans, the paparazzi chasing him. He resented me for having been born into Hollywood while he struggled through drama school, working all hours to pay for his fees.

"Do you know who else is in it?" I asked with a sigh.

"Charlie Swan's playing your father. Jasper Whitlock's going to be the friend that you confide in."

These two at least made me feel marginally better. I had known Charlie since I was a kid and he had been one of those stars I called 'Uncle' when he spent time at our house. He was close to my parents, but at the same time he was a completely different character to them; he took what came and he dealt with everything in a relaxed and unhurried fashion. Coincidentally he actually was Bella's uncle, but had only gotten to know her properly since she and I got together, due to some feud between him and her father. Her father had died two years ago and she and Charlie had made up for lost time since.

Jasper had actually been quite close to me when I was younger. He had been born into it as I had and we had been in a few of the same movies in our teens, studying together on set for our exams. I hadn't talked to him much in a few years, but not for any reason other than we had drifted off in different directions. He had developed an interest in being a musician and for a while this had taken precedence in his life, although he usually took a small part in one or two movies each year.

"Can you get me Jasper's number?" I asked. "It'd be good to catch up with him."

"Sure, I'll send you it later," Leah agreed at once.

She was as good as her word and in fact gave Jasper my number too; he called me before I had chance to get in touch with him and I answered the call since very few people had my new number yet. I had reluctantly given it to my parents, Bridget and Marcus, but so far that was all.

I talked to Jasper for an hour and it was almost as if we had never lost touch. We had a good enough idea of what each other had been doing and he was delighted to find out that we would be acting together again. Despite my reluctance to show myself in public, I found myself agreeing to spend the evening with him at a small private club I had been to once with Bella. I knew I would be seen arriving or leaving, or both, and my face would be in the papers again the next morning, but for once I didn't really care. They were going to write something about me anyway, whether they saw me or not.

I met Jasper inside and we took a small booth with wide leather seats and a glass table on the mezzanine above the dancefloor. The music wasn't so loud that we couldn't talk properly and a waiter brought drinks whenever one of us raised a hand. I was surprised when I actually began to enjoy myself, chatting to my old friend and sharing vodka cocktails, each one more garish and peculiar than the last. I didn't drink all that often and it didn't take many before I began to feel light-headed, my tongue loosening and a smile creeping across my face, despite my inner anguish.

"I'm not gonna ask, but you can tell me what's been going on if you want," Jasper said eventually. He hadn't mentioned Bella so far, but my recent publicity seemed to be hanging over us until one of us mentioned it.

"You mean is it true?" I shrugged and took another sip of my drink. "She tried to make out it was just that kiss, but it turned out to me more than that."

"How are you?"

"How do you think I am? I was probably going to marry her one day."

"I'm sorry, Ed."

"My parents aren't helping. They think I should forgive her. At least they did before they found out she slept with him; I'm not sure any more."

"It doesn't matter what they think," Jasper said. "What do you think? Will you be able to trust her again? Do you want to?"

"I don't know. I keep thinking it might not be the first time and she's back there in Vancouver again now - are they really staying away from each other?"

"You're never gonna know for sure. You either have to decide you can trust her, or make a clean break. Might be a good idea to take some time out, away from all of this shit and think about it."

I nodded. "I was thinking of doing that." It reminded me that I still hadn't answered Jacob's email. He had offered a place to hide out if I needed it and maybe that would be a good idea; to get away completely for a few days.

We changed the subject after a while and by the time we were ready to leave the club, it was almost two o'clock. I hadn't felt so relaxed in a long time and I promised to keep in touch with Jasper in the future, before and after the movie. I didn't actually have anyone I could call a friend with the exception of Leah, and I felt a little better about everything for having talked to him.

I wasn't surprised to find a small group of press lurking outside when we left the club. Jasper had arrived in a cab, but Marcus was waiting for me in one of my many cars and I offered my friend a ride home. As we walked to the car, the photographers closed in on us and Seth Clearwater approached with a dictophone in his hand.

"Edward, had a good night? Nice to see you out! Will you give us a comment on the situation with Bella? How did the meeting at your parents' house go?"

"Mind your own business," I said, pulling the car door open.

"Aww, come on, Edward, just a quick statement. Everybody wants to know how the Golden Couple are doing."

I ignored him and slid into the back seat.

"Aren't you worried about what she's doing with Sam Uley right now? Middle of the night, thousands of miles away, maybe lonely for you...or maybe she just couldn't wait to get back to him?"

"You little bastard!"

I had never let them get to me like this before. It had been repeatedly drummed into me as I grew up that in this business you had to maintain a cool exterior and ignore them, whatever they did or said to try to provoke a reaction that would make for an exciting read. If I had been sober, it probably wouldn't have bothered me and I simply would have closed the door in his face and told Marcus to get us away, but I was tipsy and angry and after talking about it to Jasper, I had faced the thought I had been avoiding for the past few days - that I would never be able to trust her again and that I would have to end it.

I lurched out of the car again and threw a punch before I could consider the consequences. The wild swing missed Seth's face, but struck him in the side of the head, probably making his ear ring and he staggered sideways, the dictophone flying from his hand onto the pavement. Flashes from the surrounding cameras immediately blinded me and Jasper sprang from the car, grabbing my arm and tugging me backwards.

"Jeez, Ed, what are you doing?"

"You'll pay for this, Cullen," Seth said, glaring at me. "Golden Boy's going to get a big shock in the morning, I can promise you that."

"Ed, get in the car." Jasper hustled me into the seat and slammed the door on me before running around the other side to get back in. "Driver, get moving, please," he said.

"Fuck," I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. My heart was racing, the sound of it thundering in my ears and I was dimly aware of the sound of screeching tyres as Marcus turned out of the street.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jasper was saying. "You're normally so...collected. Even with all of this shit..."

"I know, I just...saw red. Where's my phone?" I fished in one pocket and then another until I found it. Leah would kill me, but if anybody could limit the damage, she could.

"What the hell, Edward? It's the middle of the night!" she exclaimed a minute later.

"Leah...uh...I fucked up," I mumbled.

"Are you drunk? Please tell me you didn't do something stupid. Shit, Edward, what did you do?" She sounded worried suddenly and I groaned aloud.

"Nothing like that. Too many cocktails." I let out a small giggle and swallowed it quickly. "I hit...your brother."

"What? Where are you? What have you been doing?" she demanded.

"I went out with Jasper...Whit...um...my friend. The paps were waiting for us and I guess I was pissed...pissed ___off._So I hit him. Seth, not Jasper. I'm sorry. God, my parents are going to kill me. I'm sorry I hit him."

"Edward, I'm sure he probably deserved it, but you can't do this sort of thing. It's so unlike you."

"Yeah, I know, Leah...sorry. God, the papers are going to be full of it tomorrow."

"Was there a photographer there?"

"Several. Shit, what if he sues me? What if...?"

"Listen to me," Leah interrupted. "I can probably fix it, but you're going to have to do something you'll hate."

"Go on."

"Give one of the papers a proper story. If you make a statement about how hurt you are, how you went out to cry on a friend's shoulder and being bombarded when you came out of the club was just the last straw, you'll get the sympathy vote rather than shock that you punched him. I know you hate the Globe and their crap, but they're the biggest. Most people believe whatever they print and the rest will jump on the band wagon if it's in there."

"I suppose..." I said doubtfully. "My parents will kill me," I repeated.

"Never mind them. They'll probably kill you anyway when they find out what movie you signed for. I'm guessing you didn't tell them yet."

"No."

"Get over to my house now," Leah said. "I'll get one of the Globe guys to come over and meet with you. Bring Jasper as well if he's still with you."

"Are you sure? It's kind of late..."

"All the more reason. If we hurry up, it'll make the morning issue."

"Ok," I agreed reluctantly. "I'm on my way."

Leah had two mugs of strong coffee waiting for us when we arrived and I gulped mine, although the situation I had gotten myself into did more to sober me up than the caffeine. My palms were damp and my heart racing with nerves as I sat in front of the Globe journalist, letting my lips tremble, repeatedly blinking and dragging my hands through my hair as I talked. I blurted out disjointed statements in rapid succession, explaining how shocked and hurt I'd been to see the picture of Sam and Bella, how I felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under my feet when I realised my trust had been misplaced, how the constant pressure to respond to the press had made me want to hide away until Jasper, a co-star in my new movie, came to my rescue and offered his shoulder to cry on. I inwardly cringed as I continued with the sob story, but it was what I was good at and when the journalist left with a gleeful expression on her face, I sank back in my seat with a sigh and closed my eyes.

"I can't believe I did that," I muttered.

"You were awesome," Leah said. "It's just playing a part, Edward, don't worry about it."

"My parents will be furious."

"Don't worry about them. Get away for a few days like you planned. I'll talk to them."

"I should do it. They're going to find out which movie I picked from the Globe otherwise. Dad will go ballistic."

We left shortly after, Marcus driving Jasper home first and then me. It was almost five o'clock before I fell into bed and then I didn't sleep; I simply lay there counting off the minutes until I could call my parents to try to beat the newspaper in telling them what I'd done.

It was my mother that I spoke to. Dad was taking an early morning swim and for that I was grateful. I explained what had happened as briefly as possible and warned her that the Globe would be carrying my side of the story. Predictably she was horrified by my having gone out in the first place and been goaded into actually hitting a journalist, but when I told her about the Rosalie Hale movie, her tone changed to that of sadness and disappointment - the very attitude that always made me feel guilty.

"Dad's going to be very upset," she sighed. "We so hoped you would choose the Josh Lambert picture."

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's time I made my own choices," I said firmly. "It's signed, sealed and in the paper now so it's too late."

I didn't tell her I intended to leave town for a little while, but when I hung up, I switched on the laptop and quickly searched for flights to Bridgetown. It seemed meant that I should go there when I found available first class seats on a noon flight and I purchased one before I could think about it enough to talk myself out of it. My hands shook as I packed a small piece of luggage with casual clothes and toiletries, added the manuscript for the movie so I could try learning some of the lines if I could relax enough, grabbed the copy of the Globe which Bridget had brought in for me and called Marcus to take me to the airport. I put wallet, passport, keys and phone into my pockets and then I was ready.

When Dad tried calling me just as I was heading out the door, I didn't answer. I had already sent Leah a text to tell her what I was doing and I had decided to call my parents again when I reached my destination. Now I threw my bag into the back of the car and climbed in after it. I felt like a fugitive running away from danger and I clenched my fists in my lap, my heart pounding and my stomach in a knot as I left my home behind and headed for the airport.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

**Jacob's POV**

A week had passed since I called and emailed Edward and I had heard nothing from him. I was disappointed and wondered if even after all this time, he felt uncomfortable about talking to me or perhaps was so tied up in the daily dramas he was having to deal with that he hadn't had time to contact me. On the other hand, he may not have checked his messages.

As usual, I switched on my laptop while I drank my morning coffee and looked at my emails and the news. I was later than usual today. My muse had kept me up until the early hours of the morning writing and I hadn't risen until ten when Oscar had already been working in the yard for two hours, reluctant to enter the house and disturb me when he observed that my bedroom blinds were still drawn.

The latest online edition of the Globe was available to view and I opened it up, waiting to see what stories they would have about the Edward and Bella situation today. Predictably it was the main article on the page and my eyes widened as I read the heading.

_'Edward Cullen Speaks Out.'_

Edward never talked to the press unless he was forced to; he never had. He undertook the necessary press conferences and promotional interviews for his movies and the rest of the time he kept his mouth shut and didn't respond to anything the papers said, whether it was good or bad. I scrolled down and began reading.

_'Yesterday evening, Edward Cullen was spotted out at the Twilight Lounge in LA with new co-star, Jasper Whitlock. The pair have recently signed up for unknown director, Rosalie Hale's debut, 'The Chains That Bind Us', also starring Paul Lahote in the supporting role opposite Edward._

_'Edward and Jasper, who have been friends since childhood, spent several hours catching up over cocktails before leaving together at approximately two o'clock.'_

I put my coffee mug down with a thump on the table, slopping the contents over the side as I read that Edward had been harassed by journalist, Seth Clearwater from 'Stars Weekly' and responded by punching him in the side of the head. Below this was a photograph of Jasper Whitlock pulling Edward away from Seth, who was looking furious and clutching his ear.

"Holy shit!" I sucked my breath in, frowning at the screen. Edward never behaved like that; he must be at the end of his tether after all the garbage that had been written about him lately, not to mention Bella's treatment of him and his parents' attitudes. I read on.

_'Our top journalist, Cynthia Watkins, was able to talk to both Edward and Jasper after the incident and she succeeded in persuading Edward to finally discuss his feelings on his estranged girlfriend, Bella Swan and her recent indiscretion with co-star Sam Uley.'_

Most of the remainder of the article was Edward's words, with a comment from Jasper at the bottom and I guessed immediately that Leah had set this up to take the wind out of Seth's sails and garner sympathy with the public. No one would give two hoots that Edward had hit the journalist when they read about the star's anguish and heartbreak. Another picture was inserted close to the end, showing Edward sitting on someone's couch, head down, one hand over his mouth, looking as if he might burst into tears at any moment.

"Well done," I said under my breath.

I couldn't help smiling as I read over the article again. I would have been willing to bet that Edward's parents hadn't been informed he was going to do the interview and I wondered about the movie too. Carlisle wouldn't let him get involved in a debut unless it was a director who was already well-known in other fields and I had never heard of Rosalie Hale. I looked her up, discovering that she was predominantly a writer, although she had studied film and media at university. She was thirty years old and had co-written 'The Chains That Bind Us' with a reasonably well-known playwright.

I spent another hour looking at other news websites, unable to suppress a few chuckles as I saw the photograph of Edward, Jasper and Seth over and over again, with various descriptions ranging from Edward being drunk and disorderly, to him actively attacking Seth for simply being in his way when he walked to his car. Already countless public responses had been entered on the sites, haranguing the newspapers for printing lies about Edward when the Globe had published the actual story in Edward's own words. I imagined those papers were now trying to get in touch with Leah to demand Edward speak to them too while their journalists rewrote the evening's events as best they could.

I spent the rest of the day writing, or trying to write and retired early to catch up on the previous night's shortage of sleep. My head hit the pillow at eleven o'clock and immediately I was comatose. I didn't move a muscle until seven in the morning when I was disturbed by my cellphone ringing, the vibrate function causing it to shuffle impatiently across the surface of the bed table until I reached out and picked it up. I answered without checking the caller ID, still struggling to open my eyes and suppress a yawn.

"Hello?"

"Jacob?"

"Yeah."

"It's...um...it's Edward Cullen. I...I'm sorry to call so early."

I sat bolt upright, instantly awake, my pulse quickening. At last!

"Hey, I was hoping you'd call," I said, hoping I sounded calmer than I felt. "I guess you got my message?"

"I got your email, yes. Um...I was wondering...you said if I wanted somewhere to hide out..." He stopped and coughed. "Look, I know this is really sudden..."

"No, it's not, I asked you to call or visit, whatever you want," I said at once. "Do you want to come see me?"

"The thing is...I'm kind of...shit...maybe I should have called before," he stammered.

I could picture him clutching the phone nervously, dragging his free hand through his wild hair, biting his lip, a blush creeping over his cheeks until his whole face was suffused with colour. I could hear an electronic announcement in the background and realised with surprise that he was at an airport.

"Edward, where are you?" I asked.

"Um...Bridgetown."

"You're here already?"

"Sorry...if it's not convenient...maybe I should go back...uh..."

My heart went out to him. We had been so close once and I had spoiled everything, first of all by not being able to keep my hands to myself when he was barely an adult and then by rejecting him, thinking I was doing him a favour.

"Don't you dare," I said at once. "My guy that works for me will be here soon; I'm gonna send him to collect you. Get yourself a coffee or something. He'll know what you look like, but he's a Barbadian guy named Oscar, about my height, greying hair, in his sixties, driving a red Dodge truck."

"Are you sure this is ok?" Edward said, sounding relieved.

"Positive. I'm really glad you came."

I waited impatiently for Oscar to arrive, pacing around and repeatedly glancing at the clock. I would have gone to the airport myself, but I imagined plenty of people would already have spotted Edward and seeing me arrive to collect him would only prompt more questions about what he was doing. I went into my guest room, realising it wasn't ready and quickly made up the bed with fresh linen and opened the window to let out the slight dusty smell. Oscar arrived thirty minutes early as he often did and I hurried out to meet him before he got out of his truck.

"Good morning, Mr Black," he beamed.

"Morning, Oscar. I need you to go to the airport for me to collect a guest," I said quickly. "He called a little while back."

"What does he look like?" the old man asked.

"You'll probably recognise him. It's Edward Cullen."

"Ah, he a friend of yours?"

"Yes, it's a long time since I saw him though," I told him.

"Poor boy coming here to hide from the media for a while, is he?"

"Something like that."

"I'll go get him."

Oscar started the engine and quickly backed out of the driveway into the road again and I forced myself to stop pacing and relax in the yard with my laptop. The journey was only a twenty-five mile round trip, but Oscar may have to park up and go looking for Edward.

I idly surfed through a few more news websites while I waited, glancing at the time on my phone every so often until forty minutes had passed. I was ridiculously excited about Edward's arrival and had to firmly tell myself that he probably wouldn't be feeling very sociable and may be as awkward around me as he'd been on the phone, but I still couldn't wait to see him.

I heard Oscar's truck on the driveway a few minutes later and put the computer aside, quickly scrambling off of the sun lounger and grabbing the t-shirt I had discarded, pulling it over my head. Edward appeared around the corner of the house a few seconds later, bearded as in the photographs, wearing a baseball cap and dark glasses, jeans and a plaid shirt, a small case in one hand. He took the glasses off quickly and tucked them into the neck of his shirt as he dumped the case and approached more slowly. He looked nervous and I closed the gap between us, wondering how I should greet him; shake hands, hug him, a combination of both? Maybe it had been too long to be familiar.

I offered him my hand and when he shook it, I stepped closer and gave him a brief one-armed hug, then backed off.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah...thanks...um...sorry to just turn up like this."

"It's fine, I'm glad you did. What time did you land?" I asked.

"It was...uh...a few hours ago."

"Well, why didn't you call a few hours ago?" I picked up his case and pushed the door open to lead him into the house.

"In the middle of the night? I couldn't do that."

"Well, at least you're here now." I opened the door of the guest room. "You're in here. There's an en suite in the corner there."

"Thanks," Edward nodded. "I'm really grateful for this. I'm glad you contacted me."

He removed the baseball cap and tugged a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted, I noted, eyes shadowed, the beard only just disguising the gauntness of his face. Now he smiled ruefully and a touch apologetically.

"I look like shit."

"No, you just look tired and tense. Would you like a drink, or food or anything?"

"I'd really just like to take a shower if that's ok," he said quietly.

"Sure, I'll leave you to it. I'll be out in the back yard when you're done, or if you just want to stay in here for a while and rest, that's ok too."

I left him alone, closing the door behind me and returned to my sun lounger. Oscar was sweeping the decking and now he straightened up and glanced at me.

"Is there anything special you want me to do today, Mr Black?"

"Not that I can think of. We could do with some more groceries and maybe some beer; I wasn't expecting Edward today." I took my wallet out of my pocket and removed a handful of dollar bills. "Could you get a crate of Bud, some steaks, salad, fruit, stuff like that? Maybe some frozen pizzas or something. Take your time, ok?""

Oscar took off at once and I sat alone looking out at the sea as I waited for Edward, hoping he would come out and talk to me when he was done showering. Twenty minutes passed and then suddenly he was sitting down on the second lounger next to mine. He had changed into a blue t-shirt and cargo shorts, his hair still wet from the shower and the beard gone.

"It's a nice place you have here," he said.

"Thanks, I love it."

"Doesn't it get lonely?"

"Sometimes, but it was my choice to leave everything behind."

"I'm kind of envious right now. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just quit, like you did; walked away from it all and escaped."

"It takes a while before it leaves you alone," I said. "They get bored and move onto somebody else eventually though."

"I'm guessing you know what's been happening. I know you talked to Leah, but...since then."

"I read the Globe online earlier," I told him. "Was that Leah's idea?"

"Yes, but I forced myself into that position by hitting Seth. My parents will be furious; I talked to Mom briefly, but not Dad."

"They'll get over it. You have to deal with things the best way for you, regardless of how it affects anybody else."

"Yeah, well I plan to in the future." He cleared his throat and raked his fingers through his hair again. "So what do you do out here?"

"I'm writing a book; a novel actually. I don't plan to make a big new career out of it or anything; I'm going to try to publish it anonymously just for the fun of it."

I outlined the plot to him and he liked the idea a lot. Gradually the tension in him seemed to be slipping away and we were chatting the way we always had done; as if we could tell each other anything. Edward avoided the subject of Bella and he didn't smile or laugh much, but he seemed comfortable and relaxed by the time Oscar returned with the groceries and brought us some chilled beers.

"So, what's your new movie about?" I asked him then.

"Coincidentally it's about a guy like me. Well, some aspects of it are like my life." He flushed suddenly. "He's a lawyer in a family business, trying to please his parents, under pressure until it all gets too much and he...changes direction. I wanted to do something for me. The only one I ever chose was 'The Last Train', but I fucked up with this." He paused and drank from his beer bottle, gulping almost all of the contents.

"What do you mean?"

"I was being pressured by Dad to pick a Josh Lambert movie, which sounded boring as hell. My parents had just had me over, supposedly for dinner, but to try and force me to fix things with Bella..."

I had seen the news article that stated both of them had attended Carlisle's house and were planning to reconcile and I frowned as he paused. Even knowing Carlisle and Esme as well as I did, I found it difficult to believe that they would be as unfeeling as to force Edward to see Bella that way.

"I'm guessing what the papers said about that was bullshit," I said.

"Pretty much. I don't want to go into that now. I was just pissed when I got home, you know? So I picked the movie that had interested me from the title and a bit of the summary...'The Chains That Bind Us'. Leah brought the contract over and I signed it without reading the script. I know, I'm a jerk. It has some things in it that I'm not...comfortable about doing."

"Like what?"

"Um...love scenes really. I hate them. Even taking my shirt off on set, I just want to crawl off and hide somewhere; it's embarrassing. I managed to avoid most of that so far except in the two movies with...um...Bella."

"You just have to remember that you're not you when you're doing that; you're whoever your character is. It's no different to anything else; whether your character's having dinner with someone, or fighting, or...getting shot and dying in a puddle of blood..." I added in a brief description of his character's end in 'our' movie. "...or whether he's kissing somebody or simulating sex. It doesn't have to be embarrassing if you think about it differently."

Something came into my mind as I spoke and I remembered that the Globe had stated Edward's co-star was Paul Lahote. Did this mean the two male characters would get involved with each other? I didn't mention it, but I could see why Edward would find a love scene like that difficult, more so than usual, if that were the case.

"I guess." He sighed heavily and opened his mouth as if to continue, but then shut it again. "Are you sure it's ok me staying here? It's only going to be a few days and then..."

"Edward, I said it's fine," I repeated. I sat up and swung my legs off of the side of the lounger to face him, resting my elbows on my knees. "I want you to stay as long as you need to, whether that's a few days or a few weeks; whatever. Just make yourself at home. If you want company or you'd rather be on your own, it's cool."

"Thank you. I think I'll feel better when I deal with the two things I've been putting off. I should have done it before I left, but I guess I didn't want to face it."

"Bella?"

"Yeah, and my Dad."

He licked his lips and swallowed before he sat up straighter, pulling his legs up and crossing them in front of him. He was facing the sea and I glanced at his profile, noting how his cheekbones protruded more than usual, his whole body appearing thinner than I expected, although you couldn't gauge much from photographs and the TV.

"I think even now, my parents want me to get over it and stay with her," he said. "They seemed shocked she slept with Sam Uley, but they're so worried about what the world will think..."

"What the world thinks right now is that she's not worth it. She cheated on you and embarrassed you in public; you've got one hundred percent support from both the media and your fans, but even if you hadn't, you have to think about what you want. Do you want to move on and forget about it? I'm not asking you to answer that, I'm just saying...the hell with everybody else right now. It's about trust and if you can forgive her and forget about it, then do it, but if not, walk away. Yes, it'll hurt, but a clean break will be better than you going on wondering if it'll happen again."

"That's exactly what Jasper told me. Stupid that I hadn't come to that conclusion myself."

"Not really. It's not only that you're having to deal with, is it? Most people in these situations don't have the whole world watching them and making up shit about them until they get the actual story."

"I need to call her." Edward sighed heavily and glanced at his wristwatch. It was neither his parents' Rolex nor the Omega I had given him, but a heavy gold thing with several dials; not his style at all and I wondered if Bella had given it to him. "I guess she'll be awake by now."

I got to my feet and after a brief hesitation I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "I'll go in the house for a while, give you some privacy."

I went into the kitchen and slowly started putting some things together for lunch. I wasn't sure if Edward would feel like eating anything, but I could leave it in the refrigerator. I chopped a bowl of salad, put some steaks in a dish of marinade ready to grill and began making an exotic fruit salad, glancing out of the window constantly at Edward. He had been talking on the phone for a while, on his feet pacing up and down on the neatly trimmed lawn, dragging his free hand through his hair every so often. I hated to see him in such a state. He had been so relaxed and happy when we spent those six months making 'The Last Train' and now he was a completely different person.

It was clear when he finished talking. He sank onto the sun lounger again as if his legs had given up and tossed the phone onto the small plastic table I kept there to hold drinks and so on. He dropped his face into his hands and remained like that as a minute passed and then another. I put the food items into the refrigerator quickly, washed my hands and headed outside. As soon as I opened the door I could hear him crying and I hurried across the lawn, my heart aching for him.

"Edward..." I dropped to my haunches next to him.

"Sorry...uh..." He scrubbed his hands over his face, pointlessly wiping away tears as fresh ones filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "I...it's...I...um..." he choked.

"Stop trying to talk." I slid an arm around him and slowly he leaned in to me although he remained half-turned away, his hands over his nose and mouth and his eyes closed. "Let it out," I encouraged.

He continued to stifle his cries a little longer, snuffling quietly as tears dripped onto his hands, but then he broke and sobbed, his whole body shaking, letting his pain out until eventually he went limp against me, breathing hard through his mouth.

"Sorry," he whispered again.

"I'm guessing that's been needed for a while," I murmured.

"Yeah." He pulled away from me and got to his feet. "I'm just gonna...um...I'll be back in a minute."

I stayed where I was when he went into the house, presumably to wash his face and get himself together and several minutes passed before he came back, face pale and eyes red, but otherwise looking a little better. He gave me a watery smile and sat down.

"So...um...it's over, with Bella. I ended it," he said.

"How did she take it?" I was intensely relieved that he wasn't going to let himself be fooled by her any more and I kept quiet as he told me what happened.

"Not well. The first thing she said when she picked up the phone was that she couldn't believe I talked to the Globe. Like she never did anything like that before. She thought I did it out of spite and that it was nothing to do with punching Seth Clearwater. She's so like my parents. I had seen that, but it seemed different when it was just us and we weren't in the middle of filming or anything. I guess I thought she was what I wanted, but with all that's happened, it just showed me we're completely wrong for each other. She doesn't support me, unless it's good for her image. Anyway, like I said, it's over. I might have been able to get over it if it really had only been a kiss, but I probably always would have wondered if it would happen again, maybe with somebody else. You know what? She wasn't even upset, only pissed that I don't trust her and that I actually dared to do something about it." He turned and glared at me. "Have I just been a complete fool all along?"

"Not at all. You thought you could be happy; you loved her. Now you've done what's right for you. You're gonna be ok, Edward."

"Yeah." He smiled ruefully. "Now I just have to deal with my Dad. Leah said she would talk to him, but really, I have to do it myself. He'll have read the papers by now and found out about the movie. I'm only surprised he hasn't tried calling me yet." He picked up his phone again and selected a number.

"Should I disappear again?" I offered.

"No, you can stay. I'm just going to tell him what I'm doing and make him understand that from now on, I do what's best for me, not him and Mom, or the press or anybody else."

I chuckled quietly.

"What?" Edward queried.

"Nothing, I'm just proud of you, that's all."

"Thanks." He punched the call button and put the phone to his ear.

Obviously I only heard his half of the conversation as he spoke to Carlisle and explained that he had ended things with Bella and no, he wasn't going to change his mind. No, he did _not_ want his father interfering in his choice of movie to release him from his contract and he had no intention of going over to discuss it in person.

"I'm out of town," he said. "It doesn't matter where; I'm taking a break and I'll come back when I'm ready."

Clearly the article in the Globe was the next topic on Cullen Senior's agenda, but Edward dealt with that as smoothly as he had that of Bella and the movie. What he had said had helped, not hindered him; he had huge support and had no doubt that would continue. When he ended the call, he had another rueful smile on his face.

"They're 'disappointed' in my choices," he said. "Somehow they always manage to make me feel guilty, like I've hurt them or put them out in some way."

"Don't." I shook my head. "You've nothing to feel guilty about; you never had. They can't keep on forcing you to live the way they want by using emotional blackmail. They're just going to have to accept that what they think is a suitable image to portray doesn't work for you. If they love you, they'll accept it sooner or later."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"Do you feel ok?"

"Actually, yes. Drained, but better."

"Would you like lunch?"

He nodded at once. "I can't even remember the last time I ate anything."

I went to fire up the grill and fetched the steaks. Oscar was cleaning the wood floors in the hall and lounge and he paused and looked up at me as I carried the plate outside.

"Is your boy alright?"

'My boy,' I thought. The times I had wished he could be just that.

"He's gonna be fine," I said.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

**Edward's POV**

I had only been in Barbados for a few hours and already I knew I'd made the right decision. I hadn't gone about it in the right way – just flying to Bridgetown with no warning and then calling at the last minute after worrying half the night that he wouldn't appreciate me just showing up – but by the time we were sitting out on the sand watching the sunset and drinking cocktails, I felt more relaxed than I had in months; even years.

The conversation with Bella had been hard, but made easier than I expected by the fact that she was pissed rather than upset. Just like my parents, she seemed more concerned by what the press would say than the fact that she was losing me and she was mad as hell over my interview with the Globe.

I was slightly worried about the aftermath of me punching Leah's brother, especially when I borrowed Jacob's laptop to check my emails and discovered one from Seth telling me that I would be arrested if I wasn't careful and certainly sued. I called Leah and predictably she had already dealt with the situation. She was reasonably close to the editor of Stars Weekly, who had since told Seth in no uncertain terms that if he did or said anything further to upset Edward Cullen, he would be fired without references as they had no intention of having their name sullied by an employee offending someone such as myself. Leah had added to this by telling him that if he dared come after me with his own lawyer, she would see to it that his name was mud and he would never work again.

Leah was ferocious in protecting her clients and I thanked God yet again that I had hired her instead of the manager Dad had tried to steer me towards years before. It was one of the few decisions I had made for myself.

Dad had been irate when I talked to him, demanding to know where I was and that I get home immediately. He and Mom still wanted me to reconcile with Bella and he wanted to interfere and cancel my contract to work on 'The Chains That Bind Us', but I held firm. I reminded myself that if I let them bully me, let myself feel guilty and change my mind about what I planned to do, I would be furious with myself and even more unhappy with my life than I currently was. Dad had ended the conversation by saying he would speak to me when I got home, in a manner that told me he thought he was addressing a naughty child, but for now I didn't intend to let that bother me.

I felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It had taken me collapsing in tears and crying all over Jacob like a baby, leaving me drained and sad, before I was able to set aside the pain I had been in since I saw the picture of Bella and Sam, but now as I sat on the sand, curling my toes between the grains and watching the glow of the sun disappear beyond the horizon, a tall glass of something green and very strong in my hand, I felt almost free. It would only be a few days, but I would make the most of every minute until I had to go back. Jacob had said I could stay as long as I wanted, but too long and I knew I wouldn't want to go back to it at all.

"You want another?" Jacob gestured to the jug of cocktail sitting between us and I realised my glass was empty.

"Thanks. One more, then I'll need to get some sleep." I stifled a yawn as he filled the glass. It was probably thirty-six hours since I slept; with the long flight, hanging around in the airport and then the day spent with Jacob and the time difference, I wasn't even sure what day it was any more.

"Feeling better?" He filled my glass almost to the brim and I gulped some of the now slightly warming drink.

"Much. Everything seems so far away right now. I know I'm going to have to go back to it in a few days, but I feel like I can almost forget about it until then. I'm not under the illusion that it's all just gone away and I won't have to deal with the media again when I get back, and Bella and my parents, but at least I can get my head straight before I do."

"I'm glad you came here," Jacob said quietly.

"Me too."

I was still surprised he had gotten in touch and I wanted to ask why. Had he been thinking about me over the past few years after all? Did he just feel sorry for me after the recent press about Bella and me? Did he ever think about the last time we saw each other alone? I hadn't really dwelled on it since I'd been with Bella; I had loved her and she'd become the most important person in my life, but I had never been able to forget him completely and I wondered if now we were spending time together again, we would finally talk about it. Luckily the alcohol hadn't loosened my tongue enough for me to bring the subject up; I would only end up embarrassing myself and ruining the short time I had with him.

I finished my drink and excused myself, leaving Jacob on the beach as I went to my room and fell into bed. The room was cool and dark and I wore only shorts, covering myself with the thin sheet on the bed and sprawling out flat on my back. I began to drift into sleep almost immediately and exhaustion kept me there for almost twelve hours.

When I opened my eyes again it was morning, sunlight was flooding in through the partially open blinds and I hadn't moved a muscle since I lay down. I felt rested and relaxed and I stayed still a few more minutes before the need to pee led me to the bathroom. I used the toilet, showered and pulled on some fresh clothes, then peered at myself in the small shaving mirror. I looked different; the bags under my eyes were gone and my face no longer appeared strained and worried.

Jacob was already up, sitting at the table on the decking eating breakfast. As I went to join him I could see he was reading a news article on his laptop and I wondered what the papers were saying about me today.

"Morning." I took the seat opposite him and he looked up immediately and smiled.

"Hey. You look better."

"Yeah, thanks, I slept well."

"Help yourself to breakfast."

I poured some coffee from the jug and picked up a stuffed bagel. "What's in the news this morning?"

"The usual." He switched off the computer and closed the lid.

"You can tell me; I doubt anything would surprise me."

"Bella's telling 'her side' of the story. Heartbroken you broke up with her, she made one little mistake that didn't mean anything, she's sorry, she loves you, blah blah. The social media network is full of messages calling her a tramp and saying you're better off without her."

I sighed heavily and glanced at my phone as it beeped to announce the arrival of a text message; it was from Bella and I opened it reluctantly.

_'Edward, please call me. I'm sorry about yesterday, I was too upset to say what I really meant, which is that I don't want to lose you. I love you and I'm sorry. Let's try to work this out. Bx.'_

I put the bagel down again, my appetite lost and sipped the coffee instead.

"Is it her?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah."

I didn't answer the text, but Bella didn't leave it at that. Jacob suggested taking a trip out on the boat he kept anchored a little way from the shore and during the six hours we spent on the water, I received eight more messages, begging me to call, apologising over and over. I had been determined not to think about her, but it was impossible. After almost three years I couldn't just switch off how I felt and my anger and hurt over her cheating was mixed with longing for things to go back to how they had been just a couple weeks ago. I missed her and the persistent text messages were making me wonder if I had made a mistake. Maybe I should have given her another chance after all.

In addition I knew I was being lousy company for Jacob. He was doing his best to make me enjoy the day, mooring the boat ten feet above an area of coral with the idea of snorkelling and diving down to see the sealife close up in the crystal clear water, but he was now down there on his own after I had returned to the boat after ten minutes. I was confused and unhappy and on top of that I felt guilty for imposing my mood on him.

"Edward..."

I hadn't heard him climb onto the boat behind me and I looked up as he came to sit by me. My legs were dangling over the side of the boat and my folded arms rested on the lower part of the white railing. Jacob adopted the same pose and looked at the water below and around us rather than at me.

"I'm sorry I'm such miserable company," I said.

"Don't worry about it. Maybe you'd rather have had the day to yourself."

"I actually don't want to be alone, I'm just concerned I'm boring the hell out of you. You went to all this trouble..."

"Taking the boat out is no trouble, I do it all the time. Don't feel you have to talk to me though; I know you've got stuff on your mind."

"Did I make a mistake?" I blurted. "Ending things with her."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know."

"I think you need to distance yourself and give yourself some time. You seemed sure of what you wanted yesterday, but you're hurt and I doubt you can think logically with all of those messages she keeps sending. I know it's hard to ignore, but you should turn your phone off or something. If she's that keen to talk to you, she'll wait until you're ready."

I knew he was right; I had been trying to tell myself the same thing, but every time my phone beeped, I read the message. Some part of me seemed to think she might tell me what I wanted to hear – that we really could get over this, but I knew I was kidding myself. It was just more of the same – apologies and 'I love yous' that didn't mean anything because she _slept with another man._

I pulled the phone out of the pocket in my shorts and switched it off, then took a deep breath and hurled it as far as I could into the ocean.

"Fuck!" Jacob snorted in surprise.

"I'll just be tempted to keep on reading them otherwise. I won't be able to get over what she did, I know that. I kept trying to tell myself I could because I miss being with her, but I don't even know if what we had was real. I just can't imagine not feeling like this."

"It'll take time. Love hurts, but you get over it eventually."

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked. I'd never known him to be in a relationship before he quit acting, but anything could happen in five years.

"Once." He gave me a wry sideways grin and put his sunglasses on.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. It just didn't work out, that's all."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, I just...wondered."

"It's ok." He almost seemed to shake himself before he turned and grabbed up a bottle of suncream and held it out to me. "Put some more of this on before you burn; considering you live in LA, you're damned pale."

"I don't tan well, mostly I just go red, peel and go back to white," I grimaced. I picked up my shirt from the deck and slid my arms into it, then applied the cream to my forearms and my face.

Jacob got up again and went to pull up the anchor and start the boat. Clearly we were heading back and I stayed where I was, feeling a light breeze on my face as we headed south again. Some of the beaches we passed were crowded with tourists, areas of the water busy with windsurfers or jet skis, everybody seeming to be having the time of their lives while I wished I could shake off my mood just long enough to crack one smile.

_'It'll take time,'_ Jacob had said. '_Love hurts, but you get over it eventually.'_

Who had hurt him? A guy who cheated like Bella? Maybe someone who wanted him only because of who he was? How long was 'eventually'? A week? A month?

I sat brooding until the boat halted in front of Jacob's house and he dropped the anchor again, lowering the rubber dinghy into the water to carry us the short distance to the beach. I jumped out into knee-deep water and helped tug the small vessel up onto the sand.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Sure."

"I know I said I would stay a few days, but...I was thinking maybe a week...or so?"

"Edward, if you want to stay a month, it's ok," Jacob answered at once. "I told you, make yourself at home."

"Thanks."

Two weeks, I thought. Maybe in two weeks I would be better company; maybe when I went home I would be over it enough not to be swayed by begging and tears and attempts to make me feel guilty, from both Bella and my parents.

"I could probably use a shopping trip though," I added. "I only brought enough clothes for a long weekend."

The next day Jacob suggested a trip to Bridgetown to look for the things I wanted and although I knew it was likely I would be recognised, shopping was a necessity. I borrowed his laptop to send Leah a message to let her know what I was doing and although I noticed at least a dozen emails in my inbox from Bella and Dad, I ignored them and logged off. I wasn't going to let them spoil another day of my time here.

I expected Jacob to either drive to Bridgetown or have Oscar take us, but instead he suggested using the local bus service, known as 'The Experience'.

"What the hell is that?" I wondered as we walked off the driveway to the unmarked road.

"You'll see. The locals use it; some of the tourists try too, if they dare."

Jacob grinned and stuck his arm out suddenly as a white Toyota Hi-Ace van appeared, hurtling along the road towards us. It braked hard and the tyres skidded in the dust as it halted close by, windows open, loud Reggae music pumping from the radio. Glancing in the window, I spotted at least ten people sitting in there cramped together and as the door swung open, Jacob ushered me inside.

"Hurry up, they don't like to wait."

I fell into the first available seat at once side, finding myself almost in the lap of a large Barbadian lady in a bright blue and yellow dress. She beamed widely and squeezed herself closer to the window as Jacob took the seat immediately in front of me – a seat which hadn't been there a second ago, but had been unfolded from somewhere by the guy collecting bus fares. Jacob handed him two dollars and then we were off, the music booming, the driver smoking what looked suspiciously like cannabis, much to my alarm.

The bus travelled much too fast for the narrow winding road, which became busier the closer we got to Bridgetown. Then in an effort to pass slow-moving traffic, suddenly we were swerving left into the unfenced front yard of a small house, ploughing through a gap in the shrubs bordering the next property and continuing in that manner until the two vehicles in the road were passed before the bus lurched back onto the road in front of them.

"Holy shit," I breathed.

None of the other passengers appeared to think any of this was out of the ordinary and Jacob was just grinning. I quickly understood why the name 'The Experience' had been applied and I was laughing by the time we alighted, somewhat shakily, in the centre of the city.

"That was insane," I said. "But fun."

It was still early – at least by Barbadian standards – most of the stores only having been open a short while even though I estimated the time to be around ten-thirty. I had abandoned the gold watch Bella had given me after that first day, wondering why I had even brought it with me. It now lay in the bottom of my small case, along with the one Jacob had given me for my eighteenth, which I hadn't had the courage to wear in front of him.

There were a number of stores with designer labels in the windows, but it was the large department store I decided upon. It was probably the first time I had been shopping for my own clothes and I quickly accumulated a supply of underwear, socks, shorts, shirts, some light summer pants and even canvas shoes and sneakers. The whole lot cost me less than three hundred dollars and I could only imagine the horror on my mother's face if she saw me wearing nameless, cheaply made clothing with less than perfect stitching in places. I took the opportunity to use the store's restrooms and changed into one of the new shirts – a brightly coloured short-sleeved item which I left hanging outside of my shorts – and exchanged my shoes and socks for the new sneakers.

"You look like a tourist," Jacob teased when I emerged.

"I am a tourist. What is there to do that's fun and...touristy?"

"Gift stores? Helicopter tour? Hiking?" Jacob suggested. "The helicopter we'd probably have to book in advance."

"Let's do it," I said firmly. "I will not spend my time here moping."

"You might have to spend some of it posing, however," Jacob smirked, pointing across the street. A group of real tourists consisting of four girls and two boys were staring at us, excited expressions on their faces.

"I'm sorry," I groaned.

"What for?"

"They'll probably talk about you too."

"It doesn't matter. No one will really bother me here, even if I do end up with my picture in the paper again."

"I thought you wanted to stay anonymous?"

"Edward, what are they gonna say? That we're apparently friends and you're visiting me? Maybe make up some other shit that we know isn't true? Don't worry about me. If I was concerned about it I wouldn't be out with you."

"Edward Cullen!" One of the girls suddenly screamed my name and all six began to cross the street, barely noticing when a car had to brake to avoid running into them.

I had never really enjoyed being approached for autographs and photos, but for once it didn't bother me. It wasn't a crowd of a hundred fans the way it would have been back home – it was six kids on vacation, overjoyed and amazed to see me. They asked politely, giggling, for me to sign various items and took turns at being photographed with me. It was a minute or two before one of the guys turned his attention to Jacob.

"Aren't you Jacob Black?"

"Yes, that's me."

"You live here, right?"

"Yeah."

"Shame you retired; your movies were awesome."

Jacob was drawn into the impromptu photo shoot for a few minutes more and then the group left us alone. For once the attention hadn't drawn anyone else to join in and we were again ignored as we walked to the heliport. Predictably the tours were busy, but a slot was free the following morning at nine o'clock, early enough for the majority of tourists not to want it. I booked and paid at once and with that done we ate lunch in a seafood restaurant before taking 'The Experience' back to Jacob's house. Heading away from Bridgetown, this one was less crowded which was just as well since I had five bags of purchases to find room for.

As I unpacked everything in my room, I realised I had managed not to think about my troubles for several hours and I felt much better. Visiting Jacob had been the best decision I had made in a long time and I knew that once I did go back, we would stay close the way we had been a long time ago.

By the time a week had passed, my misery over Bella was still there, but it had faded considerably. She had sent more and more emails each day, none of which I had allowed myself to read although I hadn't deleted any of them. Maybe I would read them when I was home, maybe not.

The day after we took the helicopter tour, my photo was in the papers again, standing with an arm around each of two of the girls we met in Bridgetown. The article speculated on what I could possibly be doing on the island, adding that retired star, Jacob Black, had been with me on what appeared to be a shopping trip and since he had once been a family friend, it was possible I was visiting him. I knew my parents would be furious and reluctantly I called them a couple days later. I had already talked to Leah and she warned me that my mother was considering flying over to persuade me to go back immediately.

"What are you doing, Edward?" Mom demanded sharply, making me wince as I held Jacob's phone to my ear. "Don't you care what people think?"

"What do they think? That I'm upset over my cheating girlfriend and I needed a break? That I'm staying with an old friend of the family?"

"Edward, you know why we don't want you associating with Jacob. It's not fitting. People _know _about him."

"Mom, nobody cares about that," I sighed. "And they won't care that I'm here."

"I'm surprised you want anything to do with that man after what he did!"

"Do we have to talk about this? It was years ago. Jacob's my friend; he always was, whether you let me see him or not. We didn't talk for a few years, which is something I sincerely regret, but from now on, I'm afraid you're going to have to accept that I choose who I want to spend my time with. I'm twenty-five, Mom, not a child and the company I keep is my own business."

The conversation didn't last much longer. For once Bella's name didn't even come up and when I gave Jacob his phone back, he was grinning.

"I don't suppose Esme was too happy about you defending me."

"Not really._ 'I'm surprised you want anything to do with that man after what he did!' _And as usual she only cares what things look like. Why did you do it, anyway?" I blurted.

Jacob's mouth fell open.

"Um...I mean...we never got to talk about it, did we?" I looked away, feeling my face heating up and cursing myself for saying anything.

"Edward..."

"It doesn't matter, just forget I mentioned it. It was just...Mom brought it up and I...you wouldn't talk to me."

"I wanted to." He sighed heavily and sat forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "I guess I was just trying to do the right thing. For a moment at your birthday party, I couldn't help myself. You were too young and I should have known better, but I wanted you; I had done for a while."

"Really?" I turned to look at him again in surprise.

"I had feelings for you that I kept trying to talk myself out of. When Esme caught us and they banned me from seeing you, I suppose I found it easier to just do as they said and stay away. You know how impossible it is to keep a secret in your world...our world then. I didn't care what people said about me by then, I was already considering quitting so I could be myself, but I didn't want that for you."

"What about what I wanted?" My heart was hammering and I struggled to breathe properly. It hadn't just been a spur of the moment kiss that didn't mean anything. I had spent countless nights crying into my pillow over him when I was eighteen and all the time he had _wanted me_.

"Like I said, you were too young. I did what I thought was best at the time. That included during that movie we worked on."

"You still had feelings for me then?"

"Yeah."

"So why did you reject me?" I exclaimed.

"The same reason. I didn't want to wreck anything for you. You had a huge career in front of you; you could have had anything you wanted..."

"You sound like my Dad," I interrupted bitterly. "You knew how much I hated what I was doing. I only enjoyed working on 'The Last Train' as much as I did because you were in it and I got to spend every day with you. 'I could have anything I wanted'...I couldn't have _anything._ I would have thrown all of it away – my career, my money, even my family, if you hadn't turned me away from your door!"

"Edward..." Jacob groaned and hung his head.

"You didn't even tell me why; you just came out and quit all in one go and then disappeared," I went on. "I thought you didn't care at all; that it never meant anything. I thought you probably just saw me as a stupid kid that hero-worshipped you..."

"I never thought that. I..." He stopped and looked up at me again. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." I rubbed my hands over my cheeks, astonished when they came away wet. I got up quickly and headed for the door.

"Edward! Wait, where are you going?" Jacob called after me.

"I just...need some time on my own."

I closed the door firmly behind me and walked barefoot down to the beach. My mind was a complete muddle. He had cared about me; wanted me. Could I even have been the one he said he loved? Hearing all of that had upset me much more than I expected it to. I had gotten the answers I wanted, but I was left feeling that the last five years of my life had been a terrible waste. If only he had told me...

I halted and stared at my feet. My heart was racing, my stomach in a knot and filled with butterflies. I had never forgotten about him, but when I met Bella I thought I had stopped caring and yet now, I felt as if I'd just been told everything I had wanted to hear. Everything except that his feelings hadn't changed; that he still thought about me like that.

"Don't be stupid," I muttered aloud.

He would have moved past it by now and in any case, I was a complete mess. I didn't even know what I wanted for myself. He had cared for me, but it was five years too late.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

**Jacob's POV**

I was stunned by Edward's outburst. When he walked out of the house I let him go, as tempted as I was to run after him. He had been right – I had never thought he was just a stupid kid, but I had thought it had been hero-worship; just a crush that I took advantage of when I kissed him like that. I hadn't seriously thought the feelings had been on his side too, but it was pretty clear now that they had been.

_'I would have thrown all of it away – my career, my money, even my family, if you hadn't turned me away from your door!'_

If I had known that, would I have done anything differently, I wondered? Would I have done what I really wanted – what both of us wanted – and told him how I felt? Either stayed in LA to be with him, or taken him away from everything?

I sighed heavily. There was no point in thinking like that; it was in the past and it was what happened now that was important. Edward still seemed hurt by me turning him away, but at the same time he had just gone through a bad break-up, had it all dragged through the press along with more that wasn't true; it was still going on, every day another article speculating about whether he and Bella would get back together or not. Meanwhile his parents pressured him to take her back, pressured him to live his life the way they wanted and he signed up for a movie on the spur of the moment that he was going to find difficult. He was too confused; he couldn't possibly know what he really wanted right now and what he needed was a friend. It was too late.

It was an hour before he came back, looking like he didn't know what to say to me. I almost expected him to say he would leave in the morning as he hovered in the lounge doorway, staring past me rather than at me.

"Sorry about...before. I shouldn't have said all that stuff."

"No, I'm glad you did; it's been hanging over us," I said.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm gonna...um...take a shower."

He disappeared into his room and we didn't speak of it again. Things were a little awkward between us for the rest of the day, but the following morning we ate breakfast together as usual, talking about the latest Edward and Bella story in the news. I got a mention myself and I felt like I was reading about another person. Edward had apparently come to visit me to cry on my shoulder while he decided what to do, but a reconciliation was on the cards upon his return.

"Such bullshit," he muttered. "I don't know why I even read it."

We went out that day, taking my Jeep to drive around the island and explore. The easy, relaxed mood between us returned, but even then something felt different, at least to me. My eyes were repeatedly drawn to Edward, noticing all the things I hadn't consciously noticed during the first week of his visit – the way his lips moved when he spoke; the way his bronze hair, streaked slightly blond in places from the sun, would stand up wildly all over his head when he raked his fingers through it; the way he sat, slouched in the seat with his bare feet on the dash, shorts pulled tight around firm thighs.

I was furious with myself. I had been sure that after so long I didn't feel anything any more, but either I was fooling myself and I'd only buried it, or having him here had just started things off all over again. I didn't want him to leave; I wanted him to fall for me and decide to stay, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. When only yesterday I had thought it was too late, now it was too soon. Edward needed to get over Bella and decide what he really wanted to do with his life.

It was two days later that something happened to at least temporarily take my mind off of Edward. We had been up early taking a dip in the sea and were eating breakfast on the decking when I realised it with nine-thirty and Oscar hadn't shown up for work. He was never late, not even if he was sick. I let another thirty minutes pass before I decided to call and check he was ok, but before I could pick up the phone, it rang.

"Mr Black?"

"Yes?"

"This is Rosalina, I am Oscar and Adanna's daughter."

I hadn't met Rosalina – she was married with two children and lived in St Lawrence – but Oscar had talked about her many times. She and her husband both worked in one of the hotels there. Now she sounded tearful and I listened in shock as she told me that Oscar had suffered a heart attack during the night. It had come completely out of the blue and he had died before an ambulance had made it to their house.

"Mamma says to tell you she'll take over working for you until you can find somebody else," she added.

"You tell her from me that I won't be finding anybody else," I said at once. "The job is hers for as long as she wants it and she'll get the same pay that your father did. We'll figure out what her tasks will be when she's ready to start."

I was stunned that Oscar was gone, just like that. The previous day had been his day off, but the day before that he had been fine; he had been clearing leaves out of the guttering, whistling tunefully as he worked his way all around the house.

"Jacob? Did something happen to Oscar?"

I looked up as Edward's hand came to rest over mine on the table.

"Yeah...he died last night. Heart attack," I said. "I can't believe it."

"I'm sorry. He seemed like a really nice guy."

"Yeah, he was." I absently turned my hand over and wrapped my fingers around Edward's. "I can't imagine how his wife must feel; they've been together since they were kids."

I pulled my hand free quickly and poured myself some more coffee. We hadn't made any plans for that day and I decided it would be a good idea to stay home. I had told Rosalina to call me if the family needed help with anything and even though she had assured me they would be alright, I didn't want to disappear.

Edward sprawled out on the lawn on a rug, wearing only shorts and a thick layer of sun lotion as he read through the script for his next movie and I watched absently from one of the loungers, trying not to study him too hard and finding it impossible.

Eventually he rolled over, put the script down and picked up the lotion again, squeezing some into his hand. He covered his chest and belly with it, his hands moving in slow circles and as much as I told myself to look away, I couldn't. I imagined myself kneeling on the rug beside him, applying the cream to his body myself, finishing with his upper half and turning my attention to his thighs, stroking my hands up and down each one...

"Fuck..." I said under my breath.

The sight of him and my imagination were making me hard and I pulled one knee up and rested my arm across my lap to hide the evidence in case he should look in my direction. He seemed engrossed in the script again and was paying me no attention whatsoever. My eyes drifted to his face, teeth biting into his lower lip in concentration as he squinted through dark glasses at the papers in his hand. He reached down with his free hand to briefly scratch the outside of his thigh and I scowled to myself, thinking I should probably switch the computer on and give myself something else to think about, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Every little move he made had me riveted and my cock was twitching impatiently beneath my forearm. If only we had longer...if only he was over her.

I did my best to behave the same as I always did, but I was convinced Edward would see some difference in me. I didn't seem able to just see him as a friend any more and I caught him looking at me strangely more than once over the next day or two. His eyes would dart away the minute mine met them and more often than not he reddened slightly, but I was convinced it was because I was making him uncomfortable. He had already told me he would need to go home and meet with Rosalie Hale and prepare for his movie in a few days and I was ruining the short time we had left. It was Adanna's arrival for work the next day that changed things.

I really hadn't expected the woman to want to work before Oscar's funeral, but she was concerned about leaving me too long without help, didn't want to let me down, didn't want to let Oscar down. I begged her to just take another week or so to be with her family, but she refused point blank and set to work cleaning, doing laundry, ironing, baking and so on. In the afternoon she came out into the yard with a plate of freshly baked muffins for us to try and we quickly abandoned Edward's script. He had asked me to help him rehearse a scene earlier and I had been eager to act with him, even though I was playing his father's part, reading lines not dissimilar to the way Carlisle spoke.

Adanna left us to it and we ate the delicious blueberry muffins before I went into the house to refill the jug of homemade lemonade we had been drinking.

"The muffins were amazing, thank you," I said.

"It was my pleasure, Mr Black." Adanna took the empty plate from me. "Mr Black, may I say something without you thinking I speak out of turn?"

"Of course you can," I nodded, puzzled.

"I don't know you so well as Oscar did, but I have eyes and so did he, God rest his soul. You seem like a lonely man..."

I gaped at her. I didn't often feel lonely here, although I knew I would when Edward left, which he would be doing in less than twenty-four hours. My stomach turned over and I wondered how time had gone by so quickly.

"When are you going to tell that boy you love him?"

"Adanna...wh-what makes you think...? I...um..." I stuttered, glancing out of the window to make sure Edward was still at the far side of the lawn and not in the house listening.

"I've seen the way you look at him. It's the same way he looks at you; he worships the ground you walk on."

"Well, I don't really think...I mean..." I frowned as I thought about the last few days since we talked; those odd little looks he kept giving me; the blushes when I caught him staring. Maybe they meant something different to what I had thought. "You think so?"

Adanna nodded firmly. "I hope you don't mind me offering advice, but you should tell him before he leaves; before it's too late. Who knows what will happen when he's gone from here?"

"He's getting over a break-up," I said thoughtfully. "We had a...a moment, a long time ago, but now, I don't know. I think it's too soon."

"Maybe too soon to do something, but not to say what you feel," Adanna said. "It's clear to me he feels the same. Perhaps he loved her when he couldn't have you; who knows? Life is too short, Mr Black. If you love somebody you should make the most of the chance you get."

"I'm sorry about Oscar." I had already said this on the phone, but not in person since she arrived and here she was giving me advice on love when her heart must have been in agony.

"Oscar and me...we had fifty years. Met when we were just fifteen, married at eighteen; two beautiful children and three grand-babies. We made sure to enjoy every minute we had. So should you."

"Adanna, doesn't it bother you that Edward's...a man?"

"You don't pick who you fall in love with, it just happens. It doesn't matter with whom, so long as you don't ignore it or throw it away. Tell...him!"

"Adanna..."

"I apologise for speaking out, but..."

"Don't apologise," I interrupted quickly. "I guess I needed a kick up the butt. I messed up with him before; not making the most of a chance I had. You're right and I don't have anything to lose."

"So, you going out there to tell him now?" She beamed a bright white smile at me.

"No, but I have an idea. Will you make up a picnic for us please? We'll go out on the boat."

I took the jug of lemonade and went back to Edward, my heart hammering. Adanna was right; life was too short to waste wondering and I should just tell him how I felt. If he didn't want me, he would be leaving and I would get over him again, but I hoped I would get at least a slightly positive response.

"Here you go." I sat down and filled his glass, then my own. "I thought we'd go out on the boat later; Adanna's fixing some food to take with us."

"I hope everything's as good the muffins!" Edward exclaimed. He grinned widely at me and it seemed somewhat forced.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah." His smiled slipped. "I just wish I could stay. I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up for that movie. Now I'm stuck with it and the press are going to be all over me again; my parents and Bella..." He tugged a hand through his hair and glanced at me, his eyes sad.

"You can come back any time you want, you know that, right?" I said at once.

"I'd end up outstaying my welcome."

"You couldn't."

I was tempted to blurt it out there and then, but I held back and talked to him about other things while we waited for the picnic to be ready. It was late afternoon by the time we were heading up the coast on the boat and I planned to drop the anchor so that we could watch the sunset while we ate. It took only thirty minutes to reach the spot I had in mind, not far from where we had gone snorkelling. We sat down at the small table on the deck and unpacked the picnic, discovering fried chicken, sweet potatoes, salad and a fruit pie along with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I opened the bottle first and poured two glasses, thinking that it all seemed like a date. I felt ridiculously nervous and I picked at the delicious food, my appetite deserting me. Edward didn't eat much either, swallowing more wine than food and in the end I put the remainder of the meal back into the basket, drained my glass and got up.

"Come with me."

He followed me up the steps to the roof of the cabin without a word and we sat down on the smooth warm surface. Edward glanced at me from beneath lowered lashes and I reached out and took his hand in mine before I could talk myself out of it. In that moment I wondered how I had managed to get to thirty-seven years old without ever having been in a proper relationship. I'd had a sort of romance in my teens before I started acting, but it hadn't come to anything. Embry had been my best friend and we began by experimenting and then carried it on for six months or so until he decided he preferred girls. I had been crushed at the time, but I got over it in about a week. Other than that, it had been brief flings, kept secret, which was the main reason they never developed.

I took a deep breath and concentrated on what I wanted to say.

"Edward...what we talked about a few days ago..."

"It made things awkward, I know, you don't have to say anything," he interrupted.

"Yes, I do. There have been enough misunderstandings between us, most of them me just being a jerk. I told you why I stayed away from you back then, but I didn't say how I felt about it."

Edward drew his breath in sharply and held it.

"I told you I had feelings for you, but I didn't say how hard I fell, or that turning you away after that movie was one of the toughest things I ever did. I guess I thought I got over it, but having you here made me realise I still feel the same."

"Jake!" My name was a gasp as he turned to look at me, pulling his hand free and placing it on my shoulder instead. His wide green eyes were filled with a mixture of surprise, pain and hope. "Are you saying you...um...?"

"I loved you," I blurted. "Still do."

Edward just stared at me, not even breathing for a long moment before he lowered his eyes again.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that. After our movie, I guess I realised it wasn't going to happen and when I met Bella it helped me forget; at least I told myself I forgot. Being here, after we talked I hoped...I hoped something might change, but it seemed like it was too late." He leaned closer until his lips were just inches from mine. "Jacob, I lo-"

"Don't." I pressed my fingers against his lips as my heart lurched from what he had almost said. "Listen to me."

"Please, Jacob, don't do this to me again," Edward groaned.

"I'm not going to, but you have some things to do first. You need to take some time to get over everything that's happened. Only a few weeks ago you were happy with Bella, living together, maybe making plans and then suddenly she kicks you in the teeth, your parents add to the pressure and you have the press writing crap about you...it's too much all at once. You need to go back and make that movie; use the time to figure out what you really want..."

"I know what I want," Edward interrupted.

"I don't just mean me; I mean with everything else. You have things to deal with – Bella, your living arrangements..."

"My career. But it's going to take months," he sighed.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said firmly. "And I'll be at the end of the phone any time you want me."

"Ok."

He leaned closer and pressed his face into my neck. I felt his warm breath on my skin and I slid my arm around him, hugging him against me, my heart pounding. It was going to be a tough few months waiting, but at least this time something positive was going to come out of it. I silently thanked Adanna for what she had said to me, wondering if I really would have told him how I felt if she had kept quiet; probably not.

"What made you bring this up?" Edward asked, almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Adanna. She said life's too short and I should speak out before it's too late. I think I was too obvious in the way I was looking at you."

"Remind me to thank her. I wanted to say something myself, but...I guess I was too afraid you'd reject me again."

"Not going to happen."

I cupped his face with my free hand, stroking my thumb over his cheekbone until he drew his head back and met my eyes. My boy, I thought. He could be that after all; it wasn't too late. I leaned in closer and his eyelids lowered, lips parting slightly in anticipation. I brushed my lips lightly over his, barely even a touch, then pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. A soft moan left him and I returned my lips to his more firmly, caressing them, immediately treated to a warm response. I allowed myself to have just a small taste of him, teasing his lips further apart with my tongue and letting it meet his, but then I drew back reluctantly. Already my cock was straining against my zipper and it would be too easy for things to get out of hand. I told myself that he needed time; that this could be a rebound; that it would only be harder than ever to let him go tomorrow if anything happened.

We sat in silence for a while, just holding onto each other and watching the last of the glow left by the sun as it slipped away between sea and sky. Then I slowly got to my feet and pulled Edward up with me. Suddenly my appetite had returned and we went back to the table to finish the picnic, this time at ease with each other, holding hands on top of the table as we made our way through the food.

By the time we anchored the boat and took the dinghy back to the beach, it was late and Edward still needed to pack. He had far too many things now to squeeze into the small case he had brought and I gave him a larger one to use, then left him to it and went to my room. I listened to the faint sounds as he finished packing, then took a shower. I longed to join him and I lay there, my mind filling with the fantasies I had been entertaining for the past few days, until the house was silent.

I was thinking about the day when Edward was sunbathing and reading his script, lying on a rug on the lawn. I pictured him face down, wearing skimpy swim-shorts rather than the board shorts he had on that day and I stepped into the image in my head while my hand slid down my body to touch myself.

_I got up from my sun lounger and went to him, picking up the suncream to apply some to his back. Kneeling beside him, I ran slick hands up and down his spine and over his shoulders before I turned my attention to his legs. He groaned as I caressed one thigh and shifted himself slightly, parting his legs and lifting his hips up as if to release a crushed erection. I let my hand wander higher until I reached the edge of his shorts, then cupped my hand under his balls, squeezing lightly, the tips of my fingers rubbing the base of his cock._

_"Jacob, please," he groaned, pushing himself against my hand._

_"Turn over."_

_He rolled over quickly, lying back with his hands behind his head, his erection filling the tight shorts, the tip straining to escape from the top. I hooked my fingers into the skimpy garment and pulled it down and off, leaving him naked, then pushed his thighs wider apart and kneeled between them. He was perfect; the narrow line of hair on his belly leading down to neatly trimmed pubic hair, his cock rearing up eagerly, the tip glistening with pre-cum. His balls were tight at the base and he pulled his knees up either side of me, giving me a glimpse of his tight pink hole._

_Groaning, I bent over him, wrapping one hand firmly around his erection and guiding it into my mouth. He shuddered and thrust upwards, his hands curling into fists at his sides as I sucked him, following the movement of my mouth with one hand, caressing his balls with the other and occasionally stroking my fingers over his hole._

"Holy shit!" I hissed.

I was back in bed, my hand and my belly covered in cum, panting for breath and hoping I hadn't made enough noise for Edward to have heard me. I wanted him so badly and I longed to go to his room, but he didn't need that until he was clear about what he wanted. I got up quietly, cleaned myself up and got back into bed. I didn't think I would be able to sleep, but it seemed only minutes before I was opening my eyes to daylight and I guessed I must have dozed off without realising.

I got up quickly and found Edward already in the kitchen making coffee. Adanna wouldn't be here for another hour and he would be gone by then. I went to him without hesitation and slid my arms around him, pressing my chest against his back.

"Morning. Did you sleep ok?"

"Not really." He leaned back against me with a sigh. "I don't want to go."

"I know, babe." I ran my hands down his arms and noticed he was wearing the Omega watch I had bought him so long ago. "You kept it?"

"Of course I kept it. It doesn't come out very often, but I would never have parted with it."

I kissed his cheek and stepped away. "I am fucking lousy at goodbyes. Oscar would have taken you to the airport, but..."

"Will you get me a cab?" Edward asked. "I'm not good at goodbyes either. I'd probably cry all over you and then it'll be in the press."

"Sure."

I called a local cab service I used on the rare occasions I needed one and the car arrived thirty minutes later. We had made a pretence of having breakfast together, although we both pushed the toast I made around our plates and didn't eat it. I had a lump in my throat as I took Edward's case outside and put it in the trunk, then returned to the house to say goodbye to him out of sight of the driver. Neither of us said anything, but we clung to each other as if it would be the last time we saw each other. Eventually Edward pulled away, biting his lip to stop it quivering.

"Call me when you get there," I said.

"I promise."

He gave me a wobbly smile and a second later he was gone. I poured myself coffee and went to sit out on the decking. He would be back, I told myself, but my heart ached and I couldn't help wondering if his life in the spotlight or his parents or something, would keep him away from me again.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

**Edward's POV**

I was glad Jacob didn't go to the airport with me. Saying goodbye was difficult as it was and I slumped in the back of the cab, hiding behind dark glasses and biting my lip almost hard enough to draw blood to stop the tears in my eyes spilling over. Finally I could have what I had always wanted deep down and less than twenty-four hours after he told me, I was leaving. The next few months stretched interminably in front of me and my mind was filled with all the things that could go wrong in the meantime. My parents, Bella, the press, the movie, _Jacob might change his mind._ No, that last option wasn't going to happen. He admitted he had loved me for seven years; he wasn't going to suddenly move on and tell me he made a mistake. It didn't stop me worrying how we could be together though. My parents would never accept it in a million years and there was no way something like that would stay a secret from the world for long. I could see it now. _'Cheating Bella Turns Edward Cullen Gay'. _I shuddered at the thought, but the idea did give me something to think about.

Was I gay then? Jacob was the first person I ever kissed properly; the first one I got hard with; the first one to make me come and I had spent countless nights afterwards jerking off and imagining it was his hands on me. If he hadn't turned me away after our movie, I knew I would have slept with him without hesitation and yet I had spent almost three years with Bella and desired her just as much at the time. Bisexual perhaps?

I fretted in the VIP lounge over a large strong coffee, my mind flitting from what I faced to what I had left behind until First Class boarded and then much to my relief I found only one other person occupying one of the eight seats. He was already settling down as if he planned to sleep all the way to LA and he gave me only a brief glance and a nod before strapping himself in and closing his eyes. The crew clearly recognised me, but no one commented and when we were in the air, my one companion lowered his seat until it was horizontal and I found the headset for the radio, shoved the buds into my ears and closed my eyes too so that I wouldn't be disturbed.

I tried not to think too much on the journey, but it was impossible to block it out. My mind wouldn't settle down and I constantly questioned myself. I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea how it was going to work out and eventually I had to acknowledge that Jacob had been right. I wasn't ready for this. I had too many things to try to deal with all at once and plunging straight into something with him would only further complicate matters and potentially ruin any chance we had. I needed to sort my life out first, make sure I was well and truly over Bella, decide what I wanted to do with my career and not let either my parents or the press force me into a direction I didn't want to go any longer.

By the time I had collected Jacob's case from Baggage Claim and walked through Arrivals, I was exhausted, miserable and couldn't wait to get into the shower and go to bed. The watch Jacob had given me was still on Eastern Time although I guessed it would be around eight o'clock in the evening local time when I made it home. I replaced the dark glasses, tucked my head down and made my way outside, ignoring the few people who called out my name as I passed them. In minutes I was in another cab heading home and I turned my phone on to check for messages. One from Mom demanding that I call her; one from Leah asking me to call when I got home; a text message from Jacob which he had sent hours ago, probably around the time I was waiting to board the plane.

_'Have a safe flight. I love you. J.'_

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath, lowering my head further. The tears I had kept in check for hours escaped and rolled down my cheeks and my throat hurt with the effort of not breaking down and sobbing like a baby in the cab.

"You alright, Mr Cullen, Sir?" the driver asked, peering at me in the rearview.

"Fine! Drive!" I snapped.

He turned his eyes away from the mirror and ignored me after that, but I would be willing to bet on the headline for tomorrow's news. _'Edward Cullen Returns From Barbados in Tears'._

Finally I was letting myself into my property through the personnel gate, relieved that for once no one was camping out with a camera hoping to catch sight of me. I guessed it would take a little time for the news that I was back in the country to filter to the likes of Seth Clearwater, or at least as long as it took the cab driver to call someone. I walked up the driveway to the house, relieved that it was in complete darkness. On the journey I'd had too much on my mind to even consider that Bella might be home, but the thought had come to me as I paid the cab fare and I dreaded having to face her right now, when all I wanted to do was collapse and sleep.

I couldn't bring myself to call my parents there and then and I sent my mother a text instead, telling her I was home, but jet-lagged and I would call her in the morning. I sent a similar message to Leah and then looked at my watch again. It was approaching midnight in Barbados, but I knew Jacob would want to hear from me, even if I had arrived home at three or four in the morning. I began tapping out a text, my hand shaking, but it seemed too little and I deleted it quickly. I needed to hear his voice.

"Edward?" He answered before the phone had finished its first peel and I wondered if he had been staring at it, waiting for me to call.

"Hey...um...I wanted to let you know I'm home." My voice sounded strangled and I paced around the kitchen, tugging my free hand through my hair.

"How was your flight?"

"Tiring. I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed."

"I won't keep you, then," he said softly.

"I just...I wanted to hear your voice," I whispered, scrubbing a hand impatiently over my wet cheeks. Damnit, I wanted more than to hear his voice. I wanted to feel his arms around me and it was going to be far too long before I would.

"I know, me too. You'll be ok, Edward. Call me any time you want; I won't call you too much, I know you're going to be tied up with things."

"Thanks, I will. I'll...um...I'll call tomorrow," I promised.

I ended the call reluctantly and headed upstairs, unfastening my shirt as I went. I stripped off and threw my clothes into the corner of my bathroom, then stepped into the shower and stood there under the hot water in the darkness, finally letting myself cry properly, the sound of the cascading water disguising my sobs and washing my tears away, leaving me completely drained. Thirty minutes later I was in bed, drifting off almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

When I opened my eyes again it was bright daylight and a glance at my watch, which I was still wearing, showed me it was one o'clock. I groaned and stretched before I realised I hadn't actually slept for more than twelve hours - I just hadn't reset the time, which I did now. It was ten and I could hear sounds downstairs; Bridget starting work, no doubt, a little later than usual. I got up and found some clothes to put on, opening the suitcase rather than the wardrobe and choosing cream cotton pants and a brightly coloured shirt. I wasn't planning on going anywhere for the moment and the cheap, casual clothes made me feel slightly better.

I headed downstairs barefoot to get some coffee and greet Bridget and discovered that it wasn't my housekeeper moving around in the kitchen, but Bella. She had switched on the coffee maker and was looking in the practically empty refrigerator, presumably for milk. For a moment I felt as if all the air had been sucked out of my lungs and I gasped helplessly, leaning against the wall beside the door.

"Edward!" She turned around and her eyes widened as she took in my appearance. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"What are you doing here?" I responded.

"I live here, remember?" She bit her lip and swept her hair back from her face. "Look, I got back yesterday, but my Aunt met me from the plane so I've been with her. I heard you were home and I wanted to come talk to you; to work out where we go from here."

"Who told you I was back?" I frowned.

"The Globe?" She picked up the folded newspaper from the kitchen counter and held it up for me to see. The headline was almost exactly what I had envisioned.

_'Broken Edward Returns to LA'._

"God," I muttered, squeezing my eyes shut for a second.

"Are you alright?" Bella asked.

"Yeah."

"I really am sorry, you know. I completely fucked up. I do love you and I promise, it was only one time. I don't even know what I was thinking. Sam Uley means nothing to me, Edward, it's you that I want. You that I want to spend my life with. Please..."

She had crossed the room without me noticing and now she rested her hands on my chest and tucked her face into my neck.

"I missed you so much. I guess I didn't expect you to just take off somewhere."

I took a step back quickly, creating a gap between us again. My heart was racing and I wasn't sure how to feel. I was still hurt from what she did and I couldn't deny that she felt familiar, almost comforting when she briefly rested against me, but I was sure of one thing and that was that I didn't want to go back. I had told her it was over when I called her from Barbados and I'd been moving on from it, but she was acting as if nothing had happened.

"I told you it's over," I reminded her.

"I know. I hoped you would have second thoughts. I hoped we would be able to talk properly when you came back. I know how much I hurt you and I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you, Edward, if you'll just give me a chance. However long it takes, whatever you want from me, I'll do it."

"Bella...I can't do this," I sighed. "You can't just sleep with another man and then imagine I can get over it and carry on as before. If you loved me as much as you say you do, it would never have happened, regardless of the circumstances. We need to make a clean break and get on with our own lives."

"Maybe if I just give you some more time," she said, tearfully now. "There must be a way we can work it out. Almost three years, Edward; do you really want to throw that away? I thought we were for keeps. I thought..."

"Well, so did I!" I snapped suddenly. "You thought it was for keeps? What exactly were you thinking when Sam was pounding you into the mattress, huh? What were you thinking when you fucking kissed him in a public park? You're not a stupid woman, Bella, you must have known you'd be seen!"

"I wasn't thinking about that," she sniffed.

"So you were so caught up in the moment with him, you just _had_ to kiss him right there and then. I have to wonder why you're even trying to fix this. You say you love me, but isn't a big part of it the fact that the press is calling you a tramp and your fans are threatening to boycott your movie? If I forgive you and it all blows over, 'the Golden Couple' are happy again and so is everybody else. Did you decide it would be better for your career to try to make it up with me, or did your manager tell you to?"

"Edward!" Bella wailed. "I can't believe you'd think that of me! I _love_ you! I made a _mistake!_ One that I sincerely regret. I've never done anything like that before and I never will again. You're _everything_ to me and...and..." She paused and lifted her shirt to wipe her face. "There's something else. I need to tell you something..."

"I don't want to hear any more!" I shouted. "I went to Barbados to get away from all of this shit! I told you on the phone we were finished and I've been starting to get over it. I have a hell of a lot on my mind and I can't take any more lies and promises, Bella. Please, just give me some space."

"You want me to leave? All my things are here," she wept.

"I'm not asking you to leave, I bought this house for us both, but I'll move into a hotel. I'll be starting filming soon anyway and I'll be on set a lot of the time."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I get it, Bella. You're sorry, but it doesn't change things."

Shock at finding her in the house and anger over her continuing to assume we would go back to the way we were had kept me going, but now I felt as if I might join her in tears and I left the room quickly and ran back upstairs to find socks, shoes, wallet, phone and anything else I thought I might need. I didn't bother packing to go to a hotel right away, but I intended to do that later. Right now, I just needed to get away from her and do some of the things that needed taking care of.

Marcus wasn't around as I'd told him I would simply call him when I needed him to come back to work, so I took the keys to one of the nondescript cars I kept and drove myself, heading first to Leah's place and hoping she would be home. I hadn't bothered to call and she could well be meeting one of her other clients at this time of day, but I was in luck when I arrived. She was home alone and in the process of making some coffee.

"Nice shirt," she said in greeting.

"Thanks."

"Are you alright?" she asked with concern as she handed me a large mugful of strong coffee and invited me to help myself to cream and sugar.

"No, not really. Did you know Bella's home?"

"I guessed. She flew in yesterday. How was Barbados?"

"It was what I needed."

I sank onto her sofa and wondered how much to tell her. She was probably my only confidante in LA. I couldn't really picture myself telling Jasper that I wanted to be with a guy; at least not yet.

"How's Jacob?" Leah prompted.

"Um..."

I hadn't made up my mind what to say, but I immediately felt my face heating up and I knew that I was turning scarlet. Leah raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"I...um...I never told you I had a crush on him, did I?" I said.

"No, but I kind of guessed that much when you were so determined to work on that movie with him and then you were practically joined at the hip for the duration. When it was over and he quit, you were...devastated."

"Fuck, I didn't think I was that obvious," I groaned.

"You weren't; I have a sixth sense, Edward, you know that. That was a long time ago though."

"I accepted it was only ever going to be a dream and moved on, but I didn't exactly forget," I admitted.

"Something happened in Barbados?"

"We talked."

_"Only_ talked?" Leah smirked and lifted her eyebrow again.

"Yes. It's too soon for anything else; I have too much shit to sort out here, but later...he still cares for me." I grinned suddenly.

_'I loved you. Still do.' _

"You know that's probably the first time I've seen a genuine smile on your face in months," Leah said. "If he makes you look like that, then don't throw it away."

"I won't."

"So you must have had plenty of time to think while you were there," she commented. "About everything else."

"I came to some decisions," I nodded. "I just have to figure out how to get what I want. My parents will be the biggest problem, I imagine."

"You're going to walk away, aren't you?" she asked slowly. "Like Jacob did?"

I nodded. "I can't do it any more, Leah. You know I've never been happy in this life. I should have done it before I went away, but everything was just coming at me from all sides and I signed that contract without thinking it through properly."

"I'll be sorry to lose you as a client, but don't think you're going to lose me as a friend," Leah said at once. "I'll help you as much as I can, but afterwards...any time you want somebody to talk to, I'll be here."

"Thanks."

"So tell me..." She cleared her throat loudly and sniffed. "Did you really read that script or did you get a shock when you found out what was in it?"

"You picked up on that, huh? I almost wished I'd agreed to let Dad get me out of it, but then I figured I was going to do something for myself, however hard I might find it. I wish I didn't have that jerk, Lahote, as a co-star though, and Bella's Uncle Charlie as my Dad...ugh."

We chatted about the movie for a while and Leah told me I would be meeting with Rosalie Hale and some of the cast the following week. She also had a date for the premier of the last movie I'd starred in and a schedule of appearances I would have to make across the States and around the world with my father. I realised I hadn't thought about any of this during my stay with Jacob and now I only felt worse about everything I had to get through before I could even think about what we could be to each other. I couldn't walk away before I'd fulfilled my duties, including those related to 'The Chains That Bind Us', which I hadn't even started filming yet. It could be as long as _a year._

"When do you think I should tell people?" I asked eventually. "Not now, obviously, but..."

"After the wrap party would be as good a time as any," Leah said. "If you're serious about this..."

"I am."

"When that's done, I'll set up a press conference for you. You'll get a lot more attention at the premiers for your Dad's movie obviously and Carlisle's going to hate it since you'll be there together. It'll increase the box office takings by a good margin though, he won't be able to complain about that. Don't worry about it too much yet, Edward, we'll figure out what you're going to say nearer the time."

"Yeah, I'm not going to say anything to my parents until the last minute. I know they'll try to talk me out of it and make me feel guilty, but this time I have to do what's right for me. Actually..." I glanced at my watch again. "I better visit them, they're pretty pissed about me going to Barbados, more because of me being with Jacob than anything."

"What do they actually know?" Leah wondered.

"My mother caught us kissing on my eighteenth birthday. They thought it was all him taking advantage and banned him from seeing me or coming around to the house. That's why I was so determined to do 'The Last Train'. It was the only chance I got to see him, but then in the end he didn't want me like that. At least that's what he said. He backed off because of my career and my parents, thinking it was better for me."

"Jeez," Leah muttered, shaking her head. "Your parents have a lot to answer for. They've always manipulated you, Edward..."

"I know."

"Don't let it happen again. You seem to know what you want. It's time you went your own way and did what makes you happy."

"I know," I repeated. "I plan to."

I wasn't surprised to find two photographers lurking outside Leah's gate when I left and for once, I gave them a cheery wave and a smile as I drove past, wondering what story they would make out of it for tomorrow's news.

I drove straight to my parents' house and found them both home. Dad's animation project didn't require his attention for the present and Mom had nothing on until a new series of a sit-com she starred in started in the New Year. I greeted Mom with a hug and kissed the air next to her cheek as always, ignoring the looks of distaste on both of their faces as they took in what I was wearing. I accepted the offer of more coffee from their housekeeper and sat in one of the armchairs.

"Will you let me speak first?" I asked. "I know you're...annoyed with me for a number of reasons, but I need to explain things and let you know what my plans are."

Dad frowned, but nodded and surprisingly Mom kept her mouth shut.

"I know you don't like the movie I chose, but I have to make my own choices. I can't be part of everything you're doing, Dad, even if I wanted to. 'The Chains That Bind Us' might not be something you want for me, but it'll be a challenge. It's time I did something different; played a completely different character."

"A character like _Jacob Black?"_ Mom exclaimed.

"Esme," Dad admonished.

"Please, leave Jacob out of this," I said. "Mom, like I said on the phone, he's my friend. I'm twenty-five years old, you can't tell me who I can and can't associate with any more. I know you don't like the fact that he's gay..."

"I don't like the fact that he put his hands on you when you were still a child! Tried to corrupt you...!"

"Esme! Let him speak, will you?"

I was somewhat taken aback by Dad; I had expected him to be the one spitting out comments, condemning my decisions and trying to bully me, but for once he seemed inclined to listen. Mom fell silent and stared at me, tight-lipped.

"I'm sorry if the decisions I make aren't what you would like, but I can't live my life in your shoes. If I'm completely honest, I haven't been happy for a long time; the only thing that really did make me happy was Bella and that's over now. Don't even try interfering in that; I'll never be able to trust her again and if she's getting bad press, she only has herself to blame. I've just let all of you push me in directions I haven't wanted to go by making me feel guilty, like I owe you..."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Mom said.

This time Dad didn't ask her to be quiet.

"We've always thought we were doing what was best for you," she went on. "In some ways we were, but perhaps we shouldn't have been so...controlling."

"I still don't like the idea of this Rosalie Hale movie," Dad said. "She's unheard of..."

"Not for much longer," I interrupted.

"We're not particularly happy about the image it portrays either."

"You mean a young man, doing his best to please his family, feeling he can't make his own choices and finally stepping out and making his own life?"

"Hmm."

"Look, I'm doing the movie. Maybe there are some things in it that I'm going to struggle with, but it'll be good for me, so I hope you'll both respect that."

After a pause they both nodded slowly and Dad agreed that either of them making it known they didn't like my choice would look bad. It dawned on me that what seemed like acceptance was once again probably only the pair of them thinking about what the press would say, what the public would think, if Edward Cullens' parents actively disapproved of his new movie. My fans would probably like whatever I did and they would support me over Carlisle and Esme the way they had with Bella. I realised that strangely, in my own way I had manipulated them, but it didn't give me any satisfaction. I just felt sad that my parents' love and support was directed by image as it always had been.

When I left I called Marcus from the car to tell him I would need him to drive me from the house to a hotel and he promised to be there in an hour. I ignored the photographers as I drove through the gateway and returned the car to the garages, then let myself into the house. I went straight up to the bedroom, repacked Jacob's case and a second one that I pulled out from beneath the bed and then carried the two down to the hallway. Marcus had already arrived and I could see him sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee while he waited for me to be ready. I left the cases by the door and went into the lounge where I knew I would find Bella. I could hear the muted sound of the television and she was curled up on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt, her hair mussed and her face tear-stained. She got to her feet quickly and faced me.

"You're going?"

"Yes."

"I wish you'd stay; at least to talk."

"I can't be here, Bella, we need to keep out of each other's way," I said.

"I wanted to tell you something earlier. I know it probably won't mean anything to you now, but I guess I hope...that maybe you'll reconsider when you've had some...time..."

Fresh tears rolled down her face and I sighed heavily.

"What is it, Bella?"

"I'm pregnant."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

**Edward's POV**

"How?" I heard myself ask.

_How? _What kind of question was that?

"I mean...how do you know?"

"I did a test. Two actually. I was late, so..."

"How late?"

"Six weeks. My period should have started the week after we last saw each other; slept together."

"We've always been careful."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to get my thoughts in order. I had only slept with Bella once in about the last three or four months due to our filming schedule. She had flown in for my wrap party and that had been seven weeks ago. We had been desperate to escape the party and get to the hotel room, to spend the little time that we had alone. We ordered food, undressed, made love on the bed; I knew I had used a condom, I always did. Then we took a bath, lazed around soaking and talking, kissing, touching, Bella sat on my lap, teasing me, rubbing herself against me while I wondered if I really wanted to push her off and go fetch another rubber.

_"One time won't matter."_

"Fuck," I said under my breath.

"It was that time in the bath," Bella said as if she'd read my mind.

"How do you know it's not Sam's?" I asked.

"Because we didn't do it without protection."

I sighed heavily. How could I trust her? If she could sleep with another man, I couldn't be sure she was being honest now. She might not even be pregnant at all. Perhaps it was a last ditch attempt to stop me walking out the door.

"Edward, I have a scan the day after tomorrow; you could go with me," she said in a small voice. "It'll show the exact date."

I nodded numbly. A scan couldn't lie and then maybe I would have to accept that a careless few minutes would change my future and not in the way I had hoped. _What the hell would Jacob think? _I groaned aloud. I would have to tell him and the sooner the better because something like this wouldn't stay out of the press for very long.

"Does anybody else know?" I asked.

Bella shook her head. "I wanted to tell you first. I'm sorry, Edward. I know this isn't something you wanted to hear, especially now."

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?" I asked.

"There's no way I would get rid of it. You probably think this is just some stunt to try to get you to stay with me, but it's not, I promise. I hoped we could have worked through this, but if it's not possible, then I won't expect anything from you, but I hope you'll want to be involved in some way."

"I need some time to think," I said shakily. "I'll come to the scan with you and then we'll talk. When is it?"

"Ten o'clock, the day after tomorrow. Are you still going to a hotel?"

"Yes," I said firmly. "Marcus will drive us to the hospital."

"Ok. Thank you, Edward."

I had Marcus take me to a hotel, picking one at random. It wasn't as if I would be there very long, with the promotional tour for 'Defeated' looming ahead. Ironically the title of Dad's last movie seemed like another advertisement for my own life. I barely noticed what the room was like, only that it was large and had both a bedroom and a living room, coffee making facilities, a minibar and a jacuzzi bath in the en suite. I dumped my cases, thinking that I would unpack later and sat down on the sofa, pulling out my phone. My heart was banging against my ribs and I felt a little sick.

Bella was pregnant! If she was going for a scan that had to be true, but was it really mine? It was about a week after the wrap party that the photo of her and Sam had been in the paper, but that didn't mean anything. Maybe she was with him right before she came to me, or immediately after. But if it _was_ mine, what the hell was I going to do about it? Give her money and turn my back? Let it grow up without a father? Or give up what I had only just found and stay where I was, doing the right thing?

"Jacob," I whispered. "I can't lose you again."

It took me another thirty minutes to actually call him. How could I tell him the news and reassure him that it wouldn't make any difference when I didn't even know what I was going to do? How would I feel if what she said was true and I found myself a father in a few months' time?

"Edward?" He sounded happy to hear from me when he answered and I dragged a hand through my hair and grimaced.

"Hey, Jacob."

"Are you alright?" he asked quickly. "You sound...I don't know...tense."

"I had some news. I...um...listen, I want you to know there's no chance that I'm going to get back together with Bella. After I made that decision, I started to look forward; to get over it. It still hurt, but I knew I'd never be able to trust her again. Then when we talked before I left...all I've been thinking about since I got on the plane is how much I want to be with you. I..." I knew I was babbling and I broke off.

"Edward, what happened?"

"Bella told me she's pregnant."

"Fuck," Jacob muttered. "You believe her?"

"She has a scan the day after tomorrow."

"Do you think it's yours?"

"I have no idea. She says so and I know there's a chance it could be. I'm sorry."

"Hell, Edward, don't apologise, you haven't done anything wrong," Jacob said. "They can do tests, you know, to confirm if you're the father."

"I know, but not until it's born, I don't think."

"When did she tell you?"

"A couple of hours ago. I was leaving, I thought it was just to try and make me stay at first."

"Leaving? Where are you?"

"I'm in a hotel. I bought the house for us both and she's home, so I moved out."

I could almost hear his sigh of relief and I changed the subject, telling him I had already made some big decisions, had a discussion with my parents and told Leah I intended to quit after 'The Chains That Bind Us' was done.

"You're certain it's what you want?" he asked.

"I only wish I'd done it sooner. If I'd spent more time thinking I would never have signed up for another movie, but now I'm stuck with it for months, maybe even as much as a year before I can leave it behind."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," Jacob said firmly. "If you decide I'm what you want, then I'll be here when you're ready."

"I already know you're what I want," I said. "I told Leah."

"You did?"

"Yeah, she said you put a smile on my face that she hadn't seen in a long time and I shouldn't throw it away." I grinned at the thought. "Jacob, you know the press are going to have a field day with all of this; Bella, I mean. I intend to keep quiet, but they're bound to make up all kinds of shit and hell knows what she'll tell them."

"You're worried I'll read something that'll make me change my mind? That's not going to happen. I told you I love you. Let them print what they like; I've seen it all before. If you tell me you don't feel the same about me, then that's a different matter, but otherwise I'll be waiting."

"I love you too," I choked out. "You wouldn't let me say it before I left and I know why, but now I am saying it. I felt the same years ago, I just buried it when I thought you didn't want me. I guess I just didn't bury it very well and it doesn't matter how many other things I have to sort out; I know what I feel and I'm still going to feel the same regardless of what else happens."

"Edward...fuck, I wish I was with you right now," Jacob groaned. "I'd kiss you until you couldn't breathe."

"Hold that thought until we see each other," I said thickly.

Neither of us spoke for a long moment and then I heard his voice again, warm and encouraging, asking me more about how things went with my parents and what Leah had planned for me. We talked for an hour and when I hung up, at last I felt a little better; actually a lot better. I had to face the possibility that Bella was going to have my baby, travel around the world making appearances with my father, then make a movie I really wasn't looking forward to, not to mention the shit the press were going to throw at me throughout, but if Jacob was there - for the first time in years he was right at the end of the phone when I needed him, telling me he loved me - I would get through it.

The following day I didn't do a great deal. I hid in my hotel room, talked to Jacob and Leah on the phone and I called Jasper to discuss the movie and everything else that had been going on. I didn't tell him about the developments with Jacob, of course, but I did tell him Bella was pregnant.

"Well, I guess she must be if she's taking you along to the scan," he said. "I bet there's a chance you're not the father, though. You better insist on a DNA test, Ed."

"I've thought of that. She says it couldn't be Sam's, but she started off by saying she never slept with him, so I won't believe anything until I have proof."

Jacob called to talk again just before nine and my heart jumped when I saw his name on my phone's screen. He had said he wouldn't call much because I had so much going on, but he knew I was doing nothing that day. I was in fact sprawling on the king size bed reading the movie script and wondering how I was going to get it on with Paul Lahote and make it look like I was enjoying it. I didn't want to kiss anybody other than Jacob, even in front of a camera, and the scene I was reading extended to a lot more than kissing. It seemed worse than the first time I had read it, now that I longed for him so much when he was thousands of miles away. I threw the script aside and talked to him for another hour before I went to bed, taking a sleeping pill to knock me out, knowing that otherwise I would toss and turn all night worrying about the scan.

All too soon it was morning and I was gulping coffee in an effort to wake up, diving into the shower, dragging on jeans and a shirt. I knew Marcus would be outside the hotel by now with Bella and probably with a bunch of paps hanging around awaiting my appearance. I hadn't bothered to check the news this morning, but I was sure there would be something about me arriving at the hotel, making it obvious that a reconciliation with Bella wasn't on the cards just yet.

Several cameras clicked and flashed as I ran from the lobby to the car and got in, not caring what I looked like. I had been dragging my hands through my hair and hadn't bothered to shave, but when I got in the car I was surprised to find Bella looking much the same; tangled hair, no make up, dark rings around her eyes and wearing the same sweats she'd had on yesterday coupled with one of my shirts.

"Why are you wearing that?" I frowned.

"I wanted to wear something...comforting."

I turned my head away with a sigh. I didn't want to be her source of comfort; I needed some of my own.

Marcus drove us to the front door of the private clinic where Bella had arranged her scan and I inwardly groaned as I saw the huge sign above announcing that it was a maternity department. I hadn't missed the car following us since we left the hotel and knew it would be the press, eager to know where the estranged Golden Couple were headed.

It was five minutes to ten when we walked in and we weren't kept waiting. Soon we were in a private room, Bella lying on the bed with her flat stomach covered in gel, the monitor nearby beeping with a rapid heartbeat and the fuzzy picture showing something which could have been a peanut.

"Congratulations, Ms Swan, Mr Cullen," the doctor said. "You have a healthy little one here."

"When...will it be born?" Bella asked.

We were given a date the following March and Bella went on to hesitantly ask if they could determine the exact conception date. I listened numbly, not sure how I felt as the answer came. They could establish the date within a three-day window, the middle day being the date of the wrap party. There was a good chance the baby was mine and Bella's face was suddenly glowing, maybe with relief or maybe excitement - I couldn't tell. She was happy and I was...confused. My mouth was dry, my heart hammered against my ribs and I wiped sweaty palms on my pants legs. Was I really going to be a father?

"Edward, are you ok? It's good news, isn't it?" Bella was sitting up, her legs dangling off of the edge of the bed, grabbing my hands.

"Mmm..."

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, not in front of the doc anyway. Bella asked for a photograph of the peanut and then she was given what I imagined was the usual advice about not drinking or smoking, not eating certain things, increasing the intake of some foods. My mind drifted forward seven months to the baby's birth. If it was mine, what would I do? It wasn't the first time I had asked myself that, but now it was more real; I had seen it for myself on the monitor and I knew that if that tiny little person really was mine, I couldn't walk away from it.

I left the clinic in a daze, Bella's hands tucked through my arm almost tugging me to the car, pausing as Marcus opened the door for us, giving the photographers a chance to get a few more pictures.

"Edward! Visiting a maternity clinic...happy news perhaps?"

It was Seth Clearwater's voice and I clenched my teeth.

"Are you pregnant, Bella? Does this mean you two are back together?"

"Go away, Seth," Bella said.

"Aww, come on, Bella, this is just what your fans will love. Your little indiscretion in the past, all loved up with Edward again and a baby on the way. Just a yes or a no...?"

"Bella, get in the car," I growled.

"It has to be a yes, right? What was it? First scan? Did you get a picture?"

"Yes, alright!" Bella exclaimed, diving into the car ahead of me.

Marcus slammed the door and I slumped back in the seat with a sigh.

"What did you say that for? Can't you keep your mouth shut?"

"I'm sorry, Edward, but what does it matter? They're going to print that I am anyway and it'll be obvious in a few more weeks."

"I guess."

"Aren't you even a little bit happy?" she pressed. "I saw the way you were looking at the monitor, kind of dazed. Hearing the heartbeat was just...amazing. To think that's actually another person inside me; a little bit of each of us."

"I don't know how I feel," I said honestly. "If it really is mine, though, I won't ignore it. I'll be there."

"Thank you," Bella whispered. "That's all I want."

I said nothing more and Marcus left me at the hotel before taking Bella home. I called Leah first to tell her the news, but I got her answer machine and left a message. Then I called my mother. I didn't want my parents reading about Bella's pregnancy in the papers the next day, but I dreaded breaking this particular bit of news to them. However, she wasn't home and her cellphone was off, so all I could do was leave a message for them too. Finally I called Jacob, but I didn't reach him either and it was eventually Jasper that I talked to. He was at a loose end and came over to the hotel to hang out with me, encouraging me to raid the minibar and drown my worries while he reminded me that a three-day window was a pretty big time period and that it was perfectly feasible that Bella had been with Sam at that time too.

"Come on, Ed, you're not seriously going to turn to mush and go into daddy mode after seeing one scan, are you?" he said. "How are you going to feel if you get a DNA test done and it's not yours?"

He was right, but I still felt confused and I let him help me forget it all with a mixture of odd cocktails made from the assortment of bottles in the minibar. I must have eventually passed out on the couch and when I woke with an agonising headache and a mouth that felt like I'd been eating the contents of a vacuum cleaner, I saw a forest of bottles on the table in front of me, several plates of half-eaten room service and Jasper snoring his head off on the bed through the open doorway. I struggled to my feet and switched the coffee machine on, then headed for the shower, shedding items of clothing as I went.

Jasper slept through me showering, hunting clothes out of one of my cases and making coffee and eventually stirred enough to crawl into the bathroom and begin vomiting noisily, the sound making me feel like doing the same myself. When he eventually joined me he looked as ghastly as I felt.

"Maybe the cocktails weren't such a good idea, huh," he croaked.

"You look like shit, Jas."

"Yeah, thanks, you should look in the mirror."

My cellphone began to ring and I picked it up from the table, noting it was Leah calling and realising that it was almost lunch time and I hadn't actually talked to anybody yesterday. They would all have seen the papers by now and whatever story they had decided to make up.

"Hey, Leah."

"Edward! Why didn't you tell me?" she exclaimed. "Have you seen the papers this morning? I'm guessing most of it's bullshit as usual."

"What? I haven't seen them. I...um...I just woke up. I called yesterday, left you a message?"

"Sorry, I haven't checked them, it's been hectic here. Anyway, it's noon, Edward and you just woke up? What have you been doing?"

"Jasper came over, we had a bit of a...party," I grimaced.

"Jesus, didn't you learn your lesson the last time?"

"Leah, just tell me the worst."

"You're back together with Bella, celebrating that she's expecting, putting the past behind you, blah blah. The picture doesn't really argue with that, Edward."

"Fuck," I groaned. "I'll check it out in a minute and call you later, ok?"

When she hung up, I dragged my hands through my still damp hair with a groan. I had left my laptop at the house; I was going to have to call room service and get a paper and I really needed to talk to Jacob. I felt a little sick as I thought about him reading the latest news. He had said he wouldn't believe what they printed and would be there for me unless I said I didn't want him, but how bad exactly was this article?

"Jasper, sorry to kick you out, but I need to do some stuff," I said, grabbing the hotel phone.

I requested a copy of the Globe and a cooked breakfast, realising that I had eaten virtually nothing the previous day and although I didn't have much of an appetite, I wouldn't make it through the day without some form of sustenance. By the time it arrived, Jasper was still in the shower and I opened out the paper before I tackled the food. We were on the front page, the bold headline stretching halfway across and the photo maybe four or five inches square. It showed us heading out of the clinic, the sign clearly visible above our heads, Bella's hands clutching my arm, her face angled up towards me, smiling. My head was ducked down, my face mostly obscured, but it looked as if I was responding to something she might have been saying, or maybe smiling back at her.

_'Happy News Reunites Troubled Stars'._

"Shit." I didn't even want to read the article, but I did so anyway, grimacing and swearing repeatedly.

_'Edward Cullen and Bella Swan visited the Maternity Unit of the Ocean Clinic yesterday, receiving the joyous news of a little one on the way. Leaving the clinic with linked arms and happy smiles, the pair confirmed that Bella is indeed expecting and it seems that this development has helped them put the past firmly behind them and look towards a golden future again._

_'Edward didn't comment, but his attendance at the clinic and closeness with Bella clearly showed he has forgiven his love's embarrassing moment with Sam Uley and is looking forward to getting their relationship back on track as they anticipate welcoming a little son or daughter early next year.'_

The article went on and on, even commenting on the fact that Bella had apparently been wearing one of my shirts, and there were several other pictures taken at various times during the past year, showing Bella and me holding hands or in each other's arms, looking happy and in love.

"Fuck, they really went to town," Jasper said from behind me.

"Yeah."

"I'll get out of your hair. Call any time you want, otherwise I'll see you at the meeting Monday."

In a moment Jasper was gone and my phone was ringing again; my mother this time. I let the answer service get it and instead, I called Jacob. What if he believed what the paper said this time? He was well used to the press and their lies, but that photograph just made it look as if everything might be true. His phone rang and rang and eventually I gave up. There was no opportunity for me to leave a message and instead I sent him a text asking him to call me, then I paced the room, anxiously raking my fingers through my hair and trying to decide what to do next.

Eventually I decided to go home, collect my computer and talk to Bella about the situation. We hadn't really discussed it after the scan and I wanted to attempt to persuade her not to talk to the press any more for the time being. I wouldn't put it past her to use the opportunity to rekindle favour with the public by saying whatever she thought would show her in the best light. The news of the baby hadn't softened my feelings towards her, I realised, despite my decision to support her. What Jasper had said to me was stuck in my mind and I wondered if it really was possible that she had been with Sam either right before she left Vancouver to come to my wrap party, or as soon as she got back.

I took a cab back to the house, ignoring the press waiting in front of the hotel and staying silent when the driver tried talking to me about my 'wonderful news'. I kept my phone in my hand, hoping Jacob would call me back, but it remained mute on the journey and I shoved it into my pocket as I arrived at the house and let myself in. I closed the door quietly and immediately heard a loud male voice bellowing from the direction of the kitchen.

"What the hell is this shit, Bella? You told me it was mine!"


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

**Edward's POV**

I froze in the hallway, on the point of rushing to the kitchen to confront Bella, but realising quickly I may have a chance to find out more. I held my breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

"I'm sorry, Sam, I've been trying to call you..." Bella's voice sounded tearful. "I wanted to talk to you before it was in the paper."

"When did you sleep with him? You told me he hadn't been near you in months!" the man growled. "Was it when you went back for that party?"

"Yes, I thought...I guess I hoped maybe we could fix things. I didn't want to throw it away after nearly three years."

"This is just bullshit," Sam spat. "You told me you were in love with me! It seems like you tell everybody whatever it suits you to say at the time, to get the best deal, or whatever looks better in the press. Of course...your fans are all going to forget about you cheating if suddenly you're back together with Cullen and having his baby, aren't they?"

My phone rang and I cursed silently as I shoved my hand into my pocket and switched it off. I felt sick and now I had to deal with both of them at once. The one thing ringing in my head was that Bella had apparently told Sam she loved him, which meant there was no way it was a one-off heat of the moment romp. I took a deep breath and strode down the hall to the kitchen before either of them could emerge.

Bella was standing in the corner by the refrigerator, still looking untidy and tangled, her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes red and swollen. Sam stood in the middle of the room, fists clenched at his sides, facing me as I halted in the doorway.

"How much did you hear?" Bella asked in a small voice.

"Enough. I think the first part was 'you told me it was mine'," I said through my teeth. "Sam Uley, right?"

The man nodded and grunted my name. I didn't know quite what to expect, but he looked embarrassed and almost apologetic.

"How long?" I glanced at Bella and back at him.

"Three months."

Bella groaned and closed her eyes.

"Look...Cullen...um...I don't know what to say," Sam began, avoiding looking at me directly. "I'm sure I can imagine what you think of me and I doubt you'll believe anything I say..."

"Try me," I prompted grittily. I folded my arms and gripped my own elbows in an effort to stop my hands shaking. I hated confrontations, but I wasn't going to walk away from this one until I'd seen it through. At least the man didn't appear to be looking for a fight.

"I don't do this shit," he went on. "We hung out because of the movie..."

"Sam, for God's sake, Edward doesn't want to hear the details," Bella interrupted.

"Shut up, Bella!" Sam shouted.

"I think you should leave us to talk," I added. "Go upstairs."

"Edward..." She sighed heavily and then pushed herself out of the corner and hurried out of the room. I closed the door and leaned on it.

"You were saying?"

"Bella always seemed to be miserable off-set. She said she felt like she was losing you and that even the times you did get to spend together, you ignored her. She thought...she _said_ she thought you and your family didn't think she was good enough for you, she was lonely, you were never home, she'd done everything she could to try and make it work...she said it was only a matter of time before you broke up. Maybe she just wanted a bit of fun, I don't know."

"Who knows what goes on in Bella's head?" I sighed. "Were you...together within thirty-six hours of the wrap party, either side?"

"Yeah, right after she got back." He grimaced and rubbed a hand over his face. "Before you ask, no, we didn't use anything."

"It could be your baby then. When did she tell you?"

"About a month ago. She started getting sick and did a test."

I wasn't sure whether to believe what Sam had told me or not. He seemed genuine enough; in fact he looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him, but I'd been lied to enough by Bella and not inclined to trust someone I didn't know. Then again, what he had said about her had shown her in an even worse light, indicating she had made up a sob story in order to seduce him.

"I am really sorry, man," he said then. "I wouldn't have gone near her if I'd thought you were still in the picture. Stealing another guy's woman isn't my thing. I don't expect you to trust me, but there it is. I don't intend to see her again except for promoting the movie."

"What about if the baby turns out to be yours?"

"I don't know. I'd pay, I don't know about anything else."

"Well, we're going to have to wait until it's born and have a DNA test done. You'd be willing?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Of course, although it'll probably be fairly obvious if it's mine." Sam was a Native and a particularly dark one at that. "Can I ask what she told you? About me, I mean?" he asked.

I frowned and unfolded my arms, shoving my hands into my pockets. I certainly didn't owe him anything, but I supposed I would have wanted to know too. If he loved her, which he apparently had done, he must be feeling as lousy as I had when I saw the picture of them together.

"She said the photo of you was just a one-off, a spur of the moment kiss and nothing else. Later she admitted she slept with you one time and it didn't mean anything."

"I'm sorry," Sam said again with a sigh and I found myself shrugging.

"I can't really bring myself to be pissed at you, if what you say is true and it does seem to make sense."

The man nodded and relaxed slightly. "I'm gonna get out of your way."

I stepped away from the door and he exited quickly. I hadn't seen a car and I supposed he would have to face the press at the gate while he hailed a cab. I stayed where I was, thinking. I felt drained and sad, strangely unsurprised by the extent of Bella's lies and much less hurt than I expected. I was well on my way to being over her and this latest news had been like a bucket of cold water over what remained of my feelings. I walked out into the hall and found her on her way down the stairs.

"Edward..."

"Don't say anything. I don't want to hear any more."

"You're just going to believe whatever he told you?"

"I'm not going to discuss it. I'm going back to the hotel," I said decidedly. "I don't want to hear from you. If you have anything to tell me, you can call Leah and ask her to pass a message on."

"But..." Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks and I wondered at her ability to switch them on like a tap whenever the occasion called for it.

"That's all I have to say."

"What about the baby?"

"When it's born, there will be a DNA test regardless of its colouring. Then we'll decide what happens from then on."

She didn't answer and I walked out, grimacing as I remembered I had arrived in a cab. However, Marcus could be seen at the side of the property polishing the Limo and I had him drive me in one of the other cars.

As I sat in the back I pulled out my phone and discovered that the call I had cut off had been Jacob and I immediately tried to call him back. I hadn't been able to talk to him since before the scan and I longed to hear his voice; hoped that the photograph hadn't upset him or made him doubt me. I reached his answer service and left a message, asking him to call me back again as soon as he could. Then I remained in the hotel room, waiting for his call and in the meantime talking to Dad, who called me to discuss the article about the scan.

"How much of that is true?" he asked.

"Virtually none. She is pregnant, but as for whose it is...she was having an affair with Sam Uley for three months; we're going to have to wait until it's born and get a DNA test."

Dad swore under his breath. "So the part about you two fixing things is garbage."

"Totally. There is no point in you or Mom trying to persuade me otherwise now. There wasn't before, but..."

"Edward, we both thought Bella had simply made a small mistake. Frankly, if you decided to take her back now I'd be advising you otherwise. It will be in your best interests to support her though, at least until the baby is born."

"You mean spend the next seven months pretending we're together and that I'm happy about it? That is not going to happen. I can't even believe you'd suggest that after what I just told you."

"Edward..."

"No, Dad, for once, will you listen to me? I have no intention of seeing Bella again unless I find out the baby really is mine and then it'll only be if I decide I want to spend time with it. I am sick of trying to do what everybody else wants; what will show me in the best light; what the fans expect. It's all bullshit. There is one thing you were right about and that was that I made a mistake signing that contract. If I'd thought about it longer I would have had Leah call a press conference and quit!"

"Edward!" Dad exclaimed. "You're not seriously thinking of walking away from everything you have?"

"What do I have?" I asked. "Parents who support me only as long as I'm going in the direction they want; a cheating ex-girlfriend who doesn't even know who the father of her baby is; people all over the world writing shit about me, speculating about every little thing I do and say? I don't want it! I don't want any of it. I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful, but I didn't ask for a life like this, I was born into it. If you and Mom had been regular people with regular careers and a small house in the suburbs, the last thing I would ever have chosen to do is get into show business. I probably would have gone to college, been a teacher or a lawyer or...hell, I don't know, but I would have been able to walk down the street without anybody giving me a second glance and I would have been _happy!"_

I hung up before he could answer me. I hadn't meant to say any of that, but I was upset, angry and my mind a turmoil. I desperately wanted to escape from everything, but it was hanging over me and would continue to do so at least until next March, probably longer by the time I finished promoting 'The Chains That Bind Us'.

My phone rang and I snatched it up again, assuming it would be Dad calling me back, or maybe my mother. I didn't check the called ID, but simply answered.

"I haven't anything else to say right now!"

"Edward!" It was Jacob's voice. "What's going on?"

**Jacob's POV**

I hadn't known what to expect when I called him. I'd actually been steeling myself to do it all day after the latest article in the Globe and had left my phone off while I thought about it. I knew I shouldn't believe any of their shit, but it was the photograph that made my confidence waver. They looked close, she was smiling up at him, wearing his shirt as they came out of the clinic. Apparently the scan must have given them the date of conception which proved it was his and the longer I thought about it, the more I began to wonder if he had changed his mind; decided that he wanted to be with her and be a father. Now I heard sobs at the other end of the phone and my heart leaped into my mouth, my own fears immediately leaving me as I listened to his pain.

"Edward? I'm here, tell me what happened."

"Sorry...um...I've been trying to call...I thought...did you see the news?"

"Never mind that; why are you so upset?"

"It's not just one thing, I guess everything just built up..." He sniffed hard and I could hear him drinking something. "When I couldn't reach you, I thought maybe you believed the story...that picture..."

"I went out on the boat," I said. "I called to tell you, but your phone was off at the time and I figured I'd just call later, find out how the scan went, but I got caught in a storm. It cut my signal out and I had to wait it out or I could have gotten swept onto the beach. Then...yeah, the photo did throw me," I admitted. "I needed some time to think."

"The whole of that article is complete bullshit," Edward said. "Including the picture. The scan pinpointed the conception date to a three-day window and it's true it could be mine. I was kind of shell-shocked when we came out and she was hanging onto me. She swore the baby's mine, but she started off saying it was only a kiss with Sam, then suddenly she slept with him one time...I told myself not to believe it until I had actual proof."

"I'm sorry." I inwardly heaved a sigh of relief and cursed myself for letting the press make me doubt him. I had enough experience of how much they twisted everything.

"I talked to Sam," Edward went on.

"What? When?"

"I went to the house and he was there. They didn't hear me and he was yelling at her about the news - apparently she told him the baby was his and they'd been having an affair for three months. He admitted they slept together right after she got back to Vancouver so it's possible that it's his. He actually apologised; said she made up a story about how she was losing me, that I never paid her any attention any more and she was lonely and sad, needing comfort and so on. He says he wouldn't have gone near her otherwise. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. He seemed genuine enough, but I don't really care either way. I told her to communicate with me through Leah from now on, until we can get a DNA test."

"I'm sorry I wasn't around when you called," I said.

"It's ok. I'm ok really, I guess it just all got to me for a minute. I talked to my Dad just now; pretty much told him I'm going to walk away from all this. I didn't mean to, but they're so fucking determined for me to portray the right image, even now. I should be seen to support Bella until we find out for sure. I mean, what the fuck?" he spat suddenly. "What kind of parents don't give a shit whether their son's happy as long as he looks good in front of the world?"

"They might come around, you know, when they get used to the idea that this isn't for you any more," I told him.

"Yeah, well I won't hold my breath."

It was no surprise that Edward was so angry and bitter after the brief period of upset passed. He was having to face too much all at once and it was only set to get worse with the looming tour with his father and then the filming of the movie. I knew he was particularly dreading the love scene he said was in there, although I hadn't read that part of the script and didn't know exactly what it involved. Paul Lahote was a bit of an asshole and I hoped he wasn't going to make things even more difficult for Edward when it came to it. There was nothing that I could really do to help except promise to be there for him any time he needed to talk to me. Several times the idea of flying to LA had crossed my mind, but so far I had dismissed it. My sudden appearance would only create more trouble for Edward in the press and I knew I was just going to have to keep my distance until he could come to me.

We talked until both of our phones began to run out of power and for the second time, Edward ended by telling me he loved me. I hadn't expected to hear it from him yet, even though he'd almost said the words before he left Barbados. I'd felt he had too much to deal with already and I hadn't wanted to hope, or fall too deep and then have him realise he made a mistake, but I had to admit to myself it was too late for me. I was too much in love with him to care if I got hurt later and hearing him say what he felt made my heart flutter and long to be with him.

The following day I was up early as was often the case, drinking coffee at the table on the decking and trying to write. My inspiration seemed to have deserted me just lately with my mind constantly being on Edward and I gave up after an hour of repeatedly deleting the few words I typed. I poured another cup of coffee and began searching for the latest news articles. It would still only be around five-thirty in LA, but today's stories would be online by now. The first headline I came to was of course about Edward and I cringed as it flashed up on the screen.

_'Bella's Baby Dilemma - Who's The Daddy?'_

It was Stars Weekly's newest edition and the front page indicated that there were six pages of Edward and Bella in the magazine along with the very latest news. Usually Seth Clearwater was the journo who obtained the interviews or stories, but on this occasion he had actually written the article himself and I began to scowl at the screen as I read.

_'Shock for Edward Cullen yesterday as the happy news of Bella's pregnancy was marred by the discovery that the baby may in fact be the result of her 'error of judgement' with Sam Uley. A source tells us that Bella's indiscretion was rather more than a kiss, but a three-month affair, leading to speculation about the identity of the baby's father. It seems that the scan, intended to confirm a healthy pregnancy, also showed the timescale could put either of the two men in the picture as Daddy. So far neither Edward nor Sam have been available for comment, but it goes without saying that after Edward and Bella's recent reconciliation, this new shock won't be doing Bella any favours. Will Edward continue to stand by her, or is the extent of her infidelity too much for even our much-loved, generous-hearted star to handle? At this point, nobody would blame him for turning his back...'_

I skipped through the rest of the article, which was only more of the same. For once the majority of it was actually true and I wondered if this was Sam's doing. I didn't know the man, but from what Edward had said, he had been taken in my Bella's lies just as much as Edward himself and if he'd cared for Bella, he was most likely hurt and rather than stay quiet and ignore it the way Edward did, he wanted to humiliate Bella to pay her back in some way. The news was noted more than once as having been obtained from 'a source' which could quite easily have been an anonymous call or email from Sam or a friend of his.

I took a brief look at the other pages of the magazine, basically all of the last week's news crammed into one issue - Edward's return to LA after visiting me, a brief speculation on what I was to him besides a 'family friend', then more on the photograph which had caught Bella out, then Edward punching Seth, which Seth candidly admitted was his own fault and finally the supposed reconciliation and the scan. The rest of it was about Edward's new movie, the storyline noted only as being a 'poor little rich boy breaking out of the life he hated'.

My phone rang and I snatched it from the table, answering before its first peel had ended.

"Hey, Edward."

The next week followed much the same pattern; constant news relating to the 'triangle' of Edward, Bella and Sam and Edward calling me every day. Mostly he took it all in his stride, exasperated, but realising there wasn't much he could do about it except rise above it and refuse to be drawn into making any comments. For once even Bella had maintained silence and the social media were calling her every name under the sun while sympathising with both Edward and Sam. Bella was due to begin the promotional tour for her movie any day and it was clear she was going to be bombarded with awkward questions in front of Sam, who would be present as well.

Meanwhile Edward met with Rosalie Hale and some of the cast for his movie. He was relieved that at least his friend Jasper was part of it and although he had been somewhat anxious about seeing Bella's uncle, Charlie Swan, who was to play his father in the movie, the man had quickly reassured Edward that he was appalled by Bella's behaviour and that the months they would spend working together wouldn't be awkward in any way. He completely supported Edward and was more of a help to him than his own father.

I didn't know anything about Rosalie Hale; in fact I'd never even heard her name before the announcement that Edward was to star in her directional debut, but Edward reported that it was clear she was going to do a good job. She was a bossy, no-nonsense type of woman who knew exactly what she wanted and intended to get it, but at the same time she had a soft heart and had already pulled Paul Lahote into line at the first meeting when he used the opportunity to comment on Edward's situation. Edward seemed to feel that the filming wasn't going to be as difficult as he expected, but this was three weeks away and in the meantime, his tour loomed. The LA premier was that day and then he flew to New York with Carlisle and from there London, Paris and a list of other places all crammed into the space of eighteen days.

"Call me, whenever you get the chance," I reiterated.

"I'll have the chance every day when I'm in the hotel in whichever city we're in," he said. "The time differences are going to be a bitch, though."

"Don't worry about it. Just call when you can, it doesn't matter what time it is here."

"I don't want to call at three in the morning or something and wake you up."

"You mean you don't want to talk to me when I'm in bed, dreaming about you?" I teased.

"It'll make me wish I was with you."

It was the first time we had referred to what could happen between us in the future. Since Edward left Barbados he had faced constant pressure and stress with everything that had been going on and I hadn't talked about us much at all, only repeatedly telling him I loved him, but now I figured a hint was only going to make him smile.

"I wish I could see you," I added.

"Well, I don't, my face is red," he chuckled.

"You have a laptop, right?"

"Yes and an iPad."

"I should have suggested this before actually; we should Skype."

"You wouldn't have wanted to see me, the last week or so," Edward said wrily. "I'll take the iPad with me on the tour though. If you have one, they have their own version of Skype."

"Ok." I didn't have an iPad, but I planned to head into Bridgetown and buy one before he landed in New York.

"I better go, I have to pack," Edward sighed. "We're flying out at six tomorrow so I won't have time after the premier."

"Have a safe flight," I finished. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

**Jacob's POV**

I rose early the next morning and checked the news websites while I ate my breakfast. The main news was the premier for Edward's movie, 'Defeated'. He was pictured on the red carpet in a sombre grey suit with his co-stars and Carlisle, a forced smile on his face and my heart went out to him. The articles I read indicated he had avoided making any comments on the situation with Bella and Sam, but I knew it had to have been hard for him, being bombarded by journalists and hordes of well-meaning fans with endless questions about Bella's cheating and the identity of the baby's father.

I stayed home until I knew he would be on the plane to New York, just in case he were to call me beforehand, but I didn't hear from him and I drove into Bridgetown at ten-thirty and stocked up on groceries. I purchased the latest available iPad too and then spent the afternoon setting it up with 'Aps' and so on, so that it would be ready to connect with Edward when he was free. I worked out that he would land in New York around three-thirty local time, which would be the same time where I was. Presumably he and Carlisle would go straight to their hotel, but it would depend on their schedule. All I could do was wait until he was able to contact me.

It was midnight when he called. I was in bed, reluctantly settling down to go to sleep when my phone rang and vibrated loudly on the bed table and I snatched it up quickly.

"Hey, Jacob. Sorry to call so late."

He sounded exhausted and he went on to tell me that he had only had time to take a quick shower in the hotel before he had to undertake an interview for a magazine and then appear on a chat show. The following day would be filled with more of the same and then another premier. We only talked for a few minutes before I told him to get some sleep. I knew all to well how gruelling promotional tours could be; endless interviews and appearances coupled with constant jetlag and with everything else that was going on in Edward's life, it must have been hell.

It was four days before we actually got to talk to each other properly. He was in London and had a full day to rest before flying on to Paris and he had decided to stay in the hotel rather than go sight-seeing and draw more attention from fans and press. He sent me a text message to say that he was online if I was free and I quickly switched on the iPad to try it out for the first time.

I wasn't particularly competent with technology, but eventually Edward appeared on the screen, a rather embarrassed looking crooked grin on his face. He had apparently propped his iPad on a table or something and I could see most of him where he sat on a couch. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that he had bought in Bridgetown, the watch I had given him on his left wrist, his hair wilder than usual as if he had repeatedly dragged his hands through it and his face looked almost gaunt, eyes tired and shadowed.

"Hey, gorgeous," I said.

"You're flattering me; I look like shit," he grimaced. "The jetlag's killing me. I don't think I slept properly since we left LA."

"I don't think I have either," I admitted. "Been thinking about you."

"Me too." He lowered his eyes and reddened a touch.

"How are you getting on?" I asked.

"Pretty much how I expected. More questions about Bella and Sam than the movie. Dad's not in the best temper. He's outwardly supporting me and cursing the whole mess the minute he's out of earshot of the paps."

"Where is he?"

"Out somewhere; they all are. I figured I'd just stay in the hotel and rest and catch up with you."

"I wish I was there too," I said. "You look like you could use a hug."

"Yeah. I'm ok, just tired, but I'm running low on hugs."

We talked for a couple hours. He seemed so low, but determined to put a brave face on it, gradually smiling more often as we spent time together with the aid of the iPads. We reconnected again at ten o'clock London time when I was soaking up the last few hours of sun and I switched on the small screen to see Edward sitting on a vast bed in another t-shirt and shorts, apparently ready to go to sleep, the room lit only by a lamp beside the bed. He looked a little better and admitted he had slept for almost four hours since we had talked earlier.

"Want me to tuck you in?" I teased.

Grinning, he got up and slid under the covers, holding the iPad precariously in one hand and giving me jumpy views of the room, the bed, and flashes of arms and legs until his face appeared again on the pillow. He balanced the screen somehow and gazed into it, the effect making it seem as if he were looking into my eyes. We talked a few more minutes until his eyelids were drooping and then I said goodnight and closed the connection with a sigh. Seeing him like that had only made me miss him more, but I guessed it was a lot harder for him.

The next two weeks were very long. Some days Edward was either too busy or too tired to talk to me and the times that we were able to spend with each other, I noticed he was looking more and more wrung out. I found it difficult to stop myself continually expressing my concern for him, especially when I had been reading what was going on in the news and seeing not only the interviews he was being subjected to, but also Bella's efforts to regain public affection by stating that she desperately loved Edward and wanted them to reconnect when he got home; hopefully to be able to be a proper family because she knew in her heart the baby was his. He skilfully avoided questions on the subject himself, but it was obviously taking its toll on him.

In any other circumstances, I would have been tempted to tease and flirt with him through the iPads; tell him how much I wanted him, how I couldn't wait for us to be together; perhaps try to coax him out of his clothes for a little bit of virtual intimacy, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. It was completely inappropriate given the way things were for him and I kept my thoughts to myself, merely repeating that I missed him and loved him every chance I got.

Finally he arrived back in LA and I saw the photo of him and Carlisle in the airport before I got the chance to talk to him. He was wearing a baseball cap backwards and dark glasses, a short-sleeved shirt and cargo pants; Carlisle wore a suit. Edward looked as if he had lost weight and the press of course had been keen to jump on the observation, commenting that he was clearly suffering from heartbreak over Bella, not eating or sleeping, unwilling to take care of himself without her. Somehow public opinion had turned in a different direction and decided that he would be happier if he was with her, working together to forget about Sam and look forward to their baby.

I hated reading all of that shit, knowing it to be completely untrue, but it was only what was expected. They wanted to sell as many copies as possible and while nothing particularly exciting was happening, they would make it up. I switched my laptop off in disgust, not wanting to read any more. It was early evening and I was sprawling on my bed, the iPad switched on and propped against a pillow just in case Edward should want to talk to me when he got back to his hotel. I glanced at the blank screen and then suddenly it flickered and a hand appeared, the picture moving around.

"Hey, Jacob, are you there?"

The screen jolted and then stilled and Edward's face appeared, sideways as he laid his head on a pillow. He looked ready to pass out from exhaustion, but his smile was brighter than any I'd seen since he left.

"I'm here. How are you?"

"I'm home, thank God. Well, if you can call a hotel home." He grimaced slightly and then the grin returned. "What time is it there?"

"Seven."

"At night? I'm completely fucked up, I don't even know what day it is."

"It's Thursday and it'll be four in the afternoon for you," I told him.

"Can we talk later? I really need to get some sleep, but I want to catch up with you properly. I know I've been lousy company the last couple of weeks."

"Edward, don't worry about that, I know how tiring tours are normally without all the other crap you're dealing with. I'll be here; I'll leave this switched on. If I'm asleep when you come back, just shout at me."

I was glad that he seemed in better spirits already and I finally managed to do some writing while he slept, hammering the laptop keyboard until amost ten before I put it aside and took a shower, then returned to the bed in just my underwear, sprawling out on top of the covers while I waited for Edward to wake up, assuming he didn't remain dead to the world for the rest of the day.

"Jacob! Hey!"

My eyes snapped open and I grinned as I watched Edward's fist approach my screen and knock loudly. I glanced at the clock and noted that it was past two, stifling a yawn as the fist disappeared and his face came into view.

"Sorry, you said shout if you were asleep. Do you want to leave it until tomorrow?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "I'm awake."

"Only just."

He smirked and tugged a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. His face was dusted with stubble, I noticed and he seemed to be wearing a fluffy bathrobe, probably one of those provided by hotels. He moved the iPad a little further away and the rest of him came into view, to the knees at least. He was lying on his side on the bed, the same way I was and I moved my own screen further away, quickly checking first to make sure my cock hadn't escaped from my shorts to cause me embarrassment. Typically it was half hard as was often the case when I first woke and I moved the iPad only far enough to capture my upper body.

By the time we had chatted about Edward's flight home from Sydney, Australia and the last of his appearances, I was fit to be seen and I moved the iPad again, wondering if I ought to try what I had been thinking about ever since I bought the tablet. It was an unusual situation because we had only had a brief kiss before he left Barbados, but things could go on this way for months yet without us being able to see each other in the flesh so it was worth testing the water. Perhaps it was still too early; sex was probably the last thing on his mind, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

"What are you thinking?" Edward prompted and I realised I'd been staring thoughtfully at the comforter for far too long. I grinned up at the screen.

"I was just thinking I wish you were here - or I was there."

"I'd rather be there; your place is so peaceful." He sighed and stretched, causing the robe to gape open and give me a glimpse of his chest.

"Is this really what you want, Edward?" I asked. "Me, I mean?"

"Of course I do!" he said at once. "I love you. I know what I want. I wish I could just walk away now and be with you..."

"It's ok, I can wait," I smiled. "I had an idea, that's all, but I don't want to embarrass you or freak you out if it's not really where this is heading."

"Tell me." He lowered his eyes and smirked slightly and I wondered if he guessed what I was thinking.

"Well, we can hear each other and see each other; we just can't touch, so..."

Edward let out a small giggle and rubbed a hand over his face, his cheeks glowing red.

"Sorry, I'm being stupid. I've never done anything like this..."

"Nor have I," I put in. "They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I'd like to give it a go."

"You're not old," Edward said at once. "But I'm ridiculously self-conscious..."

"Have you got shorts on?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"So take the robe off. It's no less than you had on when you were roasting yourself in my yard."

"I guess." He sat up suddenly and I saw a blur of white fabric and then it was gone and he was lying down again wearing black jersey shorts, similar to the grey ones I had on. He was definitely thinner than when he'd visited me, but at least he looked happier than he had on the tour.

"You're beautiful," I said.

"Don't."

"I'm serious. I always thought that. Remember when you were eighteen..."

"Of course I remember. I dreamed about it often enough afterwards."

"Me too. I was thinking about it when you were here. You were lying on a rug on my lawn reading your script and I couldn't keep my eyes off of you."

Edward grinned and tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes lowered. He looked sexy without intending to and I felt my cock twitch.

"I was wishing you were over Bella...that you wanted me..."

"I am now and I do want you," Edward whispered.

"Later, after we talked on the boat, I had this fantasy..."

His face flamed and he rubbed a hand over it again awkwardly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

"Yes..."

"Close your eyes. Forget about the camera; imagine I'm next to you."

"Ok." He closed his eyes and breathed out loudly.

"I imagined you were lying face down on the rug," I remembered. "I came over to put some more lotion on you. I started with your shoulders and then your back, massaging it into your skin."

I slid my hand down my body as my cock grew eagerly, pushing at the fabric of my shorts. Not only was I thinking about the story I was telling him, but I was also imagining he was with me now, that I could feel his skin under my hands, that he was becoming as aroused as I was.

"I moved down to your legs and you spread them open. I wanted to touch you and I put my hand there between them, under you...you were so hard...you rubbed yourself against my hand..."

Edward's chest rose and fell rapidly and I noticed movement in his shorts, his cock lengthening and straining against the fabric the way mine was doing. I suppressed a groan as I slipped my hand into my underwear and wrapped it around my aching erection.

"I asked you to turn over and when you did, I took your shorts off. I was dying to touch you...taste you..."

"Fuck..." Edward hissed.

The hand that I could see was clenched on the mattress in front of him. I changed things slightly, shifting from the fantasy to the present.

"If I was next to you right now, would you let me touch you?"

"Uh...yes..."

"Let me see you."

His eyes flew open, but they were angled downwards and I imagined he was looking at what my hand was doing rather than at my face. I pushed my shorts down a few inches, exposing myself, gripping my cock tightly again in my fist. His lips parted on a gasp and I watched as he slowly turned onto his back and wriggled out of his shorts, tossing them away somewhere before he rolled over to face me again. I quickly pushed my own further down and kicked them off, then grasped myself again and let my eyes slide down Edward's body to his cock. It was rigid, curved up against his belly, the head glistening with pre-cum. He was cut and I was unable to stop the groan that forced its way out of my throat as I looked at him.

"Jesus, Edward," I whispered. "You have no idea how much I want you right now."

I began to move my hand, realising that I was so close already I was probably going to come all over the bed in minutes. My balls were tight against my body, my cock throbbing in my hand as I pumped it slowly. Edward's eyes were almost closed again, but I could sense he was watching me. I could hear him panting quietly and at last his hand slid lower to grasp his shaft, holding it for a moment before he began to stroke it in time with my own movements.

"You are so fucking sexy," I groaned.

He raised his eyes slowly and looked into the camera.

"I love you."

The words made him smile and he repeated them to me, ending on a low moan. His breathing quickened and he began to jerk himself off faster, his groans and whimpers coming to me clearly through the small screen in front of me.

"Imagine that's my hand," I said softly.

"I am."

"Come for me, Edward."

It took only a few more pumps and then he was shooting his load onto the sheet in front of him, a little of the thick white fluid dribbling over his fingers as his hand slowed, teasing the last few drops from himself.

"Holy shit," I breathed.

My own orgasm took me and I was spurting onto the bed, emptying myself with a loud groan, stroking through it until I became too sensitive and released my cock reluctantly. I was panting for breath, my heart racing. My eyes had slid shut as I came and I opened them again quickly, watching as Edward sat up and grabbed something black - his shorts probably - and the screen blurred with rapid movements as he presumably used them to clean up the mess. I pushed myself upright and quickly did the same, wiping my cock and the sheet before I lay down again.

"Now I have no idea what to say to you." Edward laughed softly, flushing.

"I wasn't sure if it would be too soon," I admitted. "If we were together I'd have been kissing you; seeing what happened..."

"It's not too soon." Edward grinned wider. "Take away all the shit that's been happening - misunderstandings, you trying to do what was best for me, all of my crap, and it's taken us seven years to do this."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You know after our movie when I came to your room? If things were different and you hadn't been thinking about my career or whatever...what would have happened?"

"Are you sure you want to go over that now? We can't go back."

"I know that, but I really want to know. Now I know that it wasn't because you didn't want me, I want to know what you would have done."

"I'd have made love to you, if you'd have let me," I said.

"I'd have let you do anything you wanted. I imagined you doing it after my birthday." He smirked suddenly. "I'd never jerked off so much in my life."

My cock twitched again at the thought of him lying alone in his room, thinking about me and making himself come.

"Stop it, you're going to get me going again," I grinned. "Let's leave that for next time."

"Thank you," Edward murmured.

"What for?"

"This. I needed it. The last couple of weeks have been...trying. Some of the times when I couldn't talk to you, it wasn't so much that I was busy or tired or whatever, I just...I thought I'd crack up and I didn't want you to see that and worry about me."

"Aww, Edward," I groaned. "You should have let me be there for you."

"I knew you were, but I wanted to get home first."

"I love you," I said. "I wish I wasn't so far away. These tablets are good in that we can talk and see each other and...play...but I can't hold you and that's what I want most. I'd be there like a shot if I thought it wouldn't make things difficult for you."

"I didn't think you'd want to be seen in LA."

"I don't care about that; there's nothing the press can say about me any more that would bother me. When I walked away they pretty much beat it to death. But if I'm seen there after they already speculated about you visiting me, it's not going to help you."

"If it was just about me, I'd say I don't care," Edward said slowly. "But as much as I'm not looking forward to making this movie, I want it to be a success. Rosalie's pretty awesome and me making my last picture her first, I guess it'll be a launching pad for her. There's enough gossip about me already. Obviously you've been reading the latest. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but I am when I read that they want me and Bella to work it out. What's that about? Suddenly they feel sorry for her?"

"They're just trying to sell copies, Edward. They haven't had much to write about while you've been touring. Concentrate on the movie - that'll be the headline as soon as you start filming and Bella will take a back seat again."

We talked about it a while longer, Edward telling me that filming started in two days. The hotel he was staying in wasn't too far from the studios and he planned to have Marcus collect him each day and drive him to his trailer. Some of the other members of the cast were going to be staying in the same hotel - his friend Jasper, which I was glad about and Alice Brandon who was to play his girlfriend. The young actor playing the teenage Martin Fuller would also stay there with his father during the time they filmed his scenes. The majority of the movie was to be shot in the studio with only a few scenes on location in New York, although those would be done after everything else was complete.

It would be four months and then the usual promotional interviews and so on, then it would be over for Edward until he was called back for the premier and a final tour of appearances. He told me that he had planned with Leah to do a press conference when filming ended before any of the interviews, to announce his intention to leave acting. Not only would this make the movie a must-see, but it would also have the effect of the following interviews concentrating on the reasons for his departure rather than Bella and her baby. He seemed much more positive about everything and although it was still months away, I guessed he could see the light at the end of the tunnel and I would be there for him through it all, even if I could only do it through the small screen in front of me.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

**Edward's POV**

I found it impossible to fall asleep straight away after I said goodnight to Jacob. My heart was still racing and as I thought about the way we had watched each other masturbate, I quickly hardened again. My face was hot, even as I lay there alone with Jacob no longer able to see me and I wished I didn't have to be so awkward and shy about sex. I hadn't really had problems when I first started seeing Bella, but maybe it was because I had wanted Jacob so much for so long. He had been my hero when I was a kid and now it seemed like a dream come true that he wanted me.

I grasped myself and began to run my hand slowly up and down my length, closing my eyes and letting my mind jump between the memory of Jacob getting himself off in front of me, to the much repeated fantasy of his hand stroking me, his lips on mine. I longed to be with him properly and I began to imagine the things I'd thought of after that birthday kiss, drawing my knees up and spreading them wide apart, picturing him above me, pushing his cock into me.

I wet the fingers of my free hand with saliva and reached down, circling my hole with the tip of one and stroking my perineum with the others, shuddering at the sensation. My cock twitched in my hand and I began to jerk off more vigorously, my previous orgasm having done nothing to suppress my excitement. I pushed my fingertip upwards, slowly breaching my hole and feeling my own hot tightness, wondering what it would feel like with Jacob's cock filling me, stretching me. It was bound to hurt at first; he was bigger than I'd imagined when I thought about him, but I would relish the initial discomfort, if only he would make love to me.

_"Fuck!" _I hissed as I came again, spurting onto my belly and coating my hand.

I grabbed my shorts to clean myself up for the second time and then headed for the shower, standing under the hot spray with my eyes closed and thinking about what lay ahead of me. It seemed far too long before I would see Jacob. I could talk to him any time I wanted and with the iPads we could see each other, enjoy a little fun the way we had just done, but more than anything I wanted to feel his arms around me, hugging me tight, his mouth against my ear telling me he loved me. It was exactly what he had said he longed for the most and I knew it was going to be a tough few months.

I spent all of Friday in the hotel. I rose late and by the time I'd had room service bring me breakfast, Jasper was knocking on my door wanting to catch up. I was glad to see him and he hung out in my room for most of the day. We were just about to order dinner when Charlie Swan also arrived and ate with us while we caught up on the latest news.

"I feel like I should apologise to you about Bella," he said uncomfortably.

"Please don't," I replied at once.

"Trouble is with that girl, my brother spoiled her rotten, let her get away with any damned thing growing up and her mother's sister was no better. Maybe if she'd had a better upbringing, she wouldn't cause so much trouble."

"Charlie, don't worry about it," I repeated. "She'll do what she does and I'll just deal with it."

"Still, I'm sorry she's putting you through this shit. So..." He cleared his throat and gulped some of the beer he had taken from my minibar. "You two ready for Saturday?"

I grimaced slightly and Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just exhausted after the tour," I said. "I could have done with another week; I guess it'll be alright though, once we get started."

"I don't envy you having to get it on with Lahote." It was Jasper's turn to pull a face. "I saw him last night, he's staying in the hotel. Asshole."

"I'm not particularly looking forward to it," I said carefully. "Hopefully it'll be done in one take."

"Don't hold your breath; he's not the best actor in the world."

I knew it was going to be late before the pair left me and I didn't want to wake Jacob up in the middle of the night again, so I sent him a text to say I was busy with Jasper and Charlie and I would call him in the morning before we went to the studios, which I did while I ate breakfast.

Marcus collected me at nine and Jasper accompanied me in the car. Charlie had made his own arrangements and when we arrived at the studios, we found Alice Brandon already there. I didn't know her well, but she was a nice girl, sweet and pixie-like; a real chatterbox with a huge heart. Paul Lahote arrived after us and kept his distance until he was forced to join us and the other actors who would be involved in the smaller parts. All of us had a meeting with Rosalie and the crew, Rose giving each of us a filming schedule which indicated most scenes would be shot in order, but grouping them together as well so that all of those taking place in the office would be shot first, then those that were in the two main characters' apartments, then some in a club and so on. The very first scenes for me included mainly Paul and a few with Charlie as well.

Paul barely spoke to any of us except when he had to read lines and I wondered if Rosalie's sharp words to him during the initial meeting before my tour had been responsible for that. It was early evening before he actually spoke to me directly, when he was forced into it by Charlie and Alice heading off alone to practise a scene that involved only the two of them.

"I guess we should go over some of the other stuff; there's the scene where Martin and Steven are talking in the boardroom," I said.

Paul grunted in response and shuffled pages of the script. He was beginning to annoy me and I wondered why I'd felt intimidated about having to work with him. There wasn't anything wrong with his acting skills when he was in character, despite what Jasper had said, but he would clearly rather have been somewhere else and the scowl on his face seemed to be a permanent fixture.

"Do you have a problem with me?" I asked eventually.

"No."

"So what's with the hostility?"

"You think this is _hostile?"_ He smirked suddenly and raised an eyebrow. "You know nothing about me. Maybe you should try a bit harder to get under my skin, Cullen, then you'll see what hostile is."

"So you do have a problem."

"Perhaps I just get sick of being surrounded by people who are such big stars and so full of their own self-importance that they don't notice anything around them."

"You didn't grow up much in the last five years," I said. "You're still jealous and I could say the same as you - that you know nothing about me. If you did, you'd know that self-importance is the last thing I have. This is just a job to me and not one I particularly like."

"So why the fuck are you doing it then?" he snapped. "Because Daddy says?"

"Look...if you can't be civil to me, let's just practise the lines and forget about anything else," I sighed.

"You started it," he reminded me darkly.

I had, I supposed. I shouldn't have been surprised by his behaviour - he was no different to what he had been when he had hung around the set of 'The Last Train'. He had had a minor part and had let everybody know how resentful he was that his character barely got to speak two lines before he was killed. He was jealous, bitter and rude and he wondered why he was rarely chosen for important roles. It wasn't his acting ability that was in question, but his attitude to his fellow actors and crew. Rosalie had apparently decided to give him a chance, but I had to wonder how long that would last. The part of Steven was the second biggest role in the movie, but he could still be replaced. If only Jacob hadn't quit - he could have played the role and then I certainly wouldn't have had a problem with the love scene; or maybe I would. I probably would have embarrassed myself completely.

I read through the schedule later in my trailer, discovering that the office scenes were estimated to take about ten days to film and Martin's apartment followed. At least the part that I was looking forward to the least would be over quickly, rather than it looming in the distance for weeks.

Filming started the following morning, as usual each small sequence being shot several times until Rosalie was satisfied. She was a perfectionist and very critical, but quick to offer praise when we nailed something almost immediately. I had no trouble with the first day and as much as I longed for it all to be over, so far it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. Like I had told Paul, it was just a job to me and in a few months it would be over. The worst thing about it was that my time talking with Jacob, whether on the phone or the iPad, was limited almost as much as it had been when I'd been on the tour and he was constantly on my mind.

The first week passed and everyone had a day off filming. I spent most of mine in my hotel room, indulging in some fun with the iPads with Jacob and watching wide-eyed as he propped his tablet up somewhere in his bathroom and showered in front of me. I decided the next time we did this, I would think up something more adventurous to do for him, however red my face might get in the process.

The following week everything began to go downhill again, starting with the press. Lately the stories had all been about my new movie, with constant speculation about how I was going to get on playing a character who eventually fell in love with another guy and none of that really bothered me. If anything I found it amusing, considering how close the storyline was to my real life. Then Monday the story was that Bella had been seen out drinking with a friend, clearly unconcerned for the health of her baby and the following day she was quoted as saying it had been a big mistake, one that she didn't intend to repeat, brought on only by her desperate unhappiness at the loss of my love and support. Wednesday I received a call from a hospital, saying that Bella had been taken in with some bleeding and had been asking for me. The call had come just before we began filming and I had no idea what to do. If it actually was my baby and I didn't go, how would I feel later? I was tempted to call Leah, but it was Rosalie who spoke to me and I realised that the two had a lot in common.

"You should go, Edward. You'll probably feel bad if you don't, regardless of the history between you."

"And it'll show me in a good light," I added.

"The hell with the press, let them say what they like," she responded. "Do what's right for you. We'll film around you."

I went and discovered that Bella had undergone another scan which had showed the baby to have a strong heartbeat, the mild bleeding apparently not being uncommon. Bella saw my attendance as a sign that I was beginning to feel more kindly towards her and subsequently ignored my previous request to contact me through Leah, beginning to bombard me with calls and texts afterwards, most of which I ignored. It was additional stress that I just didn't need and the press had immediately written that once again a reconciliation was on the cards for us. As soon as our 'little bundle of joy' arrived, I would be happy to take Bella back.

Thursday's filming went badly and I found myself repeatedly apologising for messing up. I forgot my lines, walked through the wrong door, tripped over my own feet and laughed nervously, making one twenty-second scene take all day to capture. The scene was in Martin's apartment with the only other character present being Steven and not only was I furious with myself for making so many mistakes, but I was mortified every time it happened and Paul smirked yet again over my failings. Worse, the love scene was looming, intending to be filmed Monday and dreading doing it was making everything else difficult to concentrate on. Coupled with Bella's determination to talk to me, I found I couldn't sleep properly and often skipped meals without even realising I had done it.

As usual I talked to Jacob, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to switch on the iPad for a few days. I knew I looked pale and drawn and I didn't want him to worry about me, or flirt with me when I was thinking about Bella's baby or having to kiss Paul and tear each other's clothes off. We were planning to rehearse the scene in his trailer Saturday morning and I could imagine the practise run being worse than the actual filming, because there would be no one else there to prevent him being a jerk about it. Jacob must have known the scene was coming up because I'd given him an idea of my schedule, but I hadn't actually told him what it involved. Foolishly it almost felt like cheating, something that I'd never felt when taking on a role that involved kissing someone while I'd been with Bella. It was just playing a part, but I felt guilty and uncomfortable about it all the same.

Marcus drove Jasper and me to the studios as usual. Jasper would be filming a scene where he was talking to Alice; her character had approached him to try to find out what was going on in Martin's head to make him break up with her. Meanwhile, I went to Paul's trailer, my script in my hand even though I doubted I would need it, my heart banging against my ribs in apprehension.

"You're late," he grunted when he responded to my knock on the door.

"Let's just get on with it." I climbed up the steps and closed the door behind me.

"You don't look too happy, Cullen," Paul said, suddenly smiling. "Don't like the idea of kissing me, huh?"

I ignored him and pretended to read over the scene again.

"Better try to get it right first time on set, otherwise we'll be going at it all day," he added.

"Will you shut up?" I tossed the script onto a nearby table and folded my arms. "Where are we starting from?"

"Um...we don't need to bother about the part where I arrive at your apartment and the conversation about why you ran away from the club. I guess we can just start from me saying, 'You have to decide what you want, I can't do that for you.' Then you kiss me."

"Yeah, ok." I cleared my throat and rubbed a hand over my face, telling myself that it wasn't me that would be doing this, but my character. Jacob had told me exactly that; to view it just the same as any other scene.

Paul leaned against the wall and casually stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I hovered in front of him, realising that Martin would look and feel as nervous as I did so that part was certainly easy.

"You have to decide what you want, I can't do that for you," Paul said with a small smile.

"I...I do know what I want." I dropped my eyes away from his face and hesitated a few more seconds, then stepped closer and whispered. "This is what I want."

My lips touched his and I closed my eyes. His hands came to rest on my waist, pulling me against his body as he responded to the kiss and I jerked away from him in horror. What the hell had I been thinking, signing up for a movie when I hadn't read the script? I was shaking and my face burned.

"What the fuck?" Paul frowned.

"I can't do this," I said.

"Well, you're going to have to."

"I'm not gay!" I blurted helplessly, feeling as if my entire body was blushing as I pictured myself jerking off while Jacob watched me through the tablets.

"You're a fucking actor, aren't you? At least fifty awards say you are, so act, why don't you?" Paul said unsympathetically. "Get hold of yourself, Cullen, it's just a fucking part in a movie. Let's take it from the top, as Rose would say." He stepped back and leaned against the wall again, hands in pockets. "You have to decide what you want, I can't do that for you."

I was still shaking and I wanted nothing more than to turn and leave, run back to the hotel and call Leah, begging her to get me out of the damned movie, but I knew I couldn't do that. Instead I took a deep breath and forced myself to be Martin Fuller and remember that whatever he did wasn't me; I only belonged to Jacob.

"I...I do know what I want." I stepped closer cautiously. "This is what I want."

This time I didn't jump away when he pulled me closer and he turned us around so that my back was to the wall, his mouth covering mine hungrily as his tongue thrust in. I let out a moan, clutching at him as his knee pushed my thighs apart and then he was backing up a few inches to give him room to peel his sweater off over his head before turning his attention to my shirt buttons, fumbling with them in his eagerness to undress me, kissing me heatedly.

My shirt fell to the ground and his hands were on my skin, stroking over my chest, sliding around my back, his body pressing harder against mine. It was so like my eighteenth birthday when Jacob had pinned me to the wall, kissing me, holding me, his body tight against mine. He hadn't taken my shirt off, but he'd taken my breath away, aroused me so much I hadn't been able to control myself. I gyrated my hips slightly, wanting him to feel how hard I was getting. Paul let go of me and stepped back suddenly and my eyes flew open.

"Not gay, huh? Maybe you should tell that to your dick," he snorted.

"Fuck."

Paul laughed again and my half-erection quickly shrank. I had experienced plenty of embarrassment in my life at one time or another, but nothing could compare to this. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me and I stooped to grab my shirt, turning away from him to hide my red face and the stupid tears which had filled my eyes. How could I have even thought of Jacob for a second in a situation like this?

"Good thing we're not on set, huh?"

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I don't know what happened." I was struggling with my shirt buttons, shoving them into the wrong holes so that the fronts of the garment were uneven.

"You kissed a guy and got hard."

"It was nothing to do with you!" I snapped.

"So, you were thinking about some other guy? In my book, that still negates the statement, 'I'm not gay'."

"Go to hell, Lahote!" I choked, furious when I felt wetness on my cheeks. I was continuing to make a complete fool of myself and I couldn't have chosen a worse person to do it in front of. I grabbed the door handle to wrench it open, but before I could escape, Paul's hand landed on the door above my head and held it shut.

"Wait...look, I'm sorry, really." He backed up a few steps. "I can be a real shithead sometimes."

"No kidding." I scrubbed my hands angrily over my face, more annoyed with myself than I was with him.

"What's going on?"

"Other than you being a complete...?"

"There's more to it than that," he interrupted quietly. "I never managed to make anybody cry yet, as far as I'm aware."

"You think I want to talk to you about anything?"

"I might surprise you. Sit down, will you?" He waved a hand towards the couch on the opposite wall, which I ignored. "I'm sorry, Edward, I mean it. I don't want to fight with you. I fight with everybody and it's usually down to my own attitude."

I watched as he turned away and opened up a small refrigerator, removing a bottle of vodka and pouring two generous measures into highball glasses, topping them up with coke and holding one out towards me.

"I'm sorry there's no ice."

I wasn't fond of vodka, but I took the drink anyway and sipped some.

"Are you gonna sit down and talk to me?"

"You don't want to hear my shit, Paul," I said warily.

I could see him using anything I said to torment me and I didn't trust his sudden apparent friendliness one bit. He sat down at one end of the couch now and took a mouthful of his own drink.

"We maybe have more in common that you think; at least in one regard. I haven't made any attempt to hide it, but people don't seem to know; I guess the papers aren't interested enough in me to say anything much, but I'm bi, so the last thing I'm going to do is use what just happened to make things difficult for you."

"I didn't know." I crossed to the couch and sat down gingerly at the other end of it.

"I know you think I'm a jerk and not without good reason. You were right, I haven't really grown up much; I've always been jealous of people like you, getting it all handed to you on a plate. Yeah, it's stupid, you don't have to tell me that."

"I would gladly give away what I have," I admitted slowly. "Yes, I had it all handed to me - my Dad was already an A-lister when I was born - but it's not what I want. I've been doing this for twenty years, mostly because I felt like I didn't have a choice and I didn't want to disappoint my family. I don't _like_ being famous, Paul, and I'd give anything to just be anonymous." I stopped before I told him I was planning to walk away after we finished the movie.

"Not meaning to interfere, but if you dislike it that much, don't you think you should stand up to them rather than carry on your whole life being miserable?"

"I did recently."

"And?"

"Look, I don't want to give away things I haven't really talked about yet."

"My lips are sealed," Paul said. "Promise. Especially if you kiss me like that again."

I stared at him in horror and quickly put my drink down on the nearby table.

"I'm joking, Edward, you're not my type, relax. Believe it or not, I am a decent guy beneath all the bullshit. I know you're friends with Jasper and all, but if you want somebody else to talk to, you can say anything you want and it won't go any further. I mean, does Jasper know you're into guys?"

"No."

"Is it guys in general, or a particular one?"

"Just one," I sighed, wondering if I really could trust him. Maybe he would call Seth Clearwater later and tell him everything.

"Is it Jacob Black?" He paused and I struggled to think of an answer, while the colour of my face gave me away.

"I figured," Paul continued. "You followed him around like a lost puppy when we were making that movie five years ago. I didn't think anything of it at the time since he was friends with your parents, but then you take off for two weeks in Barbados with him after all the shit with Bella and now you admit you like a guy, I just put things together."

"Oh, God," I groaned.

"It won't stay a secret for long, you know. And don't think I'm going to say anything because I'm not, but you know what the paps are like."

"I know."

"I can't expect you to trust me; all I can say is I might behave like an asshole, but I don't betray confidences. You'll see that if you give me the chance to get over being a dick. We're stuck with each other for the foreseeable and as usual I started off on the wrong foot, but I'm trying to fix it."

"Why the sudden turn around?"

"I guess you being upset made me see I'm worse than I think I am. So...?"

"I love him," I blurted. "I did since I was eighteen, but with one thing or another, neither of us knew how the other felt. Now we do."

"Wow. But you were with Bella nearly three years."

"I know, I thought I could never have him so I buried it and I was in love with her, but I guess...I never forgot him."

"So is he willing to come back under the spotlight for you?"

"He probably would, but it'll only be temporary. I'm leaving. As soon as we finish filming I'm announcing my intention to quit and then after the promo tour, it'll be over and done with."

"You're serious?" Paul's eyes widened. "Fuck. Did you tell Carlisle yet?"

"Yeah, he's not pleased, but I'm sure he'll forget about that when he finds out I'm going to be with a guy."

"They'll get over it if they love you."

"What about your family?" I asked. "Do they know?"

"Yeah, they've known since I was sixteen. They don't care; my Dad said so long as I'm happy and I don't catch anything or get anyone pregnant that I don't plan to marry, he's cool. Sorry, that wasn't a dig about the Bella situation."

"It's ok." I relaxed a little at last. I was beginning to see Paul in a completely different light, although a part of me was still wary of him. I had given away an awful lot of secrets in the space of just a few minutes and I only hoped that he would be true to his word and not betray my confidence.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

**Edward's POV**

By the time I returned to my hotel room Saturday night, I was once again exhausted. I did feel better about working with Paul after we talked and he had been pleasant enough on set, surprising everybody else, but physically I had had enough and when I called Jacob, I told him I had spent so many hours on set that all I wanted to do was sleep. I did just that, falling into bed before nine o'clock, but I still didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned, worrying about Bella's antics, feeling guilty that I got hard kissing Paul, wondering whether I should tell Jacob or not. If I didn't, surely that made me no better than Bella? Jacob was so loving, so understanding and I could imagine him saying that it was just a role in a movie, it didn't mean anything, I should stop beating on myself about it, but wouldn't he still question it; worry about it?

When I finally crawled out of bed on Sunday, my head was pounding and I looked terrible. I took painkillers, drank some water and went back to bed where I stayed for most of the morning until Jasper knocked on my door, wanting to check I was ok.

"Shit, Ed, you look like hell!" he gasped when I opened the door in just a pair of jeans that I had hastily dragged on.

"I'm not feeling too good."

"No, I mean, seriously, you look really sick. When did you last eat? Aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm ok." I couldn't actually remember when I'd last eaten. I knew I ate sandwiches in my trailer before we started Saturday's filming, but it was probably all I had that day. When I returned to the hotel I was too tired to think about it and had gone to bed more or less immediately.

"You're not ok, have you looked in the mirror?" Jasper closed the door and grabbed my hotel phone. "I'm ordering room service and I'm not leaving until I've seen you eat every bite."

"I'll eat, ok? I've just not thought about it; I was too tired last night; too much on my mind."

"How often are you not thinking about it, Ed?" He turned away from me and spoke into the phone. "Are you still serving breakfasts? Oh, ok, whatever I want. It's room 3021; can I get a cooked breakfast with everything, juice, fresh coffee, toast...enough for two, please."

"Jasper, I'm fine, seriously," I said when he hung up. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Well, I'm staying until you eat; the food will be thirty minutes."

When room service arrived, I found myself faced with a large plateful of bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, beans and toast. Jasper had the same, but I didn't miss the way he tried to sneak extra items from his plate onto mine. I realised I was starving, however, and ate almost all of it, followed by fresh squeezed juice and two cups of coffee. I did of course feel better, but I still felt almost sick with anxiety over everything else and as soon as Jasper left to spend some time with Alice, I called Jacob.

"Hey, how are you? I've been missing you," he said at once.

"I'm sorry; it's been a tiring week..."

"Can I see you?"

"Uh...maybe later...I didn't sleep too well, I'm not fit to be seen." I laughed nervously.

"Is something wrong? Other than the usual? Lahote still being a jerk?"

"Actually, no, he's ok," I admitted. "We...um...talked. He apologised for being a dick."

"Clearly he had a personality transplant," Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah, that must be it."

I changed the subject. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what happened and risk hearing disappointment and hurt in his voice. How could I tell him Paul made me hard? Even though it had happened because I thought about the way Jacob and I kissed that day so many years before. It was the first time I had found it difficult to talk to him and I knew I didn't sound myself. I was probably worrying him whilst doing my best not to and when we finished the call, I turned my phone off. If I could just get through Monday - get that scene over with - maybe I could talk to him properly. I would have to at some point and I knew I was making things worse for myself in the meantime by blowing the situation up into something it wasn't, but I couldn't seem to help it.

I spent the rest of the day alone in my room, idly watching whatever happened to be on television and somehow falling asleep in the late afternoon, waking in the middle of the night. I undressed and went to bed properly, hungry but not wanting to bother calling room service again at this hour. I would have a good breakfast in the morning before going to the studio and try to get back to normal, or as normal as I could manage while filming.

I tossed and turned for the rest of the night, then got up at seven and showered and shaved, grimacing at the sight of the bags under my eyes and pale complexion. Make-up were going to have a task on their hands that morning to make me look anywhere near presentable. I called room service for another cooked breakfast and paced around, checking the messages on my phone and finding both a text and a voicemail from Jacob, asking if I was ok as we had intended to talk again Sunday evening, but I hadn't called. I sent him a text to say I was sorry I missed him, I had fallen asleep, which was at least the truth.

A tap on the door indicated my breakfast had arrived and I went to let the staff member in, pulling the door wide for the trolley and then freezing in shock. It wasn't room service, but Bella, wearing a t-shirt and jeans and looking as bad as I did.

"Hey, Ed. May I come in and talk to you, please?"

"What are you doing here, Bella?" I sighed. "Didn't I make it clear that I don't want to see you or talk to you?"

"Please...just a few minutes."

I let her in. I didn't want people coming out of their rooms and hearing us talking in the corridor and I put the 'do not disturb' ticket on the outside of the door in the hopes that room service would take note of it and not bother to knock.

"I owe you an apology," Bella said. "Another one. For my behaviour last week; you know, the drinking? It won't happen again. I know I could have put the baby at risk doing that and I'm sorry. I was very...depressed and I guess it got on top of me."

"Couldn't you have said that on the phone?"

"I wanted to see you. I guess I can't stop hoping that somehow you might still feel something for me. This baby could be part of you, Edward, and maybe it could bring us back together."

I backed away from her and dragged my hands through my hair.

"I've already told you, it's not going to happen. If it is mine, I'll be there for it, financially and as a father, but that's as far as it goes. I don't trust you and I don't love you any more. Maybe I could have gotten over one kiss, but a three-month affair?"

"I'm sorry," Bella said again. "I was lonely..."

"Just stop," I interrupted. "It's done. We've already been over it and over it. There's no going back for us and this is the last time I'm going to say it."

A knock came on the door and I went to open it again, finding room service there with my breakfast, apparently assuming the 'do not disturb' note was from the previous night.

"I'm sorry to waste your time, take it away please," I said and closed the door. "Bella, please, just go. I need to get to work soon. Don't contact me again; if I have anything to say to you I'll call, but otherwise, just move on...get over it like I had to."

She nodded slowly. "Alright, I'm going. I'll send you updates on how the baby is doing through Leah, if that's ok."

"Yeah. Goodbye, Bella."

She left a moment later and I sat down heavily on the couch with a groan, wondering if she really would get the message this time. Once again it had been the worst possible time for her to turn up, when I had that damned love scene looming in front of me and the very thought of it was now making me want to throw up. At least I wouldn't have to worry about getting hard this time - that was practically an impossibility with cameras and a mic and a dozen crew members all crowded around you.

Marcus collected me thirty minutes later to drive me to the studio and for once I was alone. Jasper wasn't required for that day's filming and was intending to do something with Alice instead. The pair seemed to have hit it off and I had noticed the last day or two that her name fell off Jasper's lips with amusing regularity when we were talking.

I went straight to hair and makeup when I arrived and spent perhaps forty minutes being touched up; almost twice as long as usual, which didn't really surprise me. Paul was there early, already fixed up and waiting for me and he accompanied me to wardrobe where I was given a white shirt and grey pants to wear - my character's usual office attire.

"You ready for this?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Don't worry about it. It's not you, it's Martin Fuller, right?"

"Yeah."

Ten more minutes and we were on set. I was in Martin's apartment and the first minute of the scene was easy enough - Steven arriving at the door, Martin letting him in, a brief conversation about why Martin had fled the nightclub after Steven had kissed him. I messed up a couple of times, forgetting my lines, but we had it down after about eight takes. Then it was time for the part of the scene we had practised in the trailer and my stomach knotted up with nerves, my palms sweated and my mouth went dry. I felt a little light-headed and I just knew it was going to go badly. Even without it being a gay love scene, one that I'd already embarrassed myself over, I hated doing this kind of thing with a passion, having a whole crew staring while items of my clothing were removed, while I tried to look as if I was doing something enjoyable. I took a deep breath and tried to forget about everything else. If only I could get it in one take, it would be over in just a few brief minutes.

Paul leaned against the wall of Martin's living room, hands casually tucked into his pockets and a small smile on his face.

"Action!"

"You have to decide what you want; I can't do that for you," Paul said.

I walked slowly towards him, avoiding looking at his face. "I...I do know what I want." Another step closer. "This is what I want."

My lips touched his tentatively and his hands came to rest on my waist, drawing me closer as he kissed me back, slowly at first, then more heatedly, his tongue thrusting into my mouth as he held me tighter and turned me so that my back was to the wall. I was shaking and I clutched at him tightly, hoping it wasn't obvious. There was a camera two feet away and the boom mic six inches above my head, capturing every breath and moan. Paul drew back slightly and pulled his t-shirt off, tossing it onto the floor before he leaned in closer again and began to unfasten my shirt.

"It's ok, relax," he whispered.

I groaned inwardly, waiting for Rosalie to yell, 'Cut!' but she stayed silent. Paul's mouth covered mine again and my shirt slid down my arms and was gone. His body pressed harder against mine, his hands between my back and the wall, lips crushing mine, a deep groan leaving his throat a second before he broke the kiss again and ducked his head to nibble at my collarbone, hands stroking down my sides to my hips. My eyes were closed, lips parted and I emitted a realistic sounding moan. Paul's lips returned to mine for one gentle touch.

"Come to bed with me."

I opened my eyes and met his, then lowered mine again, let my lips curve up at the corners and nodded slightly.

"Cut!"

"Very nice, guys, I think we got it," Rosalie said. "Paul, I liked the bit of improv in there; well thought of. Steven would be reassuring Martin at this point. Let's get to the bedroom scene right away."

Paul grinned at me and backed away.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" he whispered.

I shook my head, hugely relieved and a little surprised that it had only taken one attempt to get it right. The other two very brief scenes weren't too bad although the first was still embarrassing. We had to strip down to underwear so that the outlines of pants weren't visible beneath the thin sheet, then get into the bed with Paul lying on top of me. My face burned, but luckily the lighting was dim and the cameras couldn't pick that up. I had to put my arms around Paul and dig my nails into his back, both of us panting and squirming for a handful of frames which we had to repeat three times because Paul was too loud and drowned out the sound of me; then I groaned, "Oh, God," and sounded like I was hating every second of what I was doing rather than discovering something amazing. However, it was done in just a few minutes and then we were onto the final scene which again was done in one take. I had to lie on my side with my eyes closed, a little smile on my face while Paul lay behind me, his arms around me and his mouth against my ear, whispering that he could fall in love with me.

"Cut!"

I heaved a sigh of relief and Paul let me go and sat up, giving my shoulder a squeeze before he sprang out of the bed and pulled his pants back on. The lights came on and I squinted and grimaced as I got to my feet and took my own pants from a crew member. My head was spinning and my pulse racing and I shook myself, figuring the former was caused by the sudden bright light and probably not helped by the fact that I missed breakfast again. I fastened my pants and looked around for my shirt, staggering slightly.

"Edward?" It was Rosalie's voice.

"Where's my shirt?" I mumbled.

"Edward, are you feeling ok?"

I turned to look at her and discovered that my peripheral vision was shrinking, making it seem as if she was at the other end of a tunnel.

"Fine," I said. Then I heard a rushing in my ears and a loud thump.

"Fuck! Ed! Hey!" Paul's voice, muffled as if he were in another room.

"Edward!" Rosalie again.

"Ed, can you open your eyes?"

A hand touched my face and I felt my body being moved into a different position.

"Don't move; Rose is sending for the medic."

"I'm alright," I whispered.

"You're not alright; you look fucking awful," Paul said. "Kinda yellow. Do you feel sick?"

"No."

"Ask him something," another voice said.

"Like what?"

"Anything."

"Ed, what's my name?" asked Paul.

"Steven."

"Yeah, I guess it is at the moment. Where are we?"

"In the studio. I'm ok."

"Who's the President?"

"Obama." I blinked rapidly. "What is this? The Spanish inquisition?"

"Fuck, Ed, you had us worried there for a minute. You passed out."

"I didn't have breakfast." I raised my head and tried to sit up, but dizziness made the room whirl around me and I subsided again.

"Jeez, just don't move. The doc's here now," Paul told me.

I could hear Rosalie's bossy voice demanding that everyone get out and give me some space and Paul insisting, "I'm staying". Then my pulse was being taken, something being clipped onto one of my fingers, a small scratch on another finger and a cuff on my arm, then the doctor telling me my pulse was too fast, my blood pressure was too low and that he was taking a small sample to check my sugar levels.

"I'm fine, I just didn't eat breakfast, that's all," I said.

"Have you missed many meals lately, Mr Cullen?"

"A few. Busy schedule and a lot of..."

I thought of Bella turning up at my hotel, refusing to leave me alone, drinking when she was pregnant, cheating with Sam, lying to me, my rehearsal with Paul, my guilt and inability to talk to Jacob, how much I longed for him and how far away from me he was, the press, everything that lay ahead of me.

"...stress," I choked out.

I could hear sobbing and wondered who was so upset by my collapse that they were in tears.

"Ed, come on, it's ok, you'll be alright," Paul was saying and a strong hand was gripping mine.

"We need to get him moved off this floor and onto the bed," the doctor's voice said.

"No...my trailer...please," I wept.

"Alright; then I'm going to set you up with an intravenous pack; you seem very dehydrated. Do we have a stretcher or anything here?"

"No need for that," said Paul gruffly.

I felt a pair of arms slide under my shoulders and knees and then I was on the move, cringing and covering my face with one hand as we emerged from the building and headed across the lot to my trailer, a crowd of crew and other people watching. Paul lowered me onto my bed and moved away and then the doctor was beside me again, asking questions, inserting a needle into my arm and hooking a bag of some kind of drip up above me. I was asked how often I'd been eating, what type of food, if I was sleeping, if I was taking any medication and if there was anyone they should call for me.

"Parents?" he suggested.

"No!" I exclaimed in horror. "I'm alright. I'm just over-tired and probably underfed. I'll look after myself better from now on."

"I suspect you could have a touch of anaemia. I'll need to have some tests done on your blood and I want to send a urine sample for testing as well when you're able to provide one."

"God," I moaned.

The doctor ushered the others out of the trailer and I provided the samples needed. Then he left and I lay in silence on the bed with my eyes closed, mortified and wondering if this would end up in the papers. It wouldn't surprise me at all if it did and then my parents would find out anyway. So would Jacob. I let out another groan and it was Rosalie who came to my side, she apparently having returned without me realising.

"Edward, listen to me."

"I'm so sorry," I said at once. "I'm sorry to let you down."

"You're not letting anybody down except yourself. You need to take better care of yourself, Edward. I know you have a lot going on right now, more than most, and it must be hell, but getting ill won't help you get through it. Now listen. Once we get you back to the hotel, I don't want to see you on set again for at least a week; longer if the doc thinks it necessary."

"But then you'll get behind," I protested.

"There is nothing more important than your health," she said firmly. "The filming will go on; I'll change the schedule and we'll move onto the teenage Martin's scenes. Those will take at least a week or two and it'll free up Paul and Jasper in the meantime so they can keep you company."

"I'm so sorry," I repeated.

"I don't want to hear another apology out of you, Edward," Rosalie said. "I want you to concentrate on getting better and forget about all of this for a little while. I need to ask, though - if you're having doubts about the movie, please tell me."

I sighed heavily. "I'm not," I said. "I was to begin with. Mainly only that scene with Paul, but it's done now. I'm going to finish it, I promise. It is going to be my last though."

"You're quitting acting?"

"Yes. I can't do it any more. I've never been happy in this life."

"A lot of people will be disappointed," Rose told me. "But you have to do what's right for you. I'm honoured that you decided to make my movie your last."

"I'll do a good job too, don't worry about that. And thanks, for being so understanding."

"No problem. Stay here and rest. Once the doc says you're ok to move, your driver can take you back to the hotel. Paul will go with you."

Rosalie left the trailer then and Paul came back in, telling me he had called Jasper to let him know I was sick and that the pair of them intended to hang around me and make complete nuisances of themselves to make sure I ate properly and didn't sit on my own stressing about everything.

"I'll be fine, you don't have to do that," I protested.

"Yeah, we do. Shit, Ed, you gave everybody a scare. You look awful under the makeup."

"You wouldn't have cared a few days ago," I pointed out.

"Well, like I said before, I wanted to fix things. Did something else happen?"

I told him about Bella coming to the hotel, the lingering question of whether the baby was even mine, my confusion about whether to care about it or not.

"You know you can ask her to get a test done right away," Paul said.

"I couldn't ask for that; it might put the baby at risk."

"No, it wouldn't. They can do non-invasive procedures now. I don't know the exact details, only that some friend of a girl I was seeing was in the same situation and she had it done when she was about three months gone. She didn't get the news she hoped for, but at least she knew. Bella would probably go for it because she'd find out sooner whether she can pin it on you or not and you wouldn't have to keep on wondering for another six months or however long it is. Ask the doc when he comes back if you want to know more, but I'm telling you, they can find out without it hurting the baby."

"Yeah, I'll ask him," I agreed. He was right; if it was Sam's baby I could stop worrying about it; if it was mine, I could deal with that in my head and prepare for its arrival, but at least I would know one way or the other rather than continuing to wait and wonder.

"So, have you talked to Jacob about all of this?" asked Paul.

"Some of it. I don't want him to keep worrying about me."

"Well, he's going to worry if this gets leaked to the press, isn't he? You should tell him."

"I can't. Not now," I sighed. "I'd probably break down again and I don't want him hearing that." I rubbed a hand over my face and chewed my lip. Jacob was probably already worrying about me after the way I'd avoided talking to him properly in the last few days.

"I could call him..."

"No!"

"Ed, do you want him to read in the paper that you collapsed on set and didn't tell him? Maybe the press won't find out, but I'd say that's pretty unlikely. If he loves you like you said, he'll be tearing his hair out."

"Ok," I said reluctantly.

"Give me your phone, then."

"It's on the table," I muttered.

"Stop worrying so much," Paul grinned, picking up the phone.

I watched as he scrolled through the numbers, looking for Jacob's. I knew well enough that when he heard I was sick he would come to me and I closed my eyes as I listened to Paul's side of the conversation. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. I needed him and if he could spend just one day with me, hold me and tell me everything would be ok, I could get through everything else.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

******Jacob's POV**

I sank back against the couch cushions with a sigh and put my bare feet on the coffee table. It was pouring with rain outside and I'd been forced to quickly gather my things up and run indoors when the heavens suddenly opened. Usually I was pretty good at predicting the weather from the look of the sky, the feel in the air and so on, but I'd been distracted and not by my writing. I couldn't get Edward out of my mind.

The last few days he had seemed different and I wasn't sure why. He had enjoyed playing with me online and I teased him by taking a shower so he could watch me. We had spent a long time talking that day and then since, he hadn't wanted me to see him. He made the excuse that he was tired and looked rough, but I was sure it was more than that. He was awkward on the phone and jumped from one subject to another, then a day went by and he didn't call at all.

The most surprising thing was that he had told me Paul Lahote wasn't being the complete asshole we both knew and apparently they were getting along ok, but I did wonder if it was that love scene that was bothering Edward. I didn't know exactly when it was due to come up in the schedule, but I knew from experience it would involve some rehearsing between the two of them before it was done in front of the cameras and I wouldn't have been a bit surprised if they had already done it. It would be just like Edward to feel guilty about it and think I'd be pissed about him getting it on with Paul, regardless of the fact that it was a role he was playing. I supposed I should have asked him straight out whether he'd done it yet, but he had avoided talking about the movie as much as possible and I'd left it. I would bring it up next time I talked to him though.

I saved my work and clicked on a news website, deciding to see what the latest was. I hadn't bothered that morning, but I doubted it would be anything new. Mostly, they were all talking about Edward's movie and the fact that he was playing a gay character and I smirked to myself as I thought about what Carlisle and Esme must have been feeling. They couldn't say anything publicly because lack of support for their son and any anti-gay comments would have shown them in a bad light and they were surely seething.

I scrolled back to the top of the Globe's front page and a new picture flashed up, apparently taken early that morning. They were certainly on form. The snap showed a rumpled and unhappy Bella leaving a hotel which I knew was the one Edward and some of the other cast were staying in and I scowled at the screen. Poor Edward didn't need any more of her shit with everything else he was having to deal with. The caption beneath the photograph stated that Bella had been observed leaving Edward's hotel early enough for the question to be asked on whether she had stayed the night, but I knew that wasn't the case and when I looked at another news site which was showing the same photograph, their journalist stated that he had seen Bella arrive less than an hour before and when she left, she appeared more miserable than when she arrived, indicating that her apparent meeting with Edward hadn't gone well.

I glanced at the time and guessed that Edward would be at the studio and would be there for several hours yet. I longed to talk to him, but I was going to have to wait until it was at least ten or eleven o'clock in Barbados before he would be back at his hotel. I opened up the document I had been working on again, deciding to do some editing. I could hear Adanna bustling around another part of the house, probably dusting or polishing. Since she had started working for me, the house had gleamed and smelled amazing and I constantly had delicious home-cooked things to eat. I had hired a part-time guy to come over one day a week to look after the yard and so far it was working out well.

Perhaps an hour later my phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket, my heart jumping when I looked at the small screen.

___'Edward Calling'._

I wondered if he had some time off filming that day and I touched the 'answer' button quickly and held the phone to my ear.

"Hey, baby."

"Huh...it's not 'baby', it's Paul Lahote."

"Fuck," I muttered and heard the man bark with laughter. "What are you doing with Edward's phone?" I demanded. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head, the main one being that something must have happened to him, but if that was the case, why the hell was Paul calling me and what must he be thinking about my term of endearment?

"Calling you, obviously. I'm sorry." He cleared his throat. "Look...I know about you and Edward, he told me; it's cool. I'm calling because he's having a tough time right now."

"A tough time how?" I shoved the laptop aside and put my feet on the ground. "What's going on?"

"He's kind of sick; I'm not sure, it might be some kind of breakdown. He passed out on set and I don't think he's been eating properly. The doc said it was anaemia and low blood pressure and he's been on a drip. He didn't want to worry you by calling..."

"Christ," I groaned. "Does he know you're calling?"

"Yeah, we're in his trailer, but we're going to be heading back to the hotel soon. The director told him to take a break for a week or so."

"I'm coming over," I said without hesitation. "Can I talk to Edward?"

"He's...um...resting," Paul said. "He's alright, me and Jasper are going to keep an eye on him. I suppose you know which hotel it is?"

"Yes. Give me your number, Paul, I'll call when I know what time I'll be there."

He reeled off a number quickly and I wrote it down, my hand shaking as I gripped the pen. A breakdown? If only he had talked more to me, but he was so concerned about being a burden to anybody or worrying them and now he was sick and probably apologising to everybody for it. I ended the call with Paul and picked up the computer again, quickly searching for flights from Grantley Adams to LAX and discovering that there were free seats on a plane leaving in just over two hours. The seats were all in coach, but I booked one quickly, paid online and hooked up my printer to get my boarding pass. Then I ran to my bedroom and grabbed a bookbag, throwing into it a pair of socks, underwear and a shirt, my passport and a few other bits and pieces I may need. Anything else I could buy when I got there.

"Is something wrong, Mr Black?" Adanna asked as I raced back to the lounge to get my wallet which I had left there when I booked the flight.

"Edward's not well; I'm going to LA," I told her. "I'm not sure how long I'll be."

"He will be better with you there," she nodded. "I'll look after the house for you."

"Thanks, Adanna, I'll see you soon."

I considered driving to the airport, but knew it would only take longer while I drove around the airport parking lots looking for a free space and getting the connecting bus to the terminal. I jogged down the driveway to the road instead to look for a ride. The Experience came by every ten or fifteen minutes and I was in luck; I could see one of the white buses in the distance heading my way and I stuck my arm out and waved. The vehicle screeched to a halt, throwing up a cloud of dust and I climbed in quickly, handing over my half dollar. There were only two other passengers in the bus and the driver took off again, stopping once in the centre of Bridgetown to let the other people out.

"Where you going?" the driver asked me.

"The airport, can you be quick?"

"Sure thing."

We were off again, weaving in and out of the traffic, the bus swaying from side to side and finally halting right in front of the airport terminal with about eighty minutes to spare. I tipped the guys five dollars, earning huge gleaming smiles from both and ran inside to check in. Since I had no luggage it was done in minutes and I was on my way through security to Departures, looking for one of the electronic boards to check the status of my flight. It was on time and due to start boarding in thirty minutes. I heaved a sigh of relief and went to buy a soda from a fastfood bar while I waited to board, then took my phone out again and called Paul to tell him I would be in LA in ten hours and probably at the hotel in eleven.

"How is he?" I asked anxiously.

"Sleeping, I think. We're back at the hotel. I'm in my own room, but Jasper's with him."

"Ok. I didn't thank you before," I remembered.

"No need. I owe him; I was a jerk when we met on set, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you."

"I can overlook it if you're watching out for him now."

I ended the call and went to sit down while I waited for my flight to be called. I had expected it to be weeks, or more likely months before I saw Edward again and now I would be with him in a just a few hours, but I would have given anything for it to be in different circumstances.

******Edward's POV**

"What did he say?" I asked Paul.

I was lying on the bed in the trailer, still weak and shaky and struggling to get myself together. I was mortified by my collapse and crying episode and I just knew that the rest of the cast and the crew would be gossiping about me and saying I couldn't cut it. Now in addition, I knew Jacob would be worrying after I heard Paul tell him I passed out and might be having some kind of breakdown.

"He's getting on a plane."

I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face.

"He doesn't need to do that; I'll be ok when I get back to the hotel and have some food and sleep."

"Well, you're not ok now. He didn't even hesitate."

"The press will be all over this," I sighed.

"Fuck the press. Let them say whatever the hell they like; you know they will anyway. Jacob obviously doesn't care and you shouldn't either. This time next year they'll have something more important to write about than the star who turned gay and quit, so either ignore it for now, or suck it up. Don't let their shit bother you."

"Yeah, you're right." I relaxed slightly and thought instead about Jacob rushing to the airport to come to me. Depending on when he could get a flight, I might even see him by the end of the day and my pulse quickened.

"A smile? Well, that's an improvement," Paul said. "He said he'd call and let me know what time he'll be here."

Jacob called when we were back at the hotel although I didn't find out for a few hours. Marcus drove us back and Paul took me to my room, where Jasper appeared within minutes, looking horrified by my appearance. Paul left us and Jasper stayed, giving me the few things worth eating in the minibar and suggesting I get some sleep. He would call room service later for dinner. I ate chips and nuts and a bar of chocolate, drank some water and juice and stretched out on the bed in my clothes and the next thing I knew it was dusk, Jasper was pulling a trolley of food into the room and Paul had sent me a text message to tell me that Jacob called a few hours before to tell him he was about to board his plane. He would be in LA in about another four hours. My heart jumped and my stomach immediately filled with butterflies, but at the same time I was nervous. There was something I needed to tell him and I should have done it days ago.

Jasper ate dinner with me and I took some of the meds the doctor had left. They were only vitamins and iron and he had reported that my tests were fine; I was run down and anaemic, but otherwise just in need of food and rest. I put aside the empty plate which had held a large slab of cheesecake and picked up the glass of juice Jasper had ordered for me. There were some things I had to tell him too.

"I have to talk to you about something," I said.

"Sounds serious." He cleared away the plates to the trolley and sat down again.

"Yeah, I should have said something sooner really. It's not the easiest thing in the world to announce though. Actually there are two things." I paused and took another drink. "Chains is my last movie; I'm quitting."

"Fuck!" Jasper exclaimed. "When did you decide this? How come you never told me?"

"I'm telling you now. I intended to keep it to myself for a while yet, but Rosalie and Paul know now and...well...I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. You know I've never really been happy doing this."

"Yeah, but still; I didn't realise you would consider walking away. What does Carlisle think?"

"He's not impressed. I didn't actually tell him I'm quitting, but he got the message from what I did say."

"Fuck," Jasper said again. "So what are you going to do instead?"

"I'm not sure yet. I guess that depends on what happens with...something else I have to tell you about. I'm kind of...seeing somebody and I imagine it's going to be public knowledge before very much longer."

"Shit, you are a dark horse, Edward. How have you managed to start a relationship with someone without anybody knowing?"

"Mostly it's been by...phone although we had some time together before I went on tour with Dad."

"You were in Barbados then."

"Yeah." My face warmed. "It's...um...Jacob Black."

Jasper's mouth dropped open. "Since when did you like guys?"

"Since I was a kid. Really, it's only him, but I guess I must be bi."

"Fuck me! Um...don't take that literally." Jasper snorted slightly. "Sorry...um...I hardly know what to say. I never had any clue."

"Well, that was my intention. When I went to Barbados I was cut up over Bella; it wasn't until a day or two before I left that we actually talked."

"What made you decide to tell me now?"

"He's on his way here; Paul called him."

"How is it that Lahote knows all about it?"

"He more or less guessed. It was when we had to rehearse the love scene and I fucked it up. He took the piss and then I guess he felt bad for it and told me some things about himself, so I did the same."

"Wow," breathed Jasper.

"You don't care, do you?"

"Hell, no. I'm just surprised. Do your parents know?"

"Not yet and they're going to go crazy, especially when the press find out. They banned Jacob from seeing me when I was eighteen after my mother caught us kissing." I grinned at the memory. "That was the main reason I did 'The Last Train'; I wanted to be able to see him."

I went on to tell Jasper briefly how Jacob and I had both cared for each other, but it had taken until now for anything to come of it. He was very surprised, but at the same time pleased that I had someone to be with, after all the shit I'd had to endure lately. Later he told me that Bella had been photographed leaving the hotel, but the papers weren't making much of it given that she looked completely miserable and so far it didn't seem that the news of my collapse had gotten out.

I called Leah to update her on what had been happening and then I called Rosalie too. Jacob's arrival was going to draw attention and I wanted her to be aware of it before the press made up their own story. She immediately recognised the parallels between my life and Martin Fuller's and suggested that she and I both meet with Leah in a couple of days when I felt up to it, to decide how to handle things. If it was all going to come out about me being with Jacob, then some kind of statement was going to have to be made.

"Whatever we decide, don't let it add to your stress, Edward," she said.

"I can't help it. It might be bad for the movie."

"I doubt it. You have virtually universal support from both fans and critics. Maybe a few will have something to say, but the world isn't going to turn its back on you for falling in love with a guy."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Well, we'll deal with it when we have to. I'm sure Leah will know exactly the best way to move forward. Look how she handled you punching her brother."

I grinned at last. "As long as you're not worried about this affecting the movie."

"If it looks likely to, there'll be ways around it. Like I said, we'll meet with Leah in a few days and figure it out. Just get better, Edward, ok?"

Paul and Jasper were both in my room when Jacob arrived. I knew Jasper still didn't like Paul, but they made an effort to get along with each other and the three of us watched a movie to pass the time, although I missed a good portion of it, too busy thinking about Jacob to concentrate on anything else. Paul had apparently told him my room number, but reception called up to tell me I had a visitor, amusingly not knowing who he was and refusing to let him come up until they checked with me. Minutes later there was a knock on the door and my pounding heart sped up. Paul let him in and they shook hands briefly before my new confidante made himself scarce and Jasper quickly followed. Then the door closed and we were alone.

He was wearing jeans, shirt and sneakers, a few days growth on his face and he had nothing with him except for a bookbag which he dropped beside the couch. Neither of us said anything; he rapidly closed the gap between us and then I was in his arms, holding on tight to him and pressing my face into his neck. He hugged me closer, one hand stroking up and down my back and his lips brushing my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, his heart hammering in his chest, keeping time with mine, the roughness of his chin when it touched my cheek. Then he was stepping back, tugging me around the end of the couch and down onto the cushions.

"I've been worried about you," he said.

"I'm sorry. It was Paul's idea to call; he thought the press might find out what happened, but they don't seem to have yet."

"Before that. You haven't seemed yourself the last few days. I was going to ask you about it next time we talked, but then Paul called and I just...got on a plane."

"You must have been surprised to hear from him."

"Pretty much. I know you said you were getting on ok, but...what's been going on?"

"I haven't been looking after myself too well," I admitted. "I haven't been able to sleep properly and with the long hours filming, Bella turning up again, me worrying about the movie and you, I kept forgetting to eat. I'll be fine in a few days."

"What made you worry about me?" he asked. "Is it the iPad thing? If it makes you uncomfortable..."

"I love 'the iPad thing'," I interrupted. "It's not that. I wanted to tell you something for a few days, but it sounds so awful I didn't know how to." I leaned away from him and dragged a hand through my hair. "Do you want some coffee or something?"

"I'm fine, Edward, just tell me whatever it is." He took my hand and laced our fingers together. "I was wondering if that scene you had to do was bothering you."

"It was the practise run. My character and Paul's kiss and he takes his shirt off and then mine; they're leaning up against a wall. That's it, really, but I was so fucking nervous about it and I messed it up. He took the piss out of me, which was only what I expected and then we tried again and for some reason I thought about my eighteenth and I...got hard." I shuddered at the memory and pulled my hand free. "I don't know what happened; I'm not attracted to Paul, not at all. I'm sorry."

"This is what's been worrying you?" Jacob asked softly.

"Mmm." I rested my elbows on my knees and dropped my head into my hands.

"You were acting out a role and you got hard thinking about me? Edward, you have enough going on in your life to get stressed about without adding to it with things that don't matter. Just forget about it. Did you film the scene yet?"

"Yeah, right before I collapsed. We got it in the first take." I let out the breath I'd been holding and straightened up. I knew I'd blown the whole thing up out of all proportion; I was my own worst enemy sometimes and I leaned closer to Jacob, resting my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. "Can we just forget about this?"

"Already forgotten. I just arrived after Paul called to say you were sick." He slid both arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "So tell me about everything else. Rosalie seems like a decent woman; she gave you time off?"

"A week at least. She said they'll work on my character's teenage years and any other scenes that don't include me." I went on to tell her about Jasper and Alice looking like they might get together, Paul's suggestion that Bella could have a test early to find out whose baby she was carrying which I intended to request and the fact that I had told Rose, Paul and Jasper that I intended to quit.

"I'm guessing they all know about me?" Jacob asked.

"Yes. Aren't you worried about what the press will say? You went to so much trouble to escape all of this."

"No, I didn't, I just moved somewhere I liked. I really don't care what they say, Edward, they'll get tired of it again eventually. Isn't this going to affect things for you, though?"

"Rosalie suggested meeting with Leah to figure out how to handle it. It's only my parents I'm worried about. Rose suggested I use the opportunity to announce that this is my last movie because it'll take the focus off you a little bit and make it less likely that I'll lose support."

"In my experience you won't lose support for coming out," Jacob said. "A lot of girls will cry into their pillows, but you won't suddenly become a pariah. I don't know if you remember what was written about me, but a lot of it was to the tune of, 'why did I hide who I was for so long; I must have been miserable and lonely for years.' I was actually surprised; I was convinced people would shun me if they knew I was gay and my manager discouraged me from letting anyone know. "

I wondered if the comparison with Jacob's life would be made if I announced both things at once, or whether it would only be connected to my character's life in the movie. I decided to just try to think about the whole thing as little as possible until I talked to Leah, which I planned to do again the next morning. In the meantime I'd already wasted far too much time since Jacob arrived.

I raised my head and brushed my lips against his rough jaw, then his own lips as he turned his head towards me. His hand lifted to cup my cheek and his mouth covered mine, his lips caressing mine firmly, the tip of his tongue sliding along the lower one, seeking entrance. It was the first time where nothing had been in the way. After our first kiss my mother walked in on us and the second time I had only just been ready to start moving on and it had been time for me to leave Barbados. Now there was nothing to keep us away from each other or interrupt and my own tongue toyed with Jacob's as he thrust it into my mouth. I heard myself moan and Jacob's arms slid around me, pulling me closer to him as he continued to kiss me heatedly, a deep groan rumbling out of his throat.

My heart raced and blood rushed to my groin, rapidly filling my cock and pushing it upright in my pants. I was still wearing the outfit from the set and the loose dress pants did nothing to restrain my arousal. I wondered if the kiss was affecting Jacob as much as it was me and when he left my lips and moved his mouth to the side of my neck, I glanced down and noticed the unmistakable bulge in his jeans. My erection twitched and I groaned, clutching at Jacob's shoulders in an effort to keep from touching myself.

"We shouldn't rush into this," Jacob murmured, warm breath tickling my neck inside the shirt collar.

"I want you," I breathed.

"You're not well and I didn't bring anything with me."

"I'm fine," I protested. I was more than fine now he was here and I ached to feel his hands on me, finally, after so long waiting. "Please...touch me."

"God, Edward."

His lips nibbled my neck teasingly for a moment and then he drew back a few inches. His hand moved to my chest, the tips of his fingers touching my heated skin in the open 'V' at the neck, slowly unfastening one button and then another. I lowered my eyes to watch his progress, his hungry gaze on my face making me blush. He slid his hand inside the shirt, lightly stroking my chest, brushing his thumb over one of my nipples and making it harden and tingle. My cock quivered and I could feel a damp patch forming in my underwear as it leaked pre-cum. My balls ached and I shifted awkwardly, alternately holding my breath and gasping for air as Jacob's hand worked its way lower, exploring my abs and making my stomach muscles jump. His wrist bumped my erection as it tented the pants and I moaned again; then his hand was gone and was instead touching my face, making me look at him.

"Let's move this to your bed, it'll be more comfortable."

"Ok," I whispered.

We rose from the couch together and I switched off the lights as I led the way into the bedroom, then drew the drapes. Jacob closed the door and I stood beside the bed waiting for him to come to me. This was it; at last I was going to feel his hands on me, put my hands on him, sleep in his arms and wake with him beside me.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

**Jacob's POV**

I walked slowly towards Edward where he stood beside the bed, his lower lip drawn between his teeth, giving away his nervousness while his eyes burned with longing. I had never wanted anyone so desperately and my excitement was heightened by the fact that this time it wasn't going to remain an unrealised fantasy. I could feel the uncomfortable pressure of my cock against the front of my tight jeans and Edward was very obviously just as aroused as I was, but I had to remind myself not to rush things. He had never had a man touch him and although he had almost begged me to do just that, I didn't want to go too far too soon and spoil things. The fact that I had neither condoms nor lube with me was probably a good thing.

I touched his face lightly when I reached him, capturing his lips again in a warm kiss and sliding my arm around his waist. He melted against me in a second, moaning into my mouth as he responded heatedly, his hands gripping my shoulders, his body pressing into mine and letting me feel how much he wanted me. I lowered my hand from his face to his chest, stroking him inside the open fronts of his shirt and feeling him shiver under my touch, his nipples stiffening further as I brushed over them, his stomach quivering as I traced his happy trail down to his belt. I didn't break the kiss as I pushed his shirt from his shoulders, only taking my lips from his briefly to peel my t-shirt off over my head and toss it aside before we were kissing again, lips crushed against teeth, tongues entwining. It was Edward who tore his mouth away from mine eventually, panting for breath, his eyes opening slowly to meet mine, the rich green of his irises almost obscured by black.

I toed off my sneakers quickly, the movement of each leg making my clothed cock nudge and rub against Edward's, drawing soft whimpers and gasps from him. I slid a hand between us again and fumbled his belt buckle undone, finding myself trembling almost as much as he was, my pecs twitching when his fingers traced over them. I freed the button at the waistband of his pants and slowly lowered the zipper, his erection bumping my knuckles as it strained through the opening, covered by damp, white cotton. He hissed through his teeth and mumbled something incoherent, his cheeks colouring as his pants slid down his legs and I backed up a step, wrenching my jeans undone impatiently and shoving them down with relief as the pressure on my cock diminished.

Edward bent to pull his socks off and kicked his pants aside, then turned and lowered himself onto the bed on his side, facing away from me. I joined him quickly, stretching out behind him and sliding an arm around his waist, caressing the pulse in the side of his neck with my lips and shivering as my aching erection came into contact with his butt. I immediately pictured us naked together, Edward's leg raised to give me access, me guiding myself into him and I was unable to suppress a groan. I slid my hand lower, cupping him through his shorts, stroking lightly. He was shaking and quivering under my touch and his hips moved slightly, unconsciously pushing himself into my hand and rubbing himself against my groin.

"Oh, God, Jacob," he whispered.

"Edward, if I do anything you don't want, let me know, ok?" I said softly.

"There isn't anything you could do that I don't want."

I took my hand off of him for a moment, slipping my fingers into the waistband of his shorts and lowering them enough to free his cock before wrapping my hand around it, feeling the pulsing heat in it and the wetness of pre-cum. He groaned loudly and squirmed against me, his breath coming in harsh gasps as I began to stroke him slowly, but firmly, gyrating my hips slightly and grinding myself against him as he bucked into my hand.

"Fuck...uh...God...I'm not going to last," Edward mumbled, his cheek burning under my lips as I traced kisses along his jawline.

"Come for me," I breathed into his ear. "I'm close too."

I increased the speed of my hand, jerking him off and rubbing my thumb over the head of his cock, leaning over him so that I could watch. He came hard, thick spurts of cum exploding from him onto the bed covers in front of him, the last drops dripping onto my hand as I stroked him through his orgasm, his eyes now closed and lips parted as he panted and groaned. I released his cock reluctantly and held him until he pulled away briefly and adjusted his shorts, then turned over to face me. His eyes were lowered, fixed on my aching erection and it twitched and pushed against my jersey shorts under his gaze.

"Do you want me to do that?"

"Do you want to?" I responded.

"Yes, I just...don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never disappoint me, Edward." I touched his lips lightly with my own. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Let's do this in the shower," I decided, sitting up slowly.

I was aching and probably wouldn't last much longer than he had, but I didn't want to make too much of a mess of the bed before we had even gotten into it. I got to my feet and went into the bathroom, turning on the water and shedding my shorts while I waited for it to run hot. Edward came to me a moment later and his underwear quickly joined mine on the floor. I stepped into the shower stall, which was luckily large enough for two and in a second Edward was in my arms again, his cock still half hard as mine pushed eagerly against him and I groaned at the feel of his naked body against me. I cupped his face, bringing his lips to mine again and plunging my tongue into his mouth without hesitation, shivering as I felt his hands slip down my sides to my hips and pause there. My cock twitched painfully against his belly and I resisted the urge to jerk him closer and grind myself against him. His hands slowly made their way between us and he backed up a little, breaking our kiss and dropping his eyes to watch as his fingertips traced my abs tormentingly slowly. I looked down too, watching the swollen, purple head of my cock quivering desperately just out of reach of Edward's long, slim fingers. I knew he was just taking his time, but it felt as if he were purposefully teasing me, making me wait for his touch.

At last his palm brushed over my tip and he lowered his hand further, curling his fingers around my shaft, his skin suddenly seeming stark white against my caramel colour. My breath hissed in through my teeth as he finally held my cock in his hand, stroking slowly, gripping a little tighter after a moment, rubbing his thumb over the head the same way I had done with him.

"Oh, fuck," I groaned.

I wanted to roll my head back against the wall and close my eyes; to just feel, but watching was making the whole thing even more erotic. I kept my eyes open, my legs trembling as he pumped me more firmly, his free hand suddenly reaching down to cup my balls, squeezing and caressing as I rocketed shamefully fast towards orgasm.

"Oh, God...keep doing that...fuck...gonna come..." I babbled, thrusting myself urgently into his hand.

He quickened his pace more, his hand flying over my cock and I came hard, watching through half-closed eyes as my fluid jetted out of me and painted Edward's chest. It had been a long time - far too long since anything other than my own hand had given me pleasure and to have the one person I would have done anything for touching me was heaven.

Edward rinsed himself quickly under the shower and then moved closer, leaning against me and pressing his face into my neck. I hugged him tightly, feeling his hardness push against my belly and immediately imagining all the things I wanted to do to him; to share with him.

"Was that ok?" His lips brushed my ear as he spoke.

"Are you kidding? I haven't come so hard in a very long time." I pushed him away a few inches so I could meet his eyes. "I love you so much, Edward."

"I love you too." His hands stroked over my chest where they rested. "You have no idea how much I wanted this, or for how long. I'm glad you're here, Jacob. Nothing else seems to matter so much now." He paused and dropped his eyes away from mine. "How long can you stay?"

"I haven't thought about it," I said honestly. "When Paul called me, I didn't think about anything except getting here; I didn't even pack anything except for a change of socks and shorts. I don't have anything to rush back to, though, so I guess I'll just stay as long as you want me to. There's no hurry to decide, is there?"

He shook his head. "Are you sure the press writing about you again isn't going to bother you? Cause problems for you?"

"I don't care about that. Let them say what they like. I was more concerned about news about me being on the scene making things difficult for you, but we'll just deal with whatever comes, ok?"

"Yeah."

Grinning, Edward stepped back again and picked up a bottle of shower gel and I watched as he soaped himself and rinsed off. He was still hard, his cock standing upright and bumping his stomach each time he moved and I quickly took the shower gel from him to wash as he left the stall and grabbed a towel. By the time I was out of the shower and dry, Edward was lying on the bed waiting for me and I hurried to join him, my heart racing and blood rushing to my groin again at the sight of him lying there naked and aroused. I hadn't taken the time to look at him properly yet and as I lay down facing him, finally I did.

I brought his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, caressing his lips slowly and rolling him onto his back, stroking my hand over his chest and feeling his heart hammering erratically, his lips parting to gasp for breath as mine left them. I traced a line of kisses along his collarbone and down the centre of his chest and he shivered and squirmed beneath me, one hand coming to rest on my head, the fingers curling into my short, wet hair. I circled one of his nipples with my fingers, pinching lightly while I drew the other between my lips, sucking and nibbling the small nub, making Edward groan, his nails digging into my scalp. I glanced downwards, eyeing his erection as it reared up from his belly and I couldn't wait to taste him, but I continued to take my time, working my way slowly down his body with caresses and kisses, taking in the sight of his pale skin with its sprinkling of light brown chest hair, his happy trail leading to neatly trimmed pubic hair and his beautiful cock rising from it, the mushroom head swollen and quivering, almost red in colour.

"God...please..." he moaned as his tip bumped my face, leaving a small smear of pre-cum on my cheek.

I turned and swiped my tongue over his slit, tasting him and humming my approval, then drawing the head between my lips for a brief moment before I released it again.

"Is this ok?"

"Fuck...yes!" Edward panted.

I pulled myself up and moved further down the bed, pushing his feet apart in order to kneel between them, surprised when he drew his knees up and spread them apart, eagerly offering himself to me and allowing me a glimpse of his tight puckered hole.

"Holy shit," I whispered as I positioned myself between his legs.

What I wouldn't give to be pushing myself into him, watching my length disappear inside of him, feeling his tight heat gripping me. I could barely remember the last time I had sex, but it wouldn't be comparable to doing it with the person I loved so much. I couldn't wait.

I bent over him, taking his cock in my hand and guiding it into my mouth, sucking firmly on the head and swirling my tongue around it, cupping his balls in my free hand and rolling them around, squeezing lightly. Edward squirmed and shuddered, his butt rising from the mattress in an effort to thrust himself deeper into my mouth. I lowered my head, taking more of his length in until he touched the back of my throat, swallowing around him. His back arched, fists clenching at his sides and he groaned and gasped loudly, chest rising and falling rapidly as I continued sucking and stroking, bobbing my head, then taking both hands off of him and tucking them under him, guiding his movements so that he fucked my mouth. I could feel his orgasm building, almost as quickly as the first one and I returned one hand to his cock, gripping the base firmly and adding to the sensations he would be feeling.

"Jacob...fuck...so close...stop..." he panted.

I ignored him of course, dropping my head lower until my nose brushed the soft hair surrounding his cock, feeling it beginning to pulse in my mouth a second before he shot his load into my throat.

"Oh, fuck...uh..." he groaned.

His body suddenly went limp beneath me, his legs sliding down flat, fists uncurling. His lips were parted as he panted for breath and I slowly released him and moved to lie at his side, waiting for him to catch his breath. He turned towards me and I slid my arms around him.

"I want to try that." The words were so quiet I barely heard them and I tilted his face to look at him. His eyelids were fluttering, barely able to stay open.

"You're tired," I observed, only now remembering he had been sick.

"I'm fine. You're still hard."

"I can wait." I sat up and pulled the sheet out from under me. "Come on, get in the bed."

He did so silently and I drew him back into my arms, stretching out on my back with a sigh as he nestled against me, head against my shoulder and his hand resting over my heart.

"Get some sleep, baby, I'm not going anywhere."

"Love you," Edward mumbled and in the next moment his breathing slowed and deepened, his head growing heavier against my shoulder and I grinned to myself, glancing down my body as my cock subsided slowly. I was pretty tired myself after the long flight and I could certainly wait until the next day.

When I opened my eyes hours later, it was daylight and Edward was gone from my arms. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, glancing around the room. The bathroom door was closed and I heard the toilet flush, then running water and I yawned again and stretched, waiting for him to come back. He emerged a few minutes later, naked and grinning.

"Morning."

"Hey."

"Sorry I fell asleep."

To my surprise he sprang onto the bed and kneeled astride me, trapping my body there beneath him, only a thin layer of sheet separating us as he bent to kiss me. He tasted of toothpaste and as his lips caressed mine, my morning erection hardened further and strained up against him. I rested my hands on his thighs and stroked the firm flesh, glancing down when he broke the kiss and noticing his cock growing rapidly. He squirmed slightly, rubbing himself against my hardness and I groaned, wishing the sheet wasn't between us; wishing to God I brought lube with me.

As if he had read my mind, Edward rose from me, grabbed the sheet and worked it free from beneath his knees, throwing it to the bottom of the bed before he lowered himself onto me again, his butt resting on my thighs, his balls touching mine. I sat up quickly, sliding my arms around him, my pulse quickening as his erection came into contact with mine.

"You're keen this morning," I teased.

"I almost can't believe you're here. I want to make the most of it."

"We've got plenty of time."

I removed one arm from his waist and slipped my hand between us, grasping his cock and pressing it against my own, rubbing my palm up and down and creating friction between us. Edward groaned and squirmed on my lap, thrusting himself against me and lowering his head to nibble my neck, his teeth scraping my skin gently, nipping my ear. I continued stroking both of us together, realising that yet again it wasn't going to take very long. I wanted to take him in my mouth again, but at the same time I didn't want to move; the feel of his cock against mine was making my heart race and my breath hitch in my throat as he throbbed and twitched, oozing pre-cum which wet my fingers and dribbled onto my own cock. He came a few seconds before I did, his shaft pulsing against mine, shooting his cum onto my belly as he panted and groaned loudly in my ear. When I finished, my fluid mingled with his, leaving us wet and sticky and in need of another shower.

"God, I have no control at all," Edward groaned, reddening a touch as he slid off of my lap.

"You're not on your own."

I hauled myself up shakily and headed for the bathroom to clean up. Edward joined me in the shower and then went to dress and order room service to bring us some breakfast. I put on the few clean items of clothing I had and my jeans, deciding I was going to have to go shopping later that day, otherwise the laundry service were going to be called upon daily so that I could rotate what I had.

We ate breakfast at the small table in the lounge. Edward had ordered a huge spread of bacon, sausage, eggs, hash browns and pancakes with two types of juice and coffee and we devoured every scrap between us. He was looking a lot better than he had when I arrived, both physically and in his attitude and the latest article in the Globe, which had arrived with the food didn't seem to bother him too much.

_'Stressed Edward Cullen Collapses on Set', _was the headline.

"They took their time," he said. "That's old news now. I was hoping it wouldn't get out, but things always do."

He read a few lines of the article out loud to me, indicating that 'a source' advised that the on-set medic had been required to carry out some tests after he had passed out following the filming of a love scene between him and co-star, Paul Lahote. The journalist speculated that the recent events involving Bella and Sam had put Edward under too much pressure and he had finally given into it.

"Oh, shit," he muttered then, grimacing.

"What else does it say?"

"They know you're here already." He handed me the paper and I turned it over to look at the article.

Beneath the account of Edward's collapse was a small photograph of me heading into the hotel and another paragraph alongside.

_'Jacob Black arrives at Edward Cullen's hotel last evening.'_

"They must have someone camped out there," I commented.

_'Could it be coincidence that Edward recently spent two weeks in Barbados, visiting retired star, Jacob, at his villa? Now following Edward's collapse, the one-time family friend rushes to his side. Perhaps Bella's recent activities have pushed Edward so far that he turns to a man for comfort - much like his character, Martin Fuller, in 'The Chains That Bind Us', his current movie.'_

I sighed heavily. "Carlisle's not going to be happy."

"He'll go crazy. I need to call Leah." Edward picked up his phone quickly, but it rang before he could search for the number. "Hey, I was just going to call you," he answered.

From his side of the conversation, I gathered that Leah was going to come straight over to see us and that she intended to call Rosalie and arrange for her to attend as well. Edward hung up after a few minutes and dragged his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry about this."

"Stop saying you're sorry." I gave him a brief one-armed hug. "I told you I don't care about me. We just need to work out what you're going to do about this."

"I might have to make some kind of statement."

"Leah will know the best way to go," I said. "Just do what's best for you; whatever that is, I'll support it, so don't think that I'm going to be upset or pissed about it."

"Thank you. I just hate that things are starting out like this for us. I mean...I'm assuming that...we're going to be together after."

"Edward, I've wanted you since you were a kid. I love you; I'm going nowhere," I said firmly. "If you want me in your life, nothing will take me away from you."

"I want you more than anything," he said at once. "So long as I have you, I don't care what else happens."

"So don't worry, then. Let's just deal with this meeting with Leah and Rosalie and go from there. I'll talk to Carlisle and Esme too, if it comes to it; if that's what you want."

"I think I'll deal with them myself," Edward frowned. "There's nothing they can say to me now that's going to spoil things for me. In fact I'll call them now and pre-empt them." He picked up his phone again and selected a number. A moment later he was holding the phone away from his ear and I could hear Esme's voice myself, although I couldn't make out the words; eventually Edward interrupted.

"No, you listen, Mom. Leah is coming over and we'll figure out what we're going to tell the press. Jacob is staying for the moment. I'm sorry, but I don't care. I love him. You took him away from me once, but you're not doing it again. You and Dad are just going to have to decide whether or not you'll support me."

He continued the conversation for a while, mainly discussing me and the movie and then adding that he had already told Carlisle that he was miserable in the public eye. He added that 'Chains' was going to be his last movie and that nothing would change his mind. He intended to make an annoucement to the press when Leah and Rosalie decided the time was right, but that it could very well be imminent. His mother was obviously furious, but Edward remained reasonably calm until he hung up.

"She's pissed," he said to me, dropping the phone onto the table. "Nothing she said really surprised me. She can't believe that I'm letting myself be corrupted by 'one of those types of people' - she couldn't even say your name. She's hurt that I'm throwing everything she and Dad have given me back in their faces and so on and so forth and she had plenty to say about the movie too. I'm used to it. I'm sure they'll make out that they support me for the sake of their image and try to make me feel guilty and change my mind at the same time. I let them control me for far too long, Jacob. Hopefully they'll get over it eventually."

"I'm sure your parents love you, Edward, they're just too used to having you do what they want."

"Well, they're going to have to get used to me doing what suits me from now on," he said firmly. "It's time I was in control of my future."


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

**Edward's POV**

I felt at least a hundred times better than I had twenty-four hours before. I had taken the doctor's advice and stuffed myself with good food, taken the pills and slept well, but it was much more than that. Jacob's presence had made the biggest difference to me. I realised I had still had a few doubts before he arrived, concerned that I had too much going on in my life, too much drawing attention to me, bringing publicity that he wouldn't want to get involved in, but he just didn't care about it - not at all.

Jacob loved me! He had said so repeatedly and he had shown me in the way he held me, looked at me, touched me, slept with his arms wrapped around me as if he wanted to keep me safe. It made everything I had to face seem less of a problem; more like a nuisance to be gotten rid of rather than an enormous drama that I dreaded. I was no longer alone and it was an enormous relief.

I had already spoken to my mother and she'd been furious and shocked to hear about Jacob and had then tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to leave acting. I _had_ felt a little guilty, but only a little; I reminded myself that Mom probably didn't actually feel hurt by my behaviour, but was using it to try to manipulate me as she had always done. I'd seen her do it with Dad too to get her own way. After hanging up, I had felt a weight lift off of me. I had said what I meant, told her I intended to be with Jacob and nothing - not her, or Dad or the press or anything else - was going to spoil it for me. I still had Dad to deal with directly of course - I was sure he would be calling me before too long to express his displeasure.

I glanced at Jacob where he sat beside me and blew my breath out slowly, then leaned back against the cushions and relaxed as I waited for the arrival of Leah and Rosalie. Again I thought about the difference Jacob made to me and aside from how much stronger I felt with him here, he had made me feel amazing physically and I couldn't wait to feel his hands and mouth on me again. I couldn't wait for him to make love to me, but I imagined he didn't want to rush things. He already asked me to tell him if I didn't like something he did, but I wanted him, badly. I had only been able to imagine how it would feel, although I could picture myself beneath him, holding onto him as his weight pressed me into the mattress, driving his cock into me. I remembered the way it looked in my hand, a shade darker than the rest of his silky caramel skin, the head purple with his arousal. I had made him come...

"Edward, what the hell are you thinking about?" Jacob chuckled suddenly.

"Um..." I felt my face heat up as I realised my cock was straining eagerly at the front of my pants, forming a very obvious bulge. "I...um...it's your fault!" I exclaimed.

"I should hope so." He laughed again softly and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "We'll have company soon. Do you want me to hang around, or shall I take off while you talk to them?"

"It's probably best if you stay because whatever they decide, I want to be sure it's ok with you."

"Edward, I already told you, you don't have to worry about me," Jacob said firmly. "Do what's gonna be best for you, whether that includes telling the truth about me or not."

I nodded, relieved when my erection subsided quickly. Minutes later someone knocked on the door and I got up, realising it couldn't be Leah or Rosalie because reception would have called the room to tell me. I opened the door and found Jasper outside, wanting to check if I was ok.

"You look better," he commented.

"Thanks. Have you seen the papers?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's why I'm here; I wondered if you had."

"We got one sent up with breakfast. Leah and Rosalie are both on their way over to figure out how to deal with it."

I didn't invite him into the room, but he seemed keen to take off anyway and revealed that Alice was waiting for him.

"The press doesn't seem to have even noticed us yet," he grinned. "Must be down to you; nobody cares what we get up to."

Leah arrived ten minutes later, giving me a firm sisterly hug as always and greeting Jacob with a handshake before she threw herself into one of the armchairs. She outlined her thoughts on dealing with the press while we waited for Rosalie and seemed to have decided that an interview with the Globe similar to the one I had done previously, would be the way to go. When Rose arrived, she agreed completely and was willing to let Leah dictate what I should say, only insisting that she be present at the interview herself so that she could add something to it and confirm her support.

I was relieved that they didn't decide on a press conference. The idea of sitting in front of a hundred journalists and cameras and speaking into a microphone was horrifying. Every time I undertook a conference with other cast members of the movies I starred in, I hated it and felt like a bug under a microscope. When Leah called Cynthia Watkins at the Globe, I was almost relieved. She was their senior journalist, the one who had interviewed me after I punched Leah's brother. She had printed exactly what I said without embroidering the truth and I imagined she would do the same thing again. It could have been worse. This time there would be no photographs, only the interview and that gave me further relief. I wasn't vain, but I knew I still looked somewhat sick and I didn't want the world to see me that way.

It was decided that Jacob shouldn't leave the hotel for anything until after my interview had been printed and then he could simply confirm what I'd said when the press inevitably accosted him. This caused a problem for him, since he had no clean clothes and had intended to go out that day to buy some, but a solution presented itself part way through my interview in the form of Paul arriving at the door. Jacob went to deal with the visitor and stepped outside the room to speak to him while I carried on talking.

So far I had responded to the previous article about my collapse on set, explaining that it was a combination of stress and me being physically run down. Both of these things had now been addressed and I would be better and back on set within days. Cynthia's next question was about the arrival of Jacob, asking me to comment on the nature of my relationship with him.

Just as Leah and Rosalie had discussed with me, I initially side-stepped the question talked about the movie instead, explaining that the reason I decided on 'Chains' was that it so closely mirrored my own life - a broken down relationship with my girlfriend, a career whereby I had followed in the footsteps of my parents and which I now intended to end. Rather than disappoint my fans by saying it had made me miserable, I stated that I had been grateful for the twenty years I'd had and that it had been very enjoyable, but it was now time for me to move on and take a different direction, which I hadn't yet decided upon. I then added that I had made the decision to leave in order to be with Jacob, who like the character of Steven in the movie, had shown me the person I wanted to be and that didn't include being in the public eye any more.

Cynthia asked about my trip to Barbados before the tour for my last movie and I answered that at that stage, Jacob had been my friend, supporting me when I was struggling, but that deep down we had cared for each other and only voiced this at the end of my vacation. I explained that I had been concerned what the public would think of me for falling in love with a man, but reasoned that I had to be honest with myself and everybody else in order to be happy.

I finished with a few more comments on the movie, saying that as well as the storyline being close to my life, I had particularly wanted to work with a director who hadn't already carved a path for themselves and whose writing I admired. Cynthia then asked Rosalie for her comments and she stated that she was honoured a star like me wanted to work with her, especially on my very last movie, and that she hoped together we would make it a success.

It was all over in about ninety minutes. Cynthia had placed a dictaphone on the table between us while we talked so that she could later use exactly what I said in her article. She left quickly, eager to prepare the exclusive for the next morning's copy, knowing that the Globe's sales was going to far outstrip any of the other papers' the next day. Rosalie followed her a few minutes later, needing to go to set to start work and then Paul arrived again. This time Jacob let him in and I glanced at the two large bags he brought with him in surprise.

"What are those?"

"Clothes...and stuff."

"I can't go out until tomorrow and I brought nothing with me," Jacob reminded me. "Paul offered to get me some things and we're the same size, so...what do I owe you?"

"Four-fifty. There's a couple extra things in there you might need." He grinned and winked as he shoved the cash Jacob gave him into his pocket. "How did the interview go?"

"We'll see in the morning," I said. "I more or less did the same thing Jacob did a few years ago - quit acting and came out all at once."

"Trust me, people will be more concerned about you disappearing than suddenly deciding you like dick," Paul blurted. "Sorry," he added as I groaned in embarrassment and Leah snorted quietly.

"I'll be going now." She got to her feet. "If you get any fallout from this tomorrow, Edward, call me, ok?"

"Yeah, I will," I nodded.

Paul left with her and I sighed with relief. It was done; now I just had to wait for the outcome and hope for the best; hope that Paul was right and that my fans and critics would be more concerned about me walking away from acting than falling for Jacob.

Jacob unpacked the bags Paul had brought him, finding an assortment of socks, underwear, shirts, two pairs of jeans - one blue and one black - jog pants, a pair of sneakers and a lightweight jacket. Both men wore similar types of clothes and Paul's choices were exactly what Jacob would have picked for himself. He laughed suddenly as he came to the last item in one of the bags and to my surprise his face coloured a touch as he withdrew a smaller bag with a pharmacy logo on the outside.

"What's that?"

"You might not want to know."

He scratched his head and handed me the bag. Inside was a pack of a dozen condoms and a bottle of lube.

"Oh, God," I groaned, my face burning.

Jacob took the bag back and went to put it in the bedroom.

"It's ok, we don't have to make use of that," he said when he returned.

"No, it's not that...I mean, I want to, but...the thought of _Paul_ buying them for us..." Cringing I dragged my hands through my hair.

"Well, I didn't ask him to," Jacob said sheepishly. "I was wondering how I was going to get hold of some though, without it ending up in the papers." He sat down beside me again and slid an arm around me. "We can still take our time."

"Maybe I don't want to," I whispered.

Again I imagined us together the way I had pictured it earlier, Jacob's body above mine, thrusting himself into me. Would he do it like that, I wondered, or would he take me from behind? I shivered and felt my cock twitch in my pants again. Then his lips touched mine and I stopped thinking about what we might do later or tomorrow and enjoyed the moment - his hot mouth tasting me, his tongue meeting mine, arms holding me tight against him. I could hear quiet whimpers coming from me as we kissed urgently, a deeper groan rumbling up from Jacob's throat as he pushed me back against the sofa cushions, one hand sliding down my body to my thigh and stroking firmly. I could dimly hear my phone ringing and I ignored it as I breathed rapidly through my nose, my heart racing and my erection pushing impatiently against the restraining layers of my clothing. The ringing went on and on and Jacob broke the kiss. He was panting, lips swollen and eyes dark, filled with his desire for me.

"You better get that."

"The hell with it," I gasped.

The phone rang on persistently and I sat up, grabbing it in annoyance.

_'Bella Calling'._

I may as well have stepped into a cold shower and suddenly the thought of Jacob's hands on me was the last thing on my mind.

"I'm sorry," I groaned.

"Don't worry about it." Jacob drew away from me. "You gonna see what she wants?"

"I suppose. She'll only keep on calling." I punched the 'answer' button and held the phone to my ear.

"Yes, Bella."

"I just saw the papers," she began.

"You're not going to say 'hello' or anything?"

"Hello, Edward." Her tone was sarcastic. "Why is Jacob Black at your hotel? Don't you know what the press is saying about you?"

"Yes, I know what they're saying. It's not really anything to do with you any more, though, is it?"

Jacob grinned at my words and reached out to take my free hand, lacing our fingers together.

"Believe it or not, I still care, Edward. They're hinting that because of your trip to Barbados and him being here now, you might be..._gay."_

"They'll do more than hint about it tomorrow, Bella, I just talked to the Globe and announced it," I said a touch smugly.

"It's _true?"_

"Yes, it's true."

_"Since when?"_

Her shriek hurt my ear and I held the phone a few inches away from my head.

"I've been in love with Jacob for seven years," I said smoothly and noticed his mouth twitch up at the corners.

"Seven...? What? But...what about us? What are you saying? I thought you loved me! How can you say you loved a _man_ all this time? Have there been others? Were you with him before me?"

"Are you going to actually let me answer any of that?" I cleared my throat. "Look...I don't owe you anything, but I can tell you that when I met you, I stopped thinking about him most of the time. Nothing happened when I was younger; I didn't think he wanted me. I realised recently I was wrong about that. Tomorrow the Globe is going to announce that I'm leaving acting and that I intend to pursue a relationship with Jacob from now on."

For a long moment there was complete silence and I squeezed Jacob's hand firmly and grinned.

"Well, I...I'm...I hardly know what to say," Bella said eventually. "I thought this...you refusing to forgive me...was all about Sam. I never imagined it could be something else; that you're a...a..."

"Fag?" I put in.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"But you're probably thinking it. For the record, it was nothing to do with it. You were unfaithful, you hurt me and you made a fool of me; not only that, but you lied about it. Which reminds me, I want to ask you something. A friend told me that it's possible to get a non-invasive DNA test done..."

"So you want me to do that? Alright," she agreed at once, surprisingly meekly. "I'll find out about it." She sighed heavily. "Despite everything, I still hope it's yours, Edward."

"Well, we'll see, won't we? If it is, like I said, I will support you, but that's all."

"Edward..." She paused again. "Are you ok? I mean...after you collapsed."

"I'm fine. Not enough food and sleep and too much stress."

"I'm sorry, if I contributed to that," she said. "I'm guessing I did. I won't bother you any more, except to let you know the outcome of the test."

"There's something else I need to do," I said to Jacob when I ended the call. "I should tell Sam Uley what's happening. Somehow I doubt Bella will do it."

"You don't owe him anything," Jacob said.

"I know, but it's only fair. He's actually a decent guy - she lied to him too."

I called Leah, catching her in her car and asked her to get me Sam's number so that I could tell him about the test. She actually had the number already and sent me it in a text a few minutes later. Sam was pretty surprised to hear from me, but grateful when I told him why. He agreed with me when I said I didn't think it likely that Bella would tell him and he said he planned to do the same thing as me - if it turned out to be his baby, he would support her and ensure that he was a part of the kid's life, but that would be all. He wanted nothing more to do with Bella.

When I ended the call I turned my phone off. I still needed to talk to my father, but Mom had told me he was working on his own movie and wouldn't be home until late, so I had done as much as I could do for that day. I wanted to put it aside and spend some time with Jacob, although we had to remain in the hotel.

The moment between us had been spoiled by Bella's call and we decided to make use of the hotel pool for a while. It was completely deserted and although Jacob didn't have swimming shorts, he wore a black pair of the jersey boxers Paul had bought for him, which clung to him obscenely whenever he left the water. We kept our distance from each other reluctantly, aware that someone could appear at any moment, as well as the fact that there were probably security cameras in the pool area although they weren't visible.

We swam and splashed around for an hour and then used the pool showers and returned to the room to order lunch. Room service brought up sandwiches, salad and cake and afterwards Jacob helped me learn the next few scenes I would be required to shoot once I got back on set.

It wasn't until the evening after we had summoned room service yet again to bring us dinner, that things grew heated between us once more. We were lying on the sofa watching a movie, Jacob behind me with an arm around my waist, his fingers idly stroking my stomach beneath my shirt, making my heart race and my blood rush to my groin. I shifted slightly, pressing myself back against him and feeling his growing arousal nudging my hip. His lips touched my neck, teeth nibbling gently and I hummed in appreciation, tilting my head to give him better access. He sucked gently on my skin, working his way up to my ear and breathing into it, making me shiver.

I pulled free of his arm and turned over quickly to face him, touching his cheek, freshly shaved that morning, and bringing my lips to his. He pulled me tighter against him, molding my body to his as his tongue plunged into my mouth and I hooked my leg over him, straining to get even closer, to feel as much of him as I could. His hand caressed my butt and I squirmed under his touch, rubbing myself against his thigh and realising with a little embarrassment that I could probably come in minutes, just by doing that. I backed away reluctantly, wanting to give Jacob something first.

"Hey, where are you going?" he protested as I slid off the sofa and kneeled beside it.

"I wanted to try something."

"Ok."

He didn't even question me, but just lay there with his eyes half closed, waiting. I wanted to do what he had done last night - touch and taste him, make him feel as amazing as he had me, although I doubted I would be much good at it. He was wearing a short-sleeved buttoned shirt and I began to unfasten the buttons slowly, pulling the fronts of the garment aside to stroke my hands over his chest. He was wearing one of the new pairs of jeans, a fairly loose fit and I could see his erection twitching beneath the fabric. My own throbbed uncomfortably and I determinedly ignored it and fumbled the stiff new buttons on the black jeans undone. He groaned as my fingers brushed his shaft through the tight shorts he wore underneath and I heard his breathing quicken, the hand which lay beside his hip clenching into a fist. I grasped the top of the jeans and tugged at them and Jacob immediately lifted himself up so that I could pull them down, taking his underwear with them. His hard cock slapped against his belly and I stared unashamedly as I tossed his clothes onto the floor, leaving him with only the shirt which he quickly wriggled out of.

Naked, Jacob was stunning; fit and muscular with bulging shoulders, arms and pecs, eight perfect abs, well-shaped firm thighs and his face was beyond attractive with his large dark eyes, full lips and black hair, only one or two grey hairs beginning to show at his temples. His erection rose from his stomach, oozing pre-cum and he shivered and groaned.

"Jeez, Edward, are you trying to set fire to me with your eyes?"

"Sorry," I smirked. "You just look...so good."

I stopped gawking and began to touch, exploring his firm thighs with both hands, stroking upwards to within an inch of his balls before heading down again, making him sigh with disappointment. I did this several times, gradually working my way up over his hips and towards his shaft while it continued to twitch and quiver, enticing me to touch it.

"Please..." he breathed.

I grasped him firmly and leaned over him, brushing my lips against the head of his cock before I circled it with my tongue, tasting the salty sweet-sourness and finding I liked it. He groaned deeply and I looked up, noticing his eyes were closed, his teeth gnawing at his lower lip as I licked him again and tentatively drew the head into my mouth. I began to jerk him off slowly, sliding my hand up and down his length, squeezing at the base and continuing to suck on the head, gradually drawing a little more of him into my mouth and hoping I wouldn't gag.

Jacob was panting loudly, groaning and cursing under his breath every so often and I increased the pace of my hand, changing my position slightly so that I could use my free hand to cup and caress his balls, noting they were already tight against his body. He was close and so was I, I realised. My underwear was damp, my cock throbbing urgently and I rubbed myself against the edge of the sofa cushion as I leaned over it, knowing I was probably going to come in my pants. I breathed hard through my nose, moaning around the thick cock in my mouth while Jacob squirmed and trembled and seemed to be trying to stop himself thrusting upwards.

"God...Edward...fuck...so close..." he panted. "You better stop."

I didn't stop; I wanted to make him come hard, to make him feel good, to give him what he gave me and I flicked my tongue against his tip, stroking, squeezing, rubbing until he erupted suddenly, spurting into my mouth and throat and letting out a yell of pleasure as he emptied himself. I gulped and swallowed, whimpering and spluttering slightly as I shot my load into my shorts, a dribble of his fluid escaping the corner of my mouth. I pulled off of him quickly and wiped my lips, panting for breath.

"So good," he whispered, opening his eyes. "You didn't have to do that, though..."

"I wanted to." I grinned and knew I was blushing too. "I only choked because I came at the same time."

"Fuck." His eyes widened and he sat up, turning to drop his legs off the side of the sofa, one either side of me. His hands cupped my face and he brushed his lips lightly over mine. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I don't know about that."

"Trust me. That was...seriously good." Another brief kiss. "Better get you cleaned up, huh?"

I grimaced, reminded of my wet and sticky underwear, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to my cock. I backed away and headed for the bathroom, quickly stripped off my clothes and got in the shower. Jacob joined me, grabbing the shower gel from me and lathering me inch by inch, resulting in me again being just as aroused as when I started to touch him. He turned off the water and stepped out of the stall to grab some towels, his own erection bobbing in front of him. We dried off and then his arms were around me, holding me tight against him as his lips ghosted over mine in another teasing kiss.

"I want to make love to you," he murmured.

"I want that too," I said without hesitation.

"You're sure it's not too soon?"

I shook my head. My heart raced and my stomach fluttered with excitement and I gave him another small kiss.

"Come to bed with me, Edward." He stepped back, took my hand and led me slowly into the bedroom


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

**Jacob's POV**

Edward lay down on the bed in the dimly lit room and I opened the drawer in the bed table where I had put the bag containing Paul's extra purchase. He had done us a huge favour, as embarrassing as it had been at the time to discover them. I opened the box of condoms and removed the seal on the cap of the lube, not wanting to be faced with fumbling them open later when we were desperate for each other. I realised it was the only time I had felt nervous about having sex. My first time had been when I was twenty-one and the guy had guided me, having been several years older than me and most definitely well used to being fucked. Besides that, I had been too eager to worry and the other times since, my partners had all been with others before me. Edward was a virgin and I was concerned that I would hurt him and that he wouldn't like it. I would just have to take my time and hope for the best.

I lay down facing him and drew him into my arms, immediately feeling his heart racing in his chest, his erection nudging mine. I slid my hand down his body and tucked it behind his knee, pulling his leg up over my hip and he hummed in approval and ground himself against my thigh. I stroked my hand over his butt, caressing and squeezing the firm flesh while I teased his lips with gentle kisses, tugging his lower lip between my teeth, nibbling and sucking before I thrust my tongue into his mouth. His hands gripped my neck and he responded heatedly, little whimpers escaping him as his tongue fought with mine. I groaned into the kiss, my cock throbbing against him, aching for release even so soon after he had sucked me. I shuddered as I imagined what he would feel like; impossibly tight and hot, gripping my length, making me erupt.

I broke the kiss, gasping, studying his swollen lips and half-closed eyes, pupils widely dilated. How had I let him go five years ago? I must have been out of my mind.

"I love you, Edward," I breathed.

"I love you too, Jake."

He lowered his head, tucking his face into my neck, his lips teasing the sensitive skin between my ear and my collarbone, then my throat. I shifted my body slightly, creating a small gap between us, his leg still draped over me, and slid my hand between his legs, my fingertips nudging his balls from behind. My thumb stroked over his perineum, applying slight pressure, making him whimper and stop his caresses of my neck, breathing hard and shivering. I changed the position of my hand and circled his hole with one finger, feeling it twitch under my touch.

"Please," he whispered.

I took my hand off him again and reached out blindly for the lube, squeezing some onto my fingers before I returned my hand to him, stroking him, coating him in the slick substance, pressing gently against his entrance at each pass. When I paused and persistently pushed the digit against him, suddenly he opened up and almost sucked my finger into him to the second knuckle. He felt just as I imagined; tight, hot, silky and inviting, but surprisingly unconcerned by the invasion. He squirmed against me, moaning as I slightly twisted the finger, his body welcoming it in as far as I could reach.

"Fuck, Edward," I groaned.

He chuckled softly. "I wanted to know what it felt like; I've done that to myself a few times."

"I wish I'd seen that," I murmured, the thought of him fucking himself with his finger making my cock throb and leak.

I withdrew my finger almost to the tip and thrust it back in firmly, continuing for a minute or two before I added a second, watching his face as I stretched him. His nails dug into my shoulder and his breath hissed in through his teeth and I held still. Clearly he hadn't gone further than a single digit by himself.

"Relax, babe. Breathe out," I instructed softly.

"Mmm. Sorry."

His hand relaxed and at the same time so did the tight ring of muscle gripping my fingers, allowing me to push them deeper. I continued slowly and carefully until he grew used to me, gradually working deeper in search of his prostate. He was so tight. My cock wasn't small and I hated the thought that I was going to hurt him; already had in fact. My fingertips bumped the small gland within him and he writhed and yelped, throwing his head back, eyes wide.

_"Fuck!"_

I grinned and watched his face as I massaged the source of pleasure, his features going slack, eyes sliding shut again and mouth open. I slid my other arm out from under his neck and rested my hand between us, lightly teasing the head of his cock, rubbing my thumb over the slit and smearing pre-cum as I withdrew my fingers a little and scissored them, stretching him more. He squirmed and whimpered, his face betraying a mixture of pleasure and discomfort. I ignored my own arousal which was desperate for at least some stimulation, concentrating on him, withdrawing my fingers to add more lube, coating him and then carefully working in a third finger. He tensed again, moaning and unconsciously trying to push me out.

"If you want me to stop..." I began.

"Don't!" he exclaimed.

"I'm hurting you."

"I'm ok. I knew it would hurt a bit. I want you to..." he paused and drew in a breath. "I want your cock in me."

"Christ."

I continued, carefully preparing him, knowing that however much time I took, nothing was going to ready him for my length. Eventually I stopped touching him and reached for one of the condoms, ripping open the small packet and rolling the rubber quickly onto myself. Edward's eyes opened and he watched as I sat up and covered myself in more lube. He turned onto his back and his legs spread apart, knees raised and I lowered myself over him, resting my elbows either side of his head. I gave him a warm, gentle kiss, my sheathed cock bumping his impatiently. I took the weight of my lower body on my knees and reached down to guide myself, lining myself up with his entrance and watching his face as I pushed against him. I was desperate for him and I fought against the urge to simply drive myself into him and instead eased in only the head of my cock until it slipped past his tight ring, then held still.

"You ok?"

"Mmm."

Slowly I slid deeper, feeling his tight heat squeezing me, his breathing exaggeratedly steady as he struggled not to tense up. He held onto my waist, small beads of sweat breaking out over his face as I pushed forward another couple inches, drawing a groan from him and I pulled back again quickly, almost slipping out of him. His cock had softened, I noticed and his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth.

"Shall I stop?" I said again.

"No. Try again, please. Sorry."

I slid my hand between us again, caressing his balls and the base of his cock, teasing it back to life while I held still with only an inch of myself inside him, my thighs shaking with the effort of holding myself up and not giving in to the urge to bury myself within him. Continuing to stroke him, I pushed in slowly, this time able to sheath myself inside him fully, my balls coming to rest against his. I took my hand off of him and immediately felt his erection dig into my stomach.

"Edward...look at me."

He opened his eyes slowly and met mine.

"I wanted this for so long," he murmured. "I'm ok, I promise. Just...go slow."

I began to move slowly, an inch either way, gritting my teeth as my cock throbbed and ached, impatiently begging me for some friction. My balls were pulled up tight against my body, my orgasm coiled just out of reach, desperate for release and I continued to hold back, letting him get used to me until he began to move tentatively under me, shallow thrusts against me, his face relaxing and his hands unclenching on my back. I withdrew further and pushed in smoothly, knowing I struck his prostate when he groaned deeply and arched up from the mattress, fingers digging into my lower back.

"More...oh, God..."

Slowly I increased the speed and depth of my thrusts, my hips moving rhythmically, forcing myself to breathe steadily in an effort not to come.

"Touch yourself, Edward," I encouraged and he took one hand off me and slid it between us, grasping his cock without hesitation, the head bumping my belly repeatedly and smearing pre-cum onto my skin as he jerked himself off.

"That's it. Make yourself come. I'm so close," I panted.

His hand moved faster, his body continuing to move with mine, loud groans escaping him in between gasps for breath. I couldn't hold back any longer and my plunges into him became awkward and erratic as my orgasm crashed through me, cum exploding from me and filling the condom. I stayed within him as he finished himself off, a few more seconds of urgent stroking before his cum painted his chest and mine and I felt him tighten around me. He released himself and wiped his hand on the bedding, his chest rising and falling rapidly and I reached down to grip the condom and slid out of him, quickly removing the rubber and knotting it. There was a box of tissues on the bed table and I grabbed a handful to wipe my cock and my chest, then quickly cleaned Edward up before I lay down again and wrapped my arms around him.

"Are you ok?"

"More than ok. That was so good. Better than I ever imagined."

"It was for me too," I said.

"But you've been with other guys. Surely..."

"None that I was in love with," I interrupted. "I love you; more than you'll ever know. That makes it special."

"I love you," he whispered again.

His eyes were closed and I watched his face, stroking my fingers slowly through his crazy hair as his breathing slowed. He was almost falling asleep and I reluctantly got up for a moment, pulling the sheet out from beneath him so that I could cover us. By the time I lay down again and encircled him in my arms, he had drifted away and I lay there for a while holding him, wondering how I got to be so lucky. How did this beautiful boy, who I had wanted for so long, want me just as much?

**Edward's POV**

When I opened my eyes it was daylight and I could feel the heat of Jacob's body against my back, his erection nudging my butt as he slept, one heavy arm resting on my waist. I stayed still, not wanting to disturb him as I thought about our first time. I had tried not to let on how much it hurt and I could feel soreness inside me now, but hopefully that would quickly fade and next time it would be easier. He had been so patient with me, so gentle, even when I could see he was shaking with desperation to just give in and fuck me. I could scarcely believe how lucky I was.

Reluctantly I slid away from him to relieve my full bladder and took the opportunity to call room service for breakfast before I crawled back into the bed, carefully lifting Jacob's arm to slip under it. He was still sleeping, but now he grunted and stirred, his arm tightening around me.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Hey." I kissed his nose and he opened his eyes slowly and smiled.

"I could get used to this."

"Me too. I'm going to hate it when you go home," I sighed.

"Who said I was going home?"

"Well...I assumed...I mean, it's all going to blow up today after that interview and I'm going to have to get back on set and..."

Jacob's lips touched mine and shut me up.

"I'm staying, at least for the time being. You think I'd take off and leave you to deal with things alone? Look, Edward, I have nothing waiting for me back home, I can stay as long as I want...or as long as you want. Let's just take one day at a time, ok?"

"Ok."

I relaxed and gave him another kiss, then he rolled away from me and got up to go to the bathroom. By the time room service brought the food I ordered and a copy of the Globe, we were both showered and dressed and waiting for things to start happening.

My interview took up the entire front page. Cynthia had picked out a photograph of me taken on the red carpet at the LA premier of 'Defeated' and the headline spoke volumes.

_'Edward Cullen - Coming Out and Walking Out.'_

Jacob came to sit beside me and we read it together.

_'Cynthia Watkins was granted another exclusive interview with Edward Cullen today, in which he revealed plans for his future and a change of direction, almost identical to that of now retired actor, Jacob Black, a close friend, pictured below.'_

They had inserted a small picture of Jacob taken a few years before when he was still acting.

_'Edward, accompanied by director, Rosalie Hale and manager, Leah Clearwater, candidly revealed that 'The Chains That Bind Us' will be his last ever movie! Fans worldwide are going to be devastated to hear this news as their favourite star walks away from Hollywood in just a few months' time._

_'Edward stated that while he has enjoyed making movies with a variety of co-stars and directors, including parents Carlisle Cullen, now a top director, and Esme Cullen, he has fulfilled his ambitions to date and now looks forward to a more relaxed lifestyle out of the public eye.'_

The article noted a few of my previous movies and then briefly outlined what 'Chains' was about before bringing Jacob into it again.

_'Edward tells us that his choice of movie has great significance to him personally and that the presence of Jacob Black in his hotel is no coincidence. Edward's character, Martin Fuller, walks away from his family's business and falls in love with another man, played by Paul Lahote, and after months of torment and heartbreak caused by ex-girlfriend, Bella Swan, Edward does the same by turning to one-time hero and friend, Jacob for comfort and romance.'_

"Oh, hell," I groaned.

"It's alright; we knew they'd say something like this."

"Yeah, I know, it's just...right there in black and white. What if people hate me for it? I don't want to let Rosalie down."

"You won't. She was fine with it, wasn't she? It was the best time to do it - they're going to care more about not being able to see any more of your movies." He got up at the sound of a knock on the door and a moment later Paul and Jasper came in.

"Have you seen it?" I asked, indicating the paper and quickly scanning the rest of the column which was mainly my actual words and a few comments from Rosalie.

"Yeah." Paul grinned and sat down, helping himself to some of our coffee. "The quotes you put in it are pretty close to what Jake said in his press conference."

"I think they worded it like that on purpose," I said.

"You've got everyone's support on set," Jasper put in. "Charlie went over there early and called me. The crew are all talking about it. The general consensus is that Jacob's a hell of an improvement on Bella and that you're brave for just coming out and..." He stopped and laughed. "You know what I mean. Talking about it."

"Thanks. I hope the public feel the same."

"What about your folks?" asked Jasper.

"I talked to my Mom yesterday; she was furious, but I haven't spoken to my Dad. I'm sure it won't be long before I do."

Paul and Jasper stayed an hour and then left us alone. Leah called, telling me that she knew I would be worrying about the reaction to my interview and that there was no reason to. She said exactly the same thing that Jacob had said - that the public would be more upset about not being able to see me on the silver screen any more and the press...

"Fuck them," she finished predictably. "Any of the smaller rags that go against the Globe's support are just going to look stupid."

I wasn't convinced - I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all going to blow up in my face and cause a lot of trouble for both Rosalie and Jacob, but neither of them were anywhere near as concerned as I was. Rose called to ask how I was and said that she had received a call from another paper, asking for her comments on my revelations and she had told them she supported me completely as she had already said in the Globe. She had directed them to Leah when they asked for a few words from me.

It was early afternoon when there was another knock on the door and again Jacob went to answer it. I was talking to Leah on the phone, giving her a brief statement she could issue to any of the other press who approached her.

"...Carlisle," I heard Jacob say and my breath caught in my throat. I had known he would be in touch at some point today and I readied myself for a confrontation.

"Leah, I have to go, my father's here."

"You'll be fine," she said. "Call me later."

I hung up and got to my feet as my father walked in, dressed as usual in an expensive suit and tie, shoes as shiny as mirrors.

"Dad."

"Sit down, Edward."

I sat and Jacob joined me, a couple of feet away from me on the couch, but I immediately felt his support. Dad lowered himself into the chair the other side of the coffee table and folded his hands together.

"I'm sure you've read the paper," I said. "I'm sorry about the way I did it and I'm sure Mom's upset, but I..."

"Wait a minute," Carlisle interrupted. His brows drew together in a frown and he raised one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, then lowered it quickly. "I have to say I'm not really surprised - certainly about one aspect of this. Two or three times recently you've told us this life doesn't make you happy and although you didn't say exactly that you planned to walk away from it, I began to realise you probably would before too much longer."

"And?" I prompted.

"It's your decision, Edward, you're not a child. Your mother and I always thought we were doing what was best for you; giving you everything that most people long for. The times you did complain about it over the years, I guess we chose to overlook it. It wasn't really until recently that I realised how much you disliked it all. Of course I was angry then, but I've had time to think. You have to live your own life, not ours. We haven't really been fair to you."

"What does Mom think about this?" I asked in surprise.

"You know your mother. She'll be hurt and lay the guilt on thickly..." He smiled slightly. "She'll get used to the idea. Your parents aren't going to dictate which direction you take, Edward."

"Does that include Jacob?"

He glanced from me to Jacob and back again.

"I have to admit that was a shock." He scratched his face uncomfortably and looked past me instead of at me.

"Mom was furious that he's here," I put in.

"Your mother's opinion isn't the same as mine, on a number of things. I can't pretend I'm delighted, especially considering you've just announced it to the world when only a few months ago you were happy with Bella, thinking of marrying her...that's not easy to understand. I imagined you with a wife and children eventually and I can't help wondering if this isn't just a reaction to everything that's happened. It seems like a huge change in a very short space of time. I just wish you wouldn't rush things...be sure you're not making a mistake."

"I'm not rushing anything," I said. I was actually amazed by the way Dad was talking to me. It was the first time he had really listened to me in a long time, if ever, and although his jaw was twitching as if he were grinding his teeth and he wasn't meeting my eyes too much, he wasn't ranting and laying down the law either.

"I always had feelings for Jacob," I said. "Mom separating us when I was eighteen didn't change how I felt; it just took a long time to realise it was mutual. Back then, you seemed of the same opinion as her."

Dad sighed and nodded. "I thought you were too young to know what you wanted and I didn't want you to destroy your career by letting yourself be led astray." He held his hands up at this, as if to ward off a verbal attack. "It was a long time ago; there's no point in us arguing about that now. I highly doubt this will do much to affect your popularity..."

"I don't care about my popularity. I'm leaving, remember?" I said. "I want to know what you think. I'm sure you'll support me in public because it wouldn't do for you to condemn your son for being gay, would it? But what do you really think?"

"Well...like I said, it's a shock...it'll take me a while to get used to the idea, but I want to see you happy, Edward. You're entitled to make your own choices."

"What about Mom?"

"Leave her to me." He smiled wrily.

"I have to admit, I'm pretty surprised by what you said," I admitted. "I thought you'd hate what I've done."

"It's not the way I would have done things, but we're not talking about me, are we? I'm sure Leah had a hand in the way you did that interview. I never really liked your choice of manager, but the woman's looked after you like a Rottweiler." Another small smile. "I'm disappointed you've chosen not to follow in my footsteps, but like I said, it's your decision - you have to do what's right for you."

"Thanks, Dad. I thought...I guess I assumed you'd probably react like Mom."

"Sometimes image can become too important. I'm afraid I'm guilty of that. I have paid attention to things you've said recently; the way you looked on that tour; your collapse. My son is more important to me than what anybody else might say." He stopped and cleared his throat suddenly as if he'd said more than he intended. "Well...I'll leave you to it. I'll give you a call in a day or two, see how things are going."

"Ok." I got up to see him out and Jacob rose too.

"If there's ever anything you need, Edward, give me a call," Dad said when he reached the door. "I don't suppose we'll see much of each other while you're working on this last movie."

"I will; thanks."

"Will Jacob be staying with you?"

"For the moment," Jacob answered.

Carlisle nodded and I was further surprised when the man gave me a brief but firm hug and then after a moment's hesitation, as if trying to talk himself into it, he shook Jacob's hand. When the door closed behind him I just stood staring at it.

"Well, that was unexpected," Jacob commented. His arm slid around me and pulled me close to his side.

"No kidding. I thought he'd go crazy; more about me coming out than quitting."

"Maybe it was more your Mom that thought I was such a terrible influence." Jacob grinned and kissed my cheek.

"Well, I hope he makes her see things the same way."

I relaxed and leaned against him. Now we just had to see what the reaction of the public was going to be to the interview and I could only hope it was as Jacob, Leah and the others seemed to think.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Thank you to everyone is reading; glad that you're enjoying this one :o)**

**Guest - I am always happy to answer questions, but it's not possible for me to do so if you're not signed in. Feel free to PM me if you have anything to ask and would rather not post it as a signed review. **

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

**Edward's POV**

Neither of us left the hotel that day again. We could see crowds of reporters and fans outside the building and although I knew I was going to have to face them at some point, I didn't want to do that quite yet. I was still somewhat bowled over by what Dad had said to me and I asked myself whether he could have just been saying what he thought I wanted to hear, but he had never been one to do that. He said what he meant, except maybe with my mother although I had to wonder how he would deal with her on this occasion. His support for me, although tentative, at least in regard to Jacob, seemed genuine and I knew he would confirm his approval publicly.

The reaction to my interview was almost immediate. Jacob sat at the table flicking from one site to another on my laptop, reporting what the social networking sites were saying about me and on the whole, it was positive. Many comments praised me for having the courage to just come out and say what was in my heart, while the minority called me a fag and said I was quitting at the right time because my popularity was sure to plummet. There were a few questions about Jacob, asking whether somehow he had quietly been on the scene since I worked with him on 'The Last Train', and if that were true, I really had no business calling Bella a cheat when I'd been doing it myself. I groaned as I read these comments, wondering if I would have done better to keep Jacob out of it.

"It wouldn't matter if you had, babe, they know I'm here," he said. "They'd have put two and two together soon enough. People saying things like that seem to be few and far between though."

"Yeah, I suppose. I knew I wouldn't get complete support." I sat down at the table next to him. "Is there anything else?"

"One or two things about me."

I looked at the screen, scanning down the long list of posts on a news forum Jacob was reading. Although there weren't any particularly unpleasant comments about me, there were several indicating that people saw Jacob as some kind of vulture, preying on me when I was vulnerable and turning me into something I wasn't. I cursed under my breath and scrolled down further.

"I'm sorry," I groaned.

"Don't worry about it. There's nothing they can say that would surprise me. Just ignore it; I'm going to." He shut the site down and closed the laptop.

"Do you plan to talk about it? I mean if anyone approaches you?"

"You mean like the press? I'm sure they're going to pounce the minute I set foot out of here and I'll just confirm what you already said. They can print what they like about me, Edward, I'm not going anywhere."

It didn't surprise either of us when several other papers published online articles about me later that day. The story was too new to have made it into the current paper edition, but they were quick to post various distorted versions of what I had said to the Globe, some of which were pretty nasty in the way they portrayed me. After so many years of being the darling of press and public alike, it hurt to read cruel comments about me, but I told myself it was only to be expected and that it didn't mean anything. I was leaving all of this behind in just a few months and then someone else would be the world's source of entertainment.

That evening, unable to resist I switched on the television to watch the news and predictably the main story relating to Hollywood was my announcement that I planned to leave it all behind after having fallen into the arms of a man, just like my character in 'Chains'. A reporter stood in front of my hotel, explaining that I was cloistered inside with Jacob and so far hadn't been available for comment. The camera then swung around to capture the huge crowd of people there and two were asked for their opinion.

"I feel sorry for him," the first one said. "It must be pretty hard to be yourself with the world watching every move you make. I'm glad for him. I'll miss his movies, but I guess he's doing what's going to make him happy."

The other person interviewed wasn't quite so magnanimous, but at least said that they realised I had to live my own life and not the life everybody else expected of me. The reporter then signed out and another scene opened up, showing a different journalist outside the Ocean Clinic, approaching Bella who was on her way in.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Ms Swan, a quick word, please?"

Bella halted and turned towards the camera. She looked pale and wore no makeup, her outfit a mismatched hoodie and jog pants.

"What do you want?"

"I'd like to ask for your thoughts on Edward's interview with the Globe; have you seen it?"

"I didn't need to see it, I knew what he was going to say," Bella said.

"Oh! Would you like to comment on his change of direction? Aren't you concerned that this new development with Jacob Black might have begun while the two of you were together?"

"No, I'm not," Bella said firmly. "Jacob was a good friend to Edward before I knew him, that's all. They hadn't seen each other for years. Edward's entitled to be with who he wants, it's not my business."

"But you must have some opinion on him suddenly batting for the other team," the reporter pressed.

"If Jacob makes him happy, then good for him. It's not for me to judge; I messed everything up."

"And what of Edward's decision to leave acting? Do you think he would have done that if you were still together?"

"Possibly. Twenty years is a long time; I know he'd considered doing something different. I hope whatever he chooses, it works out for him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment."

She spun around and strode into the clinic, leaving the reporter to end the segment with some curiosity over Bella's support of me. I wasn't really surprised by her comments. Whatever she thought of me, she wouldn't say anything bad about me to the press, especially with the way things were for her right now. Anything she said that didn't sound supportive would only go against her, when she was already out of favour.

Leah called that evening to talk about the reaction so far and advised me that she had given my statement to four other papers. They had been demanding exclusives like the one I had given to the Globe, but she refused them all, saying that I was too busy to take any more time out of my schedule and they would have to wait until the filming of the movie was over for interviews.

Jacob and I ordered room service for dinner once again and this time left the television off, cutting off the outside world again so that we could forget about it temporarily and enjoy each other's company. We showered together afterwards and got into bed, cuddling and caressing, using hands and mouths to pleasure each other. Jacob didn't attempt to make love to me and as much as I wanted it, I knew it would have been too uncomfortable to enjoy and I guessed that was the reason he held back. Again I slept in his arms and when I woke, physically I felt pretty good.

"I'm going back to the studio," I said as we ate breakfast.

"You sure you're ready for that?"

"Yeah, I know Rose gave me a week, but I'm fine; I just want to get on with it and finish it," I said firmly, picking up my phone.

I called Rosalie and she suggested I head for the studio in the afternoon so that they could shoot some of my scenes. The teenage actor playing my character's younger self was working mornings and having to study for school later in the day, meaning that the crew had been filling in the time with the smaller scenes including Paul, Jasper, Alice and Charlie's characters. I had Marcus drive me over after lunch, collecting me from the service entrance of the hotel, and I was welcomed delightedly by the rest of the cast and the crew.

"You look good," Paul said. "Jake helping, is he?" He waggled his eyebrows and I felt my face heat up. knowing he was referring to the things he had bought for us.

"I should say thanks, but really, I just want to say shut the fuck up," I grimaced.

Paul snorted quietly and punched me in the shoulder. "I can't imagine you heading out to buy them with the world press on your heels."

"Sshh!" I hissed. "What's our first scene?"

"Way to change the subject." Paul coughed and flicked over a few pages of his now rather tatty script. "You have to do the confrontation with Charlie after he finds out about us. My next scene is me getting the third degree from Jasper. They're planning to shoot both scenes together since one's in my apartment and the other in Charlie's house."

I nodded and headed for wardrobe and makeup, reading my lines over a few times while my hair and face was attended to. For the first time in a long time I actually felt good about what I was doing and everyone else apparently noticed the change in me. I nailed the scene with Charlie in one take and we only had to repeat the last few seconds when Charlie stumbled over his final few words to me before he stormed out of the room.

The rest of the day flew by and the day after that followed in much the same way - my morning spent with Jacob in the hotel and the afternoon on set. I realised the next few months were going to be a lot easier than I expected, at least with regard to the filming and despite the constant stories and comments in the papers and on the net, I was more relaxed than I had been in years. I stopped trying to avoid the press and fans outside the hotel and let myself be photographed, answering a few questions on my way in and out each day. In the absence of proper interviews, they seemed satisfied to get at least a few words out of me and proceeded to print positive things afterwards.

Jacob had gone out a couple of times into the city too and told me that on the first occasion, it had taken him an hour to escape from the press, all of them clamouring to ask him questions and photograph him, resulting in a lengthy article about him the next morning, his quotes almost identical to the things I had said, adding that he had come to LA to support me and hadn't planned how long he would stay, only that he had nothing to rush home for. He admitted that he cared deeply for me, but that things were 'very new' and we were taking it a step at a time. My fans responded to his comments with mixed reactions, some appearing to think that he was perfect for me, not to mention stunning looking and that if I was going to choose a man, I couldn't have found a better one; others added to what had been said previously, trying to make out that he was taking advantage of my situation in an effort to worm his way back into the limelight. I tried not to let it upset me, but I hated reading bad things about him, even though he appeared not to care.

I didn't hear from my parents again in those few days, although there were comments in the news made by my father through his manager, stating that he supported my decision to leave acting, caring only about my happiness and that applied to my personal life as well. He didn't directly mention Jacob, but his meaning was clear and the news was of course full of his words, some stories exaggerating them to the extent where Carlisle was glad I had taken up with his old friend, while others stated that he was only supporting me for the sake of his own image, when in reality he was shocked that I had 'turned gay' and fallen into the arms of someone he and my mother had shunned long ago because of his 'activities'.

Friday night Bella called me and I immediately knew the reason before I even answered my phone. Her recent visit to the clinic had to have been about the DNA test and I held the phone to my ear anxiously, my heart beginning to pound. I didn't know how I felt about possibly becoming a father in a few months and I sounded breathless as I said a brief hello to her.

"Hey, Edward, how are you?"

"Good, thanks. You?"

"I'm ok." She sighed heavily. "I had the test done. That's what I was doing when they interviewed me outside the clinic."

"I thought that might have been it. Thanks for what you said, by the way," I added.

"It's the least I could do. So...um...the test..."

"Don't they need me to give a sample or something?" I asked.

"No, I was hoping to rule Sam out first so he was tested the same day as me, but I heard this morning that it was a positive match."

"Oh!" I paused for a moment. "I still think I should be tested too; just to be sure, you know?"

"Ok, I understand, but it'll confirm what I just said. Does that disappoint you, or are you relieved?"

I'm not sure; relieved I guess," I said slowly. "Given the way things are with us, if it was mine, it wouldn't have the benefit of a proper father on the scene all the time and I wouldn't really want that for my kid."

"Well, it's still not going to have a father on the scene, but that's not your concern any more," Bella sighed. "I just...wanted you to know as soon as possible. I'm sorry, Edward; for everything. I did mean what I said the other day, to the press; I hope Jacob makes you happy, and whatever you decide to do with your life."

"Thanks. I hope things work out for you too."

"Well, I'm not very popular right now, but that's my own fault. I won't bother you again, Edward. Take care." She hung up before I could answer and I put the phone down.

"It's not yours, then," Jacob said at once.

"No, I don't think so. She said it's confirmed that it's Sam's, but I'll get the clinic to test me to make sure so I can forget about it."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, like I said to her, it's a relief. What kind of father could I be to it, when I won't be around?"

"Isn't there a part of you that's disappointed you won't have a child?" he asked.

"No," I said honestly. "When I was with Bella, she and my parents were keen for us to marry and have a family, but I kept avoiding the issue. It was too much, too soon. I didn't want the pressure and I didn't really see myself as a family man."

"That might change in the future."

"I doubt it. I just want you."

Jacob grinned. "You got me."

"What about you?" I asked then.

"You mean, kids? Nah, not for me. I like my peace and quiet and being able to do what I want. If I get to share that with you, that's enough."

Again, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. Being the father of Bella's baby would have made me feel constantly guilty about being absent and as hard as I tried to take responsibility, I knew it would only have led to problems on all sides and now I was free of her and able to look forward to my future; my future with Jacob.

I went to him where he sat on the couch, elbows resting on his knees, and stood in front of him, my pulse quickening as he looked up at me. He straightened and put his hands on my hips, pulling me forward between his legs, then pushed my shirt up with one hand and brushed his lips over my stomach just above my belt. I shivered and gripped his shoulders, groaning as his teeth nipped gently at my skin and his tongue dipped into my navel. My heart raced, pumping my blood towards my groin and I quickly hardened, rubbing myself against Jacob's hand as he cupped me through my pants. I began to unfasten my shirt and shrugged it off, already panting for breath as he palmed me firmly and continued nibbling at my belly and the lower part of my chest with lips, tongue and teeth, causing goosebumps to break out over my skin.

"Please," I groaned.

"Tell me what you want." He took his hand off of me and slid both arms around me instead, tipping his head back to meet my eyes.

"Take me to bed."

He pushed me away from him a few inches to give him room to stand up, bringing our bodies against each other and I immediately felt his hardness nudge mine through our clothes. Another groan escaped me and I gyrated my hips wantonly, my cock straining against the damp fabric of my shorts and the restrictive pants I was wearing. Jacob smothered my moan with a kiss, his mouth covering mine and his tongue thrusting urgently between my lips, toying with mine while his hands ran up and down my back, eventually settling on my butt and pulling me in tighter against him. I broke the kiss after a moment, gasping for breath and Jacob released me and quickly removed his t-shirt, tossing it onto the couch before grabbing my hand and leading me into the bedroom.

We shed the rest of our clothes quickly, eyeing each other as more flesh was uncovered, pants falling to the floor, shorts following, Jacob's cock slapping against his belly as he freed it, the purple head glistening with pre-cum, his balls pulled up tight beneath. He sat on the bed with his back against the wall, idly stroking himself as he waited for me to join him. I shed the last item of clothing and sat on the bed, my heart racing, unable to keep my eyes off Jacob as he pumped himself slowly.

"Come here," he said huskily, patting his firm thighs with his free hand.

I scooted closer and slid one leg over him, kneeling astride him with my butt resting on his legs, my hands lying on my own thighs until he encouraged me to touch myself.

"Let me watch; you're so hot when you do that," he murmured.

I felt my cheeks redden and I half closed my eyes as I obligingly stroked myself, gripping my shaft firmly and realising that I probably wasn't going to last very long. I just didn't seem to be able to control myself with Jacob, whether he was touching me himself or watching me do it. I eyed the swollen head of my own cock as it emerged from my fist, oozing pre-cum onto my fingers and then switched my gaze to Jacob again as he rubbed himself, his breathing becoming ragged, chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Damn...let's not get carried away," he grinned suddenly, stilling his hand and grabbing mine, stopping its eager movements. I groaned in frustration, squirming as he tugged me closer to him until our cocks touched.

"I don't want you coming until I'm in you."

I heard myself whimper and I raised my hands to his shoulders, holding onto him tightly as he reached for the lube and coated his fingers, parting his legs under me and in doing so, spreading me open. Then his hand was under me, his fingers cool and slick, stroking, teasing, searching for my hole and circling it. I lowered one hand between us and ran my thumb over the head of his cock, nudging myself against him and eventually grasping the two organs together and rubbing them lightly against each other.

"Mmm...fuck..." Jacob groaned.

I continued with my teasing while he slowly pushed one finger into me, the single digit easily breaching my ring and plunging deep into me. I breathed deep and forced myself to relax, expecting the second and third intrusions to hurt.

"Kiss me," murmured Jacob, tipping his head back to look up at me.

I lowered my mouth to his, giving his lips a brief caress with mine before I covered his mouth more firmly and plunged my tongue in, taking him by surprise. He moaned into the kiss and the second finger pushed into me gently alongside the first, stretching me, but not causing much discomfort. I breathed out through my nose and gyrated on his lap, continuing to stroke both of us together as his questing fingers reached deeper and nudged that crazy little gland inside me that made me tear my mouth away from his and throw my head back, my groan filling the room. Jacob chuckled softly and continued his internal massage until I had to stop touching us and clenched my fists around the head of the bed in an effort to stop myself erupting all over both of us.

"Please...God...stop!" I panted.

He withdrew his fingers fractionally and cupped my balls in his other hand, tugging firmly on them, making me grimace and shudder, but successfully driving my orgasm away at least temporarily. While I groaned and trembled, counting my breaths, he inserted a third finger and I felt the uncomfortable burn as he stretched and prepared me for his cock.

"You ok?"

"Unh..."

"Edward..."

"Umph..."

I couldn't seem to form a coherent word and I sucked in a breath and met his eyes again. "I'm ok."

"Want me to fuck you?"

"God...yes!"

Slowly his fingers left me and I shuffled backwards, giving him room to put on a condom and coat himself in lube, then I kneeled up over him and hovered there, gripping his shoulders as he guided himself to my entrance, his other hand on my hip moving me a little until suddenly his tip was pressing inside of me. He was so big, but I was better prepared this time and I felt discomfort rather than actual pain as I let myself sink onto him, his hands on my waist supporting my weight and preventing me from dropping too quickly and impaling myself. My thighs shook with the effort and I struggled not to tense every muscle in my body, but at last my butt rested on his thighs once more and he was buried deep within me, his full length filling and stretching me. I looked down at my own cock as it throbbed eagerly between us and Jacob moved one hand to capture it, beginning to pump it slowly as I moved carefully up and down, an inch at a time, gradually falling into a rhythm and rising higher, sinking faster until my butt was slapping on his thighs and his cock was plunging hard and deep, repeatedly striking my prostate. The dual stimulation from Jacob's cock inside me and his hand on mine were almost too much and my orgasm crashed through me without warning. I sank onto him one last time, shuddering and clutching his shoulders, unable to stop myself shouting out, a jumble of expletives as I painted his chest with my cum, my ass clenching tightly around him. A couple more seconds and I felt him fill the condom inside me and he was adding his groans and curses to mine, his legs shaking beneath me and his arms sliding around my waist, hugging me tight against him.

"Christ, Edward, that was fucking amazing!" he panted into my neck.

"Mmm...feels so good." I squeezed him gently and then relaxed and rose a few inches, letting him slip out of me. I wasn't in pain this time and all I could think about was that I wanted more; however many times we did this, it would never be enough.

We sat still, holding onto each other as our breathing slowed, recovering our strength until we were capable of getting off the bed to clean up. A quick shower and then we were lying in each other's arms again under the thin sheet, whispering to each other until eventually we drifted into sleep.

When I woke the next morning, Jacob was still dead to the world beside me, snoring softly, his face half buried in the pillow. I drew away quietly, not wanting to disturb him, and went to use the bathroom before using the room's coffee making facilities and switching on my laptop to read the news. I slid carefully back into the bed, placing the coffee mug on the bed table and the computer on my lap as I scrolled through the latest news articles. Most sites were showing the usual storylines - my plans to leave acting, my new relationship with Jacob, the question of who was the father of Bella's baby. There wasn't really anything that hadn't been said before, but then suddenly I did come to a new story and the main picture was of Jacob. I had missed the headline itself and I scrolled back up to see it before I read the story.

_'Kiss and Tell - Jacob Black's Boyfriend Opens Up.'_

"Jesus, what now?" Frowning, I scrolled back down past the picture to the article, which was accompanied by another smaller picture of a young Native guy, slim with shaggy black hair, perfect white teeth and melting chocolate eyes.

_'Collin Littlesea, Jacob's long-term boyfriend, speaks out after being cast aside when the retired actor left Barbados to be with recently outed star, Edward Cullen.'_

My heart began to pound and a shiver ran through me. He hadn't been with anyone when I went to Barbados; he had said he didn't really have relationships, that he had only been in love once, with me; I knew how much shit the press made up, but even so, I was hurt. Who was Collin Littlesea? A random casual romance or something more?


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

**Jacob's POV**

When I opened my eyes, I found Edward sitting beside me with his laptop resting on his thighs, intently studying something with a look on his face that told me it wasn't anything good. He was chewing his lip, brows drawn together and he tugged a hand through his hair nervously, making it stand on end as I watched.

"What do they say this morning?" I lifted my hand and rested it on his stomach, stroking my fingers lightly over his warm skin. He jumped and looked at me anxiously. "Are you ok?" I added.

"I...um...I'm sure it's just bullshit, l...who's Collin Littlesea?" he blurted.

I sat up quickly. "He's...uh...a guy I had a 'thing' with..."

"You're not...he's not still on the scene?" Edward seemed to visibly collect himself and determinedly pin a frown onto his face.

"Of course not, it was over a year ago. Let me see that." I took the laptop from him and began to read the article, my blood quickly starting to boil.

_'Collin Littlesea, Jacob's long-term boyfriend, speaks out after being cast aside when the retired actor left Barbados to be with recently outed star, Edward Cullen._

_'Twenty-six year old Collin met Jacob at his island home while vacationing there last year, spending most of his time with the retired actor. The pair quickly fell in love and proceeded to maintain a long distance romance when Collin returned home to Florida, with regular visits to Barbados continuing over past months. Collin was therefore stunned and hurt when Jacob cancelled their most recent plans to spend time together in favour of Edward Cullen...'_

I read on, grinding my teeth, as Collin described romantic outings on my boat, exotic restaurants and moonlit picnics, even going as far as to say that I was amazing in bed and that he was now heartbroken and confused as to why I would turn my back on him in favour of someone who wasn't even gay, or at least hadn't been up to this point. He believed that I'd held a candle for Edward when he was too young for me to do anything about it and had seen the fact that he clearly needed somebody as an opportunity for me to realise the fantasy I had about him so long ago.

Almost all of the article was completely fabricated. I had taken Collin out on the boat and fucked him on it and he'd spent maybe three or four nights with me at the villa, but everything else had been casual - hanging out in bars, swimming and surfing and so on.

"Edward, this is completely made up, I promise you," I said, pushing the laptop aside and sliding an arm around him.

"Why would he say all of that then?"

"You know how this works. It's probably about the money; he could have got a hundred grand for saying all this shit, but it's possible he's pissed at me."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you everything that happened," I said. "The first part is true - he was on vacation in Barbados around April or May last year. I met him in the market in Bridgetown and he recognised me. I liked the look of him and we had some drinks in a bar. I saw him a handful of times and he stayed at my house a few nights. As far as I was concerned it was a bit of fun while he was on vacation and then he'd go home and we'd forget about each other. He emailed me when he got home, said he had a great time, it'd be good if we could do it again one day. I didn't really think anything of it, but he sent another one a few weeks later, just casual, asking how I was doing, telling me what he was up to. We exchanged a couple messages and then that was it, for months. I got another email from him around the time the papers were running the Bella cheating story - he was thinking of taking another trip to Barbados and wanted us to see each other. I wrote back and said it wasn't going to happen. All I was thinking about then was you and then you were with me and that was it. He hasn't been in touch since.

"This story could be one of two things, like I said - either he's mad because I turned him down and I'm with you and he wants to get back at me, or he saw an opportunity to make a ton of money. I didn't think he was the materialistic type, but I can't say I knew him very well so I don't know." I sighed heavily and brushed my lips against Edward's cheek. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah; sorry." To my relief he turned to me and smiled. "I didn't doubt you, I just..."

"...wondered. It's alright."

"Are you going to speak to him?"

"I guess I'll have to, if he'll take my call. I think I still have his number." I grabbed my phone from the bed table, but before I could look for the number, it rang loudly in my hand and I groaned.

_'Leah Calling.'_

"She's read the article; she'll probably threaten to castrate me," I said wrily before I answered. "Hey, Leah."

"Don't 'hey Leah' me! What the fuck is this Collin Littlesea thing?" she growled.

"It's bullshit, Leah. I'm sitting here with Edward reading it. The guy was a holiday romance more than a year ago, that's all. Either it's jealousy or money, I'm not sure which."

"So you weren't in a relationship with him?"

"No! It was a few quick...um..." I glanced at Edward and bit back the word 'fucks'. "...a fling," I finished. "I didn't hear from him for months and then around the time I first talked to you about Edward, he emailed me and asked to hook up again. I said no."

"Ok. How's Edward?"

"He's ok."

"What do you want to do about this?" Leah asked.

"I don't want it blowing up into something it's not, but I guess that depends. I'm gonna call him, see what he has to say for himself. If it looks like it's going to be bad for Edward, then you decide what to do for the best and I'll go with it."

I spoke to Leah for a few more minutes and promised to let her know the outcome of my call to Collin. She confirmed she would be happy to interfere and help calm things down if necessary, but after three attempts to call Collin, I had nothing to report to her. He didn't answer my calls and there was no facility for me to leave a message. I sent him an email instead, asking him to call me to discuss things and that was all I could do for the moment.

Later Edward left with Jasper and Paul to go to the studio, both of them glowering at me from the doorway as they waited for him although later Edward sent me a text to let me know he had explained the situation to them and they were ready to kill Collin rather than me.

I didn't leave the hotel that day and repeatedly looked through the news sites and public forums, discovering that the reaction to Collin's interview was split more or less in half - some thought he was a liar just trying to spoil our new-found happiness and make money, and the others felt sorry for Edward, having gone from one cheating lover to another and they hoped he was going to send me packing. I didn't talk to anyone directly until the late afternoon when there was a knock on the door. There were few people that the hotel would allow to come up without announcing them and I gritted my teeth as I opened the door, expecting to find Carlisle on the other side of it.

"Esme!"

She was dressed in a dark blue suit, her hair pulled back severely from her face, a pair of large sunglasses hiding her eyes. Her enormous heels brought her up to almost my height and I stepped back quickly to let her enter the room, closing the door after her.

"Will you sit down?"

"I'd rather stand, thank you." She removed the dark glasses and tucked them into her purse.

"Fair enough. What can I do for you? I assume it's me you've come to see."

"Yes. Edward's at the studio?"

I nodded.

"I'm sure you know what I think of all of this." She grimaced slightly. "I can't pretend to imagine what you want with Edward after all this time, but I do know that your presence in his life isn't good for him. He's vulnerable at the moment and the last thing he needs is to be taken advantage of by a..."

"Esme, with all due respect, you don't know what you're talking about," I interrupted. "I walked away when Edward was eighteen, not because you asked me to, but because I loved him and I didn't want to be the cause of him falling out of favour with the public, or interfering with his career. He didn't need the added pressure of a relationship then, but he's not a child any more; he's quite capable of making his own choices and if one of those is me, then I can only be grateful for it."

"You're manipulating him!" she exclaimed. "He doesn't know what he wants!"

"He seems to know perfectly well what he wants," I said mildly. "I love him still, and until he tells me he doesn't want me, I'm going nowhere. I'm sorry you don't approve of me 'corrupting him' or whatever you think I'm doing, but it was never about that. I would do anything to make him happy and just so you know, there is very little truth in the story in the paper this morning. I haven't seen that man in more than a year and Edward knows that. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, so you don't have to worry about it."

"What I'm worried about, is you destroying his reputation; making him look a fool in front of the world. It's bad enough that he's decided to throw everything Carlisle and I gave him back into our faces, but announcing publicly that he's...taking up with a _man _is beyond the pale."

"I got the feeling it was more you than Carlisle," I mused. "This overbearing bigoted attitude. This is the Twenty-First Century, Esme. Very few people care whether Edward is straight or gay, so long as he's happy, and if you wanted him to be happy, you wouldn't still be trying to force him to be something he's not. Is image really so important to you that you'd rather have him live his life by your rules instead of going his own way and enjoying it? He's twenty-five years old! He's a man and if you can't support him, then perhaps you could at least consider keeping your opinions to yourself, because _you_ are the cause of some of his unhappiness right now."

Esme's eyes blazed and her small, delicate hands clenched into fists, before she uncurled one and thrust it into her purse.

"I see there's no reasoning with you, so perhaps this will make a difference. You dare to suggest that I don't care about my son? I'm trying to protect him!" She pulled her hand out of her purse again and to my utter disbelief, held it out towards me with a check gripped between finger and thumb. I couldn't see the amount on it, but I felt my mouth drop open and I looked back at her face.

"You think paying me off is protecting him?"

"Take it. I'm sure you could use it after several years of doing nothing."

I dropped my eyes to the check again and noticed the amount this time - half a million dollars.

"Is that what you think Edward's happiness is worth?" I asked bitterly. "Put it away, Esme. I don't want or need your money, I have plenty of my own and even if I was scratching a living in the dirt I wouldn't take that. I would suggest you leave now and destroy that before anyone else sees it. I won't tell Edward about it because believe me, that would hurt him more than anything else has so far. I _love_ him and nothing is going to make me walk away from him; certainly not a selfish, disillusioned woman who thinks she can pay me to break his heart."

"I can see I wasted my time." She sounded a little unsure now and took a step towards the door.

"No kidding. If you can't accept me being in Edward's life, at least try to pretend, for his sake, that you want him to be happy."

She didn't answer and I stood watching as she pulled out the dark glasses again, shoved them onto her face and stalked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. I sank onto the couch with a sigh, still unable to believe what had just happened. Esme's words to me after she caught me with Edward seven years ago had been biting, but I would still never have expected her to stoop so low as to actually offer me money to leave him when he had made it clear I was what he wanted.

When Edward returned, Paul and Jasper came back to the room with him. I wasn't in the mood for the extra company, but Edward was relaxed and laughing, inviting them to have dinner with us and I put my thoughts aside as they regaled me with amusing stories of the day's filming, with Jasper forgetting his lines and Paul making him laugh each time he started the scene again. The two guys hadn't been fond of each other just days ago, but both of them supporting Edward seemed to have brought them together and I was glad that he had friends other than me to have his back. There was little mention of Collin until after the two of them left and Edward asked if I had heard from him.

"No, not yet. I'll try calling him again tomorrow."

"Are you alright? You look tense. I'm sorry for bringing the guys back, I didn't think you'd mind."

"I didn't mind; I'm glad you have them." I decided to at least mention I'd seen Esme in case she did next time she spoke to Edward. "Your mother came to see me."

"Oh, no," he groaned at once, sinking onto the couch next to me. "I'm sure she had plenty to say about the news."

"Not much actually. She just wanted me to know she thinks I'm not good for you and that she'd rather I disappear. I told her I love you and I'm going nowhere. She was pretty pissed when she left."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be; I can handle Esme and anybody else who tries to come between us." I wrapped my arms around him.

"I can't wait for all this to be over. I'm actually enjoying working on the movie now, but I'm still going to have a hard time not jumping up and down when Rosalie says, 'It's a wrap.' There's still going to be the promos and tour afterwards, but at least the end will be in sight." He relaxed against me with a sigh. "Can I come back to Barbados with you?"

"Of course you can." My pulse quickened. "Do you mean...for a vacation, or permanently?"

"Uh...well...until you get fed up of me being there?"

"Jerk," I chuckled. "Having you there until I die of old age will be a dream come true. Are you sure it's what you want?"

"Now you're the jerk. I've been thinking about everything and as soon as I finish promoting the movie and dealing with interviews about retiring and whatever, I'll leave LA. I'm going to put the house up for sale as soon as I get around to speaking to an agent. I told Bella she could live in it for now, but she has no financial interest in it, so when it sells, she'll have to leave. She has plenty of money to get her own place anyway. I just want to get away from it all and be with you."

"I can't wait," I said. I was relieved that Collin's story hadn't caused a problem for us and I just hoped that whatever else happened wouldn't cause too much stress for Edward; he had been through enough already.

That evening Edward called the Ocean Clinic to ask about the DNA test and had it confirmed that Bella had given her permission for his DNA to be compared with the baby's. After a couple of calls, it turned out that Edward didn't even need to attend the clinic. The samples taken by the doctor who took care of him following his collapse on set were sufficient and the result of the test would be sent to him by letter care of the hotel.

No sooner had this been organised, than we had another visitor; Carlisle this time. He looked both uncomfortable and angry and I hoped for Edward's sake that he wasn't going to attack me for the situation with Collin, but his visit was for a different reason. He sat down and loosened his tie, accepting a drink from the bar that Edward offered him. He drained the double shot of whiskey in one large gulp and put the glass down.

"Jacob, it's you I wanted to speak to really," he said. "I didn't know Esme came over here until afterwards and if I'd had any idea of what she was planning...well, I wouldn't have let that happen. I never would have thought she'd resort to such a thing; I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I said quickly, glancing at Edward, whose face was surprised and curious.

"You know this is awkward for me, but I can promise you I didn't condone offering you money and although it'll take me a bit of getting used to..." He gestured towards Edward and then me. "...I would rather see Edward happy than..."

"What are you talking about?" Edward interrupted. "What money? Jacob?"

"God," I groaned.

"You didn't know? Hell," Carlisle muttered. "Edward, your mother offered Jacob money to go back to Barbados and leave you alone. I was horrified when I found out. I don't know what she was thinking..."

"Jake? Why didn't you tell me?" Edward demanded.

"I didn't want to hurt you, babe. I don't want to come between you and your Mom."

"You should have told me. Aren't there enough lies and secrets surrounding me already?"

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said.

"So what am I worth?"

"Edward..." Carlisle frowned.

"I want to know."

"Half a million," I sighed.

"Well, now I know where I stand, don't I?" He closed his eyes for a moment and dragged a hand through his hair until I caught it in mine, tugging it down to my lap and lacing our fingers together.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"You didn't do anything. Just don't keep things like that from me, please, I've had enough. Dad, thanks for coming over here. I hope you mean it when you say you want to see me happy, because when the movie and the promos are done, I'm leaving and I don't just mean acting. I'm going to Barbados to be with Jacob."

Carlisle nodded. "I assumed you probably would." He didn't look happy about it, but given Esme's actions that day, it was clear he had no intention of adding to it by complaining.

"You'll be welcome any time you want to visit. As for Mom, I don't even want to talk to her right now. What happens in the future is going to be up to her. If she wants to remain part of my life, she's going to have to accept me being with Jacob and be civil to him."

Carlisle sighed heavily. "I'm sorry things have come to this, Edward. I'm also sorry I didn't listen to you more over the years. Like your mother, I thought I knew what was best for you..."

"Well, at least you haven't gone to such extremes to try to enforce it." Edward picked up the drink he had poured for himself and drained it. "You didn't say anything about what was in the press today."

"I'm sure it's not what it seems; that's between the two of you anyway. I'll repeat what I said when I saw you last time, Edward. Feel free to call me any time you want and if I can help with anything..." He stopped and cleared his throat, then got to his feet. "I guess I better get home and sort your mother out."

"Good luck with that," Edward said under his breath.

Carlisle clearly didn't hear him and I got up to show him out of the room.

"Thanks," I said when he shook my hand.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I have to admit I'm glad he has you," he replied quietly.

I returned to Edward and flopped onto the couch beside him, relieved.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you," I repeated.

"It's ok, I know you were just trying to save my feelings. I never really thought my mother would do something so...trashy."

"Me neither. She obviously really hates the idea of you being with me."

"Well, one out of two's not bad," Edward said wrily. "I didn't think Dad would accept it either. He always had the same opinion on things as her, but I wonder if he wasn't just going along with some of it for an easy life. Who knows?"

He shrugged and shuffled closer to me, turning his face into my neck and teasing my earlobe with his lips. I was glad that he didn't seem to be dwelling on what had happened and we were quickly too engrossed in each other to think about Esme or Collin or what the world might be saying about us.

During the next few days the papers were full of questions about Collin and most people seemed to assume his story was wildly exaggerated, since Edward and I were clearly still together and both of his parents had been seen visiting the hotel. Carlisle had even said a few words to one journalist who had caught up with him, saying that his son's relationship with me was our own business and that a lot of the recent stories were complete garbage. Unless the words had come from me, Edward or Leah, they could assume it was mostly nonsense.

Edward received a letter from the Ocean Clinic with the results of the DNA test, stating categorically that his sample did not match the baby's and this was a huge relief to him. I knew he was wary of believing anything Bella said, but on this occasion she had been honest and in fact followed it up by telling Seth Clearwater that the baby was Sam's. The article in Stars Weekly added that she had hoped Edward would have been the father, but that she hadn't imagined it would lead to a reconciliation, much to her regret. She had been asked for her opinion on Collin too, but she said she had never heard of him before his story appeared in the paper and that it was Edward's and my business, not hers.

Finally a few loose ends had been tied up and the comments on forums were mainly in Edward's favour, everyone still excited about his new movie and curious about him being with me, but the question of Collin seemed to have been quickly forgotten. I had tried calling him on two more occasions, but had failed to reach him and he hadn't responded to my email either, so I was inclined to think that the point had been to make money out of the situation and nothing more.

The next day Edward had a full day of filming and left the hotel with Paul right after breakfast. I switched on his laptop as usual and spent a little time reading the latest news while I finished off the coffee in the large jug room service had provided and then decided I would go out for a while to catch up with one or two old acquaintances if I could get in touch with them. I was just getting ready to leave when the room's phone rang and I grabbed it quickly.

"Yes?"

"Mr Cullen?"

"No, it's Jacob Black."

"Of course, Sir. There's a young gentleman in reception asking to see you, Sir. A Mr Collin Littlesea."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N As always, thank you to everyone who is reading the story. I've now set up a Facebook page for my writing, which will include updates, photos to illustrate the stories and notes on future plans. Feel free to check it out and follow me:- facebook com / hankslady**

CHAPTER TWENTY

**Jacob's POV**

"Mr Black?" the hotel reception guy prompted me and I gulped in air before I spoke. What the hell was Collin doing here in the hotel?

"Uh...yeah...have him wait in the lounge until I'm ready," I instructed quickly and put the phone down.

Collin hadn't answered or returned any of my calls and my email hadn't received a reply either, but now he showed up in person? I would have been willing to bet he'd already been photographed on the way in too and his presence would only add to the wild stories in the press. If I invited him straight up to the room, he could say anything he wanted afterwards about what had happened. I picked up my cell and scrolled down to Edward's number, hoping that by some chance he wasn't on set and would answer, but I was out of luck. His phone went straight to the answer service and I cursed under my breath and looked for Paul's number instead.

"Jake!" he exclaimed a few seconds later. "Whaddya want? More condoms?"

"Jeez, Paul," I groaned and heard a dirty laugh at the other end of the phone.

"Edward's on set," he said then.

"I guessed as much; I tried calling him. How busy are they?"

"He's doing a scene with Jasper; it's pretty much finished though. What's going on?"

"Collin Littlesea's here."

"In the fucking hotel?"

"Yes."

"Who is that guy, anyway?" Paul asked suspiciously. "Edward said he was a fling or something, but..."

"That's really all it was and it was more than a year ago. I have no idea what he's doing here, but I'm gonna have to talk to him. Can you two take a break and get over here?"

"I can, they don't want me for a while. If Ed's not free I'll come by myself," Paul said at once.

"Thanks. Get Edward's room key off of him and come straight in."

"You're having this guy up to the room?"

"Well, I don't want a scene in the lobby. Who knows what he's going to do or say? You'll be, what, fifteen, twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, Marcus can drive me."

"Thanks, Paul," I repeated.

"I'm gonna start charging you," he teased and hung up.

I went to close the bedroom door, not wanting the room Edward and I slept in together on show; then I waited a few minutes before I called down to the lobby and asked them to send Collin up. This would give me enough time to talk to him privately, but at the same time I would have company pretty quickly. I paced the room while I waited for the knock on the door, wondering what the hell he could want.

Several minutes passed and then he knocked loudly, startling me even though I was expecting it. I pulled the door open and stared at him, frowning. He didn't look much different than he had a year ago - he was perhaps three or four inches shorter than me, his hair a little longer than before, brushing his shoulders and hanging into his eyes and he had probably lost about ten pounds in weight. I stepped back reluctantly and gestured to him to come in, closing the door firmly after him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Don't I even get a hello?"

"I'm not playing games with you, Collin," I said severely. "What was all that shit in the newspaper? The only part that was true was that we hung out when you were vacationing in Barbados."

"Is that all you think it was?"

"It was just a bit of fun, I thought you knew that. So why all this now, a year later?"

"I guess I was hurt...and pissed. We were planning to spend time together and then suddenly it's all over the press that you're with _Edward Cullen_. What the hell do you want with a white Mommy's boy, Jake? I thought we had something."

My mouth fell open and it took me a moment to answer. Two casual weeks more than a year ago and a couple emails and he was under the impression we 'had something'?

"We weren't planning anything."

"I emailed you, remember? Said I was coming over to the island again..."

"I messaged you back and said I wasn't going to see you!" I snapped. "That was weeks ago; months actually. If you had anything to say about it, why didn't you do it then, instead of suddenly showing up here and telling the press all of that bullshit about us being in a relationship?"

"I knew you'd be glad when you saw me," he said with a smile. "I had to delay my trip a little, but I booked the flight and everything. Then it was in the paper that you were in LA, with that spineless jerk who's trying to pretend he's gay just to get more attention! Imagine how I felt, knowing you were with somebody else! I changed my flight to come here instead to sort everything out and...I guess I thought, two can play at that game. I've seen his interviews and his fucking lies about you. You're being made a fool of. He's only doing it so it sounds like his life is the same as his movie, so it gets more interest. He'll probably go back to Bella when it's done and play happy families with the baby."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I demanded incredulously. "You're not the person I remember; not at all."

"Of course I'm me; who else would I be? You just didn't pay enough attention; get to know me properly. But we can do that now; we have a lot of catching up to do."

His raised voice dropped to a purr and to my horror, he prowled towards me, smiling, flicking his hair out of his eyes. I just didn't get it. He was completely different to when I'd seen him before. That Collin had been fun, casual, easy to be with and I wondered what could have happened to him in the last year that had turned him into such a disillusioned individual. Drugs perhaps? I narrowed my eyes and squinted at him, looking for the tell-tale signs that I had grown familiar with when I'd lived in LA; former friends, other actors and musicians succumbing to what had started off as something recreational and easily accessible to those with money. It didn't look like he was taking anything from a physical point of view, but who knew? His behaviour certainly indicated he wasn't himself.

I backed away and thrust my hands out to ward him off. "Stay away from me. I was in two minds about inviting you up here, but I didn't want a conversation in the lounge that would have been overheard and given to the press. You've caused enough embarrassment for Edward already with that ridiculous story. Now why don't you sit down, I'll get us a drink and we'll talk properly. I don't know what's going on with you, but you're acting crazy."

"I don't want to sit down and have a drink; I want you to end this charade with Cullen and come back to me. We're meant for each other, Jake. You'll see that when you look at me properly. I don't have any ties in Florida any more; I can leave tomorrow and come home with you. Let's wait for him to come back and tell him together; then we can leave right away."

I had no idea what to say and I was at a loss as to how to handle the situation. I hadn't known what to expect when he showed up at the hotel, but it certainly hadn't been this and I was out of my depth. He wasn't listening to me or thinking rationally and I glanced at the phone, considering calling hotel security to have him removed. Where the hell was Paul? How much time had gone by since I called him? I looked at my watch and noticed it was almost fifteen minutes since I'd spoken to him. More time had gone by than I realised and I just hoped the man I had once thought of as an arrogant and bitter thug wouldn't take much longer to arrive.

**Edward's POV**

"Cut!" Rosalie exclaimed and Jasper and I grinned at each other before we walked off the set. It had been an easy scene to get right, just a chat between friends, and we'd nailed it in three takes. I wouldn't be needed again for a few hours as part of the set had to be altered and I decided to go to my trailer and call Jacob before I hung out with the other guys.

"Ed! Come here!" Paul grabbed me roughly by the arm and began to charge towards the parking lot, yelling for Marcus as we hurried along. He had taken a liking to one of the girls in the cafeteria and had begun hanging out there rather than leaving and coming back to collect us when he was needed.

"What are you doing? What's going on?"

"That fucker, Collin Littlesea, showed up at the hotel. Jake just called me. I was gonna go over there myself, but since you're done..."

My heart began to race and my stomach knotted nervously. Collin was here? In the hotel talking to Jacob? What could he possibly want? I obeyed silently as Paul pulled the car door open and almost shoved me into the back seat, scooting in after me. Marcus was already sliding behind the wheel.

"Go! Get to the hotel as quick as you can!" Paul instructed and we took off with a screech of tyres, heading for the manned gates which would probably have a crowd of press and fans outside them as always.

"What's going on?" I repeated.

"I don't know; maybe he wants to get back at Jake for being with somebody else, in public. How the hell should I know? Sounds like a psycho to me," Paul rumbled.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked worriedly.

"Punch the fucker."

"Seriously, Paul."

"Well, that's what I'd do. Ok, just go in and weigh things up. If he's acting crazy, deck him or call security. If not, just make it clear he's invading your territory. Jake's most likely doing that anyway, but it never hurts to come over all possessive."

I chewed my lip. "Jacob would probably hate that."

"You think? I'm pretty sure he'd be happy about you telling the opposition to fuck off and crawl back under the rock he came out from; pointing out he belongs to you."

"Marcus, can you slow down?" I frowned, clutching at the door handle as the car swerved around a corner.

"Ignore him; step on it," Paul said loudly. "Get a hold of yourself, Cullen. Where's your killer instinct?"

"I hate confrontations," I snapped. "This isn't me."

I was still saying the same thing when we strode into the hotel and stepped into one of the elevators. Paul seemed to be making a big thing out of what was probably no big deal. Jacob was most likely talking to Collin, finding out why he lied in the interview and sending him away in no uncertain terms. He wouldn't want me wading in there, acting like something I wasn't. He probably called Paul because he wanted a witness, so that if Collin told any more lies, he would have someone to speak for him.

"Ed, listen...it's probably nothing. I should think the little shit's about to get kicked out of the room any time now," Paul said at that moment. "But we don't know him, do we? He might have gotten some fantasy in his head that Jake's his. Whatever, look like you mean business."

I sighed heavily.

"I said this to you once before, remember? You're an actor and the best I know, much as I would have hated to admit that not long ago, so fucking act, why don't you?"

My face warmed as I immediately remembered that day in his trailer where we'd had to practise the love scene and Paul chuckled. "Don't go in there blushing, for Christ's sake; they'll wonder what we've been doing."

"You're a jerk," I grimaced.

"I'm trying to lighten the mood. You need to calm down."

"Says you, dragging me away from the studio like we're in a car chase." I stepped off the elevator and headed down the corridor to the room, pulling out the key card I had in my pocket. It would be nothing, I told myself. They were probably having a perfectly relaxed conversation and I was all riled up for no reason.

"Why do you keep saying that? _You're mine!"_ a voice shouted on the other side of the door.

My breath caught in my throat. I clenched my teeth and swiped the key card through the lock, opening the door and surveying the scene in front of me. Jacob stood at the far side of the room, his face a combination of anger and shock and a few feet from him was a young Native guy about my age, smaller, thinner, shaggy-haired and wild-eyed.

"I love you!" he went on loudly. "We're meant to be together!"

I felt a surge of rage inside me as I stared at the young guy, still unaware that I had entered the room. Seven years I had longed for Jacob and now I finally had him, nothing was going to fuck it up for me. Paul was right.

"Close the door," I said under my breath and Paul, a pace behind me, did so quietly. Jacob's eyes flew to my face and his relief was unmistakable.

"Edward..."

Collin spun around to look at me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. This is my room and that's my man you're bothering. He's made it clear enough he's with me, so I would suggest you accept that and get out before I have security remove you."

Jacob's eyes widened and he glanced from me to Paul and back again.

"Jacob's mine," Collin spat. "He was mine a year ago and he's mine now. I'm sure you read about it in the paper. Kind of funny that he didn't even tell you and you had to get it from the press like everybody else."

"He told me all about it," I said icily. "A holiday romance, wasn't it? A few drinks, surfing and swimming. A few quick fucks." I hadn't missed the way Jacob had almost said that and then changed his words to 'a fling' when he had been talking to Leah. "I don't know what you hope to gain from this embarrassing display, but a large proportion of the population support me and with that, Jacob too. All you're doing is making a fool out of yourself and you can be certain that this will all be in tomorrow's editions. You've got your fifteen minutes of fame, but it won't do you any favours and you won't get what you came for, I can promise you that."

"Edward..." Jacob began.

"Whatever you said to him didn't work," I interrupted. "I am not having this shit! I've had enough. Collin, either you leave now, or I'll have you escorted out and arrested if necessary. What's it to be?"

Paul caught my eye and winked and I did my best to ignore him, keeping the scowl on my face. Maybe this wasn't me, but it felt like it was at that moment. I had been through so much; my mother taking Jacob away from me, trying to be what they wanted while I gradually began to hate my life, Bella and her shit with Sam and the baby, the press, my mother again actually trying to pay Jacob to leave me and now this person in front of me who meant nothing, daring to think he could take the love of my life away from me. I seethed and clenched my fists, wondering if I would really go as far as Paul suggested and deck him. I glared at him as I waited for an answer, but to my surprise, the reply I expected didn't come. Instead, he burst into tears.

"Are you going to let him speak to me like that, Jake?" he cried.

"Edward's got every right to speak to you any way he chooses," Jacob said firmly. "You can't just turn up here, making up stories and carrying on like this. I made it clear enough there's nothing between us. I would suggest you do as he says and leave."

"I'm not going. I'm not. You can't make me!"

He sounded like a sulky child after its favourite toy had been taken away and before any of us could react, he suddenly pulled the bedroom door open, raced through the room and slammed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"Fuck," Jacob muttered. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"It's not your fault, he's a nut job," Paul blurted. "Want me to get him out of there?"

"No, Paul. I'm calling security," Jacob said, picking up the phone.

"I would call the psyche unit of the hospital while you're at it." He stepped closer to me while Jacob called down for assistance. "Are you ok, Ed?"

"Yes!" I said fiercely and he nudged me with his elbow.

"I'm impressed."

"Stop it."

"They'll be here in a minute," Jacob said, putting the phone down again and dragging a hand through his hair, the action similar to one of my nervous habits. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." I went to him and slid my arms around his neck and he hugged me tightly, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Thank you; you're being amazing."

"I thought you'd hate it. I wasn't really sure what to do. Paul said I should hit him."

Jacob chuckled softly into my neck and then pulled away as Paul opened the door in response to a loud knock. Two uniformed hotel security guys stood outside and they strode in now and asked where the intruder was.

"Locked in the bathroom," Jacob said.

We listened in disbelief as we were advised that they couldn't remove Collin by force unless he was a threat to one of us and that we would do better to have a friend, family member or a doctor coax him out of the bathroom first. They would remove him from the room afterwards.

"This is bullshit!" Paul exclaimed. "He could be in there gobbling pills to do himself in or something equally crazy."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but we have to go by the book in situations like this."

"We'd have been better dealing with it ourselves," Paul muttered to me.

Jacob picked up the phone again to ask for the hotel doctor in the absence of anyone else. Luckily he was in the building and arrived in the room five minutes later. Jacob explained the situation to him again and he went to the bathroom door and began talking through it, but there was complete silence on the other side. Jacob and I hovered uncomfortably outside the bedroom, listening to the doctor's futile efforts to make Collin open the door and Paul paced angrily, fists clenched, glowering at the two useless security guards. Ten minutes passed and the doctor took out his phone, advising us that he was calling a colleague from the nearby hospital who was a psyche specialist. When he ended the call he told us the man would arrive in half an hour.

"This is ridiculous!" I exclaimed. "This is my room and basically you're all telling me that you can't do anything."

"I'm sorry, Sir, such a situation has to be handled sensitively," the doctor replied.

"For fuck's sake!" Paul growled, stalking into the bedroom. "Get out of my way."

"What are you doing?" the man asked him.

"Dealing with things, since you won't. Now move before I make you move."

Clearly intimidated by Paul's angry face and the muscles bulging in his arms as he balled his fists, the doctor stepped aside.

"Paul, maybe you should leave it to them," Jacob said doubtfully.

Ignoring him, Paul delivered a hefty kick to the door, breaking the lock. The door flew open and he marched out of the room and came back to join us, eyeing the security guards.

"There. Now one of you get the fucker out of there before I do it myself. Jeez."

Collin was calm, but crying quietly as they led him out of the room. I heaved a sigh of relief and pulled out my phone to call Leah to fill her in on what had happened and then the hotel lobby again to ask for someone to repair the bathroom door. Jacob poured himself and Paul a drink and sank onto the couch while I made the calls.

"What did Leah say?" he asked when I joined him.

"She's going to do some digging and find out what's going on with Collin."

"I'm a bit surprised at you getting involved with a crazy fucker like that," Paul said.

"He wasn't like that when I knew him; not at all."

Jacob filled us in on the conversation he had with Collin before Paul and I had arrived and I had to agree with his thoughts that the young guy might have been taking something that had altered his personality. However, some hours later, we learned that the opposite was the case.

The hotel sent up a maintenance person to fix the bathroom door more or less straight away and Jacob decided to accompany Paul and me to the studio and either watch the filming or hang out in my trailer. Of course the three of us were photographed on the way out of the hotel and bombarded with questions, but we managed to dive into the car quickly without really saying much. The crew were almost ready to start on the next scene when we reached the studios and I knew it was one which involved Paul and me in a romantic setting in Steven's apartment. Jacob had decided to watch for a while and was told where he could sit without being in the way, which made the scene pretty awkward for me.

"On the couch, you two," Rosalie instructed as we walked into the living room of the apartment. The room was lit only by the television screen and I lay down on the couch on my back, relieved that the dim light would hide my blushes. Paul manoeuvred himself between me and the back of the couch and stretched out, one leg resting between my thighs, an arm under my neck.

"Take it from, 'I want to ask you something,' Paul," said Rosalie. "Everyone ready?"

A few voices confirmed and the next thing I hear was, "Action!"

Paul touched my face with his free hand and I looked up at him.

"I want to ask you something," he said.

"Go on."

"You know I love you..."

I laughed. I hadn't been so uncomfortable with these types of scenes since I'd gotten through the love scene with Paul, but I felt embarrassed with Jacob sitting there ten feet away and I giggled helplessly.

"Cut!"

"I'm so sorry," I groaned.

We started again...and again. It took five takes for Steven to actually ask Martin to move in with him, without me laughing or forgetting what I was supposed to say, but eventually the short scene was done and Paul climbed off me and pulled me up. I went to speak to Jacob while the cameras were moved around ready for the next short scene and he decided to wait in my trailer while I worked, realising he was proving to be a distraction.

Several hours passed before the day's filming was done and I returned to the trailer to change out of Martin's clothes and into my own. I quickly exchanged shirt and dress pants for jeans and sweater and for once, Jacob's eyes weren't on me.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah." He got to his feet. "Leah called me back. Collin really is crazy. Well, that's probably a bit harsh, but apparently he was in a psychiatric unit at a hospital in Florida for some time before I knew him. I don't know all the details, but she said something about him being bipolar. He was in the unit about three months and then released into his mother's care, but put on a cocktail of meds, which he was still taking when I met him. He stopped taking them earlier this year, which would explain what seems to me to be completely out of character. His mother and doctor are flying over to escort him back home; I think he'll be in for another spell in hospital."

"Wow, that's awful," I said. "Will he be ok?"

"He turns up here causing me trouble and embarrassing you and you're worried if he's ok?" Jacob said in surprise.

"Well, he's sick; if his head's screwed up it's a little different to him deliberately trying to sabotage what we have."

"I guess." He pulled me close to him and pressed his face into my neck. "You were awesome today."

"I thought you might not like me being like that."

"What? Possessive and bossy? I thought you might have been acting, but I loved it just the same. I love you."

"I love you too," I replied. "I can't wait for all this to be over, so it can be just you and me."


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

**Edward's POV**

Predictably the story about Collin was front page news the next morning, including a picture of him being ushered into an ambulance outside the hotel by a doctor and a security guard. Most of the article was speculation although for once it wasn't too far off the mark. Jacob and I were clearly sticking together, which could only mean that Collin's arrival wasn't welcome, leading the reporter to believe that his previous interview had been wishful thinking on the part of an obsessed fan. Dad called me after he'd seen the article and I explained what had happened quickly before changing the subject.

"How's Mom?"

"She's busy with her show right now."

"Meaning she's not talking?" I guessed.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. Things will work themselves out; they usually do," he said.

We agreed to catch up again in a week or so, perhaps have dinner away from the hotel. In the meantime, Jacob and I decided to do exactly the same thing. He had barely set foot outside since he arrived and I kept worrying that he must be bored out of his mind when I wasn't there. He had been intending to contact some old acquaintances while he was in LA, but I knew he hadn't done so far and I suggested we get out and do something although I wasn't too sure we should actually go on a date so soon after I had come out to the world. As usual, I called Leah and she thought going out as a group with Paul and Jasper would be a good idea.

Three days later Marcus drove us all, Alice included, to one of my favourite seafood restaurants and I realised it was far too long since I'd had the opportunity to go out and enjoy myself. The last time had been with Jasper and that had ended with me decking Leah's brother. I resolved to stay sober and simply enjoy the food and the company, although Paul and Jasper were both somewhat worse for wear by the time we headed out to the car again. Alice, who was tiny, struggled to help Jasper, who was the most drunk, keep on his feet while Paul held onto the other side of him, cursing at the paparazzi who quickly flocked around us on the short journey back to the car. Jacob had grabbed my hand as we left the table and I kept hold of him as we headed out the door behind the others.

"Damn, Edward, you should've ditched Bella for him years ago!" a voice called out and I chuckled as I glanced at Jacob.

"I think they like you."

"How could they not?" he grinned.

I slid into the car and scooted along the seat as Jacob and Paul followed me. Jasper collapsed onto the seat facing us and almost lay on it, leaving no room for Alice who exasperatedly perched herself on Paul's lap instead as Marcus closed the door. Jacob's arm snaked around me and tugged me in closer to his side and his lips touched my ear as the car began to move. I glanced at the others, but none of them were paying any attention to us; Jasper was sprawling out with his eyes closed, laughing at nothing, while Paul and Alice joked and teased each other, Paul saying sternly that she better keep her hands to herself or he'd wind up with a black eye from Jasper.

I turned my head towards Jacob and his lips glided along my jaw to the corner of my mouth. The past two nights we hadn't made love and it was mostly down to me. It had been intermittent since the first time, mainly because I'd gotten sore, still a little unused to it and unable to completely relax, but in addition the constant pressure of the press, the movie, my parents and Collin Littlesea had made things difficult for us, resulting in it seeming more important to just hold onto and comfort each other.

"What are you thinking?" Jacob whispered.

"That all of this shit we've been dealing with is...getting in the way of _us_."

"That was bound to happen; but it's not right now, is it?" His free hand came to rest on my midriff, his thumb slipping between two shirts buttons and touching my skin, making me shiver. He slowly worked one button free to make room for his hand and stroked it back and forth over my stomach. My pulse quickened and I felt my cock twitch against my thigh.

"I can't wait to get back to the hotel," I said under my breath.

"Shame we didn't go out on our own. Imagine what we could have done on this seat if we were alone."

"Don't," I hissed.

Jacob laughed softly and his lips ghosted over mine, the tip of his tongue teasing, seeking access to my mouth. I parted my lips to admit it and closed my eyes with a sigh, lifting my hand to his neck as his tongue eagerly explored and his lips crushed mine. My cock lengthened and pushed against my zipper, aching for his touch.

"Damn, you two are fucking hot!" Paul exclaimed.

My cheeks burned and Jacob broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against mine as we caught our breath. When he drew back I glanced down, noting the obvious bulge in his pants and my own erection throbbed impatiently. It was a twenty-minute ride back to the hotel and I didn't want to get out of the car in front of the press with a hard-on, but all I could think about was hurrying to our room and getting naked. I could imagine Jacob leaning over me on the bed, pushing my legs apart, lubing up his fingers to prepare me for his cock and a helpless groan escaped me.

"Sshh." He pressed a finger to my lips and his dark eyes met mine, appearing almost black. "I'm thinking the same thing."

"Reading my mind?" I whispered.

"No, your eyes and your face and..." He dropped his eyes to my crotch and I smirked.

He drew away again and I tried to think about something else, willing myself to calm down. My erection eventually subsided a little, but determinedly remained at half-mast, forcing me to shove my hands into my pockets when we reached the hotel and got out of the car. Luckily there were only a couple of photographers there and Jacob and Paul occupied themselves by dragging Jasper into the lobby. Alice tucked her hands through my arm instead and walked with me until we reached the elevators. Jacob punched several buttons and two doors sprang open at the same time.

"You better have one to yourselves," Paul grinned, shoving Jasper ahead of him into one car.

Jacob and I took the other and as soon as the doors slid shut, he was pinning me to the wall with his body, his mouth hungrily devouring mine, hands running up and down my sides. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue thrust in, my cock immediately fully erect again, throbbing against his thigh which he had manoeuvred between my legs. He was as aroused as I was, his hardness grinding against my hip, his heart hammering in his chest in time with my own. I was panting for breath when he stepped away from me a second before the elevator doors opened and we hurried down the corridor to our room, my shaking hands fumbling with the key as I tried to open the door, but at last we were in the room, the door closed, shutting us away from the world again.

I intended to head straight for the bedroom, but before I could take even one step I found myself against the wall once more, Jacob's fingers swiftly unfastening my shirt buttons, his lower body close enough for me to feel his clothed cock nudging mine while his lips and teeth nibbled my ear and neck, working their way down to my collar bone. His warm hands stroked over my chest, fingers pinching and tugging on my nipples, making them stiffen and I moaned helplessly, making a half-hearted attempted to undo Jacob's shirt too, until he batted my hands away and turned his attention to my belt. His mouth returned to mine and I struggled to breathe through my nose as our tongues danced together, our kiss hot and wet and messy, deep groans rumbling from Jacob's throat as he paused in his attempts to get my clothes off and ground himself against me instead.

My cock ached for release and I could feel my underwear growing damp around the head as it oozed pre-cum, my balls tight up against my body. Jacob's mouth left mine again and he felt for my zipper, lowering it quickly and sliding his hand inside to cup my erection.

"God...Jake..." I gasped.

"Tell me what you want," he murmured, stroking me firmly through my shorts.

I could barely think coherently, aware only of the feel of his hand on me and how badly I needed to come. A couple more minutes of him doing just what he was doing now and it would happen anyway, but I wanted more.

"Uh...your mouth..." I mumbled.

He stepped away from me and dropped to his knees, then in one quick movement lowered both my pants and underwear to my knees, freeing my cock. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, holding my breath until his hand wrapped around me and his lips gently ghosted over the head and then I breathed out again fast, clenching my fists at my sides.

"I'm not...going to last..." I gasped.

"Fuck my mouth." His lips parted and surrounded me, drawing me swiftly into the moist heat of his mouth and continuing until I bumped the back of his throat. Then he took his hand off and gripped my hips instead, sliding the fingers around to squeeze my butt and encourage me to thrust back and forth while he flicked his tongue against my shaft, driving me rapidly towards orgasm. One finger touched my hole and he stroked over it, teasing me when I wanted nothing more than for him to push it into me. I glanced down at him again and he hollowed his cheeks, sucking harder, his teeth gently grazing my sensitive shaft and it was too much.

"Fuck...so close...uh...Jake...fuck...coming..." I babbled. My hands were in his hair, tugging at the short strands, my hips jerking erratically as I lost control and shot my load into his throat, one pulse after another. He swallowed around me, his hands caressing my butt more gently until he drew back, sucking on the head of my cock to draw the last drops from me before he released it and looked up.

"God, that was so fast it's embarrassing," I panted.

"No, it was hot," Jacob grinned. "I loved how desperate you were when we got in here. I love making you come."

"What about you?" I rubbed a hand over my hot face and found it to be damp and sweaty, my wild hair sticking to my forehead and the back of my neck.

"I'm saving it until I'm inside you." He placed a small kiss on the tip of my slightly softened cock and I groaned weakly and simply stood there as he unfastened my shoes and removed them along with my socks, then my pants and underwear until I was left in nothing but my shirt and suit jacket. Then he got to his feet and his lips brushed lightly over mine, giving me a faint taste of myself before he pulled back and led me into the bedroom.

I lay down and stretched out in the middle of the bed, watching through half-closed eyes as Jacob removed his own clothes, tossing them aside carelessly until he was naked too, his thick, dark cock quivering against his belly. He wrapped a hand around it and gave it a few firm pumps and I groaned at the sight, almost wishing he would just stand there and jerk off while I watched. My heart was still racing and my cock hadn't subsided fully and as Jacob came to join me on the bed, pushing his wet tip against my thigh, my erection slowly began to lengthen again.

"Fuck, I want you so much." Jacob's breath was hot in my ear as he spoke and he turned me to face him, slipping a hand under my knee to draw my leg up and over his hip, then trailing his fingers up and down my thigh and over my butt, reaching between my legs to lightly stroke my balls. I moaned and gyrated myself against him, feeling his cock pushing against me.

"You're ready again so soon," he grinned.

"It seems like a long time; my fault, I guess."

"Hey." He took his hand off of me suddenly and touched my face instead, angling my head so that he could meet my eyes. "We don't have to keep doing this if you don't want. I mean...hands and mouths are enough."

"I want to," I said at once. "Jake..."

"I keep hurting you; you don't hide it very well," he sighed.

"I'm sorry." I groaned and turned my face into his neck.

"You're uncomfortable and you're the one saying sorry?"

"It's not us...this...it's everything else; I'm always so fucking tense. I love doing this with you." My cock was belying my words by rapidly softening and I edged away from him a little. "I can't wait for it all to be over so it can be just you and me," I said.

"It will be soon enough. Don't do things just to please me though, in the meantime."

"I'm not," I said firmly. "Tonight's the first time I haven't actually been worrying about anything in weeks." I was worrying now, however. I felt as if I had spoiled the mood and Jacob's subsiding erection confirmed it. I removed my leg from his hip and made to back away, but he continued to hold me close.

"You're worrying now," he murmured. "I know you too well. Stop it." A light kiss and then he was rolling away from me. "Come with me."

I sat up as he disappeared into the bathroom and a moment later I heard water running into the bath. I got up quickly and went to join him, shaking off the brief disappointment I felt as I discovered him emptying an entire bottle of bubble bath into the rapidly rising water, creating a frothy six-inch deep layer on the surface. I stepped in quickly and sat down, lying back in the large tub, joined immediately by Jacob who proceeded to wrap his arms around me and kiss and nibble at my ear as our bodies gradually became submerged.

"I'm a jerk, aren't I?" I said ruefully.

"No, but you do worry too much. You think you spoiled things, don't you?"

"Mmm."

"You didn't spoil anything, babe. I love you, you know that."

"I love you too." I closed my eyes and nestled against him, enjoying the feel of the almost, but not quite too hot water covering me, one of Jacob's hands slowly stroking over my chest beneath the bubbles, his breath warm in my ear as he whispered to me. The brief interruption was quickly forgotten and I began to feel languid and relaxed. We lay there for perhaps fifteen minutes and then Jacob moved away from me suddenly.

"Stand up."

I did so curiously, bubbles clinging to my body in places. Jacob shifted onto his knees and grabbed a sponge, beginning to rinse me off with it and use it to stroke and tease me. I planted my feet apart and the sponge worked its way up and down each of my thighs, then between them to my balls and my ass, the light touch tantalising, causing my cock to rise swiftly until it was pointing at Jacob's face, bobbing in front of me and begging to be touched. I bit my lip and watched as he stroked the underside of it with the sponge, then rinsed off any remaining bubbles and flicked the tip of his tongue over the head and placed little kisses along my length to my groin.

"Feel better?" he murmured.

"God...yes. You're too good to me," I smiled.

He got to his feet and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel and swiftly drying himself. His erection bumped his belly as he moved and I watched eagerly, unconsciously licking my lips as he rubbed the towel over it and dried between his legs. Then he was drying me, more slowly than he had done himself, teasing me with the fluffy towel until once again I was aching for his touch. We returned to the bed and lay down together in the same position we had left a short time ago, my leg draped over Jacob's hip, my cock nudging him impatiently as his fingertips lightly stroked my back and my butt.

"I want you," I groaned.

"Do you want to just touch me, or...?"

"I want you to fuck me," I said firmly.

Jacob grinned and nibbled at my ear, stretching out one arm behind him towards the bed table. I heard the snap of the lid on the lube and then his hand was on me again, his fingers stroking between my legs, the cool slick substance coating my hole and making me shiver. I squirmed against him and slid my hand between us, grasping his cock and pumping it slowly as his finger circled, teasing my twitching hole, pushing against it gently every so often. He was touching me as if it was my first time all over again, only this time I wasn't tense; not at all.

"Please," I whispered.

The tip of one digit entered me and then withdrew again and I writhed impatiently, silently begging him for more. My cock throbbed urgently and my balls ached as if we hadn't done anything earlier and I was still desperate to come. Jacob's finger slid into me again, breaching the ring of muscle and pushing deeper, then carefully thrusting in and out, moving easily with the coating of lube and my relaxed state.

"This ok?" he asked.

"Yes," I breathed. "You're amazing."

"I've barely done anything yet," he teased. "Take your hand off my cock."

"I want to touch you."

"You'll make me come too fast."

Reluctantly I removed my hand and slid my arm around his waist instead, gyrating my hips and rubbing my leaking erection against his thigh as he slowly added a second finger. I felt no discomfort, only impatience for more and I pushed myself eagerly against his hand, longing for him to reach my prostate, but he continued to torment me for a few minutes longer with shallow thrusts, scissoring his fingers a little to stretch me.

"God...please..." I begged.

"Feel ok?"

"I want your cock!" I blurted and Jacob chuckled quietly.

"Not yet."

"You're a tease."

"This what you want?" His fingers curled upwards and I saw stars as the tips bumped my prostate, withdrew a little and then pushed deeper and tapped it again.

"Fuck!" I squirmed helplessly, grinding my cock against his leg, feeling pre-cum leaking from me onto his skin. "I need to come."

"You can wait a bit longer."

I groaned as his fingers withdrew and listened as he squeezed out more lube. Then he was touching me again, dipping into my hole briefly, adding a third finger and turning them this way and that, stretching me more and working them deeper. I sucked my breath in and then let it go slowly, ignoring the slight burn and concentrating on the friction my cock was receiving from his muscular thigh as he moved it against me, letting me virtually hump his leg as I ached for release. I was impatient for more, but I knew he was prolonging the preparation to make sure I was completely relaxed and ready and I said nothing until my balls were throbbing almost painfully and I could feel Jacob's cock leaking onto my skin, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he rubbed himself against me.

"I'm ready...please...need you," I gasped.

He withdrew his fingers slowly with an obscene wet sound and I rolled onto my back as he moved away from me and sat up, picking up a condom. My hand quickly drifted to my erection and I stroked myself as I watched him roll the rubber onto himself and coat it liberally in lube and I spread my legs and pulled my knees up in readiness for him. I felt as if I would come in barely any less time than when he'd sucked me earlier and I reluctantly took my hand off of myself and slid my arms around Jacob instead as he lowered himself over me and guided himself to my entrance.

"Look at me," he whispered and I opened my eyes slowly and met his. Then the blunt head of his cock was pushing at me, slipping into me without any discomfort. He held still for a moment and then inched deeper, pausing and withdrawing almost to the tip each time until eventually his balls came to rest against mine and his cock filled me. He stayed there unmoving, teasing my lips with light little pecks while I grew used to his length, feeling only tightness and again a faint burn. Then he began to move slowly, shallow thrusts in and out until I was gripping his hips, pushing myself up against him urgently, encouraging him to fuck me harder. He began withdrawing further and slamming back in, his cock brushing my prostate and making my own erection throb eagerly, his eyes still fixed on my face. Then suddenly he stopped and I groaned in frustration.

Jacob grinned and pushed himself upwards away from me, moving carefully to prevent himself slipping from me as he drew his legs up under him and slid his hands behind my knees, raising my legs until my feet rested on his shoulders. My cock twitched impatiently against my belly and I grasped it automatically.

"That's it, make yourself come." Jacob leaned forward over me again, pushing himself deeper into me until his hips were tight against me, then drew back and shifted his knees slightly. When he snapped his hips forward again and plunged deep, his cock struck my prostate firmly and I cried out loudly, helplessly.

_"Holy shit!"_

Jacob's grin widened. "I won't be able to keep this up for long, I'm almost coming. Fuck your fist."

I began to jerk myself off urgently, my free arm stretched out on the mattress to help me balance, my legs pushing against Jacob's chest as he thrust into me harder and faster, each deep penetration bumping the gland inside me and driving me rapidly towards my orgasm. The ball of heat coiling in my belly filled my balls and they tightened against my body, my cock thickening at the base and beginning to pulse in my hand. I looked down, watching as I spurted onto my own chest, my body a helpless jumble of almost unbearable sensations, the sound of my moans and gasps filling the room. My muscles tightened around Jacob's cock as his hips began to jerk erratically, his movements slowing as he struggled to stay upright above me. I felt him fill the condom inside me, holding himself deep in me, his groans and curses loud in my ears. When he stopped moving I let my legs slide further apart until they slipped off of his shoulders, my feet landing back on the mattress either side of him. I was panting for breath and incapable of speech and I simply lay there as he slowly withdrew and disposed of the condom, then lay down beside me.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No. Fuck..." I gasped. "We need to do that again."

"I'm not sure I could go another round quite yet," Jacob teased.

"Jerk." I turned over slowly to face him and kissed his neck, tasting salt. "That was amazing."

"No discomfort?"

"No."

I moved away reluctantly and grabbed some tissues to wipe the mess off of my chest. Jacob cleaned himself up quickly and then drew me back into his arms and I closed my eyes. My body felt heavy and suddenly I was struggling to remain awake, fighting sleep in order to enjoy the glow surrounding me a little longer. I could feel Jacob's heartbeat slowing under my hand, his breathing deepening as he began to succumb and eventually I gave up and let myself drift away too.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

**Jacob's POV**

When I opened my eyes the next morning, Edward was still resting against me, one hand on my chest, a tuft of his hair tickling my cheek and his erection prodding my hip. I grinned and turned my head to look at him.

"You alright?"

"Better than alright." He stretched languidly and slid his hand lower, tracing the shape of my abs with one finger. "You made last night amazing. I wish we had time this morning, but I've got an early call."

Reluctantly he removed his hand from my skin and brushed his lips against mine, then rolled away from me and got up. I watched appreciatively as he walked into the bathroom, his cock leading the way and my own twitched impatiently. I ignored it and sat up to call room service while Edward showered, glancing at the clock and noting we had less than an hour until he had to leave for the studio.

"I hope they don't need Jasper the same time as you!" I called out. "He's probably got a killer headache!"

"No, just me and Paul!"

Edward returned, hair dripping into his eyes and began dressing quickly. "I hate that I have to take off."

"Well, only another couple of months, right?"

"Yeah. And then about a thousand interviews." He pulled a face and threw himself onto the bed again, now wearing jeans and a half-fastened shirt. "I can't wait to get back to your place."

"Me too. I should probably go back for a day or two and check on things before too much longer," I said. I'd decided more or less as soon as I arrived that I would stay in LA for the duration of Edward's movie if he wanted me to, but I would have to at least make sure things were alright back home and deal with various bills that would be due any time.

Edward's face fell, but he quickly forced a smile. "You must be bored here."

"You said that before; of course I'm not bored. I'll go back next week, then I can stay here until you're done with the movie. I'll bring my laptop back with me, then I can work on my book. I wanted to catch up with some people I used to know here too, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I'll just go home when you go to New York and wait for you."

Breakfast and the day's copy of the Globe arrived shortly after and we ate the food while reading the latest episode in the 'Edward Cullen Saga'. There was a photograph on the front page of Edward and me leaving the restaurant hand in hand, my face turned towards him, grinning and his head lowered, his lips pulled up into the crooked smile I loved so much.

_'Edward Cullen shares a private joke with new man, Jacob Black, as they leave the Lobster Pot restaurant last night.'_

A lot of the article recapped the past few weeks' events, concentrating more on the parts that involved me, such as Edward's visit to Barbados and the parallels between his life and the movie, adding that his parents had been unavailable for comment, but that 'Cullen Senior' had been heard expressing support for his son.

"More of the same," Edward sighed.

"At least it doesn't say anything bad. Golden Boy," I teased.

"Yeah, I know it could have been worse. I better go; Marcus will be outside." He leaned over to give me a warm, coffee flavoured kiss and in another minute I was alone.

During the next week our routine continued much the same. Edward worked long hours at the studio and I began looking up old friends and acquaintances, managing to spend time with several and catching up on five years' worth of gossip. All of them already knew I was in LA and had been speculating about my relationship with Edward, although I avoided saying much about him, knowing he wouldn't like me talking about him, even if it was to old friends.

There was one particular guy I had hoped to see, but so far I hadn't been able to find out where he was living or working and as time marched on and I had to return to Barbados, I decided to try again on my return. Emmett McCarty had been my personal bodyguard when I was at the height of my career and had received anonymous threats for a short period, and he had ended up being one of my closest friends. After he stopped working for me, we had spent a lot of time together hanging out and he had been the one person to whom I had confessed, after too many beers, that I'd had a 'thing' for Edward. He had laughingly told me that 'Mommy and Daddy Cullen' would have me castrated if I so much as moved one toe in that direction. He was probably tickled pink over the latest news, which he must have heard about. It was pretty hard to avoid unless you lived in the Third World.

I flew back to Bridgetown the following Monday morning. Marcus drove me to LAX and I took only the bookbag I had arrived with, knowing I would be gone two or three days at the most. My goodbye with Edward had been a lot different to that when he left Barbados, when both of us had been suppressing tears and I had forced myself to keep my hands off and let him go. He had too many things to deal with then, not least his own feelings. This time we parted reluctantly, but with the idea of making up for lost time to look forward to later in the week.

I grinned to myself as I sprawled in the first class seat, watching a movie. Things had been amazing between us for the past week. Edward had gotten over the tension he hadn't been able to shake off previously and we made love every day, trying out different positions, pieces of furniture and the shower and sending Paul out to the drugstore on another occasion to stock up on condoms. His popularity was growing with the progression of the movie and he had been mentioned in the paper as having been seen buying a bumper pack of Trojan, which led to speculation about who he might be spending his time with, Stars Weekly even going so far as to say that perhaps I had competition and that Edward's closeness to his co-star was spilling over from the studio to the bedroom. Edward had been furious, but both Paul and I just laughed.

"Like I'd have a chance even if I was interested," Paul had said to me. "Ed doesn't know anybody else exists."

I arrived in Bridgetown late that evening and took a cab back to the house, finding it pristine and gleaming, a scent of lemons in the air from Adanna's most recent polishing spree. I was starving and opened the freezer to hunt for sustenance. I had left a few supplies in there, although the refrigerator and cupboards would be empty. However, the freezer was stocked with several ready cooked meals which would only require defrosting and heating, a batch of frozen muffins and some home-baked bread. Adanna had prepared for me turning up without warning at any time. I took out a lasagne to microwave and a few muffins and then pulled out my cell to call Edward, guessing he would be back at the hotel by now.

"Miss you already," he said when he answered.

"Me too. I can't wait until we're both here."

We talked until my phone's battery began to wane and then I ate and went to bed. I intended to sort out the bills and anything else that needed dealing with the next day and then fly back to LA the day after that.

Adanna came over in the morning to find me drinking coffee with dried milk and eating muffins and she immediately set out to buy a small supply of groceries to keep me going until I left again. I read the latest edition of the Globe online, which didn't have anything new to report, although one of the other papers had a new story coupled with a picture of me at LAX. I learned that Edward and I had apparently had a 'lover's tiff', since I had left him to go home to Barbados and it was clearly a result of him and his co-star not being able to keep things professional.

I talked to Edward on the phone again before he went to the studio and then began ploughing through the pile of mail that had arrived in my absence. There were a handful of bills which I paid quickly, a few fan letters, all prompted by the news about Edward and me, and two letters from people who had supported Edward and Bella, calling me a home-wrecker and a pervert. Shrugging, I filed those in the trash and booked my flight back to LA for the next day. There was no need for me to stay longer and I couldn't wait to get back to Edward.

The flight back was long and annoying. I remembered to take my laptop and power pack, which was just as well as I sat in Departures for almost three hours while a slight problem with the plane was rectified. Having missed its take-off slot, the plane then waited twenty minutes to get off the ground and circled for forty minutes at the end of the journey, unable to get into LAX due to traffic. By the time I was in a cab on my way back to the hotel, I was exhausted, my head was pounding and I had a missed call from Edward. I had spoken to him while I waited in Bridgetown, but that had been almost twelve hours ago. I sent him a text and sat back in the seat with my eyes closed to discourage the cab driver from talking to me. It was the middle of the night and I couldn't wait to fall into bed and sleep.

Edward was waiting for me when I arrived, in bed but reading his lines with the small lamp beside the bed switched on. He tossed the script aside and jumped up quickly as I put my bookbag and laptop case on the sofa. A moment later I was holding his warm, naked body in my arms and I pressed my face into his neck with a sigh.

"I missed you so much," he said. "Are you ok? You look exhausted."

"Yeah, bit of a headache. After I talked to you, it was another hour before we even boarded, then more delays both ends. I need a shower and sleep." I gave him a warm kiss and then pushed him away gently and headed for the bathroom. Ten more minutes and I was in bed, Edward stroking his fingers through my hair and massaging my temples until the headache dispersed and I fell asleep.

The following morning Edward didn't need to take off to the studio so early and we made love, shared breakfast and caught up with each other's news. It was then that Edward told me there was a message for me.

"An Emmett McCarty called for you. I didn't speak to him, the hotel told me. He left a number; apparently someone told him you'd been looking for him." He handed me a slip of paper with a number on it and Emmett's name. "Old friend?"

"Yeah. He worked for me for a while as a bodyguard and then we got to be friends. I was looking for him before I went home, but no one seemed to know where he was. You'd love him, he's a real comedian; built like the side of a house."

I put the number aside and made the most of the short time I had with Edward before he went to the studio and then I called Emmett. He didn't answer and I listened to the recorded message.

"This is Emmett; leave a message and I'll get back to you. Don't bother calling my house, I'm in the hospital. Have a nice day."

Hospital?

"Hey, it's Jacob Black. I'm back in LA, give me a call, I'd like to catch up." I recited my cellphone number and hung up, hoping he didn't have anything serious wrong with him, or had been injured on duty. I had barely had time to switch on my laptop when he called me back.

"Black! What are you doing back in LA, other than introducing half of the Golden Couple to pastures new?"

"Jesus, Emmett," I groaned. He hadn't changed a bit.

"Three years, Jake, I think I have the right to catch up on some teasing. Coming to see me? They're letting me out on good behaviour in a few hours."

"What happened to you?" I asked. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's nothing, just a scratch. Here, write this address down. I'm renting a house..."

I did as instructed and promised to go over that afternoon to see him. He was currently busy 'flirting with the nurses' and didn't have time to gossip. I went back to the computer and spent some time going over the last work I had done on my book and added a little more, then had the hotel get me a cab to take me to Emmett's house. He had always rented, even now when he was approaching forty and I couldn't really see him ever putting down proper roots. He had never dated a girl for more than a few months, never let anyone move in with him and had changed addresses more times than I could count - unless things had changed since I left LA. I wished I'd made more effort to keep in touch with some of the people I'd left behind, but my friendships had mostly been forgotten when Dad was sick and I'd been flitting between LA and Barbados. Then after he passed on, too much time had gone by and I hadn't bothered to reopen the lines of communication.

The cab let me out in front of a modest house with a porch all the way around and a large shiny truck on the driveway. The front door was open a few inches and his voice bellowed from within when I knocked on the jamb.

"That you, Black? Come on in!"

I followed the voice into the living room and found him stretched out on a long couch, one arm in a sling and a thick white bandage protruding from one leg of a pair of cut-offs.

"What the hell happened to you? That looks like more than a scratch!" I exclaimed.

"Good to see you too. Sit." He pointed at a chair opposite. "I'm fine, or at least I will be when I can use this damned arm again. I got shot; some jerk decided to use me for target practise."

"What?" I gasped.

"It's not as awful as it sounds; pretty interesting actually. Secret mission in the middle east."

It took a few more minutes joking and blustering before Emmett revealed he had been protecting the Secretary of Defence during peace talks in 'one of those hot countries' and the talk hadn't been at all peaceful when one of the locals apparently thought the Secretary intended to cause trouble and tried to shoot him.

"So of course I threw myself in front of him; more fool me. The guy's an asshole, but the pay was worth it." He smirked. "Enough of my heroics. Tell me about Edward Cullen. I've been reading the news in hospital, but I'm sure it's a lot more juicy than they're saying."

"Emmett," I sighed.

"Yeah, maybe not. Cullen doesn't strike me as the type to do anything that could be classed as 'juicy'. So come on, how'd it happen? Five years ago you were panting over him like a lovesick puppy and now you're...doing the same, I guess, but he's reciprocating? I'm not that surprised; Bella Swan's enough to turn anybody gay, even me and that is saying something!"

I groaned and shook my head. He was the same old Emmett; loud, embarrassing, always keen to say the things that nobody else would say, but he was an amazing, loyal guy and a great person to have on your side if you were in trouble. I told him in brief how I'd gotten in touch with Leah after I'd read about Bella and Sam, following which Edward had turned up on my doorstep without warning.

"And I thought he was one of those shy, retiring types," Emmett put in. "Go on. Bet your villa saw some hanky panky while he was over there."

"We talked..."

"That's _all__? _Have you even held his hand yet? Oh, you did, it was in the paper!"

I snorted with laughter. "I don't need to tell you anything; it's all been in the paper."

"Except for what your plans are. Are you staying in LA with him?"

"Not for long. As soon as the movie's finished he's coming back to Barbados with me at least for the time being. We'll figure it out as we go."

"I can't believe he's quitting acting. There'll be a lot of chicks crying into their pillows," Emmett grinned.

"I'm sure you can console them, Em."

I spent most of the afternoon with him, discovering that he had actually gone as far as to get engaged a year ago and let the girl move in with him. However, six weeks of seeing the diamonds sparkling and having her filling the house with flowers and cushions and so on, had Emmett quickly changing his mind.

"Never again," he said with a shudder. "I like my freedom too much. You were like that once."

"Not by choice. When I was acting I didn't want the world finding out and when I fell for Edward I couldn't even look at anybody else. Since then, I don't know, a couple of flings."

"Yes, I read about Psycho Boy," Emmett chortled.

By the time I left, I had agreed to keep in touch with him regularly while I was in LA and as soon as he could get about without the aid of a stick, which he found embarrassing, he would come over to the hotel to meet Edward. I returned to the hotel to find Edward and the others arriving back from the studio, all considering going out to a restaurant again.

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked me.

"Why don't you and I go somewhere alone? We haven't had a proper date yet," I suggested.

"I would love to," he said at once and turned to the others. "Guys, Jacob and I are going somewhere on our own tonight, we'll catch up tomorrow."

"You choose the place; it's three years since I was here and five since I actually went out anywhere. My favourite haunts are probably long gone," I suggested as we headed up to the room.

"There's a bar I really like. I haven't been for a long time, it wasn't Bella's kind of place and my parents did their best to stop me going in there after I reached twenty-one, but I managed a few evenings there. Sort of dark and cosy, old-fasioned music, food like fried chicken and potatoes." He stopped suddenly and laughed, tugging a hand through his hair. "You'd probably hate it."

"Of course I wouldn't hate it; it sounds like a bar in Bridgetown I go to sometimes, except you'd get flying fish and rice to eat. Let's go."

The bar was exactly as Edward had described; dark and crowded, a three piece band playing not too loudly in one corner, the smell of beer and liquor and frying food thick in the air. I thought it seemed like the kind of place where the patrons wouldn't appreciate seeing two guys out together, but as we sat down in a corner booth I spotted a young gay couple sharing cocktails and kisses not too far away, ignored by everyone else. In addition, very few people looked or commented about the fact that Edward Cullen was sitting just feet away from them and other than one girl who came to ask for an autograph, we were undisturbed. We drank beer and ate fried chicken and potatoes, held hands and whispered to each other just like any other couple. For those few hours it was difficult to believe that Edward was an award-winning, multi-millionaire actor and it was only when we stepped outside at the end of the evening that we were surrounded by both fans and press, all wanting a moment with us before we escaped into the back of the car and were whisked away by Marcus.

"That was like stepping into a different world," I said.

"I know, that's why I love it so much. I've seen a few actors and musicians in there before. No one bothers you for some reason. It's like there's some unwritten rule that turns everyone into a nobody when you go through the door."

I thought this was probably the reason Bella hadn't liked the bar, but for us, it was perfect. It was a place that I could go to with Edward while we were both still in LA to prevent us spending most evenings in the hotel room ordering room service like prisoners. We actually made an effort to go to the bar every week or two from then on, taking Jasper and Paul along once or twice and also Emmett, who got along with Edward and the others as well as he did me.

During that time Edward had gone out to dinner with Carlisle on two occasions and the pair were making efforts to build a proper father-son relationship at long last. After the first invite, Edward had been on the point of insisting that I be included, but I dissuaded him, suggesting he give Carlisle time to accept us being together before foisting me upon him. The fact that he was giving Edward his support after so many years of taking the same attitude as Esme was a huge improvement. However, on the third occasion, Carlisle suggested eating dinner in the hotel restaurant, this time including me in the invitation. The evening was a little strained and awkward at times, although Carlisle made efforts to talk to me. I had once seen him as a mentor and father figure and suddenly I was his son's lover, but he was beginning to accept it for Edward's sake and seemed interested in hearing about my book and my home in Barbados.

Edward hadn't talked to his mother at all since she tried to pay me to walk away. She had made one attempt to speak to him, so far as I knew, and been firmly rebuffed. He was hurt and bitter and not ready to discuss things and discover that her attitude showed no signs of changing, so he avoided the issue and Esme kept her distance. Carlisle barely mentioned her during the evening the three of us spent together and I wondered if the woman would ever try to be a decent mother and give Edward the love and support he deserved. She and Bella were like peas in a pod with their attitudes about image and it seemed fitting that Edward had pulled away from both women more or less at the same time. I hoped for his sake he would be able to repair things with his mother, but that depended on Esme.

The studio filming was coming to an end and there were only a few days left before Edward and the cast and crew headed to New York for the on-location shooting, which was intended to take approximately two weeks and we had already agreed that I would go home rather than accompany him to the city, as much as we were loath to be apart from each other. I had been neglecting my book and thought it would be an ideal opportunity to wrap it up and then be able to enjoy spending time with Edward in Barbados when he was done with the movie. I grinned to myself as I remembered the fantasy I'd had while he lay in my yard reading his script; this time it wouldn't have to remain a wish or a dream.

"What are you grinning at?" Edward rolled over in the bed and propped himself up, looking down at me with sparkling green eyes, his hair mussed and sticking out all over his head.

"I was just thinking about a day at my place when you were soaking up the sun with about ten layers of lotion on, reading your script. I was watching you and trying to pretend I wasn't, hoping you wouldn't look around and see how hard I was. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd do to you if things between us were different."

"They're different now," Edward smiled, cheeks turning pink. "What would you have done?"

"You'll have to wait and see. Three weeks and you'll be there with me."

"New York's going to seem endless," he sighed.

"Yeah, but then it'll be almost over. There'll only be the tour whenever that happens and then we have the rest of our lives to plan."

"I can't wait." Edward snuggled against me and closed his eyes and I wrapped both arms around him. He was finally 'my boy', just like dear old Oscar said.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

**Edward's POV**

I never thought I would have been sad to leave Hollywood, but as I sat in the first class seat beside Paul on the flight to New York, I turned my head away from him to hide the tears in my eyes. Even a few days apart from Jacob would have been too long, but two to three weeks seemed endless and I knew that the timescale was conservative. The filming of the movie had stayed on schedule thanks to Rosalie and I didn't doubt it would be wrapped up in time, but I knew I would be required to stay longer for at least a handful of interviews. Then it would be more of the same back in LA before I could get on a plane for Bridgetown.

"Ed!" Paul hissed suddenly and his hand squeezed my shoulder.

"Leave me alone," I whispered.

"I know you miss him, but it's not gonna be long."

"You would say that. Wait until you fall for someone."

"Hopefully that won't be a for a few years yet," he said with an audible smirk. "Come on, you can Skype him or something the minute we get there. We'll be in the same time zone."

"Yeah." I turned over again with a wan smile as I thought about the iPad in my hand luggage, remembering how we had put them to use last time. "Sorry," I added.

"Don't be sorry to me, I don't care if you spend the next few weeks with the miserable face you're wearing now, but you'll suffer so..."

"Get it together; I know." I raised my seat a little and lifted the individual television screen so that it hovered in front of me. "Any good movies?"

"I looked earlier; nothing much, but 'The Last Train' is one of them. Want to watch that?" asked Paul, switching on his own screen.

"A bit self-indulgent to watch my own movie."

"Not really; you'll be watching Jake and I'll be looking out for that millisecond where I'm in it," grimaced Paul.

We watched the movie and by the time it was a quarter the way through, I found myself laughing at Paul's hilarious and self-deprecating comments. Between him and Jasper, I guessed they would manage to stop me moping, at least during the day time.

As soon as I reached my room in the hotel Leah had booked all of us into, I switched on the iPad to talk to Jacob and found him sitting in his yard under a large parasol while rain fell heavily around him. I could see his laptop close by and guessed he was working.

"I'm determined I'm gonna finish this book while you're away," he said. "I only have a couple chapters left and then the proof reading and stuff. Need something to keep me busy or I'm gonna miss you too much."

I grinned back at him through the screen. "I know how you feel. Paul already had to give me a kick up the butt for moping on the plane. Are you going to let me read your book, or do I have to wait until it's on the shelves and buy a copy?"

"You can read the manuscript when you get here," Jacob said. "I have to print it to send to the publisher, so I'll run off two copies."

We talked for over an hour and I thanked God we could at least communicate in this way. I hated not being with him, but it was better than nothing. When we eventually said goodbye I joined the others in Charlie's room for a meal. He had ordered a vast assortment of items from room service and Paul, Jasper, Alice and a couple of others were all there. Again I thought that it would be a couple of weeks, but at least the others would make it bearable.

The filming, as predicted, stayed right on schedule. Each day we would start mid-morning, after I had already spent some time chatting to Jacob over breakfast, and work on through to the end of the afternoon before returning to the hotel. Most days I spent the evening in the company of one or all of the others, letting them take my mind off the ache in my chest until I could return to my room and switch on the iPad again, more often than not indulging in some sexy play with Jacob as we lay on our separate beds, imagining we were together and making ourselves come. A week passed and the second began in the same way, time slowly marching on towards me and the love of my life being together again.

We had just finished a long day of filming, most of the actors unused while Paul and I played out a scene on the Staten Island ferry after our characters had a fight. Martin had walked out of the apartment he shared with Steven - this part having been filmed in the studio in LA - and after wandering through the city, angry and upset, Martin got onto the ferry, but Steven had managed to track him down and jumped onto the vessel just before it moved off. What followed was more of an argument and then some heated making-up kisses, while we were surrounded by a hundred or so extras employed to be the usual passengers on the ferry. Finally it was done and we went back to the hotel to find that Jasper and Alice had been sight-seeing and managed to get themselves photographed smooching at the top of the Empire State Building, a story which would at least take a little of the attention away from me. I was too tired to socialise that evening and instead checked the front desk for messages, took the one small envelope and went up to my room alone.

I stripped out of my clothes and showered first, then donned the hotel bathrobe and threw myself on the bed while I opened the note. All of us had been receiving fan letters and various strange gifts since we had arrived, which wasn't anything unusual. I had received mountains of them at the hotel in LA too. I tore open the envelope and unfolded the sheet of paper to find a bold and mismatched message made from cut-out words from a newspaper, pasted in lines.

_"Cullen, you should be ashamed, flaunting yourself in front of the world. _

_"Decent people do not need your sinful deeds thrusting upon them._

_"Read the word of the Lord and take note..._

_"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. (Lev. 18.22)_

_"If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them. (Lev. 20.13)_

_"You are an abomination. Your disgusting male lover is out of reach - you are not."_

I sat up suddenly, my heart pounding and a thin sheen of sweat breaking out over my skin. I dropped the note onto the mattress and folded my arms, tucking my shaking hands into my armpits. I had received anonymous notes containing insults before on occasion, but nothing like this. It sounded like a threat; perhaps from someone who was close by, watching me; someone who may have seen the filming on the ferry that day.

It was my first instinct to call Jacob and tell him, but I stopped myself. He would worry and probably come racing to New York on the first plane available. He was trying to finish his book and I'd already kept him away from his home for months. I hesitated a moment and then buzzed Paul's room instead. I wanted to talk to somebody and I wasn't so sure Paul was the right person, but right now he was all there was.

"You busy?" I asked.

"Nope."

"Could you come to my room?"

"Sure, give me a minute." He hung up without asking why and I had barely replaced the phone on the bed table and tightened the belt on my robe before he was knocking on the door. I let him in quickly and he looked me up and down with a grin.

"Hope this isn't a booty call; Jake would skin me."

"Paul!"

"Sorry. You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I went to get the letter where it still lay on the bed and handed it to him silently.

"Fuck! Where was this?"

"In an envelope; the concierge gave it to me downstairs."

"Have you told Jake?"

"No, I don't want to worry him. He'll only come racing over here and he has things he needs to do."

"You know it's probably a stupid idle threat, right? I've had this kind of thing. I mean, not exactly this kind of thing, but 'you're shit, hope you die' type of stuff. It's obviously some religious nut trying to scare you."

"They succeeded," I muttered.

"Do you want to report it?"

"Not really. It'll end up in the paper. If they went to the trouble of using cut-out words instead of writing, they probably wore gloves too so it's hardly likely they can be traced."

"Have you had any weird phone calls or anything?" Paul asked.

"No, nothing other than this."

"Do you want company? I mean, if you want someone around overnight, you could stay in my room, or I'll sleep on your couch or something."

"No, you don't have to do that," I said at once. "I just wanted to tell somebody, you know? Like you said, it's probably just an idle threat. Someone who wants to freak me out."

"Don't go anywhere on your own, just in case. Stick with the rest of us. It's only a few more days and we'll be out of here."

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"Except to Charlie's room with me to get dinner. Put some clothes on, he's ordering a feast again."

"I'm not really hungry," I sighed, my stomach churning at the thought of the letter which Paul had now scrunched up into a ball and tossed into the small trash receptacle in the corner of the lounge.

"So have a beer and some company."

I nodded and went into the bedroom to get dressed quickly, knowing I would only sit worrying if I stayed in the room alone. I repeatedly told myself it was nothing; it was pretty rare for anonymous notes to actually turn into anything more, but it didn't really make me feel any better. Some person somewhere in this city hated what I was and thought I should be dead. It was a frightening thought. The day when we would leave New York couldn't come quick enough for me and suddenly missing Jacob wasn't the most important reason.

I barely slept that night. Talking to Jacob on Skype had been difficult as I struggled to appear the same as usual. I made the excuse that I was exhausted and avoided playing with him, sex being the furthest thing from my mind. I found myself constantly checking the door to see if it were locked, glaring at the phone as I expected it to ring and even called the front desk once to ask if there was any more mail for me. The note I received was virtually burning a hole in the bin in the living room and I had even locked the bedroom door to keep it as far from me as possible. I knew it was irrational and it was unlikely that anything more would happen, but I couldn't shake the fear and I almost wished I'd taken Paul up on his offer to stay with me.

The next day I fucked up just about everything I possibly could during filming. I repeatedly forgot my lines, stammered, used the wrong tone, dragged my hands nervously through my hair on set, spilled a drink with shaking hands and glanced behind me when I should have been looking at one or other of my co-stars. I tried to shake it off and concentrate, but I couldn't and every time I messed up, I knew I was just making the whole process last longer, possibly adding another day onto the filming schedule. It didn't make any difference that we had security guys hanging around to ensure the public couldn't get in shot where they weren't wanted; I just felt that eyes were on me and that something would eventually happen.

"Edward, what's with you today?" Jasper asked when we took a break. "Missing Jacob?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Nothing else?"

I shook my head and dropped my face into my hands, elbows resting on my knees, my heart pounding. Jasper shifted from his seat opposite to sit next to me and Paul appeared on my other side and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"Come on, Ed, we have to get these scenes done today or we're gonna be stuck here longer. Nothing will happen; if it does they'll get one of these." He waved a clenched fist in front of my face and I sat up slowly.

"What's going on?" Jasper frowned.

"He got an anonymous letter; some Bible-basher making threats."

"Shit, are you going to report it?" asked Jasper.

"No. I don't want it in the papers. I don't want Jacob to worry. It's probably nothing."

"At least we're not here much longer. Four days..."

"Yeah, unless I keep fucking up," I grimaced.

"You won't. You'll be fine, Ed; think about where you'll be next week instead of dealing with all of this shit," Paul said.

Next week I would be sitting in Jacob's yard with him under the parasol, safe and happy. I sighed heavily and managed a faint smile, determined to get it together and nail the scenes. Nothing would happen, I reminded myself. It was just a letter.

Nothing did happen. I continued to be very wary and Paul, Jasper and Charlie constantly surrounded me both on set and in the hotel and as each day passed I relaxed a little more. Jacob didn't suspect anything was wrong with me other than being over-tired and missing him and it was finally the last day of filming. A restaurant in China Town had been made use of for a meal mine and Paul's characters shared and then it was over. Rosalie's announcement of "It's a wrap," was the most welcome phrase I had ever heard in my life. I had always enjoyed hearing that, every time I played a new role, but this time it signalled the end of my acting career and I felt tears of relief and joy on my face as the car took us all back to the hotel. Jasper and Paul, either side of me, both gave me a hug and began teasing me about how I would be making up for lost time with Jake in just a few more days.

Leah had arrived in New York earlier that day and had set up various interviews and a TV show and my flight back to LA was already arranged. I planned to go back to my house, organise putting it on the market and have all of the personal things I wanted, which were currently in storage, packed up to be shipped to Barbados. Then I would be on a plane to Bridgetown with only the promo tour in a few months' time to undertake before I could leave it all behind.

"I'll check for mail," Paul said, striding ahead of Jasper and me as we walked into the lobby. I felt the same prickle of anxiety I had been feeling the last few days each time I returned and received my fanmail and I hung back while Paul gathered up a pile of envelopes and packages and beckoned to us by jerking his head sideways.

"They must know it's the last day," he said as we rode up to our floor in the elevator. "Most of this lot is for you, Ed."

We all went to my room to sift through the mail, Jasper and Paul helping me open it. By the time I had read three marriage proposals, several requests for dates and a dozen letters saying I was awesome and they wished I wouldn't quit, I felt a little better until Jasper froze with a sheet of paper in his hand and glanced at Paul. I was sitting opposite them and couldn't see what it said, but I knew from their expressions it was another anonymous note.

"What does it say?"

"It's just bullshit, Edward," Jasper said.

"Let me see." I leaned over and plucked the letter from his hand when he hesitated and quickly saw that it was the same as the other one - words cut from newspapers and pasted in rows; passages from the Bible and one line at the bottom which sent a chill down my spine:

_"Eyes are upon you; an opportunity will come."_

"Fuck," I muttered, the paper shaking in my hand. Paul snatched it back and re-read it.

"You need to tell Leah about this," he said.

"I thought you said it was nothing."

"It probably is, but why take chances now, when the movie is finished? I'm surprised Leah didn't get you personal security actually."

"I only ever have them for premiers and things, you know that," I said. "My parents used to insist on them when I was younger, but I hate the restrictions of them watching your every move."

"What restrictions? You barely set foot outside," Paul scoffed. "It's a shame you couldn't have had that buddy of Jake's here - Emmett. At least he's the kind of guy you can hang out with; not like the usual agency stiffs you get."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"You gonna call Leah or shall I?" Paul pressed.

"I will."

Leah's reaction to me telling her about the note was predictable, especially when I mentioned it was the second one.

"What the fuck?" she exclaimed loudly. "Most of these things turn out to be bullshit, but there's always one creep somewhere that means what they say. What does it say exactly? Read it to me."

I read the letter reluctantly, from where it lay on the table, not wanting to touch it again. Leah immediately decided to make some changes to my schedule and said she would make some calls and come back to me. Meanwhile, Paul folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket rather than throw it away, in case anything else happened and it was required for the police. The three of us half-heartedly opened the rest of the mail and then Leah arrived at the door.

"I talked to Rosalie," she said. "You'll do one interview early tomorrow, then the chat show and then you're on a plane out of here; I changed your flight. There'll be a bodyguard here for you in about ninety minutes and he'll stick to you like glue until you get on the plane."

"Oh, Leah," I groaned. "You didn't need to..."

"Yes, I did, Edward, don't be ridiculous," she interrupted. "It could be some anti-gay dick or religious freak saying what they think and nothing more, but it could be more serious. We can't know one way or the other so it's better to err on the side of caution. You'll do the rest of the interviews in LA instead. Paul and Jasper, you'll stay here one more day and then fly back."

My heart was racing and I felt a little sick. Leah going to the extent of hiring security for me made me more anxious than the letter itself and when the bodyguard arrived some time later, advising he would remain with me twenty-four-seven until he had escorted through the airport, I only grew more nervous. Paul stayed in my room until the end of the day and the guard, whose name was Dave, occupied himself by watching my television. Paul and I sat in the bedroom talking until he left and then I lay awake in the huge bed, aware of Dave napping on the couch the other side of the door, worry about the two appearances I had to make the next morning making me toss and turn, longing to feel Jacob's arms around me.

Eventually I must have slept a little, but when I woke my head was pounding and I felt horrible. I ordered breakfast and called Jacob, doing my best to sound positive as I told him I only had to do two interviews before I could go back to LA and that when I spoke to him next I would already be there.

I nibbled at a breakfast muffin without much enthusiasm while Dave dug into everything else and then Paul was at the door to announce that a car was outside to take us to the studios. The first interview was for Paul and me, but the chat show was for several members of the cast, including Jasper and Alice and also Rosalie. Dave insisted on walking next to me, making his role very obvious when we left the hotel. I dived into the car quickly, but I was well aware of a couple of paps snapping away before I was out of sight and I knew that there would be a report in the news later about the fact that I had security with me.

I called Jacob from the studio dressing room, knowing I needed to tell him at least a little of what was going on. He told me it was pouring with rain again and that he was finishing up editing the last few chapters of his book.

"I didn't expect to hear from you right now; I thought you'd be doing interviews," he said then.

"I'm at the studio waiting to be called. I wanted to tell you something." I cleared my throat.

"Sounds serious. They're not keeping you there another week, are they?"

"No, I'll be on the way back this afternoon like I said earlier. I wanted to tell you Leah hired security for me - the paps photographed us coming out of the hotel, so I thought you'd worry if you saw the pictures."

"I'm worried already. Did something happen? Why would she arrange security at this late stage?"

"I...uh...got some stupid anonymous letter, full of anti-gay comments," I said as casually as I could manage. "She thought it better to be safe than sorry."

"Shit!" Jacob growled. "Why didn't you tell me before? How long has this been on your mind?"

"Not long. I'm fine, Jake, don't worry about it," I begged. "Nothing's going to happen. The guard practically follows me to the bathroom. Paul and Jasper are with me almost every minute too."

"How long?" Jacob repeated. "You should have told me. I could have been there."

"A few days. Nothing happened," I repeated. "It's fine, really. A few more hours and I'll be on the plane. I'll call you from the airport when I get through to Departures."

In my efforts to reassure him that there was no problem, I realised that I had made myself feel better too. What could happen in a few hours? The interview was in a closed room with only the interviewer, Paul and camera crew, with my bodyguard hovering out of shot. The chat show, although in front of a live audience, had its own security as well as Dave lurking in the wings. I would be fine.

"Ed! They're ready for us!" Paul said as his head appeared around the door.

I nodded. "I have to go, Jacob, I'll call you in a few hours," I said.

"Alright. Be careful; I don't want anything happening to you. I love you," he finished.

"Love you too. Bye."

The interview was somewhat lengthy, the whole thing taking a little under two hours. Paul and I talked about the movie and then I was asked about the fact that I was leaving. The interviewer had some questions about Jacob too, but I skirted these as skillfully as I could manage. On that aspect, Leah had advised me to talk or not talk depending on how I felt, her guidance only having related to what I should say about 'Chains' and leaving acting.

When it was over I heaved a sigh of relief and Dave escorted Paul and me out to the car, which then drove the three of us to another studio where the chat show was to be recorded. This took longer, but again, nothing happened. I sat between Paul and Jasper on a long couch in front of the audience while the host quizzed all of us along with Rosalie, Alice and Charlie. I was worried again, but did my best to hide it although I couldn't help one or two nervous giggles.

At last it was over and everyone went their separate ways. Rosalie left alone and then Dave escorted me to my car accompanied by Paul, who said he intended to 'lend some extra muscle' until I was checked in at the airport. As the car turned out of the lot, I glanced out of the window, surprised to see two cop cars and a couple of officers standing nearby. My first thought was that somehow the author of the letters had been apprehended trying to enter the studio, but there was no sign of an arrest and in reality the presence of the cops could be for any number of reasons. I sat back in the seat and closed my eyes with a sigh. It was over. All I had left were a handful of appearances in LA and I could go to Jacob.

I spent barely thirty minutes at the hotel; just long enough to pack my belongings and double check that nothing had been left behind. Then Paul and Dave were leading me outside to the waiting car and I was making my last short journey through New York and on to the airport. We were let out in front of the terminal and Paul carried my bags, leaving Dave's hands free, just in case. I checked in and the pair waited with me until I was able to pass through security to Departures. Paul grabbed me in a bearhug at the last moment.

"Don't you dare be a stranger, you fucker," he said. "I want a vacation in Barbados some time soon."

"It's a promise," I said, knowing Jacob wouldn't mind. "I've got your number. Thanks for everything, Paul."

"I might catch up with you in LA before you go; I guess it depends on our schedules, but I'll be in touch."

"Tell Jasper and the others I said goodbye. I'll call him when I get home."

That was it. I headed through the security checks and into Departures, taking a seat in the VIP lounge and repeatedly glancing around me as I waited for my flight to be called. It was over. One more hour and I would be leaving New York behind.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

******Edward's POV**

I repeatedly glanced at the watch Jacob had given me as I sat in the lounge waiting for my flight to be called. Every time someone spoke or shouted or the electronic announcement began, I almost jumped out of my skin and I was convinced that the sender of the letters was still somewhere close by, watching me. The only way he or she would have been able to follow me, would be if they had a plane ticket or worked in the airport, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that something would happen. I longed to call Jacob, but I knew I would sound as anxious as I felt, so I sent him a text instead, telling him I was about to get on the plane to LA. I received a reply a minute later to say he was counting off the hours until I arrived back in Bridgetown.

The announcement came at long last; my flight was on time and first class was boarding. I grabbed my hand luggage and laptop case, pulled out my boarding pass and shoved my dark glasses up onto the top of my head, then strode quickly to the gate, head down.

"Enjoy your flight, Mr Cullen, Sir," the attendant on the gate said as I passed quickly and I gave her a brief nod and forced myself not to run the last few yards onto the plane.

I stowed my luggage, took my seat and fastened my seatbelt, trying to relax and slow my racing heart. Just over six hours and I would be back in LA - just as soon as everyone else was seated and we could take off on time. I changed the time on my watch to LA local time and decided to find something - anything - on the television to watch that would hold my attention for at least a little while. The choices were the second part of Dad's blockbusters and I really didn't want to watch myself with Bella; a children's comedy, a family thriller and one of Jasper's old movies. I chose that - it wasn't something I'd seen before even though he was the third listed and I glued myself to the screen and hung off every word the characters spoke, although I couldn't have repeated what the plot was about afterwards. It took up two hours of the flight and then a meal was being served. I didn't eat, but ordered a stiff drink instead, something I never did while I was flying, but felt in need of this time.

By the time the plane finally touched down at LAX, I was a little the worse for wear and struggling to hide it as I fumbled to get my laptop case strap over my head and dropped my glasses on the floor. Damnit, I was probably going to be pictured in the next day's paper like this.

___'Edward Cullen Arrives Home Drunk - Is The Aftermath of His Recent Revelations Becoming too Much For Him?'_

"Fuck it," I muttered and headed off the plane and into Arrivals. I didn't need to worry about baggage - Leah was having the rest of my things shipped for me and I had asked her to send them to Bridgetown. I kept my head down, my teeth clenched, walking deliberately and trying not to stumble as I emerged into the area where friends and families of the other passengers waited for them and a few people called out my name. I ignored them and hurried slightly and then suddenly, a large, strong hand gripped my arm and my heart almost stopped. I'd been followed! Or maybe he had been in LA all the time!

******Jacob's POV**

I knew Edward was more concerned than he was letting on and I would have been willing to bet the letter was worse than he indicated. He hadn't read it to me, but I could tell by the slight tremble in his voice when he told me that it had shaken him up. The fact that Leah had arranged a security guard for him was proof enough that they were taking it seriously, but I never had been able to understand Edward refusing to have bodyguards with him. He was the biggest star in Hollywood and there were always a handful of psychos who thought their moment of fame would come when they hurt someone wellknown. I paced and worried until I received the text from Edward to say he was about to get on the plane and then I called Emmett.

"Black!" he bellowed in my ear and I held the phone several inches away from my head, grimacing.

"Hey. What are you doing?" I asked.

"Right now? I was about to take a piss."

"Jesus," I muttered. "I mean with work. I know you said you had a couple of enquiries."

"Neither appealed. I'm taking a break," he said. "I earned enough from that Middle East job to keep me going for a couple years at least, on top of what was in the bank. Not that I intend to sit on my ass for two years, but you know..."

"Will you do me a favour?"

"Sure, what?" he answered without hesitation.

"Edward's had some threatening mail. He's on a plane back from NYC right now, probably still worrying that someone's going to do something. Will you meet him?"

"What's his flight number?"

I picked up the notepad I had written it on and recited it to Emmett.

"I'll be there," he said at once. "I'll get my driver to take me."

"You have a driver now? Moving up, aren't we?" I teased.

"Handy for if I want to drink, or make use of the back seat while on the move. Unless I can call Edward's driver?"

"He was in New York and Edward didn't mention him coming back on the same flight."

"Ok, I'll call you when I've got him."

"Thanks, Emmett."

"Don't thank me, just owe me. I need to top up my tan," he replied meaningfully and hung up.

Feeling slightly better, I gave myself something to do, setting up my printer and beginning to print off two copies of my finally finished manuscript. The only thing I hadn't come up with for it yet was a title and I didn't have the first clue what would be suitable. Maybe Edward could help with that; he had wanted to read it.

The day passed slowly; Adanna came and went, leaving me some fresh baking and a mouthwatering scent of lemon cleaning products as usual and I ate some of her fresh bread with leftover steak from the night before. I had read the news and seen pictures of Edward arriving at the studios where his interviews had taken place, although what he and the others actually talked about wasn't yet live. There was another picture on several sites showing him leaving the hotel with a guy of about Emmett's build walking next to him, Edward looking awkward as if he wanted to avoid being photographed.

It was late afternoon when my phone rang, showing Emmett's name and I snatched it up quickly.

"Em?"

"I got Edward," he said. "Frightened the life out of the poor fucker; he thought I was the stalker!" Emmett chuckled and then spoke away from the phone. "Here, have this, talk to Jake."

"Jacob!" Edward spoke into the phone a second later, sounding a touch breathless.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Or I will be when I recover from the scare Emmett gave me."

"I figured you were making light of it; the letter thing," I said.

"I was nervous," he admitted, slurring slightly, indicating he'd been indulging somewhat on the flight, which I couldn't blame him for, given the circumstances. "I didn't want to worry you."

"I can see through you; you ought to know that by now."

"It was some religious freak, quoting fire and brimstone from Leviticus in the Bible. The letters were pretty similar..."

"Letters?" I interrupted. "You said there was one."

"There were two."

"Damnit, Edward!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just knew you'd rush to New York yourself and there was no need. I'm back and I'm fine, now I've gotten over the heart attack Emmett almost gave me."

"Yeah, alright," I sighed. "I just hate the thought of anything happening to you; you're too important to me, babe. I love you."

"I know; I love you too."

"Alright, enough with the sappy stuff, I don't have a sick bag handy!" Emmett said loudly in the background. "Give me the phone, Ed."

Edward said a quick goodbye and then I heard Emmett's voice speaking directly into the phone. "What do you want me to do now? Dump him somewhere or make like I'm his Siamese twin?"

"Emmett, you don't need to do that; I'm only here for a day or two," I heard Edward say.

"Stick around, Emmett," I said. "Just in case. We don't know who this freak is or where he is."

"Sure thing. We're at the car now so he can call you later, ok?"

I barely had time to thank him again before the line went dead and I heaved a sigh of relief. Edward was safe and as much as he might protest about Emmett hanging around, I knew it would make him feel better none the less.

******Edward's POV**

I was enormously relieved by Emmett's presence, even though I'd tried telling both him and Jacob that I didn't need him any more now I was home. There was no way of knowing if the person who had sent the letters was still in New York or if they had followed me and I knew I wouldn't relax completely until I was in Jacob's arms in Barbados. I was certain of one thing however; if anything else happened, I ___would _report it. I had been foolish not to before.

Emmett's car drove us away from the airport and I took out my phone to call an hotel and secure a room for the two nights I planned to need it before I left again.

"Why don't you just stay with me?" Emmett suggested. "My house isn't much, but it has to be better than an hotel, right?"

"Oh, I couldn't impose on you like that," I protested.

"You're already imposing on me; I'm supposed to be taking a break."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," I groaned. I felt my cheeks colouring and glanced at him apologetically.

"I'm joking, Cullen; you'll get used to me eventually," grinned Emmett. "I'm glad to watch over the guy that makes Jake look like he won big at Caesar's Palace. Besides, I'm getting a vacation out of it sometime soon." He winked at me and I relaxed.

"I just feel like people are going to a lot of trouble for me."

"We're supposed to; you're the Golden Boy. So, you want to go to my place first and get settled in, or do you have stuff to do?"

"I should probably go to my house first and sort a few things out," I said. I gave the driver my address, although he probably already knew it and the car turned onto the freeway a few minutes later.

Nothing much had been heard about Bella in the press in the last few weeks and I had no idea whether she would be home or not. She wasn't working, I knew that much and I supposed I could have called her, but I didn't bother. Instead I turned up with Emmett in tow and walked in to find her watching television, her hair scraped into an untidy knot at the back of her head and a bump showing under a cotton dress.

"Edward! I...um...I wasn't expecting you." She smoothed her dress down and fiddled with her hair, no doubt wishing she had on a layer of makeup and a designer outfit.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm ok. At least the morning sickness is over. Sorry...uh...so you're back from New York." She glanced at Emmett and back at me.

"This is Emmett, my bodyguard," I couldn't resist saying.

"How do," Emmett said. Bella ignored him.

"So...um...what can I do for you?" she asked me.

"I'm selling the house," I said bluntly. "I came to pick a few things up that I didn't take before and to let you know I'll be sending an agent in to value it. You can stay, if you want, until it sells and do what you like with the furniture."

"I was hoping I could stay until after the baby comes," she said, frowning.

"I guess that depends on how fast it sells. It might be a good idea for you to start looking for a new place now though, so that you're prepared."

"Alright." She nodded meekly, which surprised me. I had expected more of a protest, but it seemed almost as if she couldn't be bothered to argue. "How long will you be staying?"

"In LA? Only until the day after tomorrow; then I'm leaving for Barbados."

"So you're going to live with him?"

"Yeah."

The conversation didn't continue much longer; we had nothing to say to each other and I went upstairs to gather together the few things I wanted, found the paperwork relating to the house and within an hour, we were on the road again. We went to Emmett's house now and after dinner, which consisted of a vast quantity of Chinese takeout, I went to the room he allocated to me, took a shower and called Jacob again. It was late in Barbados, but he was still up waiting to hear from me.

That night I slept like the dead, not waking until well into the next morning. Emmett hadn't disturbed me and when I went looking for him, I found him working out in a makeshift gym at the back of the house, pumping iron, grunting and groaning and dripping with sweat. I went to help myself to breakfast and responded to a message from Leah about the interviews I had to do that day. Then I called my lawyer and the agent who had arranged my purchase of the house and instructed them to deal with its sale. By the time Emmett's driver collected us to take us to the studio, I had done everything I wanted to do personally and also talked to Jasper on the phone, discovering that he and Paul and the others would be flying back later that day.

I had two interviews and another chat show to do and Emmett lurked as close to me as he could without getting in front of the cameras throughout each of them. I was certain he was bored rigid, hearing me say the same thing over and over, but he refused to budge and stood there with his arms folded like a doorman, unmoving and with his eyes constantly moving this way and that looking for anything suspicious.

Again, nothing happened and by the time we left the studios I had stopped worrying. The person who sent the letters was clearly in New York and I had nothing to fear, at least until I had to undertake the promo tour, which would undoubtedly include a day or two in New York again, although I intended to have security with me for the duration of the trip, regardless of what the press had to say about it. I wondered if Emmett could be persuaded to go on the tour with me. I liked and trusted him and at least he made me laugh.

I had arranged to see Dad that evening and to my surprise he invited me to the house. Again I took Emmett with me, but he insisted on waiting outside in the car, however long it took, rather than make me have to explain his presence and worry my family. My mother wasn't home and I wondered if she was purposefully avoiding me, although Dad told me she didn't know I was visiting and was still at the studio working.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Tomorrow. You will visit, won't you?" I said.

"Of course. I'd like to think that over the past few weeks we've gotten along better..."

"Yeah, we have."

"I'm sorry, Edward, that I didn't treat you more like a son for so long."

"It doesn't matter, it's in the past."

"I found your recent choices difficult to understand to begin with, but I hope you know I support you now, as late in the day as it is. I always liked Jacob, from when I knew him as a teenager, but I let myself be influenced too much by the world we live in...and your mother."

"Do you think she'll ever come around?" I asked.

"I think so. She doesn't want to lose you, you know. She'll be home soon actually; I was hoping you'd get the chance to talk before you go."

Somehow I couldn't imagine my mother having a change of heart. She hated the idea of me being with a man and thought I was making a huge mistake leaving acting and she proved me right when she arrived an hour later. She greeted me pleasantly enough, but it didn't take her long to make her feelings on everything known again.

"No good will come of it," she sighed. "How could you want to be with a...a ___man?_Only months ago you were planning to marry Bella and start a family."

"We've been over this already," I sighed. "It's not as if I never had feelings for him before. I was in love with him when I was eighteen and if you hadn't kept him away from me, maybe I would have been with him these last seven years and I'd never have known Bella, which would have been a blessing."

"How can you say such a thing, after you had almost three happy years together?"

"I never stopped thinking about him, not completely," I said. "And Bella started a family with someone else, so really, what was the point?" I got to my feet quickly. "I'm sorry, Dad, I'm going. Mom, I really hope that one day you'll figure out what's important and accept that what the public thinks is way down on the list of priorities. What does it matter if the world thinks you're amazing, if you hate what you're doing and can't be with someone you love? I'll be in Barbados if you want to talk to me. My cellphone and email will be the same and I'll give Dad the address of the house. I hope that you'll visit and we'll be able to get over this, but you're going to have to find it in yourself to be civil to Jacob."

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said. "Of course you have every right to choose your own career path; I'm only saddened that after twenty years you feel you don't want to continue with it. I just can't...bring myself to think about your...choice of partner. It's unnatural. You know I love you..."

"Well, sometimes you have a funny way of showing it, Mom." I was tempted to blurt out the contents of the letters I'd received, letting her know that someone with similar views had made the last couple of weeks of my life a worrying ordeal, but I held my tongue. I gave Dad a hug and he crushed me in his arms briefly and told me to call and let him know when I reached Jacob's place. Then I stepped away from him and headed for the door.

"For God's sake, Esme, are you just going to let him leave like that?" I heard Dad growl. "Have you no feelings, woman?"

I didn't hear her reply, but I didn't expect her to run after me. I joined Emmett in the car and sat back with a sigh, closing my eyes.

"How did it go?" Emmett asked. I had told him the situation with my parents.

"Dad's fine; Mom...she's as cold as ice. She won't accept me being gay."

"Some people are like that. Even before you said what she was like, I figured she was one of those types who thinks image is more important than anything else."

"Yeah, I guess I just thought that she might love me enough to overlook some things." I swallowed the lump in my throat with difficulty. "I'm just so tired of this, you know? Twenty years...'Don't do this, Edward. Don't say that. Edward. Be careful of what you look like in public', and on and on. I doubt she'll ever change; I just wish I'd done something about it before now."

"Better late than never," Emmett said. "At least you got Jake in the end, right?"

"Yeah." I opened my eyes again and grinned. Only another twenty-four hours to go and I would be with him.

My flight to Bridgetown was the next afternoon and I was disappointed to discover that I wasn't really going to have time to catch up with the others. They would arrive back in LA about four hours before I had to leave for the airport, but Paul called me as soon as they landed to find out where I was and he and Jasper headed over to Emmett's house to see me for an hour before I left. They were exhausted from the endless interviews they had done themselves, having been instructed by Leah to say that my schedule was tight, which was why I had returned to LA early.

I didn't get the opportunity to see Leah, although she called me while I waited at LAX for my flight to Bridgetown and told me she would keep in touch regularly. We would see each other when I returned to LA for the start of my tour and I invited her to visit Jacob and me if she could find some free time.

The past few days seemed to have gone by in a rush when I looked back on it. I had done everything I needed to do, but it seemed almost like I had been swept along and I was convinced I had forgotten something important, even though I knew I hadn't. The house sale was arranged, the things I'd had in storage were to be shipped to Bridgetown, Leah had dealt with the luggage I left in New York and I had seen the people I needed to see. There was nothing left for me to do but get on a plane and enjoy my time until the promo tour, which probably wouldn't be until the early part of next year.

Emmett's car took me to the airport and he stayed with me until I went through security and made my way to the VIP lounge. I hid in the bar behind dark glasses and a baseball cap, knowing my disguise was poor, but for once no one bothered me. The ninety minutes passed quietly and I boarded the plane, sending Jacob a message as I took my seat to let him know I was on my way.

I spent the duration of the flight in a similar state of tension to the last one between New York and LA, only this time it was due to excitement. Again I found myself unable to eat the in-flight meal, but this time I stuck to drinking water, not wanting to stagger into Jacob's arms when I arrived. I didn't expect him to meet me; I was due to land around four o'clock in the morning local time and I intended to get a cab from the airport to his house. Ironically I didn't know the street address although I knew how to get there.

I had only a small case, a piece of hand luggage and my laptop case with me and I waited impatiently for the case to appear on the carousel, glancing around me at the other passengers, most of whom were engrossed in retrieving their own bags, with the except of two or three who stared and whispered. One girl pulled out a cellphone to take a surreptitious photo and I turned towards her, flashing a bright smile which the public rarely got to see. If she'd asked, I would have stood there posing, I was in such a state of happiness and excitement to have finally reached the island I intended to remain on for a very long time, with the exception of the unpleasant interruption of the promo tour.

My case appeared and I grabbed it quickly and headed through Arrivals, my eyes fixed on the door, not even noticing the figure to my left until he stepped in front of me and then I dropped both case and rucksack on the floor either side of me.

"Jacob!"

"Didn't you see me?"

I snatched the dark glasses off of my face and flung my arms around him, regardless of who might be watching. He hugged me tight, his arms almost squeezing the breath out of me, one warm hand on the back of my neck.

"I didn't expect you to be here," I said. "It's the middle of the night."

"You think I could sleep knowing you were on the way here?" Jacob pushed me away a few inches and studied my face. "Are you ok?"

"Never better."

"We have a bit of audience."

"Fuck 'em." I leaned in a little closer and brushed my lips over his, prompting a cheer from two young guys off to one side. I grinned happily. "I missed you so much."

"Me too. Let's go home." Jacob let me go and picked up my case, his free hand grabbing mine to lead me outside to find a cab.

I found it impossible to wipe the smile off my face. I still had the tour to do and the possibility of the religious freak still being out there then, plus the press who would want to follow my every move for a while the way they had with Jacob when he moved out here, but the worst part of it was over and I could at last look forward to doing what I wanted with my life.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

**Jacob's POV**

Edward looked exhausted and although excitement had kept me going until now, I was beginning to feel much the same as we collected my truck from the airport lot and drove the short distance back to my house. I had told Adanna the day before that Edward would be arriving in the early hours of the morning and had given her the day off, although she had done extra baking before she left and filled the refrigerator with fresh groceries.

It was still dark when I parked up beside the house and I went ahead, carrying Edward's case and unlocking the door.

"You didn't bring much," I commented.

"Leah's sending the things I had in New York straight here," he told me. "I arranged for the rest to be shipped over from LA although it's still not a lot - just clothes and personal stuff."

He told me he had put the house up for sale and didn't plan to return to it again, covering his mouth to stifle a yawn as he spoke.

"Let's go to bed," I said at once.

"Jacob, I'm sorry, I won't be much fun, I'm so tired..."

"To sleep," I grinned. "I need to catch up too. Adanna's not coming in today; we can sleep as long as we like and do what we want all day."

Edward's lips twitched up at the corners and I led him into my room where he put his bag and laptop down and slowly undressed, then took a quick shower. I had left the air-con running when I went to the airport so the house was deliciously cool. With the regular storms we'd been having the last few weeks, the air was often humid and made sleeping impossible if I didn't run the units all the time. I stripped off my own clothes and slid into the bed and within minutes Edward joined me and snuggled against me. He felt cool from the shower and I guessed he had run the water cold as I often did myself in this weather. I slid an arm around him and in minutes, both of us slept.

When I woke and glanced at the clock, it was almost midday and I was alone. I sat up and peeked between the slats of the blinds, discovering it was dry and cloudless outside. The house was silent and I rose quickly, went to use the bathroom and put on a pair of swim shorts, guessing Edward must be in the yard or on the beach. His case was lying open on the floor with some things strewn about as if he had searched quickly for something to wear. I headed outside and found him lying on a rug on the lawn, mostly shaded by the parasol, reading my manuscript.

"Hey." I sat down cross-legged next to him. "Is it any good?"

"It's brilliant. This would make a great movie, you know."

"Ah, it's just a bit of fun really," I said.

"I could almost see myself in the role of the investigator," Edward grinned.

"You gave it up, remember?" I said, suddenly unsure. He had hated his life, so I didn't really think he would have second thoughts.

"I'm joking, I just think it's really good." He put the pile of printed papers down and squinted up at me. "I can't believe I'm really here."

"Me neither. I knew you would be, but it's seemed like an endless wait."

"You know when you left LA to come back here? I mean, before I went to New York, not originally."

"Yeah..."

"You said you had this fantasy when I was here before," he dropped his eyes and smirked crookedly. "Care to share it? You promised you would when I got here."

"You are keen."

"I'm curious. And I missed you."

"I missed you too. Move that rug out into the sun while I get some lotion." I sprang to my feet again and hurried indoors, my pulse already quickening. I grabbed the bottle of sun cream and also the lube and returned outside to find Edward lying in the same position, face down on the rug, but in the sun now, his face turned to one side and eyes closed.

"So I started thinking about this when I was sitting on that chair with the laptop and you were lying here reading your lines," I said. "Then I kind of...continued it when I was in my room later."

Edward chuckled quietly. "Did you jerk off over me?"

"More than once," I admitted. "You have no idea how difficult it was for me not to touch you."

His face coloured slightly and I smiled to myself, wondering if he would still blush over things like that when he'd been with me a year, or ten years - probably. I squeezed out some of the lotion into my hand and leaned over, beginning to rub it into his shoulders and back, blood immediately rushing to my groin at the feel of his heated skin under my hands and the thoughts of where this was going to lead. My cock rose in my shorts and pushed against the fabric, obvious to see if Edward should turn his head a little more, but his eyes were still closed, lips parted slightly. I imagined him getting hard too, his erection crushed beneath him the way it had been in my fantasy, until I put my hand there, cupping him and letting him grind against me.

I let out a quiet groan and Edward echoed it after a moment as I stroked my hands down his spine to the low band of his swim trunks, tight across the top of his butt. I tucked my thumbs under it and teased the firm flesh there and he responded by sliding his legs apart, lifting his hips slightly and then lowering them again as if he were freeing his trapped cock. I took my hands off and squeezed out more lotion, beginning to apply it to his legs, one at a time, starting from the back of the knee and working up over his thighs, letting the tips of my fingers trail high enough to brush the edge of his trunks. They were the Speedo type which only just covered everything and each brush led me to less than an inch from his balls. He moaned softly and squirmed against the rug and I let my fingers drift across the shiny blue fabric, stroking behind his balls while I took my other hand off and adjusted myself, palming myself slowly for a moment and feeling my cock leak a little into my shorts.

"Please..." Edward whispered.

I slid my hand lower, caressing his balls and nudging the base of his cock with my fingertips, drawing another low groan from him and I stopped touching myself, not wanting things to be over before they started. Just watching him squirm and hearing him moan was enough to push me dangerously close to losing control and I wanted to continue with the fantasy first. I worked my fingers underneath him, helped by his hips lifting again suddenly and then his cock, tightly restrained by the shorts, was pushing into my palm. I rubbed the tips of my fingers against the head, tracing its shape through the shiny fabric and feeling dampness and cupping my hand around him.

"God, I could come like this," he groaned, thrusting himself firmly against my hand.

"I better stop then," I grinned.

"Don't...feels good."

I left my hand where it was and he rubbed himself harder against it, his hips bucking, the muscles in his butt and thighs flexing. My free hand drifted to the bulge in my shorts again and I stroked myself lightly, wondering if I should just let us both come like this. No; I wanted to act out the rest of what I had imagined those few months ago. I snatched my hand off myself and relaxed the other under him.

"Lift up."

"Damn." He whimpered in protest, but did so and I removed my hand, hooked my fingers into his swim shorts and lowered them, freeing his cock which hung hard and heavy beneath him.

"Maybe we should...go inside," he panted as I removed the garment completely.

"No one can see; the next property is too far away and the hedge is high," I said. "Turn over."

He rolled onto his back quickly, picking up a pair of discarded dark glasses from the rug to shield his eyes. I let my eyes travel from his face, slowly down his body, his skin glistening slightly from the heat, his chest rising and falling quickly, his cock quivering against his belly, the tip wet and oozing pre-cum. I pushed his legs apart and kneeled between them, running my hands lightly up and down his thighs and he clenched his fists at his sides. I took my hands off again and leaned over him, bracing my arms either side of his head and lowering myself to kiss him, running the tip of my tongue along his upper lip and tasting salt before I covered his mouth with mine and plunged my tongue in with one quick movement. He moaned into the kiss, responding heatedly and reaching up to hold onto me as our mouths mashed together. I let my lower body sink slightly, rubbing my still clothed cock against his for a moment, tempted to just keep doing that. I was aching for the contact, for the friction, but I pulled away from him with a sigh and returned to my previous position.

"God, Jake, please," he begged.

"You're so impatient," I teased him.

"It's been weeks. I need you; I need to come," he panted. "Was your fantasy all about torturing me?"

"No," I chuckled, reaching for the lube. "It involved you fucking my mouth."

He groaned again and his hand drifted to his erection, giving it a few firm tugs before I told him to stop.

"Much as I love to see you touch yourself, you'll like this more." I bent over, grasping his cock around the base and lifting it to capture the head in my mouth, swirling my tongue around and dipping into the slit, tasting the muskiness of pre-cum and making him buck and curse, attempting to thrust upwards into my throat. I pushed him down and lowered my head slowly, taking more and more of him in until my nose brushed the neatly trimmed hair surrounding his organ. He moaned and shuddered, pulling his knees up either side of me and continuing to attempt to buck under me. I coated my index and middle fingers in lube quickly and reached down, feeling for his hole and stroking around it, pushing gently at the puckered entrance.

"Please...need you in me..." he begged.

It had been a few weeks, but I knew he wasn't out of practise. More than once when we had played together on our iPads, he had pushed two and even three fingers into his ass and fucked himself for me and now I slid one finger in quickly without hesitation, immediately feeling his hot tightness gripping the digit.

"God...so close...more..." His hands slid into my hair, holding my head as I began to bob up and down, my other hand releasing his hip and letting him thrust upwards, the head of his cock repeatedly bumping my throat. I added a second finger and pushed them in and out a few times, reaching deeper each time and then curling upwards, searching for his prostate. I found it quickly and massaged it firmly, effectively pushing the button that released his orgasm.

"Fuck! Coming!" he cried out and I felt his cock spill into my mouth and throat. I swallowed around him and slowly withdrew my fingers, raising my head until only his tip remained in my mouth, sucking the last drops from him. He lay there gasping and muttering, his knees falling outwards towards the rug, his hands dropping to his sides. I let him slip from my mouth and leaned over him again, bending to touch my lips to his. His tongue dipped into my mouth, tasting himself and his hand stroked lightly over my cock as it fought against the restraint of my shorts. I drew away quickly and sat back on my heels, pulling him up.

"Let's go inside."

Edward grabbed his trunks and the lube and rose slowly, still breathless, and followed me into the house. The bedroom was still cool and I quickly discarded my shorts and tossed them into a corner, grasping my erection in relief and giving it a few slow pumps as I waited for Edward.

"God, it's not going to take me long," I muttered, releasing myself quickly.

"Don't waste any more time then," Edward grinned, rifling through the drawer beside the bed until he found condoms and quickly ripping one open. He was still half hard and as he rolled the rubber onto my erection, he stiffened more. I reached for the lube, but it was already in his other hand and I kneeled in front of him, watching eagerly as he coated my member in it and then paused to cup and stroke my balls with slick fingers. I groaned and shuddered, grabbing his neck and drawing him into a somewhat clumsy and messy kiss, our teeth colliding, lips crushing each other's, tongues thrusting together. After a moment Edward pulled away again and lay back, spreading his knees apart and holding them against his chest, his hole exposed to me, pink and slightly stretched from my fingers, glistening with lube.

"You sure you're ready?"

"Yeah."

I gripped the base of my cock, aiming it at his entrance and pushing the head gently against him, watching as it gradually disappeared into his body. Immediately I felt his tight heat surrounding me and I held still, glancing up at his face before I inched forwards a little more. He opened his eyes and looked at me, the pupils dilated with his lust, his lips swollen from my kisses and parted as he continued to breathe heavily. I drew back again until only my tip remained inside him and then thrust in smoothly as he breathed out, burying half of my length inside him.

"God...yes!" He let go of his knees and lifted his feet to my shoulders instead, grasping his cock in one hand and stroking it slowly.

Again I pulled back before plunging deeper, seating myself in him fully and then holding still as his face gave away sudden discomfort.

"Shall I stop?"

"No, just give me a minute. You're bigger than my fingers." He chuckled breathlessly.

I held still, desperate to just give in and fuck him, waiting for a long moment until he was ready for more.

"Ok," he whispered and I began to move again, sliding in and out of him with long slow thrusts, my eyes down, watching myself pumping into him, the sight only serving to push me faster towards orgasm. Edward squirmed beneath me, his legs trembling, hand working his own cock quickly, his back arching up each time my shaft dragged over his prostate.

"So close..." I panted.

"Keep going...harder...I'm gonna come again."

I leaned forward and braced my hands on the wall, bending Edward almost double beneath me as I began to ram myself harder into his body, my eyes now fixed on his face, his head thrown back, jaw slack, his mouth open panting and grunting and beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I was struggling to stop myself coming, but I held on determinedly, glancing down at Edward's hand flying over his cock, feeling him tighten slightly around me.

"That's it...come for me...let me feel it," I panted.

He let go with a yell, his ass clenching tighter around me, a thin stream of cum jetting onto his chest and then stopping abruptly as if it was all he had left in him. His hand stopped moving and I shoved myself deep one last time and filled the condom with my release. Panting and shaking, I slowly sat back on my heels again and slipped from him, lowering his legs back onto the mattress either side of me.

"That was so good," he gasped, reaching out to me. "Come here."

I collapsed at his side, draping one arm across him and placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too. You're everything I always wanted."

We lay there catching our breath, our hot bodies gradually cooling under the air-con and then I reluctantly moved away from him and sat up. "I need a shower; and food."

"Me too."

We spent the rest of the day relaxing, taking a swim in the sea and sitting in the yard beneath the parasol, eating one of the prepared meals Adanna had left for us. It wasn't until the evening that I realised we had an audience on the street and I thought it probably hadn't been too wise to start having sex in the yard after all. It was likely we had gotten away with it as they had only just made themselves known, but it only took one tenacious pap with a telephoto lens and you were fucked and not in the pleasurable sense of the word.

They didn't venture up the driveway to the house, but I could see them lurking out there when I looked out the front windows, several hired vehicles parked up at the side of the road. I had expected it of course; they had been a nuisance to me for a while when I left Hollywood behind and Edward was a somewhat bigger star than I had been.

"I'm sorry," he groaned as he peered out of the window with me.

"Don't be, I knew this would happen. Better keep our hands off each other in the yard though, from now on. I wasn't thinking earlier. They're bound to find their way onto the beach eventually. The strip directly behind the house and a couple hundred yards each way is private, but they can watch from a distance or go out on a boat."

"Shit." Edward's face coloured and he was no doubt picturing himself with his cock in my mouth being photographed, just as I was.

"The best way to make them back off is to go out there and give them what they want," I said, knowing he would hate the idea.

"I suppose." He sighed heavily.

"You don't have to," I added. "You make your own decisions from now on..."

"No, like you said, they'll back off for a while if they get something. I'll do it."

_"We'll _do it," I corrected with a grin.

We changed clothes, me putting on cargo shorts and a wife-beater and Edward, a short-sleeved shirt and cut-offs. We shoved our feet into sneakers and Edward donned his dark glasses before I opened the front door. The instant we stepped outside, cameras were clicking and whirring, audible even from down the drive and across the street.

"Hey, guys! Gonna come over here for a few close-ups?" one of them called out.

Edward took a deep breath and began to stride purposefully down the drive towards them and I followed quickly. We didn't cross the street, but remained by my gates, letting them snap away to their hearts' content. Edward even removed the glasses and tucked them into the pocket of his shirt, treating them to one of his crooked grins and I draped an arm around his shoulders. Most of them were men and women we recognised and I spotted Seth Clearwater amongst them. He had a microphone with him and was in the process of setting up with a colleague, no doubt intending to try to get an interview.

"Hey, Seth!" Edward called out suddenly.

Grinning, the young journo jogged across the road instantly, narrowly escaping being run down by the Experience as one hurtled by, honking loudly, Reggae music blasting from the windows.

"Jeez, man, you have a death wish?" Seth's partner called out.

"Gonna give me an exclusive, Edward?" Seth beamed.

"You're wasting your time," Edward said coolly. "You can get all the photos you want right now, but if you want to talk to me, call your sister."

Seth's face fell. "Aww, come on, Edward, just a few words for the mag. How are you enjoying your first day here?"

"I said no," Edward responded firmly. "I'll talk to Leah tomorrow and let her know I'll be willing to do one or two interviews, but you'll arrange it through her and pay the going rate. That's all for now. Come on, Jacob." He grabbed my hand and turned to head back to the house and in a few seconds we were indoors. "I'll actually call Leah now," he said. "I forgot it's still early there. Oh, shit!"

"What's wrong?" I glanced at his alarmed face.

"I knew I'd forgotten something! I haven't talked to Marcus or my housekeeper, Bridget. I mean, _at all._ I left Marcus in New York - I know he was flying back with the others and the arrangement with Bridget was that she'd stay on until the house sold and look after Bella, but I should have talked to her."

"I'm sure they'll understand, just call them now," I said.

"Yeah."

I went to get some cold drinks while Edward called Leah, hearing him tell her that he would be willing to do a few interviews if she wanted to arrange them. Next he called Marcus and apologised for just taking off without a word. He advised Marcus that he would receive decent severance pay and that he should also have Edward's Limo as a gift, since he would no longer have a use for it. The man apparently protested at this, but Edward insisted and ended the call to tell me that Marcus had received an offer to be Paul's driver and was considering taking it up, but with his own Limo and the extra money he also had the option of setting himself up as a driver whose services could be booked by anyone.

Edward then talked to Bridget and asked her to stay on until Bella moved out. He intended to give her severance pay too and she delightedly reported that she had intended to retire when Edward no longer needed her. She would use some of the money to take herself and her husband travelling while they were still young enough to enjoy it. With the few loose ends tied up, he relaxed again and we went out to sit on the beach for a while as the sun went down.

I wondered what Edward would want to do in the future. He had only turned twenty-six years old that year and I couldn't imagine him wanting to simply idle away the rest of his life the way I was doing, if you didn't count writing a book. He would eventually get bored and I asked him about it as we sat there watching the last orange glow slip from the sky beyond the horizon.

"I haven't thought about what I want to do yet," he said. "For now, fuck all." He grinned as he said this. "I still have the tour to get through. Once that's done, then I'll think about it. Maybe I could run a business; you know, something on the internet. Or write, like you. I don't know, I guess I could do anything I wanted. I won't be doing anything that has me in the public eye again though, I know that for sure. Once they get tired of chasing after me, I won't be doing anything to draw attention to myself again. What do you want to do?"

"I always thought I'd like to travel," I said. "I know that's weird; we've both been all over the world, filming on location, tours and premiers, but what have we really seen of all of those countries? Hardly anything. I always thought I'd like to explore London properly, go to the top of the Eiffel tour, go diving on the Great Barrier Reef, go on a safari in Africa...stuff like that. We could do all of that together if you liked the idea."

"I love the idea!" Edward said at once. "I always wanted to explore those places too. I used to have a picture of the Great Wall of China when I was a kid and I wanted to go there. You can see it from space; did you know that?"

"Yeah, I know," I grinned. "Sounds like a plan. You and me, world explorers. Maybe my next book could be a travel log or something."

We continued chatting about it for a while in the darkness; planning our lives when they could properly start in just a few more months from now.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't ever remember being as happy as I was now. There was no pressure for me to decide on a new movie, sign a contract, make an appearance; no sneaking out of my own house if I wanted to go anywhere without the paparazzi chasing after me; no need to watch what I did or said in case it upset my parents or made me look bad in the press. The first couple of weeks I had agreed to a fair amount of interviews, just to get the press off my back and Jacob's, and even doing those hadn't bothered me because when they over, I simply returned to the villa and to him and our own little private space. The press had mostly been persuaded that if they contacted Leah, I would be happy to meet them in Bridgetown for a final interview and photos and although one or two photographers lurked outside the house every so often in the hopes of getting some candid shots of us, most of them quickly left us alone when they began to get what they wanted. This was helped by a couple of Jacob's neighbours who took exception to the narrow road being obstructed by vehicles and people standing around with cameras. Barbados was very different from LA and a few choice words and a hint of a threat worked wonders. The police wouldn't give two hoots if a 'foreign' journalist complained about a bloody nose as a result of being a nuisance to the locals.

I loved living with Jacob. It wouldn't really have mattered where we were, but his modest two-bedroom house by the beach was perfect. He had asked once if I would like to look for a bigger house, perhaps with a pool, that we would choose together or have built, but I didn't see the need. The last thing I wanted was another large, pretentious property that would draw attention and feel like a show house instead of a home and when my belongings arrived, Jacob made space in his closet and drawers for my clothes and anything else went into the second bedroom.

We didn't do a great deal in those first few weeks. Jacob sent his manuscript off to the publishers and once I had talked to more than a dozen newspapers and magazines, we simply enjoyed being together and just being ourselves. We explored the island, by truck and on foot; Jacob taught me to surf, which I was completely useless at, eventually managing to stay on the board for all of ten seconds; we went out on the boat, sometimes for two or three days at a time and I eventually picked up a healthy tan for probably the first time in my life. I had never really had the time to lie out in the yard in LA and the few times I tried it, my picture had appeared in the paper the next day, looking white and sickly, as some determined photographers took shots of me from the top of other buildings or by climbing trees. The eight foot high wall around the back of the house hadn't offered much protection although Bella had regularly taken advantage of this, posing casually on a sun lounger in a designer swimsuit and Ray Bans, holding one of the latest bestselling novels for effect, even though she hated to read. It amused me now to think about how shallow she was. A lot of it had gone unnoticed by me at the time.

My house sold very quickly; within a month of it going on the market, my agent called to tell me I'd had an offer for fifty thousand under the asking price and I accepted it immediately. Another month and the money was in my account, while Bella appeared in the press bemoaning the fact that she had been forced to rent a house and that she thought I was somewhat unfeeling to have turned her out while she was pregnant. The public response was that she was somewhat unfeeling to be having someone else's baby and expecting me to provide her with accommodation.

Sam Uley was making a new movie, having secured a starring role after the interest in him garnered by Bella, and 'a source' said that he was in touch with her in order to check on the baby's progress. He continued to appear as a pretty down to earth character when interviewed and stated several times that although he had no time for Bella, he intended to make sure his child was well provided for.

We had an abundance of visitors during the next few weeks. Initially we were left alone and calls and emails from Paul and Emmett and Dad indicated that they intended to leave us alone to enjoy our privacy at first. Emmett was then the first visitor, taking full advantage of Jacob's offer of a vacation and moving in for ten days although he spent more nights in various girls' hotel rooms than he did at the house, finding a different one every other day to entertain him. On the last day of his visit, I spoke to him while Jacob was in the shower.

"I wanted to ask you a favour," I began.

"Another one? Needy, aren't you, Cullen?" he teased. I was used to him by now and just grinned.

"You know this tour I have to do..."

"Let me guess; you require to retain my services as bodyguard."

"Would you mind?"

"Jake already asked me," he said and winked. "It's no problem. I'm not taking any other jobs on for a while, so just call me when you know the date and the flight you're coming in on and I'll meet you. That religious freak won't know what hit him if he makes himself known."

"Thanks." I sighed with relief. I felt safe in Barbados with Jacob and going back to LA didn't really worry me too much, but the tour would last around three weeks, including New York, where I was convinced the sender of the letters would be waiting for another chance to perhaps carry out the threat to find an opportunity to hurt me in some way.

"Don't mention it."

"I'll pay the going rate, of course," I added quickly. "What is that, by the way?"

"Don't you know?"

"Leah always handled things like that. I don't even know what my driver cost; only what I paid him when I left."

"Jeez, are you sure you actually have any money? Accountants and lawyers are all leeches," Emmett grimaced. "The guy's probably been paying himself a fortune. I cost two grand a day for twenty-four-seven protection, for a star like you or some important politician type that I might have to put my life on the line for. Plus accommodation wherever."

My eyes widened and I quickly understood why Emmett could spend so much time doing what he wanted and only take jobs he felt like doing.

"I can do you a discount; you know, if your accountant left you high and dry," he joked.

"Jerk," I grinned. "I'll let you know the date as soon as Leah tells me. It's probably going to be right after Christmas. She'll book all the flights and hotel rooms."

Two weeks after Emmett left, Jasper and Alice arrived for a few days. They had become inseparable and were currently the hottest gossip in Hollywood. Unlike me, they revelled in the attention and had done several photo shoots together, appearing all loved up and had even been dubbed the new 'Golden Couple'. They stayed with us five days and then Paul came for a week. As much as Jacob and I enjoyed being alone together, having our friends visit just added to it. Other than Jasper, who I'd lost touch with for a while before making the last movie, I'd never really had proper friends and Emmett and Paul both became close ones.

Jacob took Paul to the airport when he left for his early morning flight and I sat in the yard, sipping coffee and checking the latest news. For once I didn't even get a mention. Jasper and Alice were on the front page at some party and below this was an article that made me choke on my coffee and splutter all over the keyboard.

_'Hollywood Stars Carlisle and Esme Cullen Separate.'_

"What the fuck?" I exclaimed aloud. My parents split and I didn't know anything about it! I had talked to Dad on the phone at least once a week and he had never hinted at this; in fact he had barely talked to me at all about Mom, saying only that she was 'the same as usual' and that he wished things could have been different.

I scrolled down to a picture of Dad loading a suitcase into the back of a car in front of their house. He was uncharacteristically dressed in jeans, shirt and boots and was wearing dark glasses, his face visibly strained. I read the article which stated 'a source', as usual, had indicated the pair had parted due to irreconcileable differences and that Carlisle was living in an hotel for the moment, while looking for a house to rent in the short term. Neither of my parents had been available for comment on the situation, although the Globe speculated on various reasons for the split, including incompatible working schedules and disagreements over my change in both career and lifestyle. I felt a little sick and wondered if this could be the reason. Had my parents fought over me? Dad had made it pretty clear what he thought of Mom's attitude towards me the last time I saw them both together.

I snatched up my phone and called Dad's cell, only realising as it began to ring that it was six-thirty in the morning in LA. He answered after a moment, however, and didn't sound as if he'd been asleep.

"Hello, Edward. Are you ok? It's early."

"I'm fine, but I just read the Globe online. You split with Mom?"

"Uh...well, it's probably just temporary, but we'll see."

"What happened? Why didn't you tell me?" I cried.

"I was going to, I guess things have been a little hectic here."

"Is it because of me?"

"Edward...don't think that. Your mother and I have been having some problems for a while now. Her attitude regarding you has made things somewhat more strained, I admit, but it wasn't the only reason."

"I'm sorry," I groaned. "I don't want to come between you."

"You're not. I still love your mother, but we need some time apart right now. Maybe we can work it out, but I don't want you worrying about it. I'm fine and you know what the press is like. Tomorrow's issue will say we're getting a divorce."

"Are you?" I gasped.

"No, of course not."

"Dad, do you want to come visit?" I asked, my mind whirling. I couldn't really believe my parents had separated after so many years and all I could think about was that it was Mom's attitude over me that had put the nail in the coffin. They probably would have been able to work through any other issues they had.

"Well..."

"You finished your current movie, didn't you?" I prompted.

"Yes, I'm not starting anything else until the New Year."

"Then come," I begged. "Come for Christmas."

"I'm not so sure about that. What about Jacob?"

"Sorry," I sighed. "I thought you were ok with us now. I mean, we can book a good hotel for you if you'd find it awkward."

"That's not what I meant, Edward. Won't Jacob mind me imposing on you? The house isn't large, is it?"

"Well, no, but the guest room is a decent size and it's en suite. Jacob would be happy to have you stay, we were only talking about it a few days ago."

"If you're sure, then yes, I'd be happy to come," Dad said, much to my surprise.

"Really? Awesome!" I exclaimed, aware that I sounded like an excited kid. Dad chuckled.

"I'll let you know when I've arranged a flight. Is Jacob there? Perhaps I could have a word with him?"

"No, we had Paul Lahote visiting, Jacob's taken him to the airport."

"Well, I guess I'll talk to him soon then."

I hung up a moment later, delighted that Dad had agreed to visit over Christmas, but still shocked that he and Mom were separated. I considered calling her for a few minutes, but then decided against it. It was down to her to approach me after the way she'd spoken to me previously and I had a feeling she wasn't going to do that. She had said she loved me, but if she was willing to shun me rather than accept who I was, I wondered whether I really meant that much to her.

Jacob was surprised, but pleased to hear that Dad had agreed to visit over Christmas. We hadn't discussed inviting him for the holidays as such, but he had no problem with me having done it. He was just as surprised as I when I told him Dad had moved out of home and that his separation from Mom was in the press.

Christmas was now only a few weeks away and Jacob and I went into town separately to do some shopping. We bought each other small inexpensive personal items rather than foolishly over-priced things that we may have done in LA and I chose a brightly coloured summer shirt for Dad and a pair of loafers. I doubted he would wear the shirt, but it would probably make him laugh.

Jacob returned from his trip with a box of decorations and lights, saying that he didn't possess any since he hadn't bothered to decorate the house for Christmas when he lived alone, or even have a special meal. This year was different and Adanna had agreed to work a few hours in the morning to cook us a feast before going to spend the rest of the day with her daughter's family.

Dad called again and talked to Jacob, letting him know he would be arriving on December twenty-second and had an open-ended ticket, so he could fly back whenever we wanted rid of him. He seemed a different person lately, much more laid back than I'd ever seen him. When he finally arrived, he was wearing casual clothes and looked like any regular guy going on vacation. He spent more than a week with us, planning to return on January second, a week before he started work on his next movie.

The holiday was probably the best I could remember. I had enjoyed them when I was a kid, of course, more keen for the gifts under the tree than anything else, but my parents had always been stiff and careful, inviting various guests to the house and I had felt that I had to restrain myself rather than just play and have fun like any other kid. This year although Mom was missing, I had the two people with me that I loved the most and I continued to be surprised at how relaxed Dad was. I never saw him wear anything smarter than slacks and an open-necked shirt and he happily wore the bright shirt I gave him when Jacob took us out on the boat. He didn't talk about Mom, although he did call her on Christmas Day to check that she was alright and reported to me that she was spending the day with some friends. She hadn't asked to speak to me and I felt pretty hurt; it seemed that she was washing her hands of me completely. However, in the evening she called my cellphone to wish me a Merry Christmas and say that she was sorry we couldn't all have been together. Despite this, she didn't ask to see me when I briefly returned to LA, or suggest visiting Barbados and the little hope I had felt when I received her call quickly faded. I wondered if she even cared that she was pushing away both her husband and her son with her cold attitude.

I received an email from Leah over the holidays with my tour schedule in it and was surprised to learn that the appearances had been arranged in reverse of the usual route. I would start in LA of course, but then head out to Australia, then Europe, Canada and finally New York. My heart sank as I read that I would be there for four days and because it was last on the list, I was going to spend the rest of the tour worrying about it. I hadn't really thought about what might wait for me there over the holidays, but now I had the schedule in black and white, all I could think about was the last line of the second letter.

_'Eyes are upon you; an opportunity will come.'_

Was he still out there waiting? Was he actually in New York or somewhere else? Nothing had happened when I returned to LA, so I had to assume it was New York and even though I would have Emmett shadowing my every move, it still worried me and on New Year's Day I discovered that it wouldn't just be the last four days I had to worry about, but the whole tour.

I opened up my email account to send out some happy New Year messages to Paul and Jasper and Leah and a few others and when I checked my inbox, the first thing I saw was a message from an unknown address, the subject header in capital letters making my heart stutter and my palms sweat.

_'ELEVEN DAYS.'_

It was eleven days until I flew to LA.

"Fuck," I muttered, clicking on the message to open it with a shaky hand. I wasn't sure I actually wanted to read it, but I did so anyway, knowing immediately it was from him before I read any further.

_'Cullen, enjoy the rest of your time in your den of sin. The time has come for retribution for your continuing acts against God. You will learn to stay on the right path, or Hell awaits you._

_'Los Angeles, Sydney, Canberra, Rome, Berlin, Paris, London, Ottawa, Montreal, Chicago, New York. Who knows where?'_

It was the list of cities I was to visit in the exact order Leah had given me and I slammed the laptop lid down, shaking, and dropped my head into my hands. Who the hell was doing this? Why were they doing this? Just because of who I was? Because I was famous and gay? Weren't there others...?

"Edward, what's wrong?"

Jacob and Dad both came into the kitchen and I let out a groan and shook my head. Jacob appeared next to the stool I was sitting on and wrapped both arms around me, regardless of Dad and I clutched his hand where it lay on my chest.

"I got an email...from that guy," I whispered.

"What guy? What's going on?" Dad asked.

"He had a couple of threatening letters in New York; some religious creep," Jacob said.

Dad opened the computer again and read the message and I knew Jacob was doing the same over my shoulder as he cursed under his breath and hugged me tighter.

"You need to report this," Dad said at once. "Did you before?"

"No."

"Why on earth not? It might just be someone thinking they can scare you - we all get those - but it could be serious. Have you got a bodyguard for the tour?"

"Yes, Emmett McCarty's going with me," I confirmed. "He's a friend of Jacob's."

"I know of him," Dad nodded. "He was injured a few months back protecting the Secretary of Defence."

"He's good; one of the best," Jacob said.

"Armed?"

"Yeah."

I looked up quickly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean he carries a gun, Edward, what do you think?"

"Fuck," I muttered and shuddered. The thought of Emmett potentially killing someone to keep me safe was alarming. Up until now, I hadn't really thought it would come to anything and I had to wonder if Emmett had a gun under his clothes somewhere when I was with him in LA; probably. It made the whole thing seem even more frightening and I wished I could just cancel the tour and forget about it, but I knew I couldn't let the world down. This was the last time they would see me officially and I had a lot of obligations to fulfill as part of the contract for the movie.

I barely slept that night, tossing and turning beside Jacob with my heart racing and my stomach a knot of nerves. I still had eleven days to worry about things and then almost three weeks of wondering. I fully intended to report the situation to the cops in LA and New York the next day, but I knew they wouldn't be able to do anything. Unless something physically happened, they had nothing to go on. What did I have other than an email which probably couldn't be traced, which could have come from anywhere in the world?

Dad took a cab back to the airport the next morning, telling me to let him know which hotel I would be staying in when I returned to LA so that he could see me. He would be working on his own movie then, but it would be early days and as director, he could decide to take time out to see his son. I was sad to see him leave, but at the same time happy that things had gone so well over Christmas. The few times when Jacob had hugged me or held my hand in front of him hadn't appeared to bother him at all and on one occasion he had told me that he was pleased to see me so happy. It meant a lot to have his support at long last and I only wished Mom would follow in his footsteps.

As predicted, the police told me that they couldn't do anything unless I was actually approached physically and that by having a bodyguard with me, I was doing as much as I could to protect myself. I called Emmett to tell him about the email and his response was that I shouldn't let myself stress too much about it; he had no intention of letting me out of his sight for the duration of the tour, unless I was either taking a shit or jerking off on Skype for Jacob.

"Jesus, Emmett," I groaned, my face burning and his roar of laughter almost deafened me.

"Don't try to deny it," he chuckled. "But seriously...nothing's gonna happen to you; I won't let it. Trust me."

"I do," I said, but it didn't stop me worrying.

The next ten days went by all too quickly and I became more and more anxious as time went on. By now I had told Leah about the email and she had confirmed that each of the hotels I would stay in were two-bedroom suites so that Emmett could be close by all the time. I had already given her instructions to arrange a private jet so that I didn't have to travel on commercial flights and this would make things easier with regard to Emmett being armed. The jet would also transport Rosalie, Paul, Jasper, Alice, Charlie and some of the other cast including the teenager who had played my character's younger self and his father. There was no way I would have kept the jet for my sole use and expected the others to travel in the usual way - that would be the sort of thing my mother would do, I thought wrily.

Finally the day came for me to leave Bridgetown and I was dreading it. I had a small case containing some clothes and a piece of hand luggage with my iPad in it. Leah would be providing various suits and outfits for me to wear on camera, all of which would be stored on the plane along with wardrobe for the other cast members and Rosalie. Jacob drove me to Grantley Adams and waited with me until I had to pass through security to Departures and I struggled not to let on how scared I was. Being apart for him for three weeks again was hard enough, but all I could think about at that moment was that I might not come back. I had no doubt Emmett would die protecting me if he had to, but I didn't know what was waiting for me out there. It could be nothing at all except for someone trying to scare me, or it could be someone who wanted to see me dead. I clung to Jacob until the last possible second, fighting back tears determinedly and trying to draw strength from the feel of his arms around me, his lips close to my ear whispering that he loved me and that everything would be alright.

At last I pulled away and picked up the backpack at my feet, turned away from him and headed for the security gate. Three weeks and it seemed like a lifetime.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

**Edward's POV**

I sat next to Paul and opposite Emmett on the plane. It was luxurious and laid out more like a lounge room than a plane and came with an attendant to serve us drinks and food. I gazed out of the window and vaguely listened to Paul and Emmett talk, wondering if maybe I should have taken Jacob up on his offer after all. I'd been thinking that for the past three days in LA. I was dreading the rest of tour and Jacob had spent some time before I left Barbados trying to convince me that he should come with me. I almost said yes immediately, but when I thought about the letters and the email, I determinedly refused, not wanting to put him at risk too. Since our relationship had become public, he had been written about a lot in the press and I wouldn't have put it past whoever had threatened me to consider Jacob just as much an offence as he did me, which meant I would have something else to worry about. He wouldn't of course make public appearances with me, but he would have been in the cars, in the hotels, at the studios and if anything happened to him I never would have forgiven myself. I felt as if it were my problem to deal with and as much as I longed to have Jacob with me for my own comfort, I knew I had to get through the next two and a half weeks on my own.

"Ed, you alright?" Paul touched my arm and I jumped, realising I had bitten into my lip so hard I had drawn blood.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm just not looking forward to the rest of this."

"Much as I don't want anything happening, I kind of hope I'm gonna get the chance to hurt that fucker!" Emmett growled under his breath. "You shouldn't have to be scared like this."

"Do you really think he might do something?" Paul asked.

"I don't know. He's got a list of the cities I'm going to be in. I don't know if he's just trying to scare me or if it's more serious."

"Couldn't he get that from the world press though? I know the full schedule's not in our own papers, but the other countries will be announcing when you're going to be there. It won't be difficult to find out something like that if you have a little time to spend on the net."

"Yeah, I guess," I sighed. The simple fact had slipped past me and I'd begun to question whether someone connected to the movie could be responsible, which was a more frightening thought than it being some random stranger. "How do you think they could have gotten my email address?"

"I don't know," Paul shrugged. "I know nothing about technology. A hacker, maybe? Someone who knows someone who knows you?"

"The only people who have my email are people I trust...I think." I wracked my brains, trying to remember who I'd given it to besides Jacob, Paul, Jasper, Leah, Rosalie and Dad. The agent selling my house, my lawyer, my accountant, my doctor...a few more than I realised. Seth Clearwater had managed to find out what my email was one time after I'd changed it and also my phone number. He was a bit of a creep, but somehow I hadn't suspected him of being behind this. His ability to find out information about me did show me that somebody else could do it just as easily, however.

"We're just going to have to take it one day at a time and deal with what comes," Emmett said, adjusting the jacket he was wearing, despite the oppressive heat we had left behind in LA. I knew he was wearing it to hide the gun tucked into the holster beneath his left arm. I'd seen the thing once when he cleaned it in the hotel room and shuddered. I didn't like weapons, but it was a necessity and when Dad had come to see me for a few hours between appearances, he'd spoken to Emmett to make sure he was carrying. "No one's going to get near you, Edward, I'll make sure of it," he added.

The journey to Australia seemed endless. I managed to relax a little for the rest of the flight and slept for a while and when I opened my eyes Paul was gone from his seat, although Emmett was still there, lounging against the window and looking sideways at something. He grinned at me as I straightened up and smoothed down my rumpled shirt.

"What were you looking at?" I turned my head and the first thing my eyes landed on was Rosalie and Charlie, nibbling snacks and chatting. Rosalie was wearing a prim silk blouse and knee length fitted skirt, legs crossed, showing a hint of thigh. Emmett chuckled.

"Your director's hot stuff," he said in a low voice.

"Sshh," I hissed. "You're supposed to be watching me, remember."

"Yeah, I am, but...I dunno...sue me...she has better legs."

"Aren't you ever going to settle down, Emmett?" I asked.

"Not if I can help it." He glanced at Rosalie again and raised an eyebrow. "Nothing wrong with dabbling."

"Don't you dare."

"Not even if she likes me? I mean, not on the tour, obviously, I'm working, but when you head off back to lover boy in Barbados, what's to stop me then, huh?"

"She'd crush you like a bug, Em," I smirked. "She's a tough woman."

"I like a challenge."

A couple hours later and we were in Sydney. Three cars waited for us once we had passed through security and I was whisked into the first one by Emmett before I could blink and almost before any members of the public had spotted me. A handful of people turned to look and one shouted out my name and then the door slammed and the car pulled away from the kerb with a slight screech of tyres and we were away. It was just one in a long list of escapes I would need to make over the next couple of weeks and I sank back into the seat and closed my eyes as we travelled to the hotel. I couldn't wait for it all to be over.

Sydney was a rush of interviews and appearances, including one press conference which I found the worst part of it. If I'd had to do it on my own, I probably would have bailed, but with Paul one side of me and Jasper on the other behind the long desk, I made it through although my eyes constantly roved the couple of hundred journalists and photographers, waiting for one of them to stand up and threaten me. I knew it was unlikely, but I couldn't shake off the fear of something happening, even with Emmett standing two feet behind me on full alert. It was exhausting and when we returned to the airport to move on to Canberra, my head was pounding and I had to clench my hands together in my lap to stop them visibly shaking.

The next week or so passed by in a blur. At the time when I was taking each flight, travelling in the cars, being interviewed or appearing on the red carpet, every second seemed to drag, but when we arrived at the hotel in Paris, I wondered where the rest of the trip had gone. It was half over and there were only London and Canada left before New York, but that was what I dreaded the most. I had almost begun to relax, just a fraction, as we moved from Australia to Europe, through Italy and Germany with nothing happening and now we were in Paris and I didn't feel too bad. All of us ate in the hotel restaurant that night, despite constant interruptions after we finished eating by people wanting autographs. I fixed a smile onto my face and signed away while Emmett hovered by my shoulder like a guard dog, ready to attack anybody who made a move.

We returned to the suite just before midnight and I showered and put on shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in, trying to work out what time it would be in Barbados before I called Jacob and discovered it was the middle of the night. It would be evening, I realised, and went to get my cellphone out of my pants pocket. However, before I had found it, the hotel phone rang and I picked it up.

"Monsieur Cullen?"

"Yes?"

"I have a call for you...Monsieur Jacob Black."

"Oh!" I hesitated, wondering why he was calling the hotel. He knew where I was; I had given him detailed lists of where I would be and what I was doing at any given time and he had always called my cellphone before, although mostly he waited until I was free to call him. "One moment." I grabbed my pants and dug out my phone, heaving a sigh of relief when I discovered it was off and the battery was dead. "Ok, put him through," I said into the phone, fumbling in my hand luggage for the power pack to charge the phone. For a moment there was silence, but I could hear breathing on the line. "Jacob?"

"No, this is not Jacob."

My breath caught in my throat and I froze, my heart beginning to race.

"You must have been wondering when you would hear from me. I have been very impatient." His voice was slightly accented and silky smooth, almost seductive.

"Who are you?" I demanded and Emmett shot out of the bathroom in an instant, pulling his pants up.

"Now, it would be silly of me to give you my name, wouldn't it? But you may call me...Laurent."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want to see one less perverted lover of men casting his influence onto decent human beings. I want..."

"How did you get my email address?" I interrupted, my voice shaking.

"Now, that was easy. Everything can be bought, at a price."

"Ed, what the hell are you doing?" Emmett snatched the phone from me and put it to his ear. "Listen, I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but let me tell you, if you try to lay one finger on Edward, you'll be in the morgue an hour later!" He slammed the phone into its cradle and sat down next to me on the edge of the bed, my trembling legs having given way and pitched me onto it. "What did he say?"

"He said...um...that he wants to see one less lover of men..."

"Fucking freak!" Emmett spat.

"He said to call him Laurent. He spoke with a bit of an accent; French, I think."

"Figures."

"But the letters in New York..." I pondered stupidly.

"Last I heard, you could get from Paris to New York in about seven hours," Emmett muttered, reaching for my cellphone and unravelling the cable. "Or maybe he has a contact over there. Here, call Jacob. I need to speak to the front desk and see what they know."

I called Jacob, moving away from Emmett and curling up on the bed with my back to him. I could hear his voice rumbling away as he spoke into the hotel phone and I breathed deeply, trying to get my nerves under control.

"Edward! I was wondering if you'd call tonight," Jacob said happily a moment later. "You're in Paris, now, right? How was the flight?"

"Uh...yeah, it was ok."

"What's wrong?" The enthusiasm vanished from his voice as he knew instantly from my tone that something had happened.

"Jake..." I had intended to try to make light of it; tell him it was just a phone call and that Emmett was with me, that I was ok, but I was shaking all over and all I managed to say was his name before I burst into tears.

"Edward! Christ, what happened? Babe...!"

Emmett had finished his call and I felt a huge arm wrap around me from behind, his broad warm chest against my back as he took the phone from me with the other hand. I put my hands over my face and stifled my cries, listening to his side of the conversation.

"...yeah, the freak called him here at the hotel, just a few minutes ago, told the front desk he was you.

"He's fine, just shaken up, that's all. I'm calling the cops next to see if they can trace the incoming call. Doubt it, but worth a shot.

"No, damnit, I don't want two of you to keep an eye on. I got it. Nothing's gonna happen to him, Jake, I promise you."

I guessed Jacob was all set to rush to the airport to come to me and I was glad that Emmett dissuaded him. As much as I longed for it to be his arms holding me right now, as I'd already told myself a hundred times, I couldn't bear the thought of him being in potential danger too. I pulled away from Emmett and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box beside the bed, blew my nose loudly and got control of myself again.

"I'm alright, give me the phone," I said. "I'm sorry," I told Jacob then. "It just shook me up; I'm fine, really."

I talked to him for an hour. Emmett retreated to the connecting bedroom to give me the illusion of privacy, although he left the door open and I knew he could hear every word I said. It didn't matter; it wasn't as if the conversation would have been intimate in anyway, except for several 'I love yous'. When I finished talking, Emmett reported that he had called the cops and they had advised they would look into the calls received by the hotel, although they very much doubted it would be traceable. Calls of that nature were usually made from pre-paid phones or public ones.

I didn't think I would sleep that night, but I did, fitfully, a combination of jetlag and worry having wiped me out. When I woke, Emmett was wheeling in a breakfast trolley, already dressed in shirt and pants, the gun holster around his shoulders and the weapon nestling beneath his arm. For the first time I was glad to see it there, although I hoped to God he wouldn't have any cause to use it.

I forced some of the breakfast down, not wanting to end up in the same situation I had on set when I'd collapsed. The fear alone was taking a toll on me and I knew I needed as much energy as I could muster. That day I had three interviews to do, plus a guest appearance on a chat show in the late evening. It was going to be a long day and every minute I was away from the hotel, I would be worried about every person I came across.

The day crawled by and nothing happened. I had told Paul and Jasper about the call and Emmett had told everybody else, taking the opportunity to talk to Rosalie at length and I had to laugh at him managing to use the situation to give him the opportunity to flirt with her. It lightened my mood a little as I watched from a distance, his bright grin and teasing attitude surprisingly drawing a few giggles from her. That evening after the chat show was done and we had returned to the hotel, there was another phone call, although Emmett told me not to answer it and picked it up himself. However, his repeated 'hellos' received no response and he hung up seconds later.

"Was it him?" I asked worriedly.

"Possibly. They didn't speak. Ed, don't worry, ok? There's only one more day here and we'll be on the way to London."

"Which is only an hour away," I pointed out. "I'm not going to be able to relax until I get back to Barbados and that last flight...something could still happen if it doesn't before."

"No, it won't. Paul talked to Leah earlier; the jet's taking you direct from New York to Bridgetown when this is over and I'm coming back with you. I'm sure Jake will give me a bed for a few days again. I have a bag of earplugs too, so I won't have to hear you going at it."

A slightly hysterical sounding laugh burst from me at this and Emmett punched me none too gently in the shoulder. I was intensely relieved that this time I wouldn't have to make any part of the journey alone and that Emmett was to deliver me directly into Jacob's arms. However, there was still one more day in Paris, then London, Canada and New York to get through before I got there and now it was this city that had me worried rather than the final destination.

The next day passed slowly, just like its predecessor and again, no one approached me or called me and we left for the airport in the evening, tense and wary. Was Laurent just playing with me? Trying to spoil my last couple of weeks in the public eye for his own amusement? Or did he really intend to try to hurt me? Not knowing was the worst thing about it and as we arrived in London, my anxiety began to give way to annoyance. I was glad to be leaving all of this behind, but I had at least wanted to give the public the best of myself that I could and I knew I was selling myself short. I looked tired and miserable, the smile on my lips never reaching my eyes and I was short and to the point in the interviews, wanting them over as quickly as possible. I looked at every one of my fans as I signed my name as if they were a potential killer and I'd seen a couple of press articles online, stating that I wasn't myself and it almost seemed as if I couldn't be bothered, now I was about to walk away from it all.

When I rose in the morning, I was determined to make an effort and I showered and shaved, put on one of the suits Leah had organised for me along with a brand new shirt and then ate a good breakfast.

"Nice," Emmett said, raising an eyebrow. "Where'd the other Cullen go?"

"What, you mean I don't look nice normally?"

"I meant, you normally look like you want to jump off the nearest building."

"I'm letting myself and Rosalie down," I said. "The press is saying I can't be bothered. I'm letting this whole thing with Laurent fuck up my last few days and it's not fair on my fans either. If he's going to do anything, he'll do it and me behaving like I'm scared of my own shadow isn't going to change that, is it? I'm shitting myself, but I'm not going to let it ruin things for everybody else any more."

"Good man," Emmett nodded. "So what's on today?"

"Two interviews and that dinner party thing later."

"Damnit, I fucking hate tuxes," Emmett grimaced. "Don't fit me properly."

"Can't you get one specially made?"

"I did! It's not my size, it's Mr Remington, here." He tapped the gun at his side. "Makes a bulge. Stupid fitted jackets don't cover it so well."

"What type of gun is that?" I asked curiously.

"I thought you hated them."

"At this point, let's say I'm respectful," I said wrily.

"It's a .45 semi-automatic pistol, mainly used by the military; stainless steel with an aluminium trigger, two eight-round magazines, fibre optic front sight and adjustable rear sight..."

"I don't know what any of that means," I smiled. Emmett was clearly in his element.

"All you need to know is it's accurate and it does a lot of fucking damage," he finished.

"Have you ever shot anyone?" I asked, feeling a slight chill.

"Don't ask me that, Edward."

"That's a yes, then."

"It's my job; sometimes there's no other choice. Let's just leave it at that." He tucked the gun into its holster and picked up his jacket.

The day went well enough. The two interviews were only an hour each and I made much more effort with the autograph signing and smiling for the cameras. Paul and Jasper both commented that I seemed more positive and I did actually feel better although I still feared the freak would appear at any moment. By mid-afternoon we were back at the hotel and I had some time to relax before we had to get ready for the dinner party. Some of England's biggest stars would be there and it was more about them than me, although I was invited as part of the promotion for 'The Chains That Bind Us' and to make a short speech about my retirement from show-business. Not all of the other cast were invited, but Paul and Jasper would be there, plus Rosalie and Emmett, as usual, would be my shadow.

When we arrived, there was immediately a problem. Emmett wasn't on the guest list and they wouldn't let him through the door. He was right behind me, but I halted and turned back as soon as I heard that he had been stopped. It took some twenty minutes to sort out, with me demanding that they let him in, otherwise I would simply get back in the car and leave. Stating that a threat had been made on my life and no amount of hotel security compared to my own personal bodyguard eventually convinced them to admit Emmett, but I wasn't happy and began to wish Leah hadn't accepted the invitation.

Crowds of people in tuxes and evening gowns were mingling and I recognised many other actors and actresses, a few singers and a handful of international stars, some of whom came to speak to me and commented on the fact that I would be leaving all of this behind. Waiting staff slipped in and out of the groups of people, wearing distinctive white jackets and carrying silver trays of champagne glasses. I didn't have a drink at that moment and I looked around for one of the staff, needing something to ease my dry throat.

"Mr Cullen, Sir..." A waiter appeared at my elbow, tray held at shoulder level as he placed a glass directly into my hand. I glanced down at dark-skinned fingers and then jerked my head up, turning to look at his retreating back. He had dreadlocks, tamed into a bunch with several elastic bands.

"Emmett..." I spun around the other way and almost collided with him. "He's here. Laurent. He's a waiter, he gave me this..."

"What the fuck? How do you know it was him?" Emmett's eyes scanned the room and he loomed closer to me.

"His voice."

"Where'd he go?"

"I don't know, that way." I indicated and grabbed his arm. "You're not going to leave me here, are you?"

"No, I just wanted to get a look at him."

I raised the glass of champagne to my lips with a shaking hand and then gasped as Emmett snatched it from me.

"Don't fucking drink that, for Christ's sake!" he hissed. "Come with me, I'll get you a drink. Tell me what he looks like." He gripped my elbow firmly and steered me towards the bar, pausing on the way to pour the champagne into a plant pot, making me shudder as I realised he suspected Laurent may have considered poisoning me. It was strange that he had handed me the glass, rather than offering me the tray to choose my own.

At the bar, Emmett demanded that a fresh bottle of champagne be opened and then we went to join Paul who had just finished talking to a British soap actress. Emmett filled him in on what had happened and repeated my description of Laurent. I was a mess of nerves again, heart racing and legs weak, constantly glancing left and right and behind me, although I didn't see the dreadlocked waiter again.

"God, I can't stand this," I whimpered as we sat at the large round table later, Emmett at once side of me and Paul on the other. "I daren't even eat anything."

"We can leave if you want," Paul said. "Rosalie won't mind if we tell her why."

"I can't let everybody down, I have to do that speech," I said.

"Well, we'll go as soon as it's over then."

The rest of the meal passed slowly. I was starving, despite my fear, and surreptitiously stole small pieces of food from Paul and Emmett's plates when I thought no one else was looking, but I was certain someone in the crowded room would have noticed my odd behaviour by now. By the time the dessert dishes were cleared away, I felt sick and my shirt was sticking to me beneath the tuxedo, my bow tie seeming like it was trying to choke me. I wiped damp palms on my pants legs as I heard my name announced and realised it was time for me to get up, head for the stage and make my speech. I pushed the chair back and rose slowly, immediately deafened by applause.

My eyes swivelled this way and that as I stepped around the chair and pushed it back under the table, convinced that Laurent was lurking somewhere, just waiting for me to be exposed. I walked to the stage on shaky legs, Emmett following and then taking up a position off to one side. Everything I had intended to say went right out of my head and there was a moment of silence while I struggled to get my thoughts in order. Then it all came back to me and I made the short speech, knowing I sounded stiff and awkward, but it was hard work keeping my voice from shaking. It was over at last and everyone stood up and clapped as I walked down the four small steps back to floor level, Emmett behind me. Then suddenly everything happened at once.

I heard cursing, my name being uttered urgently by Emmett, then a deafening bang, followed quickly by another. Then I was falling, crashing face first onto the dancefloor. I couldn't breathe, my throat constricted and all the air pressed out of my lungs by the weight of Emmett's body on top of me. I gasped like a fish out of water, hearing equally breathless grunts in my ear from my bodyguard. All around us there were yells and screams and the sound of footsteps and chairs scraping.

"You're alright, Ed, it got me," Emmett panted, rolling off of me at last onto his back. "And I got him."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N This is the last chapter, my friends. Thank you to everyone who has read, enjoyed and commented. I hope to see you again when I begin posting my new story, "Torn". Summary, photos and a banner are on my Facebook page if you want to take a look - facebook dot com slash hankslady**

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

**Edward's POV**

"Where's Emmett?" I demanded minutes later. In a very short space of time, everyone else had been evacuated from the ballroom and I was surrounded by Paul, Rosalie and two cops. Nobody was telling me anything.

"He's answering some questions with the cops," Jasper said, striding towards us.

"He's not hurt?" I gasped.

"Just winded; he was wearing a vest."

"Thank God!" I exhaled rapidly. "What's going on?"

"They're deciding whether to arrest him or not."

"This is bullshit!" I was shaky, but the fright had passed and I wanted to know exactly what was happening. Emmett had been protecting me, had thrown himself in front of me to stop me being shot, and they were thinking of arresting him? What the hell was wrong with England? This would never happen in the States. What was worse, was that as I looked around I could see Laurent on his feet, hands cuffed behind his back, but looking completely unscathed. Emmett had said he had 'got him' which I had taken to mean he had shot my attacker, but he certainly hadn't shot Laurent.

"Mr Cullen, we need you to come down to the station to make a statement," an officer said to me moments later.

"What for? Can't I do it here?" I protested. "Where's my bodyguard?"

"Mr McCarty will be taken to the station too."

"Alright," I agreed immediately. Maybe at last I would find out what had happened in the blur of the last few minutes and Emmett would be free to go. Despite protests from Paul, none of the others were required and were advised to return to the hotel. I could see it being a very long night and I took the opportunity to call Jacob while I was driven away to the police station. Predictably he was horrified and I doubted anything I said would have dissuaded him from coming to me now. Rather than argue, I agreed in relief and told him he should meet me in Ottawa as we would be leaving London the next day and may miss each other if he was delayed.

It took two hours for the officers to get my statement. They made me coffee and asked a number of times if I needed anything, but it didn't make the fact that I sat in an interview room like a criminal any better. I was upset and angry and they still wouldn't let me see Emmett. It wasn't until I was at last offered a car to return me to the hotel that I realised he was waiting for me by the front desk and he grabbed me in a bear hug when I reached him, flinching when my hand touched his back.

"Gonna have a hell of a bruise," he grimaced.

"You didn't tell me you were wearing a vest," I said as we sat in the back of the car.

"I dunno, I just got this feeling if something was going to happen, it would be at that party. Thought I better be safe than sorry."

"So what happened?" I asked. "They wouldn't tell me anything. I gave them the details of the letters and email and the phone calls, then Laurent giving me the champagne, but...I thought you'd shot him!"

"It wasn't him," Emmett said. "He was just a puppet following instructions. With any luck they'll lock him up too, but the real stalker is some guy called James - an American. He's the one who tried to shoot you. I was looking around from the side of the stage while you did that speech, trying to see Laurent, and this blond guy caught my eye. He was just acting weird; he didn't look like a guest or staff, he just didn't fit right. He couldn't see me from where I was although he would have known I was there. He pulled a gun out when everyone stood up cheering. I got him in the shoulder before I fell on you."

"Fuck," I shuddered. "I can't believe this is happening. Do you know why? I mean, who is this guy?"

"I don't know much; only that he flew to London yesterday from New York and obviously hates you for some reason. They told me it doesn't seem to be about religion. Laurent just used that to scare you. Maybe you refused to give him an interview one time; or maybe he's a failed actor who's jealous; a gay hater or even a fag scared to come out of the closet. Who knows what starts these freaks off? We might never know."

"Well, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key," I muttered.

"They probably will. I doubt he'll go to trial here; they'll most likely send him back and make him face the music in the States."

"I hope so."

"Did you call Jake?"

"Yes, he's meeting us in Ottawa," I said, smiling at last.

"Well, at least for the last few appearances, you can relax a bit," Emmett said.

"Yeah, unless there's some other creep after me."

"I doubt that, but you can be sure I'll get him if there is."

My cellphone rang suddenly and I pulled it out of my pocket as the car halted in front of the hotel. Emmett opened the door for me and spoke to the cops for a few seconds as I answered the call, which was Dad.

"Edward, are you alright, son?" he asked urgently. "I'm watching the news...!"

"Oh, God," I groaned. "It's live already?"

"There's a reporter outside the hotel where the dinner was. They showed a photo of you being put in a cop car. Are you hurt? Is Emmett hurt?"

"No, we're both fine. He got shot, but he was wearing a vest." I told him the whole story as Emmett ushered me into the lounge where Paul, Jasper and some of the others were waiting and I could hear him regaling them with details of our trip to the station. Dad was horrified and all set to fly out to meet me as well. I protested again, but in the end agreed to him meeting us in New York; that way he would get to spend the last four days with me before I returned to Barbados.

I barely got any sleep that night. Leah called shortly after I'd finished talking to Dad, demanding to know what happened and suggesting she cancel the rest of the tour and get me home immediately. I refused, determined to finish the tour and deal with the questions I was likely to be met with in the interviews. I could imagine the attack would take precedence over everything else and then the movie would come a close second, leaving not a great deal of opportunity for me to be asked about my lifestyle and plans.

I was exhausted the next day and struggled not to yawn during the final interview I had to do before we all returned to the airport and headed for Canada. I was glad to leave London behind and realised I was actually looking forward to the last few days now that what I had feared was behind me. I slept on the plane and by the time we reached the hotel in Ottawa, I felt much better.

Emmett was in some discomfort and when I saw him without his shirt, the huge purple bruise between his shoulder blades shocked me, but as usual he joked about it and made out that it was just makeup to make the women think he was a hero. I knew the only woman on his mind at the moment was Rosalie, unusually for him, and he was determined to try to get a date with her when he returned to LA after spending a few days with Jacob and me at home.

Jacob arrived late that night, the concierge calling my room to announce him and refusing to let him come up after the drama in London. Emmett went down to get him and then stayed in the bar to give us some alone time. As soon as the door closed behind him, we were in each other's arms. With the anxiety and exhaustion and Emmett being present, we hadn't managed to find time for even one episode of play with the iPads and we fell upon each other like starving men, scattering clothes across the room as we made our way to my bed.

"God, I missed you so much," Jacob groaned, breaking our heated kiss and pulling me tighter against him. "Thank God this is the last time."

"I'm not going anywhere without you, ever again," I said determinedly.

As desperate as we were for each other, we made each other come with hands and mouths to relieve a little pressure so that we could then take our time making love, relishing every second until we came again together, my arms and legs wrapped around Jacob holding him tight to me, our hearts pounding in unison and eyes locked. I felt as if I were home already, even thought Barbados was still a week away.

The next few days flew by - after Ottawa there was Montreal and Chicago and then we were in New York and Dad joined us in the hotel. He had managed to get a room on the same floor and spent a good deal of time with us, even being invited to join me and the others for a couple of the interviews. It was on the second day when I received another surprise. A call came up to my room, which Emmett answered despite the risk of anyone else bothering me being extremely low.

"It's your mother," he whispered a moment later, his hand over the receiver.

"On the phone?" My eyes widened.

"In the hotel. They want to know if she can come up."

"Yeah...of course." I hadn't really expected to see her again, at least not any time soon and Jacob and Emmett left me alone before she reached the room, even though I asked Jacob to stay. I let her in and closed the door after her.

"Mom; I didn't expect to see you here," I said cautiously. "Will you sit down?"

"Thank you, Edward." She made her way to the sofa and I took a chair opposite. It was like looking at a stranger. We had never been very close, but now it seemed as if I barely knew her. "Where's...um...your friend?"

"Jacob? You can say his name, Mom. He's downstairs with Emmett. He wanted to be considerate by not forcing you to acknowledge him," I said with a touch of sarcasm.

"Edward, I'm sorry that I've been so distant," she said with a sigh. "I don't blame you for being angry with me."

"I'm not angry, I'm just...disappointed. I am really happy for the first time in my life and I really wish you would be happy for me. You shun me and worry about public opinion all the time and yet you must have seen what the press and my fans are saying; none of them care, not really. I love Jacob and he's going to be part of my life forever. If you can't eventually accept that, then I don't see how we can have any kind of relationship. On this occasion he's been considerate to you, but if you want to see me in the future, he'll be with me."

"I'm sorry, Edward," she repeated. "I've let my views get in the way of everything. You're entitled to make your own choices, of course you are. I've just found it difficult to understand. I still do, but I want to try to put things right between us. What happened to you in London made me realise that life is too short and I've made some terrible mistakes in my treatment of both you and your father."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Dad still loves you, you know; he told me that. I hope you can work things out too. As for me; I would much prefer it if you were part of my life, Mom, but like I said - my life is with Jacob and you are going to have to get used to it."

"Yes, I know that and I will, I promise. I hope that one day you can forgive me for the way I've pushed you away and tried to manipulate you. I've had a lot of time to think lately, especially since your father moved out. I'd like to think that we can put this behind us."

"I'm sure we can. Perhaps you could come visit us in Barbados," I suggested. I had been tempted to give her a hard time when she arrived, but I didn't see that it would achieve anything. What I really wanted was for her to change her attitude and accept me and it seemed that she was determined to at least try to do that. The attempt on my life in London coupled with Dad moving out from the family home had obviously made her rearrange her priorities and I just hoped that it would last; I was certainly willing to give it a go and welcome her efforts.

"Perhaps," she said. "I mean, yes, I'd like that, but I want to spend some time working on things with your father first."

"From what he's said, I know he misses you. I think he's just waiting for you to make a move, one way or the other."

"Well, I won't waste any more time. He's here in New York, isn't he?"

"He's staying in the hotel; room 2140," I told her with a smile.

"Thank you, Edward. I'll speak to him before I go."

"You're going straight back to LA?" I asked.

"Well, I wasn't quite sure of my reception. I could stay a night or two until the end of your tour, if there's a room available. I'll ask."

I showed her out and gave her a light kiss on the cheek before she left the room. I hadn't expected this kind of turn around from her, but it was good to see and I was certainly hopeful that things would improve between us - maybe even finish up better than they had been throughout my life up to now.

**Jacob's POV**

The end of Edward's tour couldn't come fast enough for me. The call I'd received from him from London had horrified me and I'd watched the news on my laptop while I waited at Grantley Adams for a plane go to him. The fact that the guy had tried to shoot him sickened me and the trip from Grantley Adams to O'Hare and then finally to Macdonald-Cartier had seemed endless, until I could actually see him and know that he was really alright. I had been worried about Emmett too, but as usual he had laughed it all off and made out like it was all part of a day's work for him.

Finally the New York premier was over and we were heading back to the hotel in a Limo, Emmett cursing as he yanked at his bow tie in an effort to loosen it. On this occasion I'd accompanied Edward although I hung back on the red carpet and let him do his thing, posing for the cameras and signing autographs, finally leaving the crowd of fans behind with an armful of cards and flowers and a couple of soft toys that people had given him. Now all we had to do was collect our baggage from the hotel and change out of our suits and we would be on the way to the airport. Edward's jet was to take him and myself and Emmett straight to Bridgetown while the others would fly back to LA the following day along with Carlisle and Esme.

I'd been surprised that Esme had made such an effort over the past couple of days, but I guessed that realising her son could have been killed gave her a kick up the butt that she had desperately needed for some time. I still wasn't convinced that she would start to act like a proper mother over night, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and talked to her politely for Edward's sake when we had dinner with her and Carlisle in the hotel. The pair of them had decided to try to patch things up when they returned to LA, with Esme apparently doing most of the running.

We got some attention when we arrived in Bridgetown, from fans of Edward who happened to be vacationing on the island, but we made it outside after about thirty minutes and took a cab back to the house. It was the middle of the night and Emmett of course was joking about the fact that he brought earplugs, but in reality all anyone wanted to do was sleep. Emmett stayed four days and then became restless to get home. I had been amused by the fact that Edward had taken to teasing him about his apparent liking for Rosalie and looking uncharacteristically sheepish, Emmett admitted that he had talked to her on the phone and asked her to have dinner with him. I couldn't really believe that he might have found someone he actually wanted more with than one night in the sack with, but stranger things had happened. I had Edward after all and not too long ago, when he had cried in my arms over his break up with Bella, I had thought that pretty unlikely too.

We spent a couple of months just relaxing and enjoying being home with all the excitement and pressure behind us. Carlisle and Esme came to visit for a few days and elected to stay in an hotel rather than our guest room, which initially I thought was more to do with Esme's discomfort over Edward sleeping with me, but was actually more to do with the couple wanting their own privacy since their relationship was back on track. The pair of them seemed more relaxed together than I'd ever seen them and Edward was delighted that they worked things out and that his mother had made such efforts to get over her obsession with public image.

We had read news reports in the aftermath of Edward's attack, stating that James had indeed been returned to the States and was currently on remand awaiting trial, although it was doubtful he would be free for a very long time. He had been refused bail and had reportedly been badly beaten by a fellow prisoner, following which he was locked up in solitary. Laurent had been sentenced in London and was already in jail, although his stay behind bars wouldn't be that long, given his more minor part in what had happened. Emmett was eagerly awaiting a summons to court to recount his version of events from the attack and surprisingly he had recently celebrated a month dating Rosalie, admitting to us with some embarrassment that he was growing very fond of her.

'The Chains That Bind Us' had been a huge hit at the box office and was expected to win awards later in the year. Many people bemoaned the fact that it would be his last and the other main cast, plus Rosalie herself had all received a lot of attention for it too. Edward would probably have to return to LA at some point if the movie was eventually nominated and he fully intended to have both me and Emmett with him if that happened.

It was April when we finally got around to taking our first trip anywhere. Edward had booked tickets to Cairns, Australia, via several jumps including lay overs in Paris, Dubai and Kuala Lumpur so that we could have a few days in each city before spending some time diving over the reefs. I planned to keep a journal of our adventures and consider turning it into a book when we returned, given the initial success of my novel.

Edward switched on the television to catch the news before the cab came to collect us and I listened in as I finished packing my hand luggage. Sam Uley was being interviewed, halfway through making his movie, however, the reporter didn't seem interested in his first starring role. The questions were about Bella's baby, which Sam had just been granted full custody of. Bella had given the little girl a ridiculous name that no one could pronounce and proceeded to leave her with a nanny for most of the time while she flitted from one city to another, trying to get attention for herself during her current lack of movie offers. She had resorted to looking for movies which had roles for babies, with the intention of using her daughter to regain public acceptance and make money. The courts had been quick to grant Sam custody and he had changed the baby's name to Emily after his mother and vowed to have her with him on set, cared for by his sister, until filming was over. Following this he intended to give the baby girl his undivided attention and in addition, keep her away from the public eye as much as he could, only giving her a leg up into the world of acting if she wanted it when she was old enough to decide.

I hadn't really known what to make of Sam the previous year when he was first talked about in the press after being caught with Bella in Canada, but Edward's initial thoughts that he seemed quite genuine and just as much a victim as Edward himself had been right. He was clearly a pretty decent guy and intended to do everything he could to give his daughter a good start in life.

I shoved my iPad into my hand luggage with a grin, remembering when I had first bought it and how shy Edward had been about letting me see him. I zipped up the bag as a cab honked loudly from the end of the driveway and checked again that I had my passport.

"You ready, babe?" I called as I headed for the door.

"Yeah!" Edward switched of the television and joined me, a backpack over his shoulder. We were sharing one large suitcase for the majority of our things and I pulled out the handle to wheel it to the car. "I hope the public aren't going to be too much of a problem," he said.

"They're bound to want a few photos since we practically disappeared, but it'll die down. The new Golden Couple are keeping most of their attention."

Jasper and Alice had gotten engaged on Valentine's Day and were planning a huge wedding in the Fall, which Edward and I had already been invited to. The only one who hadn't yet settled down was Paul, but he was in the middle of starring in the lead role of an action movie, even doing some of his own stunts. He was hugely popular after 'Chains' and revelling in his sudden fame.

Now I stowed the suitcase into the trunk of the cab and slid into the back seat beside Edward, lacing our fingers together as we travelled the short distance to the airport. At last our lives were our own, or at least most of the time, and eventually the attention would diminish the way my own had when I first left Hollywood behind. I glanced over at Edward and grinned at the happy smile on his face. He raised an eyebrow.

"You look happy," I said.

"I am. I finally got what I always wanted," he said. "My own life to do what I want with. And you."

"I only get second billing?" I teased.

"Jerk." He pulled his hand free of mine and punched me in the arm, then leaned over to plant a warm kiss on my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The driver cleared his throat and announced that we had reached our destination and we quickly separated, paid the man and took our luggage. The world awaited us and we had the rest of lives to explore it together.


End file.
